Stew and the CrewWe're the thirteenth pick in the two thousand and eight NFL drafts.
Karen Lanson's hand the select. Jonathan Stewart gets to Stewart, he leaves touched up.
Stewart oh rough tough right, angry man out at all those knees.
Stewart hesitates, accelerates. That's what I'm talking about. Fits the spass ball football contain Stuart cat running around.
Stuart jump over a tackler at the tenth flows up, Laura's his shoulder, keeps running.
No one will touch him.
Jonathan Stewart house is up. You talk about explosive plays in the run game.
It's like the fourth of July around here. Right now you are listening to Stu and the crew, now to Jonathan Stewart's and Jeremy Kelly.
When you take the field, I want you to flow down and think back when you took the field and you come to Carolina and you are taking the.
Field with Michael Bates.
Just so, what were your first memories being the guy that I guess you were really in the same room, playing a lot of the same positions.
So so Mike was if I were just if I was to say, okay, how could I sum up sum him up in one word? And what I felt like when I came into the Panthers environment was, Yo, this cat was was was formidable. And when somebody's formidable, you know it and the opponent knows it. And I felt like that's what he was. And to your point, I'm glad you said, like none of that is lost on anybody in that building. And whether it's the shout out to David Monroe, whether it's the beat writer, even like you said, a couple of Hall of Fame votes. That makes my heart feel so amazing for him because I was, man, I was thinking about this the other like this. When after we communicated and I was like, Okay, I'm getting ready to go on to the podcast, let me think Mike, I was like, Yo, Mike base Man, that dude was awesome, and it was like it made me feel I remember when I first went to Notre Dame and I was very unsure of myself because it's like, physically, even on fast I'm so small compared to everybody else in the locker room, and I would feel, especially my freshman year, I would feel not I wasn't confident in my ability to succeed on the collegiate level. So before the games, I would have like real high anxiety and or just like a fear, like a nervousness. And the thing that would calm me down was I would look around the locker room in Man. It would be like everybody I would I would look at I'd be like, I look at every guy offensively. I'll be like, okay, our quarterback Tony Rice, Yo, this brother is formidable. And it would just like, calm me down. Then I look at Oh, we got Ricky Waters, we got Anthony Johnson, we got Tony Brooks, we got Braxton Banks, we got Mark Green. These brothers are formidable. Calm me down. Then I look at our our old line. I look at Dean Brown, Tim Ryan, Uh Grooney, Uh, Tim Grunhart, Andy Heck, Frank Jacobs, these brothers, and then I was like, these cats are formal. It would calm me down.
Charlotte. Let me ask you.
Did you that When I got to Charlotte, Mike had that effect.
And you just mentioned another name, Anthony Johnson, who many forgot about a thousand year rushier here for the Carolina Panthers as well, right and run. Yeah, So I didn't realize that he went to know to Dame. I don't think I realized that Ricky.
I gotta I.
Gotta bound to pick with Ricky Waters. We can get to it.
What's what's that? What's that? Look?
You still talked to Ricky? Yeah, please put me in contact. Yeah, we'll bring him on the podcast. Because when I was a sixth grader and in Seattle, Washington, Okay, at the Kingdom, we got to play. We got to play during halftime on the field, and which by the way, I scored a touchdown. We don't have video evidence because you know can but but Ricky Waters pregame, you know I was. I was there to see Ricky Waters. I was there to get his autograph and spring and I remember Sean Springs walked by. I was like, hey Sean. He waved at me. Joey Galloway by, that's Joey Galloway, right, and then Ricky comes by. I'm like, hey you, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, can you can you sign? I had the little the pamphlet, another pregame pamphlet. I was like, Ricky, can you please sign an autograph?
Man?
He looked at me and he gave me this smirk. I don't know if he was going through something that day, but you know, I'm a pro now, I know you go through stuff, and I know like sometimes you just trying to get yourself going before a game. But dog, when I tell you, when he looked at me, how he looked at me like I was a piece of trash. I was hot heard from that. But but I'll tell you though, I'll tell you something.
