In today’s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game. 

 

Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples’ lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy?

  

What to Listen For
Why do we struggle so much trying to change people – 1:53
Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us?
What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization?
What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us?

 
The 4 things people need before they’ll change – 8:30
What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want?
What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change?

 
Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations – 30:31 
How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy?

 
Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change – 46:13 
What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position?

 

Changing other people is not easy, and that’s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves.

 

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

 

Resources from this Episode

You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman

Bregman Partners website

Peter Bregman on LinkedIn

Peter Bregman on Twitter

 

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Instagram

The Art of Charm on Instagram

The Art of Charm on YouTube

In today&rsquo;s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees&mdash;Even Family&mdash;Up Their Game.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples&rsquo; lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy?
&nbsp;&nbsp;
What to Listen For
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why do we struggle so much trying to change people &ndash; 1:53</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us?</li>
<li aria-level="1">What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization?</li>
<li aria-level="1">What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us?</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">The 4 things people need before they&rsquo;ll change &ndash; 8:30</li>
<li aria-level="1">What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want?</li>
<li aria-level="1">What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change?</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations &ndash; 30:31&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy?</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change &ndash; 46:13&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position?</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Changing other people is not easy, and that&rsquo;s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves.
&nbsp;
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. <a href="http://theartofcharm.com/group">Join today</a> and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it&rsquo;s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that&rsquo;s in your way.
&nbsp;
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using <a href="https://www.stitcher.com/show/the-art-of-charm">our link</a>? That&rsquo;s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code &ldquo;CHARM&rdquo; to get a free month!
&nbsp;
Resources from this Episode
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Change-Other-People/dp/111981653X">You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman</a>
<a href="https://bregmanpartners.com/">Bregman Partners website</a>
<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/peterbregman">Peter Bregman on LinkedIn</a>
<a href="https://twitter.com/peterbregman">Peter Bregman on Twitter</a>
&nbsp;
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger/">AJ on Instagram</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny">Johnny on Instagram</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm">The Art of Charm on Instagram</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/pickuppodcastvideos">The Art of Charm on YouTube</a>

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it. 

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

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