Is My Wife An Undercover Gold Digger?

Published Feb 4, 2020, 3:00 PM

Dear Steve and Shirley, my wife and I have been married for over 15 years and we’ve come close to getting a divorce a few times in the past few years over our finances. My wife has had issues with managing money, so I don’t trust her when it comes to keeping up with our money. We have always had separate accounts. I have a personal savings account and I’ve been able to save a great deal of money for our retirement. My wife does not have access to this account...............

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Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. Guys and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on the air, just like we're going to read this one right here, right now. Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter. All right, Thank you enoughhew. Subject is my wife an undercover gold Digger To Stephen Shirley. My wife and I have been married for over fifteen years, and we've come close to getting a divorce a few times in the past few years over our finances. My wife has had issues with managing money, so I don't trust her when it comes to keeping up with our money. We have always had separate accounts. I have a personal savings account and I've been able to save a great deal of money for our retirement. My wife does not have access to this account. We have one share account that I put money into each month for household expenses. I am able to track it, but I've never had a problem with her using the money for personal needs. We both work, but I am the main breadwinner, and I pay all of the bills in the house. That's the house note, both car notes, and all of the utilities. She pays her cell phone and American Express bills. In the past two years, she has constantly nagged me to see bank statements and a breakdown of our finances. It makes me uneasy and she gets upset when I tell her is not necessary for me to share that with her. She told me I'm too secretive and she loves to threaten me with divorce. I'm not being secretive, It's a trust thing. And why does she need to know all of a sudden, I am planning to retire with her and I want to keep her in the same lifestyle she's used to, But I don't know if we're going to make it. She has been sleeping in the guest room and she refuses is to have sex with me. I'm a father, great provider, and god fearing man, but this situation has me angry as heck. My wife won't sleep with me unless I show her my bank statement. It seems like, after fifteen years of marriage, my wife has turned into a goal digger. Please help me figure this out. Am I doing something wrong, what's up with her? Well, you know what, I don't think you're doing anything wrong necessarily because you got to save money. You want to have money for your retirement, your money. Your wife is reckless with her money and with the money, so she is not a good person to entrust your life savings and your retirement funds with. And if she doesn't understand that, that's on her, not you. I think that it's good that you guys have separate accounts. I think it's good that you guys share an account where and I think it's great that you put money in it and pay all of the bills. All those are pluses. What your wife is up to is anybody's guess. You know, if she wants to see bank statements, because I don't know, does she think or suspect that you're you're hiding money from her or something? But I think, you know, in this instance, it might be. I think it's okay for you to sit her down and tell her this is what's going on. You guys have been married for fifteen years. That should garner some kind of trust in a relationship. I mean, money is still like if not that still the number one is definitely in the top two of why relationships and marriages break up because of finances, because you know, people are reckless when it comes to money. She has her own job. What does she need to see it for if you know, if you're saving and everything. But if you guys are in a good marriage, I think there does need to be some trust. Why don't you want to show it? Sure? That? That is my question. I don't think it's necessarily because you're being secretive or trying to hide something. You just don't want her nagging you to get that money. You've got to know that. You know, a lot of times wives do go over spend. You know. That's why if you open up the trunk right now, you'll probably find some shoeboxes brand new shoes that she hasn't snuck in the house yet. You know. It's kind of you know, it's kind of just what we do, some of us. Some of us, I mean, we do, you know. But as far as he're not sleeping with you, that that's a bit far. Because you won't show her the bank statements and all of that unless she has something else planned. I think it's really really immature of her to threaten you with divorce because of this situation. That's not cool. I don't think that's something you should play with. But I think there is a communication situation going on here too. You may not want to do it, but just show her, you know, maybe that'll calm her down and settle her down and tell her the reasons you're doing this. You know you want to continue her lifestyleing you're really doing it out of love and stuff. But she's selfish more than being a gold digger, Steve, it's my wife an undercover gold digger. Well, y'all been married fifteen years, y'all and came close to divorce in a couple of times. Then you say that your wife got issues with managing money, so I don't trust her when it comes to keeping up with our money. There's a little confusion here. We've always had separate accounts, so there were the fifteen years you've had that. I have a personal savings account and you've said you've been able to save a great deal of money for our retirement and your wife ain't got access to it. Y'all. Gotta shared account that I put money into for households that I'm able to track. But I've never had. And then you said, but I've never had a problem with her using the money for her personal needs. Well, if you've never had a problem with her using the money for your personal needs, what was the several divorces about. See, there's a little confusion going on here, brother. You all have come closer getting the divorce over finances. You don't have a problem with her using the money for personal needs? Did you say? Ten seconds? Days we both worked. I'm the main brandwinner, and I pay all the bills in the house, house called all issutilities, and