He kept receipts.
Listen, that changed my whole trajectory. In that moment, I said, I'm never gonna ask anyone else for an autograph. And when someone and someone is in my is in my b line, I will always give that kid like some attention and sign the autograph. That was just kind of like my thing going on from that moment in sixth grade. And it's crazy, like I remember the very first time someone asked me for my autograph. I was in eighth grade and I was going into high school and I was at a football game and kid comes up and I was like, Wow, this is happening, right, But and I'm obviously like I'm hurt.
I was hurt.
I got over it, but I think it's a full circle moment that I get to the opportunity to maybe you know, clear the air man.
Let me let me tell you something. Salute to you. Thank you for sharing that, bro, and I thank you that in your understanding now you can see how it was used as fuel to work for your good.
Yeah.
And I'm going to do my best to get Rick on this podcast. Yeah, please, because man, it's like one thing I recognized about myself, and I suspect anybody in the family of mankind has can have the same revelation. I recognize that there are there were moments when I was in an a hole and it was in part due to the underdevelopment of my brain and the and the the haughty perspective that I had about what was actually a gift and it wasn't really something that I worked for, And those two colliding at a certain time can have toxic uh produced toxic fruit. And so the ability now to make atonement for those moments that I had in my life. I'm so thankful when I meet people who I've had toxic interactions with in my in my earlier life and they're able to communicate to me how I injured them, and I'm able to empathize and have remorse and be contrite and say, man, I please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I don't want that for you. I don't want that for me. I definitely don't want it for you, and make it. Make the situation behold, we're healing all around takes place because so check this out. I remember one of in our culture, Western culture, one of the most accepted forms of of malicious hate is in the sports realm, where a team that you know you grew up, you just didn't like them, and you can spew all kinds of stuff and people accept it. And I remember when I was a free agent getting ready to make a decision to stay in Carolina or come to the Cowboys. I remember I had a unnatural disdain and hatred for the Cowboys, so much so that my playing them when I was in the NFL, it was like a switch would turn on. And we only played them a couple of times, but it was like I would just like, hating on them was so easy, and so to the point where I used to wish guys on the other team would get hurt, Like I'd never had that thought before. But that's the level of hatred that I had internally go went to the off season and I'm a free agent, and I was like, I'm just gonna stay in Carolina, and I love Carolina so much. I'm like, I'm giving the hometown discount, no problem, I'm gonna stay here. All is well, dog gone. All the teams called me, and I tell him exactly what I'm essentially telling you guys in a different way, and they're like, okay, thank you, Rocket, and we're moving on. Man. Cowboys called, and I was like relishing in the fact that I'm getting ready to talk to the Dallas Cowboys and I'm getting ready to put them in their place and tell them I want to go, you stinking team. Blah blah blah blah blah bruh. Long story short. I get the phone call and Jerry Jones essentially is like, hey, Rocket, we're in no rush. Hey, you're the only one we want. We don't We're not trying to make a decision right now. We can wait as long as you need. You can talk to your wife, man and my dog on my hanging up the phone with Jerry Jones. At that moment, I was like, Okay, well that's I'll just have to keep telling him No. The phone rings and it's my father in law and he was a pastor out in Los Angeles at the time, and he calls and he's like, hey, son, what's happening. I was like, oh, yeah, you know, I just got out the phone with Jerry Jones just that and the other whatever whatever. And so I'm describing what the phone call was like, and I remember he was listening different, and I was like, as he was listening, it was like it was noticeable, like I'm on the phone, but it's like I could feel him listening, and it was almost like he was listening and he was hearing things and getting insights. As I'm talking that I could feel all that happening. That's the best way I can put it. And I remember after I was finished talking, I was waiting for him to reply, and he took several beats of time, and then he said, Son, anytime you're getting ready to make a major decision in your life and you do everything in your power to close a door and that door remains open, you owe it to yourself to see what's on the other side of that door, because, in short, that's God saying something to you. And lo and behold, this is what God was saying to me. And this is what I feel like the moments in our life when we were injured and when we've been wounded, that we we we eventually are able to come to a place of grace where we can be healed, even in confronting the culprit that that injured us or wounded us. And I remember this so vividly. I had a knowing. Uh. So we flew down there, came back, and I was I was angry because I knew in my heart that I was supposed to move on and go play in Dallas, come play in Dallas, and I knew that the chief reason was that if I did not release that bit of wounding, that bit of hate, even though it was allowed, it's allowed in our culture even to this day. That's the one area you can hate out and open in public and nobody rebukes you, nobody says anything about you other than the other team.
