The AgendaMatt Heath joins Manaia Stewart to discuss recovering from Gary Stead, AFL poos and Hemorrhoids (15:14).
Then the fellas rip into some searing analysis of the upcoming All Blacks game in San Diego (17:08).
Finally, they dissect a fan theory about 'Top Gun Maverick' that may explain the last four years of our lives (32:16).
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Life in the Export Beer Garden Studio and brought to you by Export Ultra of the Beer for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Friday, the nineteenth of July.
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Next Sport a Vulture.
Morning mat Heth, how's your week been? About thirty odd podcasts for you this?
Yeh?
Actually I did one. I was still recording the podcast at midnight last night. I did the Mandate podcast. Oh yes, did you go out there? I went out there, great great people.
Boy the studio because I went out into their podcast the other week. He was doing a studios just like in a garage. But yes it's in the garage, but set up well. It looks great on the on the YouTube. They had a great two hour chat. But you know, they have your a breakfast host.
You start, you know, five am, and then you're still doing a podcast at ten am. I don't know if I don't know if I delivered the best material air in my life.
But it was a good time. And you would you say that the quality of their studio is better than ours?
Yeah?
Because I was saying that I still was saying you should see the a SEC studio. Yeah, they've got they've got a round situation like round couches. It's actually actually I was gonna have a word to acc head g Lane about a round couch situation. It's actually perfect with the table in the middle so you're facing each other. Yeah, yeah, rather than what we're sitting on here is like a couple of the shittest couches ever to be thrown out into the street from the front of a student flat when someone moves south because they no point in taking it anywhere else.
And then a publicly listed company comes along picks them up.
Yeah, and then I've got and I'm having to hold my headphone it's connection so I can hear it.
Come on, No lumbar support on these couches.
Absolutely, Also it forces you into a position that makes you look like a like a fifteen chin piece of shit.
Not you me know, I no, no, me too. Though. Also, every time a video comes out from these podcasts, my missus will just send it to men like you've got to sort your posture up.
Something has to change. The came I saw a picture of me and Laura mcgulta. She took a picture of me and me and her put it on social media at the rugby last week. Oh yeah, yeah, and I'm going to put that on my mirror because because it's got to be my before.
She took the before photo that she took a great before.
I mean, she looks amazing obviously, so you know you're standing beside Yeah, something pretty good. Not to objectify her, but she's a beautiful, strong, powerful woman.
We don't do that.
We don't do that at the a sec beautiful woman, but just a sack of shit that needs to do something about himself.
I know, and I know the one sweeping change that I could make to my lifestyle that would have the biggest impact that I'm not willing to make it, and that's alcohol. Stop having fifteen beers on a Friday night before.
Every plan I put together, and a plan together with my girlfriend, I'm like, wow, let's be realistic.
Yeah, I am going to keep drinking heavily.
So the other thing I'll do is I'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to do fucking keto or like you know, I'm going to cut out carbs or high fat, high protein, blah blah blah blah blah you'll do almost everything except for just be like, hey, why don't you just take a month off.
I had an absolute keto blowout where I was ordering these packaged meals because I was like zero, you know, chackaged meals, but I just I didn't realize that the site had all different kinds of things, and I was like, wow, you can eat that, where you can eat that, where you can eat it. And I went on those for a month and I was just putting on so much weight. And then I looked back and go, oh, I've been ordering just the meals. Yeah, And I was like the reason why I was wowed that they were healthy was because they weren't. I was just pounding TV dinners and thinking it was going to make me better.
This seems like I'm dropping a three thousand calorie bomb on myself, but it's off the healthy website, so I can't be. I had a flatmate like that. Everyone was getting, you know, pretty heavily into the gym, and let's be honest, the steroids as well. But they were also on the protein powder and so he got swept up in that as well. He was hitting the protein powder milkshakes pretty hard. It'll Cartman, you up pretty nicely. Yeah, it wasn't working out at all, and so yeah, it just really really blew out.
It really works out for my seven ten year old son, just pounding protein powder and he just seems to get jacked really quickly.
But their just gets fat. Yeah that's right. Well, because he's out there, you know, moving around. I ever think about how much a seventeen year old moves constantly and a day to day, whereas I am almost entirely like stationary.