all she paying her cell phone, the manage. Well, when you make a lot of money, though, if you're paying all that and still saved a lot of money for y'all's retirement, and you don't have a problem with her spending for her personal needs, I'm trying to figure out what the damn problem is. I love him all right, and hold that thought, Steve. We'll have part two of your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject is my wife an undercovered gold digger? We'll be back to find out right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's strawberry letters. Subject is my wife an undercovered gold digger. This is kind of a confusing letter, y'all. Couse, you've been closer getting divorce a couple of times because you don't trust you with the money. Y'all in had separate accounts, but you got this one account where you say the great deal of money for y'all's retirement. Your wife don't have access to it. Y'all got to share the account y'all put money into and you ain't never had a problem with her using the money for her personal needs. If you've never had a problem with that, why have you all been getting a divorce? I'm confused. We both work. You the main brandwinner. You pay all the bills in the house. She pay her cell phone an Americans present. Now, in the past two years, here we go, she has constantly nagged me to see bank statements and a breakdown of our finances. Okay, most women want to know what's going on in their life. Since you have this separate account, she's asked you to see it. Now then you are uneasy with it, and she get upset because this is what you didn't tell the grown woman. Now, it's not necessary for me to share that with you. Wow, waymant doc hold a partner. I gotta tell you something real, honest man. You talking to a grown woman who's married to you, and you have a separate account that she has found out about, and you saved a great deal of money for retirement for you all. And she asked to see the bank statement of the finances of y'all's life, of which you all contribute y'all's money into this account, but you pay the bills and then you tell her it ain't necessary for you to share that with her. Dog reverse this for a second. This is what This is how Margie wins all arguments with us. She says, reversed this. D Suppose I said that to you, and you know that's how she went all our arguments. Yeah, that's whenever. But she only do that when I'm dead wrong. She don't do that when she wrong. When I reverse it, she reverse it back. She real tricky up. She told me that I'm too secretive and she loves to threaten me with divorce. Well, dog, see you say that there's all this money over here, but the money ain't in her house. She trying to figure out what is it going somewhere? Else, and you're telling her us in an account. She says, show me the account, and you tell her she don't need to know. And then she say you being secret and you say, I'm not being secretive. Okay, dog, what you want to call He said, it's a trust thing. But dog, you're keeping a secret from your wife. So she is right about that. You are being secretive. But I know when you're saying, because you don't trust it with the money. And why does she need to know all of a sudden, Wait a minute, hold up, dog, what woman don't have a right to know what's going on in her life? You think if she finds out the money that she gonna spend it, But you already got it protected because she don't have access to it. So now the fact that you won't show it to her ever, has created a huge problem. I'm planning to retire with her. She don't know that. See, now we got an insecurity issue going on because you got all his money stacked off to the side. She don't know about if she don't know, if you're gonna take it off with another woman, she don't know, if you're gonna keep it for yourself. She don't know what it is. I'm planning to retire with her, and I want to keep her in the same lifestyle she's used to. Damn, bro, I mean, I hear what you're saying. You got a good heart. I think you're phrasing it wrong to the woman though, but I don't know if we're gonna make it. Hold up, So you're gonna rish your marriage of a person you want to retire with because she think you got a secret. You don't trust her spending. You ain't gonna show her that account. And now she threatened you with divorce. And now she'd moved into the guests room. And we ain't having sex. We're not having sex. You can read all these papers. Hold on, hold on, We're not having sex. Don't you know what I mean? You know what I mean received you from the sea. This isn't statements. I'm a father, great profather and a god fearing man. Stop stop bringing the Lord in this. This ain't got nothing through the Lord. Doc. Why did the Lord tell you to keep the secret? So since I dragged the Lord into this? But this situation makes me angry as heck. My wife won't sleep with me unless how I show her my bank statements. It seems like I got fifteen years of manage when my wife has turned into a gold digger. Doc. See you're you're attaching terms to this woman. I understand the problem you have. You're saying you can't trust her with money, but you gotta fixed where she can't move the money. But now you don't want to show us that, because what's she gonna do? You think she's gonna spend more? Who? And you think she to turned into a gold digger dog? Just been the same woman for fifteen years. That's why y'all didn't had a several divorces, but her threatening you with divorces because you won't show her the paperwork, which makes her think as a woman, something else is happening. Please help me figure this out. Am I doing something wrong? Yes? What's up with her? The question is what's up with y'all? You don't trust her and she don't trust you. What y'all man? We are and this ain't gonna work, partner, and this really ain't got a damn thing to do with money. Fifteen years, you don't trust her, You can't count on her, and she thinks she won't trust you, and she can't count on you. Unless y'all get real transparent, real quick, y'all ain't gonna make it, homie. Yeah all right, Steve, thank you. Post this paperwork this evening at Steve hars over here this evening in this band. Also check out the Strawberry Letter podcast coming up to forty six after the hour, Sir, I'm going to be looking forward to post. Terry Crew says apologized to Gabrielle Union. We'll talk about that right after this. You're listening to This Day Morning show.

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