I certainly don't think you're in the minority.
And with.
There's there's two types of fans. You either love them.
I was, but mine festered into the point where we're playing on the same field, and I'm like, man, I'm glad, so and so got hurt.
Of so you want to hear.
Bruh, bruh all of a sudden, I know that's that's crazy telling your plan. Wow. So I knew this is the knowing that I had, and I was angry about it, but I still had to do it because I'd rather be angry and obey God than angry than disobey God. Man. I I knew that if I didn't come down here and go through the process of the healing and releasing the hate that I had for the team, for the organization, that what my call on this earth is and in this life is, I would not be able to fulfill that destiny because I was allowing a part of me to still be bound up by the hate, and I knew that I wanted It was almost like what you talked or we talked about early year in the conversation when I was afraid to leave the protected environment of Notre Dame to go to the PROS. But I was more afraid that I wouldn't be able to do something special for my mother if I didn't take this opportunity to go pro in the same way I was even though I hated to come down to Dallas. I was more afraid of holding onto that hate and staying in Carolina and you know, having my way but disobeying God.
I think so it's such as life the way you just described a few of those situations, one being having the mentality and and really absorbing what the vets in the locker room were sharing at that time about players versus the NFL. Two you having an absolute hatred despise it a football club.
In this league. And then you land in Dallas, and as.
We talk with you today, you are an NFL Legends Community coordinator working for the NFL, living in Dallas, Texas.
God more, he do it?
He do it right?
Man, I think I think that's I think that's incredible and it's a testament in itself.
Rocket How does how does one find that much clarity? The way you talk, It's like God has been speaking to you a lot. Has that transpired more post career or during your playing time.
It's the older I get, the more refined it's become. It's, however, been something that since I was maybe like sixteen months to two years two years old, I've been like hyper aware of the world. You can't see that affects the world that we can see. And I've always been and so I was. I was born a Muslim, so we were Muslim. My father we were Sunni Muslims. My father he was an l Hodge. He went and went to Mecca made Hodge. He studied at ELSR University in Cairo, which is like one of the oldest universities in the world. He became a chef. He wasn't quite how feastile couran, but he knew probably if there's like ninety nine service he probably knew like eighty of them by heart. So out my entire upbringing was spiritually uh directed, like like like hyper always been in that environment, like I always filtered things through a supernatural lens. And one of the reasons was because when I was younger, I used to have ah moments where they would call it a sleep paralysis. But mind my my moments and like I said, I'm I'm a like a toddler just learning how to talk and that kind of thing. And I just remember there would be very terrifying. There would be like demonic presence, uh there would be a presence like of knowing that I was we were being attacked by witches stuff like that. And as a Muslim, you know, and as a young boy, I would get up when when it whatever, whenever the terror would pass, I'd run into my father and my mother's room and I would say, you know, a bou yah, I had a nightmare, had a nightmare. And so he would pray and uh, we you know, we would rebuke the enemy in the traditional way that Muslims do. You know, when you rebuke and shaytan you say to regen and so forth. And however, it would just keep a current, Just keep a current, keep a current. And it got to the point where my father, you know, he's he's he's the first he's this yeah, first generation that came up north because my father and my mother, you know, their their people, my mother's people Mississippi, my father's people Georgia. So you know, after the slaves were free, they stayed in Georgia on my father's side, and then his generation came up north. And then after the slaves is free, uh, they stayed in Mississippi on my mother's side. Then then her generation came up north and we were in those generations. They would also have a mixture of Bauldoon spiritual practices that would appease certain spirits to come against other spirits, and so a lot of that would be considered witchcraft, and a lot of that came up North with us. So we started mixing a lot of that to try to get a remedy for what I was experiencing when I was a young boy. But like, none of it would work, and so I just started getting not that I got used to it, but it was just like I could tolerate it. However, as I got older, it became more physical, so I would be getting I would get choked, or they would sit on my chest, I couldn't breathe, you know, Like it was more tormenting as I got older. And by this time, my father passed away, and now we're living in Pennsylvania with my grandmother. And my grandmother she was down with the Lord in the most high God period like see her. My father used to always get in arguments every time we came to the house. It was crazy, and I just remember having the moments be more terrifying as I got older, Like I mean, I'm like eleven twelve years old, and I just remember after one particular terrifying time, I remember going and tell my grandmother and.
