Attention perverts! Mike (@comedymikegoldstein) and Lizzy (@lizzyhoo) reveal what atrocities they've seen in the players' gym at the Australian Open, Lizzy openly fantasises about a dream date with Roger Federer, and we analyse the Basavareddy/Ofner 'choking' incident with infra-red Hot Spot technology that we stole from the cricket. Also, the talented and handsome (and now rich) winner of the Million Dollar One Point Slam, Jordan Smith drops by for totally exclusive interview (if you don't count all the others he did with the world's media). To everyone's relief, this episode is completely devoid of seagulls.

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