Yeah, that's a very good point.
If it can be avoided, I will be standing like sitting.
Especially with me, yelling for my kids to go downstairs or upstairs to get stuff for me.
Yeah, you know, can you get that for me? That's right? Can you do that? I'm at the age where if I walk up stairs and I forget something and I asked my missus to bring it up the stairs for me and she doesn't, that's a heated argument because I will not be going down the stairs again to come back up.
And you were like me, You live in a townhouse situation, so there's a lot of steerage.
There's a lot of stairs. Yeah, yeah, I know, And I swear they add an extra step. The other day, speaking of getting old, I old maned it down the stairs. I slipped out, the missed the stairs, and I went flying and I landed on my back and slid the whole way down the staircase. And the mark from my shoes on the wall was about where my head was. Man, that's when you want CCTV footage. Yeah, because it looks like you've done a full cartoon fall. Yeah, with her feet go right up. It was a rude awakening and I was like.
It's a Jpeshi and home alone kind of situation.
But I was looking back at the stairs. My missus comes to the top of the staircase. She's like, what the fuck has happened? Turns the thing on black Schoemer eye level halfway down the staircase. Look, one day you're going to come and I'll be unresponsive at bottom of the staircase. Here, it's about how it's going to go. I was looking for a Friday we should check in on how our week went with a little bit of a thing I like to do in my personal life. Yeah, pits and peaks. What were the pits and peaks of your week? Yeah?
I'll go first the pit was and it always is.
Thursday morning after Origin, you wake up and have to come back into work again. You're like, oh my god, I felt like I'd been shot Thursday morning because Origin never finishes till about now. It's insane midnight twelve thirty. Yeah. And then on top of that, you're also like, you know, probably having won too many beers for a Wednesday night. Yeah, You've then also got two full days to get through. It's a it's a real week ruin. And I've gotta be honest with you. I actually was intending to sleep through it and watch it in the morning. And then chris Keytspy is like, oh, should I come around to yours to watch the Origin?
I was like, you would have missed if you hadn't watched that live, you would have missed live.
Oh.
Cam Murray being sent off for the beach one of the great things. I've got a take on that though. That's there was a home invasion. He was on the beach. The fight came into his house, you know, a bunch of big dudes piling through the front door. He's just sitting there and his slipper slippers with us, with us dressing down and his pipe. Yeah, on the bench, they piling. What's he supposed to do?
Yeah, does the stand your ground rule bluffs of bench players? Just like he was in an open carry state home only Olokuatu was on the bench in a suit. He wasn't even playing. I think he was eating a peer when the fight come crashing over the sideline. What's he supposed to do? Because he only saw you know, there was only like one or two blue jerseys there. He's like, fun, I'm gonna have to get busy here. So downs your ground rules should have should have applied there? Yeah, because I think in the States you would have been within your rights to shoot them all in the head. Yeah.
But if you end up in the dugout and the wrong wrong team's dug out in a basketball game in Texas, I mean in a baseball game in Texas, you're gonna get shot. You can be shot legally, and no one, no one, no one asked a question, won't even go to court.
You're right, he was within his rights to pull a baseball bet out and just start clubbing duds. But yeah, so that was your that was your my pet, but my peak. Yeah, And I don't know if you saw the video came out quite late last night. I went to the New Zealand cricket launch Oh yeah yet, and I met Gary Stead and we had you know, media availability, which is always hilarious because we the a SEC get put in with the actual journalists. Yeah right, and you're standing there, you feel like you're sticking out like dogs balls.
Like, and they're like, they don't think you deserve to be dead?
No, yeah, absolutely, And so a hard hitting ernest journalist was about was asking Gary Stid some questions and the media guy goes, hey, after you talk to him, to Tom and I are over here, and I was like, I genuinely just want to ask you about my wrong and how to fix it. And he was just like, oh really, I've got some drills and he like it. Immediately switched on that coach brain. You were one hundred percent wrong in I think I bowl a stock wrong in. Yeah. I've always only bowled stock wrong and I've only ever had one person peck it. Oh, two people picked it. One was either James or Hamish Marshal, I don't know which. But when we played in the Dulux trailers a week week, yeah that's right. Yeah, because I bowled my first ball to him and he clubbed it for six, and then he goes, was that a wrongin? I was like yeah. And then the other one was we were bowling in Jerry's backyard at the start of the year. Yeah, and Kan Williamson was watching from the deck and he goes.