And take it.
Now, take your time.
I just said, uh, I said, I said, uh, I said, uh, I said, Nina, I said, this happens, this happens, this happened.
I explained everything. And so she was sitting there listening to me, and she said, uh. She listened to me. She listened to me. She said, she said, Okay, the next time it happens, call on Jesus. And I was like, Jesus, I said, Jesus is for white people. That's not fuss, What do you mean call on? She didn't better eye. She was just like, the next time it happens, call on Jesus. And so it's like my mentality was, well, I didn't know it, but that could be described in a way where they say there's no atheist in the foxhole. So I was like, hey, Jesus might be for white people, but man, if these dog on things come again, I'm I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna try to use them. So I don't know, a couple of months might have went by, it happened again, and this time, as I'm getting choked and I'm it's like they're pin You're pinned down to the bed. I just remember. I remembered the conversation that I had with my grandmother, and I remember, like the I just thought, and it's crazy because in the spirit, run your your work, your your thoughts are words, so it's a way of communicating, so you don't even have to speak out of your mouth. And I just thought Jesus. And as soon as I thought Jesus, all of them just got up off me and vanished. And I was like, oh snap. And I remember my mother was still a Muslim at the time, my brothers were still Muslims. I just remember getting up. I was like, Yo, this junk is real. And I remember I used to sneak in my grandmother's room and borrow her Bible and I would go out to the back porch and I just open it up and just start reading it. And that turned into maybe like six months later. We're at a youth group concert somewhere down in Hershey, Pennsylvania, at the Hershey Arena, and I remember it was a massive concert. It was this guy named Leon Pattillo and the arena was popped, I mean childa everywhere, and he gave an altar car. He was just like, stand up because there was so many people. They was like, you stand up in your seat if you want to give your life to God. I was like, yes, I stood up. My brother's looking at me like I was weird. But but but it was like the fear of what I was facing, like when you face Devil's man, that is not that's a that's a I mean, I'm older now, so I cannot not that I'm used to it, but if I sensed demonic presence and things like that, I have a better idea of what to do. But it's still scary. So it was like the fear of facing the demonic presence or the fear of my brothers looking at me with disdain, and like I betrayed the Muslim God a law because I become a Muslim, and I remember I committed my life to the Lord. And then my mother found out, and so I remember I wrote a letter because back in the day, you know, we couldn't pay in long distances, no joke. So I wrote a card. I was like, I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I'm going to pray for you something like. It wasn't disrespectful or anything. And so anyway, that's a long way to answer with regards to your your your statement or observation about how process things like I process everything through that filter because that those have been my experiences, you know, in this world.
So anyway, that's a beautiful story. Man, thank you for sharing that, sir, Yes, sir, thank you.
Hey, can I tell you one thing about Sam Mills? All right? So check this out? So we're in man, Sam, was you know what Sam used to remind me of And I didn't know back the time, but it's this the superheroes, the X Men, And is this one that is like a blue beast but he wears glasses and he's really high I Q intelligent, Bro, Sam, that you hear that?
Great, that's a great, great comparison, Bro.
