This week on Text Me Back, the greatest podcast in the history of media, Lindy and Meagan dive into their texts to share some hard truths: Tom Cruise is great! Chris Pratt is actually funny? Sorry, discourse, but we need to discuss our problematic faves.

And, your intrepid hosts have departed Independence, Missouri, with nothing more than a dream, a covered wagon, a dimwitted guide, and an unhygienic missionary…that’s right, Oregon Trail is back, baby, and weirder than ever. Will Lindy and Meagan make it to the Willamette Valley without dying of dysentery? Tune in to find out.

Finally, Lindy — president of the weird snake fan club — is at long last bringing us hot snake news all the way from the Amazon. Someone has allegedly found an enormous anaconda, but viewers of the hit 1997 film "Anaconda" starring Jennifer Lopez already knew all about it.

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TEXT ME BACK is a production of KUOW in Seattle, a proud member of the NPR Network.

Our editor is Jeannie Yandel. Our senior producer is Brandi Fullwood. Our mixer is Jason Burrows.

Come to TEXT ME BACK LIVE! Join us at Town Hall Seattle on Friday March 15th 7:30-9:30pm. Grab your tickets here.

Love the show? Share it with your bestie, and rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! Got a question or accolades for Lindy and Meagan? Join the TMB Text Club! Text BFF to 206-926-9955. Or email us at textmeback@kuow.org. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!