Was that a wrong Well in that last a c C game we had, we had that great technique where you had bowled four wrongins and we're like, we were going to the batsman he no, one bowls four wrongins. When's there when he can't keep bowling the wrong and when's he going to change it up?
And it totally worked.
Yeah, because I literally can't.
It's like six wrongins, so way you never would have picked it. Each one was less likely than the last.
It's like tossing a corn and it coming up here six times in a row. Every time. You're like, no, I've got I've got to go to us. But anyway, yes, So I told Gary std that and so he was like, oh, yeah, I can give you some tips and bar ba ba and he's like, what do you want to ask me? I was like, ye know that that's all long is really Yeah. So then we did the interview, all of a sudden we're kneeling on the floor and men Gary Steered are bowling wrongins back and forth at each other, and he gave me a drill to do to try and fix. You know, it's a risk position, right, But really changed how I thought of Gary Stead. I don't know why not that I thought negatively of him.
Yeah, but you know he's got skills as a coach. I guess you'd assume that as the national coach of a of a cricket team.
But it would have been so easy for him to be like, what, I'm not going to give you fucking bowling tips.
I'm sure you've got into it. But that schedule looks which looks good, doesn't it? It does got a lot of England there. It's another weird donut schedule, right, I just looked at the names.
Yeah, so three tests England series, which is going to be awesome, phenomenal, And I love it that it's at the December, like before New Year's Yeah. Yeah, so it's like the tail end of work. You're still kind of clocking off, but everyone's still around.
Yeah, so you don't.
Really miss it. So three games as well, that's the other exciting part. So there will be a decider and even then, like, I don't think you have a dead rubber in cricket if there's a three test series. Even if we win the first two, the third is still not a dead rubber. But yeah, so I'm pretty excited about that. Then we fuck off to Pakistan for like a month that we're.
Still paying for pissing them off with going home after a slightly threatening email, aren't we. I feel like we're still paying our dues to them.
Well, so there was there was a slightly threatening email where we pulled pin. Then there was during COVID they stayed at the Shutter on the Park in christ and they flouted the rules. Yeah that's right, and so we reprimanded them for it. And then Shower Bakta came out of the clouds and threaten nuclear war against that.
Yeah that's right, And we've stayed at the Shutter on the Park.
It's beautiful. It is true.
I would like to be out of all the hotels in New Zealand. There's spacious water features. Yeah, you're going to be locked down for COVID. That's not a bad hotel to be in.
But you know, we were staying there and we weren't in lockdown and we didn't leave our rooms.
No, that's true.
You don't have to because it's such an amazing complex down. They're not an AD but kind of an AD. But yeah, no, no. So the February thing is the Champions Trophy, which we haven't done since like twenty fourteen. I don't really remember it, but it's an ode competition. Then there's like a three try series with South Africa and Pakistan. Then weirdly we all get on the same flight and come back to New Zealand. It's all very confusing, but yes, it is exciting that we have the summer of cricket coming up Pakistan as well, and I've forgotten who the third team is. It's coming over here. What were your pits and peaks of the week?
Heath Well, the pet was the return of my hemorrhoids after you know, I doubt with them. There was actually agenda. There was an Agenda podcast where me and Glane took supposits one twin suppositories in Doneda Yeah, yeah, in Donedan and then and that was at the end they were gone. Yeah I thought we were they were out that that was the final of the treatment. They were all completely gone. And then I went to Arrowtown for a week and just punished red wine around a bunch of vineyards and.
They just popped back out.
So so the pet is the return of the hemorrhoids. When they were out there, I was out and now I'm back dragged back in. But the peak was Ian Jones at the at the Rugby last week on Saturday. He came up to me and a circle is talking and he goes he points at me, and I'm like, Ian Jones is talking to me. This is fucking great. And he goes, did you think we were going to lose? And I said, I did it should a couple of points I thought. I actually got quite worried. And he goes, that's why you were never an all black. And there was quite a crowd talking. What there's quite quite a crowd talking? He laughs, And then I just said, there's a lot of reasons why I wasn't an all black.