I'm telling you. So we're we're we had We're in uh we don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me. Dag Nabbitt, the name stops my mind.
Charlotte Rafford word College, Yeah, Watford.
Okay, So we're at Wofford and you know, I my entire so this is my I think my second year with the Panthers. So now my entire mental and uh maturing and like everything about me like has been revolutionized. Like, I realized that I had a It's almost like I had a uh for for comparison, it's like having a slave mentality compared to having the mentality of a king. And I realized that even though I didn't have an awareness, I had a slave mentality in a football sense, and I didn't have the mentality of a king or a leader. And so one of the reasons I realized this I started noticing that every day for the first half of the training camp session, Sam would come running from his dorm into the locker room, put on his stuff real quick, and then he would run out onto the field and he wouldn't like it was like right before practice. And I was like, huh, I didn't think, you know, leaders took that type of approach to preparing for the season. And so Man, one day, two day, three day, four days. After a while, I was like, at lunchtime, I made it a point to eat lunch with Sam, and so I was like, hey, Man, can I ask you something? He's like, yeah, rocking whatever. And it was crazy. So, Sam, there's guys who have a in aura about them, and they are you can feel that they're approachable at any time. There's other guys who have that, and it's like you're treading on the nice if you want to have a conversation with them. So Sam was the first and so I sat there. I was like, hey, bro, I was like, how come you keep coming to practice like five minutes before it's time to go on the field. And I was like, what's happening? He said, Man, he schooled me so good. And this I think was his maybe thirteenth or twelve or thirteenth training camp or something like that, like in his career. And he said, you know, rock, He said, there's some environments that there's not enough time for you to change the environment. And I'm paraphrasing now I'm paraphrasing, so this isn't vert baby, there's not enough time for you to change the environment. And he says, what I found out in the training camps is when I come to the locker room at my normal time, he said, there's so many new guys, there's a lot of camp bodies, there's guys who are gonna be there, and every day the conversation is negative, negative, negative, negative. It's always negative that there's nobody who you can either sense a guy who's afraid. He knows he's not gonna make the team, so he's speaking out of fear, so that's negative. Then there's a guy who's upset that the coach hasn't given him enough rep so that's negative. Then there's a guy who's complaining, and that's negative. And it was just on and on. He said, I finally realized that it takes more energy out of me to prepare in that environment, and it starts to affect me negatively. So he could see that it was affecting his ability to properly prepare for the season and be his best self. So he said what he did was and why he came into the locker room right like I mean every day, like clockwork, right before his time to go out onto the field. He'd grab his stuff for a cooker boom out on the film, he said. He said, the thing that worked best for him was to limit his exposure to that environment and to the worst elements of that environment, and the worst elements were early in the morning, right before practice and right after the lunch and everything for the second practice, and he limited his exposure to the environment so the environment couldn't continue to have a detrimental effect on him. And when I saw, when I tell you, I felt like I was talking to Jesus. It was like, Yeah, you don't have to put yourself in a bad environment to try to change it. He said. Sometimes if you realize that if you're not making the effect that you want to have, and you see it's affecting you detrimentally, and there's nothing wrong with removing yourself and limiting your exposure, get in, get out and.
A little bit right b.
Bruh. He was. That was so amazing me. I never forgot that. And to me, that summed up, uh, just the like we talked about earlier, the way the team was built and the type of mind and and and in character that the guys that the team brought on had. Man, that that was. That was phenomenal. I'm so thankful to have had that type of like it was. He was a mentor and didn't even know he was a mentor. He was just amazing.
We we like to look at Sam Mills, you know, the Carolina Panthers and the culture. He's the pulse. We we look at Sam Mills as the pulse of what you know, the standard is to be as far as what it is to be a Carolina Panther, the key pounding mantra that comes from him, you know it is you know, you have the control here. You are the players are the ones that make this thing go right. And you know there's a difference between you know, taking demand and this and having command right And I feel like a lot a lot of veterans sometimes try to try to demand the younger guys and you don't get what you want out of that because there's no ownership there. And when you're able to follow a guy that's commanding a room that's special. It seems like Sam Mills is that type of guy. Before we go man, you know, with the with the current roster. Now, you know, the guys are starting to play better, starting to play some competitive ball, and you know there's certain things they got to work on to get to where they want to be as far as finishing and winning some games. But if there was one thing coming from a legend that was at the forefront of this organization, and we talk about culture, we talk about Sam Mills and where they where we want to be as an organization. What's something that you can you know, give somebody that you want.
