We are learning tragic and shocking new details this morning about the murder of a young Sydney swimming coach, after an inquest heard her killer carefully planned and even rehearsed her death. Twenty one year old Lily James was killed last year by her ex boyfriend in the bathroom of the high school where she worked. It comes as new evidence suggests the killer had a history of control and manipulation the more. We are joined by Executive Director of National Women's Safety Alliance, Catherine Bernie, live in Canberra. Good morning to you. This was cold blooded, it was calculated, it was planned. There's no other way to put it.

We are learning tragic and shocking new details this morning about the murder of a young Sydney swimming coach, after an inquest heard her killer carefully planned and even rehearsed her death. Twenty one year old Lily James was killed last year by her ex boyfriend in the bathroom of the high school where she worked. It comes as new evidence suggests the killer had a history of control and manipulation the more. We are joined by Executive Director of National Women's Safety Alliance, Catherine Bernie, live in Canberra. Good morning to you. This was cold blooded, it was calculated, it was planned. There's no other way to put it.

No, it's absolutely horrendous. In what we've heard though, does follow a pattern of escalating behavior from a very violent, very unwell individual.

No, it's absolutely horrendous. In what we've heard though, does follow a pattern of escalating behavior from a very violent, very unwell individual.

We're also learning about his aggressive behaviors in the past, aren't.

We're also learning about his aggressive behaviors in the past, aren't.

We Yeah, absolutely, I mean so we've seen a pattern of coercive behavior, We've seen a pattern of escalating behavior towards physical violence. Now it seems in the situation with Lily James, he escalated those behaviors exceptionally quickly after a brief relationship. But it is alarming the details of his previous relationship, the incidents of surveillance, stalking, aggression. All the women who have been engaged with this person romantically that we know of through this inquest have said how uncomfortable and frightened they felt by this person.

We Yeah, absolutely, I mean so we've seen a pattern of coercive behavior, We've seen a pattern of escalating behavior towards physical violence. Now it seems in the situation with Lily James, he escalated those behaviors exceptionally quickly after a brief relationship. But it is alarming the details of his previous relationship, the incidents of surveillance, stalking, aggression. All the women who have been engaged with this person romantically that we know of through this inquest have said how uncomfortable and frightened they felt by this person.

So look, everyone watching this this morning and reading about this case would think, how do we stop this happening again? How do we identify these warning signs and what do we do about them?

So look, everyone watching this this morning and reading about this case would think, how do we stop this happening again? How do we identify these warning signs and what do we do about them?

I think it's really important to remember that coercive control doesn't start with an episode of violence. Coercive control is a very insidious form of abuse that begins as a slow burn and e road sense of self. Now, this is someone who knew these behaviors, was comfortable in acting them in previous relationships, and escalated to violence. I think the most important thing that we need to learn from this absolutely horrendous murder is that ninety eight percent of intimate partner violence contains an element of coercive control. That's stalking, that monitoring. It isn't actually normal to have to have your location turned on on your iPhone at all times for your partner to know where you are. That is not a healthy behavior. We should be encouraging, but also recognizing this is happening everywhere. When we see a horrendous murder, we're seeing the pointy end of a crisis, which is unavoidable to look away from. But these behaviors are thriving in our society, and they're thriving across a large number of Australians, so we need to be aware of that.

I think it's really important to remember that coercive control doesn't start with an episode of violence. Coercive control is a very insidious form of abuse that begins as a slow burn and e road sense of self. Now, this is someone who knew these behaviors, was comfortable in acting them in previous relationships, and escalated to violence. I think the most important thing that we need to learn from this absolutely horrendous murder is that ninety eight percent of intimate partner violence contains an element of coercive control. That's stalking, that monitoring. It isn't actually normal to have to have your location turned on on your iPhone at all times for your partner to know where you are. That is not a healthy behavior. We should be encouraging, but also recognizing this is happening everywhere. When we see a horrendous murder, we're seeing the pointy end of a crisis, which is unavoidable to look away from. But these behaviors are thriving in our society, and they're thriving across a large number of Australians, so we need to be aware of that.

Okay. So if you are the parents who often you know just notice the saddle signs, or you are the friends, what exactly can you do?

Okay. So if you are the parents who often you know just notice the saddle signs, or you are the friends, what exactly can you do?

I think you have to have a conversation. And it's an unpleasant conversation. I think no one wants to address this or bring it up, but we need to. The behaviors are so common that we should be having these safe conversations. I've noticed this about your relationship. Are you okay? I've noticed this. How do you feel about that? We don't want to start out by saying I think you're in an abusive relationship, but we need to feel safe and empowered to ask these questions and opening questions, to have an open discussion about what's happening with our friends and our loved ones who we may be concerned about.

I think you have to have a conversation. And it's an unpleasant conversation. I think no one wants to address this or bring it up, but we need to. The behaviors are so common that we should be having these safe conversations. I've noticed this about your relationship. Are you okay? I've noticed this. How do you feel about that? We don't want to start out by saying I think you're in an abusive relationship, but we need to feel safe and empowered to ask these questions and opening questions, to have an open discussion about what's happening with our friends and our loved ones who we may be concerned about.

Okay, Catherine Bernie, we thank you very much. For your time this morning.

Okay, Catherine Bernie, we thank you very much. For your time this morning.

Thanks for having me.

Thanks for having me.

Here's sheby

Here's sheby