I mean, look at me. Brought the house down with laughter.
It was a great Oscar wildie back and forth, room laugh, a room laugh.
It was a room laugh.
Always leaving a room laf so often when I talked to, you know.
Heroes of my youth, I clam up and I become shrinking violet. So so just to have her back and forth with Ian Jones was was a real It was a real peak kid.
So he was you weren't talking to him? He just came over to tell you why you weren't, and all black.
Yeah, yeah, that's right, I was talking to I was talking to Jeremy Wells actually.
Yeah right, I just came over, Yeah, came. It's quite a gentle natured dude. Yeah.
Yeah, it was all very It was all very gentle and funny and well meaning. But you know, I mean, I'm not saying it was the greatest comeback of all time. It's almost like if you just say something confidently back and forth, there's the rooms ready to laugh, you know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, there's a bit of tention there. Yeah that was your peak. Yeah that was my peak. Yeah.
The peak was that pits the roids? It pits the roids. What's what's the next steps? Have you have you on the surgery route? Do they have to cut those things off?
I don't know. I don't know how you deal with it.
Got I've got a doctor friend that I pepper pictures with, like my mate Sean, Gail and Ralph. I just send a picture and he and he sends me and he's like, have you.
Seen Sean peaks of your hemorhoids?
Yeah, yeah, I do, and he says they're all pretty much the same. I don't need the pictures, you know. It's I'm aware of the the you know, the phenomena. Yours are particularly unicorn. It's only one as well. It's just it's just one. I've deployed so many resources are basically keeping the chemist Warehouse in business with the amount of resources I'm deploying on the on it. But anyway, like I'll keep you updated, Yeah, no, please do. It was an unwelcome return.
You know. Yeah. I know people who have been to you know, have them treated and and we're taken for like a local anesthetic sort of scalpel situation.
Yeah.
Yeah. They referred to that doctor as the Butcher of Barrington down there in Christs because I don't think they administered the requisite amount of local anesthetics.
I'm going to need a general for that. Put me out, yeah, put me out.
Because at some point I'm going to make eye contact with the block, you know, and that's gone. It's great work if you can get it moving inroids.
You go to mid school for eight years and then with scalpel up some stinky dudes.
Ass. Yeah, your mum's so proud of you because you're a doctor. And what do you do all right? You're mainly up dudes asses. Yeah, anything wrong with it? No, And while we're staying, while we are already downstairs in the AFL, but AFL news underrepresented on the Gender podcast. An AFL team charted a flight between two cities over there in Australia after the game. It was a four hour flight and about halfway through the flight, the whole airplane ran out of water, right, so the toilet couldn't flush. Oh, it was stuck and the ear the cabin crew had to shovel human feces out of the toilet so that people could keep using it. Wow, it's kicked up a massive stone over there. Excuse the punt because obviously the AFL team look high protein diets.
Yeah, oh god, are terrible. They're also all about.
Seven feet tools ran into their cubicle. Yeah, it's caused some issues with the cabin crew. You Yeah, like we shouldn't have to deal with that.
You shouldn't have to deal with that. No, that's that's more for you. Do they need a onboard plumber at all times? Did anyone yell out is there a plumber on the plane? I mean that on a commercial flight you might get a plumber on the plane, you know, but you're not on a charter flight.
You're not. You're just going to get a bunch of AFL guys that don't know what to do. Yeah, and then you've got a bunch of phizios on there. It's like, what good are you going to be? Yeah? Sure, if I go into cardiac arrest or have a bit of a cramp, you could help me out. Yeah, but what happens when I clog the toilet down the back? Yeah? Professional teams need to be traveling with plumbers. It's a good take. Yeah, I think they do.
I mean the English team travels with a hairdresser, so that guarantee to go with the English football team is guaranteed to go with sweet fades. If you ever wonder why they all come onto the field with the sweetest fads I have, and it's because they travel always with the hair dresser.
Not a bad gig. They were traveling. Yeah, if you've got a hear dress and models, we'll take a plumber.
Yeah, who knows if you need to you know, knock together a I don't know, a windy house or something.