Oh, okay, take your time man bruh. So I because the Panthers were one year removed from being an expansion team when I got there, the ingredients for on the field production that when I looked at it was at least a recipe for success, especially in that that that uh, that first year. I'm gonna have to say a couple of things, several things. The first thing, defense, especially if you have a young quarterback that has like potential for a high, high ceiling defense, it sounds crazy. Then the next thing, and even though they don't have that in this uh that's not a month. This next thing I'm going to say isn't a mantra in the current NFL. And in a high degree, that's a running game. But you can control the same way with the running game. In the passing game, however, you're gonna need a stellar tight end. And I just saw that with Kerry Collins and Wesley Walls, Like I was like, whoa tight ends are? Man? When you're a young quarterback, a tight end is a like man, it's security, Oh my gosh. And that opens up so many other dynamics of your offense. So and and it's interesting because when tamonga Biakabatuca went down Anthony Johnson, they plugged him in, wait him Wesley Walls, and then all of a sudden, it was like the receivers on the outside, It's like you got to pay attention to the inside. Now we get less attention on the outside than we're able to work on the outside. The defense was a three four defense, so that wasn't common in the NFL at that time. So it was like it took. It took opposing offenses. It kind of threw them off a little bit. So from on on the field perspective, and it's very important to be able to have coaches that man. Another thing I realized when I got to Carolina was just because the coaches in the NFL doesn't mean he's an NFL level coach. Like all coaches are not created equal in the NFL. And when you have a coach that just because he knows x's and o's, if he has to know how to communicate them to you and he has to know how to empower you to execute the that what fits you best. And that's a that's a mouthful right there. And I bear witnessed that for me, I didn't That's why I said, I didn't become a true receiver until I got to Carolina. And why I says I didn't become a true pro and the fact that I remember when we were in LA and it was like time and lift waits an offseason or during the week, whoever was leading our group, they would always say okay, they get the workout and they'd be like, Okay, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna do this, We're not gonna do this. And then I didn't know that I, by following their lead was hurting myself. I wouldn't last half a season. And I was like, man, how can I always get hurt the eighth game? I never am able to endure the way until I got to Carolina and I realized they put their philosophy for as a strength and conditioning coach. He put together something that was gonna help benefit my body. And then it was like, unless I had a major injury, I never got hurt again. And so I just coaching is the thing that holds all that together. And coaches who can communicate on a level where whoever they have, they able to communicate to them the best way for them to execute whatever the exes and o's are. So if I go down my list, I'm gonna say a strong defense, the running game slash excellent tight end, and you have to have for the NFL version of excellent coaches, and a lot of coaches can can can. They're their deficiencies can be cloaked and they can get away with it for a long time. So how you decide who and and and the coaching realm is gonna be best fit for your team is very important.
That's good stuff, good stuff, man, But man, Rocket, API appreciate you, boss.
Y'all have me. Man, but this is a roller coaster of emotions.
Back into the valley, back the good memories. Yeah, man, but we look we got to see you back here in Charlotte soon.
Man.
We love it.
We thank you for the wisdom too. Man. In your story, it's it's full of wisdoms. It's full of nuggets. So you know, to our listeners, to our viewers, and make sure y'all bring your notepads out and take notes because there's a lot of golden nuggets there.
Rocket win deep, Rocket win deep in true fashion. That's pretty good. Doubt catch it.
Let's go.
All right, man, still with the crew with rocket Ishmael. We appreciate you, Rocket sir, thank you.
Thank you for both of y'all, Man All Time and young Jeremy Let's
Go yeah, sir,