Take a builder as well, a full trade stuff. All right, we're going to take quick break. When we come back, we're going to preview the All Backs taking on Fiji in San Diego tomorrow afternoon. Snap Dragon Stadium is the name of the venue for tomorrow's game.
Yep, yep, powerful namevers that fifty five thousand. I was talking to Mills mullya earlier today and he said that it's hard to get tickets where he said he found eat enough it sold out, but he said he was struggling to get free tickets.
Because for his family.
So so you know, like if there's a lot of tickets floating around, you know, if someone's rung up Meles and said, mate, four hundred tickets.
Yeah, you know, like you.
Got to need anyone want to go.
I've got some tickets, you know, I've got twelve tickets or something that hasn't happened. So Meles is scratching around for tickets. That's a good sign.
It is a good sign. I don't know whether that means that it's going to be a seller, because paid tickets probably still very very available. Fifty thousands quite a lot. Yeah, that's what of them filled out Eaden Park on the weekend.
And that's yeah, and like no disrespect to Fiji, fantastic. They was put on a show. But you know, in terms of bringing in the crowd, you know, yeah, you know you've got the all blacks, the mistique of the all blacks.
It was all blacks. I don't know England or.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm interesting to see it go back, but I'm looking forward to it.
I think something, you know, like you all blacks are only paying a dollar six And me and Jerry were thinking about mortgaging our houses and putting it on there because you know you're going to get if you put a million dollars down. I mean, Jerry will be bringing in about nine million dollars for his house. But you know that's it, that's almost I was thinking, that's almost a guaranteed six percent return over a week.
What's six percent of a mill well, yeah, sixty thousand, so.
Okay, sure, is it sixth grade? Yeah, no, sixty sixty. But anyway, what have you lost it?
But then I was just suddenly thinking crazy stuff can happen in San Diego. You're over there. I mean, the first time Myland beat us was in Chicago. You've got you've got the freshest team. You know, a lot of debutants, a lot of debut a lot of a lot of debutants.
The Fiji. I've beaten England, you know.
Yeah, so the seven dollars that that, you know, I don't think there's there's a there's a world really with Fiji beat us. No, but we used to think there was no world where Island would beat us. But seven seven dollars Fiji's playing, So it's a crazy it's a crazy n No one's home ground. You're in California. It's twenty six degrees, which is which is kind of knowably better for the Fijians.
So there's enough weirdness around, Yeah, that something could happen.
Oh totally. Somebody asked me this morning when I came in, They said, oh, what are your tips for this weekend? I said, I've gotta be honest with you. They're clear of both the Warriors and the All Blacks this week. I don't think there's too much value. You could get on a tri scorer for the All Blacks, yeah, pretty comfortably, but it won't be paying.
You could get on a small margin for the All Blecks victory win, all that victory, small margin.
I just always think that if I'm betting on something that's around a dollars six or a dollar fourteen or something like that, I'm like, all I can think of is if it doesn't come in, And I'm like, I so much for such little reward. Yeah, and I missed. Yeah. I always think of my bets. Aren't what do I think is gonna happen? It's how would I like to win? If I win? It's on what? Yeah, So I'm always on try scorers and you know that kind of thing. I don't like to beat the unders.
Yeah, although again, like an afternoon seems pretty good at an afternoon game, you know our time, Oh, it's gonna be a it's going to be a high scoring game, high scoring afternoon game.
A few punts, not a bad not a bad afternoon, not.
A bad afternoon. Lane's still in witness protection. So myself and Matt Wood on that one. Yeah, score protection do I think we're going to score around the sixty seventy point mark, right, I think they could still score about twenty odd. Yeah, I do. They think we're gonna blow them out off the park though, Yeah. I think it's actually worse for fig that we've got all these debutantes and rookies and that in there, because they've got like Wallace the city, he's got something to prove. Yeah, he's going to be killing people out there. Yeah.
Yeah, court he's he's starting, is he?
Yes? He is? Yeah, yeah he was. He changed the game.
Yeah last Saturday, and Barrett as well.
Yeah, and Bart's not he's not playing impact. He's starting at fifteen. Yeah, that's right.
I love Body as an impact player. Yeah. Well, and you would argue that the most dangerous we were last weekend was when Body and Courtiez came out. So Fiji been looking at that and going off, Oh that sucks. Yeah, although I guarantee you Fiji not looking at that at all. Courtiers, you know, so named after the Nike shoes? Was that the heaven Escape shoes? Were they wearing Nike Courtiers when you know they.
Drunk the kool Aid and the San Francisco cult that. Yeah, they were wearing the same same sneakers.
Were they were wearing the Courtiers.
Yeah, I mean he's not named after I'm not saying suggesting he's named after the heaven Gate Heaven's Gate cult. No, but it's a great name. It's the greatest name in using a sport at the moment.
Courtier. Yeah, Jacob Ruts and my Sovuki Nickins. Yeah, that's up there. Mark no Wang going need to whissy. I suppose he's in Australian Yeah, I think sixty seventy points to about the twenty odd singing on rugby though its stories just come out that Artie Savia is allegedly off to mone and pacifica next year. Have you heard that?
Is that next year?
I was trying to work it out because it's said he's on contract to twenty twenty five, but he might be able to get out of the contract to the end of you know what I mean, So that would be with that, that would mean I always struggle when you're out, but you're going to be you know, you're free. But they said they might they might let them off contract. Yeah, why would the Hurricanes in the off contract. I guess if you don't want to be there, you don't want to be there. But I mean it would be great for Wina PACIFICA and there, and they're you know, sort of a light you know.
Trying to look for the road word chances of drawing an audience. He's going to reunite with his brother Julian save the last year, and I actually think that's why they signed him, Yeah, to be like, hey, can you get in your brother's here and bring him over here. You know he's did you get your misses and your brother's here. He's about a year away from being World Player of the Year. Yeah, he was our best player at the World Cup as well.
We'd need to stack teams a bit more, don't we. You know, that's the thing. I mean, a close competition is a good one. And if you're running basically a communist regime like we are with the rugby Union, that's what's why you might as well just stack the teams and make them more even.
Is there a salary cap in super Rugby. I don't know.
No one knows how it works.
Nah.
It's sort of some someone rings someone and they pay them some money and they move to someone and someone some people are allowed to go away and come back, and there's there's but but you know, in the perfect world, you'd go, let's rank them all and let's make all the teams across New Zealand as even as we can.
So give them a point value, and then each team gets like a you've got fifty points to spend and you can only put one from column one.
It kind of doesn't work because of the positions, Like you know, I mean, are there you know, how many incredible halfbacks are there? Yeah, and how many incredible verse fives are there?
But like that, you know, we always say that a draft system wouldn't work, and Super Rugby I fucking would because that's pretty much how they used to do it. Anyway, when they would sign the NPC players to Super Rugby teams, they'd get all the dudes together at the start of the season. It's like, look, we're probably going to sign this guy. Did you want this guy? This guy? Oh you want him, we'll sign him. Oh he doesn't want to move to Auckland. Yeah, well cool, Well we'll pack this guy up. That's basically a draft anyway.
Yeah, it's always amazing in the draft where someone goes they've got no idea where they're going to go. Yeah, and then they celebrate and it like, you know, they might be from California and it's like you moving to New England.
Yeah, well they're like what the That's usually the kneejerk reaction against the draft system in New Zealand because it's like, oh, but then they have to go and play. You know what if you're from Wellington but you got drafted downstairs need and it's like, hey, we all have to move cities to neither of us are from Markland. Hey, exactly, take your half passed podcast and tomorrow. Yeah.
I guess the problem is that you're paying millions and millions and millions of dollars to in the American draft. You might be getting sent down, you know, four hundred, like a thousand kilometers from your home to a very different climate and get getting paid seventy five grade a year.
Yeah, that is a good point. Having said that the NBL they brought a draft in last year, only one player got sorry a trade window, only one player got traded. But you know, if the NBL, the National Basketball League of New Zealand, can do it, yeah, then anyone can do it. Which, speaking of there's some exciting news out of the NBA. We're going to take quick break and then we'll come back and talk about that. Just quickly that the Snack Changy Sports Scholarship is still live. We're binge watching a sport is a sport. If you want to win that, you text Chip to three two three six, follow the link and you could be into win the Ultimate ACC Prize pack, talking Chips, refreshments, basically anything we can find around the office will drop it off to your house. So text Chip to three two three six we'll be right back. The National Basketball League of New Zealand Matt Heath, Yes, the basketball competition that's going on at the moment, and they are eyeing expansion next year. They're going to bring some new teams in the teams that they're looking at bringing in from India. They're looking to bring in teams from India into the men's and women's. Okay, so they would have to move to New Zealand. Because I've been to India and it took me about two days to get there. I was thinking when I read this, I was imagine you play for the Canterbury rams. You're right, on Wednesday, you're playing against the Otago Nuggets. Then on Friday you have to fuck off to a meta bed.
So you'll be there's a there's there's a brutal layover in Singapore.
Yeah, you're gonna get off and like run some suicides just to get the leagues. But a blood pumping in the leagues.
But it'd be a great idea if they moved down here and just pick somewhere where they're going to stay, and then you know, they probably get quite a lot of support.
I feel like they looked at, like the NBL looked at what are some of the richest sports and the fastest growing sports that are going on at the moment, and cricket is going on in leaps and bounds because of the IPL. Yeah, it's changed most sports. Every other sport has had to try and come up with their version of the IPL. And when whenever anger the Indian cricket fans our social media blows up seventy thousand comments on a post blah blah. Yeah. So I think they've just looked at them and go, well, fuck it, if we're going to bring in a new team, I bring in another team and Ash Burton. Yeah, when we could just have access to one point five billion people. Do you know I've got a theory about the NBL because you know, basketball's you know, incredibly you know, popularizing, popular getting bigger, and not just the NBA, but like participation. I've got my theory on this.
It's a game you can play by yourself, two people, five people. It's half courts all over town. It's a fantastic game like that, you know. But I was thinking, if you're a TV and Z, you know, they've got their problems with everything, just throw.
The money at the NBL.
I put the NBL on after freaking seven sharp yep, every night, because who cares about your stupid American shows you're spending million dollars on. Everyone's going to watch something better on Netflix or Amazon or whatever. So just if you just throw the fucking any money you've got in the bank, TV and Z, if you're at buying the NBL, and that could just blow up in this country, if you know, if move the games seven o'clock, you know, and the thing about playing a game later, you know, going along to basketball games. I should go to Nuggets games all the time. It's fine, because it's inside. Yeah, it's fine, it's not. It's not sitting outside in a freezing cold park.
It's chill.
It's the perfect game to be put moved into and you could up, you could ramp that league right up the wazoo. Yeah, so easily, because we're so desperate to all we care about us watching live sport.
Right. Yeah.
So I don't know if there's anyone from TVNZ just opened the check book. I don't know how you're going to just throw money in it.
I know Sky looking at doing something similar, because you say, right, it's like going to a movie. You're sitting inside. Yeah, seats are quite nice. Down a Q too long to get a beer. And if you don't know anything about basketball, it's a sport that you don't need explained to you. Yeah. You know when you see a dunk that that was a good play. You know, when someone hits a three point, you like, oh, that was probably pretty good.
Yeah.
You take someone along to cricket, they'll be like, wait, why was that? Yeah?
Yeah absolutely, I mean it makes sense.
You put the put the ball through the.
Hoop, Yeah, do it in spectacular fashion and get the oos and as great. Yeah, I'm I'm all in on.
So someone needs to just get that into primetime and just it could be it could be something that changes New Zealand's sporting landscape.
Yeah, and you can play so many games.
That's the thing.
I mean one of the problems with you know, rugby, yeah and league, because you can't play that many games unless you're Mitch Barney.
And then you seem to be able to just fuck it, ram it.
You seem to come back from an oh and probably have a massive night out. Yeah, and and and then I mentioned he's going to be incredible tonight.
I just brought him into my fantasy teach I reckon he's going to go great as well. Yeah, you're right. The other thing is every kid's playing it because you know, obviously appearents are concerned about head knocks and that. Yeah, it's not too many head knocks and basketball. Also, it's played on a week nights, you know, giving up your weekend. It's indoors, you don't stand on a freezing sideline.
It It's got the inside track, plus a bunch of cool kit you know, oh.
The best, the best kit, the best kit. Michael Jordan's got dudes wearing sneakers with jeans sounder control. No one else has done that for any other sport. Moving on to Gulf, the Open Championship is teed off overnight our time. They're over there in Troon in Scotland. Have you seen Rory McElroy. He shanked his T shirt. It was one of the most relatable things I've ever seen. So the fairway went alongside of train track, train tracks just on the right hand side of it as you're looking down the fairway and he sliced the fuck out of it and you could see him looking at it go and it just sailed out over the train track into the bush. Oh well, I was like, why not of us amount of times I've been there, we have four kiwi's in the field lanes. Actually put a bit on Dan Helliers to come top.
Forty Okay, how's fox he doing?
See is two over, Kazuma Kabori's two over as well. Michael Hendry is three over and Dan Hillier is five over. Okay. To put that in perspective, the leader at the moment is Shane Lowry is five under. Wow, so not too well. I think we got really excited about having four kiwis in and we're like conflated that to be like, oh, they going to win it.
Yeah, we've got four of them. One of them is going to win the problem with.
Four Kiwi's is when they get together in any area, they're going to get first night fever and get massively on the hammer.
Oh we should have been against them, Yeah, we should have been four keys in one place.
First night fever is impossible to avoid.
You run into four of your mates in Scotland like you're on.
There's basically entrapment for New Zealander. We shouldn't let it happen.
We shouldn't. It should be one Kiwi minimum maximum at any international sporting event.
That's what their agents are trying to organize. You can't go into another agent. You can't put if they If those guys get anywhere near each other, we're going to be dusty.
For the whole whole fucking thing. I think you stagger it.
I think what they should have done is sent Ryan Fox and Michael Hendry should have sent them over their veterans. Yeah, they're gonna get on the purse, but they can handle it. We need to keep Dan Hillier and Kazuma Gabori away from those dudes, because they'll get caught in the backdrap and they'll be fucked for the weekend. That's such a good point. Just one last thing before we knock this on the head for this week. This is the headline that's got nothing to do with sports. It's vaguely sports adjacent. That it's proved a theory that I've had for a while. Hulk Hogan to warm up the crowd for Donald Trump's first speech since assassination. Intent.
Man, that's the kind of thing that you see in a movie that's a joke, you know, like it's just off on a headline. Yeah, you know, like sometime in the future. It's like back to the Future too or something. There's a crazy ass headline happening. It's like something the Simpsons. It would have been an idiocracy.
And I've had this theory for a while that actually what happened in COVID was we all actually died, right, and the last four years has been you know, the last like brains like alive for eight minutes and it's thinking all these weird thoughts and you don't know that you're dead yet. Jesus, I reckon. That's been us for the last four years, all of the shit that's happened. It's like, Maverick, have you read that theory about Top Gun Maverick? No, that he died in the in the you know, the first test pilot when he put it over mac ten and then he walks into that sort of diner and it's never explained what happened and the rest of that because everything's gone wrong. And then after that everything goes right for him. He falls in love, he sorts out the whole problem with Goose and the problems he's had with Goose's son, and if you can actually there's a really good theory if you watch the movie like that, and I've watched it like that, and he goes, oh shit, I think he died. I think he died when he pushed that plane too fast. Does it explain Top Gun Maverick. Oh wait, this is about Top Gun Maverick, not the original about Top Gun Maverick.
Yeah, right, So Top Gun Maverick is because he's in a bad state after Top Gun and losing Goose, and he's just sort of and then he then he pushes it and then everything goes freaking you know, everything sorts out in his life and he basically ends up in heaven.
You know, do you think we've been mavericked as a people. Yeah, I think that's likely. But the good thing about Hulkkon coming out is if they've got to play fight for the Rights of every Man. You know that song I Am a great American fight for the rights of every man, Fight for your rights, fight for your life. I feel like theme song. That's as powerful a moment as any to go out on.
So I feel like we're not the second We've got all lyrics around wrong, but you know, you know what I'm talking about.
Look it up. Look it up.
Great song that's about the vibe. Enjoy your weekend.
Later on on this feed you will have the ACC Sports Book with myself and Carl Tyley from the TB commentary of the Warriors. Tonight is Me and Chris Key from ten o'clock. Then tomorrow two thirty we get the all Lex slide from two thirty. Otherwise Joey Weekends give.
Him a taste of Kiwi.
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