Every morning the Half-Assed Morning Show is joined by the Assman himself, Randy Shaver, to talk about all things sports and whatever other random topic that happens to come up that day.
Wild winger Marcus Foligno joins us ahead of the big Game 3 at the X. The Twins actually won a couple ball games. NFL Draft (Fart Noise).
Everyone stayed up way too late watching the big night in Minnesota sports. Buxton saved his closer's ass. Most overrated player in the NBA.
Glen Perkins provides some Twins positivity. Entertainer C Willi Myles joins. Code Browns on live TV.
"I'm the best in the world, tell all the girls." We all need a nap before the next Wild game. Penises in the locker room.
We are pissed at the NHL. The Wolves are headed out to LA. Can the Twins start a winning streak?
KARE 11's Janel Klein came and hung out with us. The Twins are on the verge of a win streak?! You'll never guess what the new guy is doing.
The Wild finally clinched a playoff spot. The Twins are halfway to 500. QR codes on your balls.
We talk to our pal Glen Perkins about the continuing trainwreck at Target Field. The hometown gal Paige Buckets goes No. 1. Wild need a win.
Some folks on the show enjoyed the Masters more than others. The Twins actually won a game. Timberwolves got the most disgusting playoff matchup possible.
The Wolves won a big one in Memphis. Whizzing at Augusta. Who wants a dry HJ?
The Wild put a ton of goals up on the board. Twins finally win another game. 99 losses in a row?!
Marcus Foligno joined us for our weekly hang. Last night was a hideous night for our local teams. MY MARIA!
We talk Twins with our guy Glen Perkins. Janel Klein and C. Willi Myles joined the show. Charles Barkley vs the City of San Antonio.
We have a new goal-scoring king in the NHL. The top 10 all-time Timberwolves players. Fans aren't showing up for Target Field.
Prices of baseball bats and hockey sticks. Twins losing the Home Opener. Being bricked up.
Reminiscing on previous home openers. 9 wieners, 9 beers, 9 innings. Customizing your own shoes!
Minnesota Wild Update. Atlanta Hawks fan injured during half-time contest. The chain gang is no more!
Will the Twins stop losing? Mini fridges in MLB dugouts. C. Willi Myles is done with national tours.
Gopher hockey softer than baby turds. Bye bye Naz? A mascot in Australia got into it with a kid.
It's a busy effing day in the sports world. Breakdancing is coming to town! We get an update on our Spouse Bracket.
Does it help to take a dump before a sporting event? The Pimp made the Twins roster. The return of Leaf Blower Man!
We have our first chat of the baseball season with Glen Perkins. Janel Klein from KARE 11 also swung by. Our local teams got pumped last night.
We give an update on our running bracket bet. State of high school basketball my ass. Crunch time for the Wolves.
Someone's bracket was absolutely waxed on day one. Tennis ball budgets. We need new stadiums in this town.
We reveal who our spouses picked to win the NCAA tournament. The Wolves laid a deuce at home. New bowling league!
Brad has diarrhea. The play-in games gave us a classic in the NCAA tournament. Mr. Perfect had that sauce.
The Wolves got embarrassed by a depleted Pacers team. We're having a Grease party. Twins Opening Day is right around the corner.
We have a unique idea on how to fill out our brackets this year. The Wolves stay hot. Who is eating cabbage today?
Steph Curry continues to be in a 3-point shot class of his own. It's almost tournament time. New Wolves arena?
A Minnesota coach got gassed in the middle of the night. Can the Wild make it two in a row? Swearing on a live mic.
We chatted with our buddy Marcus Foligno. Ashley got some parenting tips from Marcus. Kissing your girlfriend through a screen door.
Swearing in front of kids is cool. 1,000 point NHL players. Rocco got the boys fired up at Spring Training.
The Wolves offense exploded all thanks to....Rudy?! The Pigs can't buy a goal lately. Randy is home from Florida T.
All time great sports rivalries. The wild made a trade. How to beat a drug test in the NFL.
Shaver is finally coming home from Florida. The Wolves stayed hot. We could see NHL history at the X this month.
LeBron becomes the first player ever to reach 50,000 points. The hockey tourney fires up today. Nobody wants to do HBO Hard Knocks.
Janel Klein hangs out with us. Where was the craziest place you woke up after a night of drinking? The Wild are out playing the Completely Unnecessary.
Jimmy Butler is a bad tenant. The reinforcements are coming for the ManBearPigs. John Cena has finally turned heel.
ANT needs to get his mouth washed out with soup. Strange days in high school hockey. Reporter wars!
A new report shows why the Mavs wanted to get rid of Luka. Shaver went to Spring Training. Is Naz Reid leaving us?!
We all share our favorite Hooters memories. The bad breaks for the ManBearPigs keep coming. Randy is going to the ball yard today.
C Willi Myles and Janel Klein hang out with us. The Wolves make history. We share fond memories about Flip Saunders.
Shaq is dead to us. KG coming back to the Wolves. Shaver is not thrilled with Gopher basketball.
The Four Food Groups hockey tournament came to a bummer of an ending. Death from Above Kevin Love had a great internet insult. No more Wemby.
Our old pal Chris Kluwe is back in the news. The Four Food Group tournament comes to an end tonight. When the hell will the Wolves play again?
Our guy Moose from the Minnesota Wild is back from his Mexican vacation. Is there a way to fix the NBA All-Star Game? Granny Shot free throws are so hot right now.
Shaver's trip to the Daytona 500 didn't go according to plan; Worst. All Star. Game. Ever.; Four Food Groups tournament is actually a lot of fun.
The Wolves crapped the bed against the Bucks. The pointless hockey tournament is happening. Who should Randy root for in the Daytona 500?
There's a new member of the 30,000 point club. Randy is going to the Daytona 500. Pitchers and catchers report this week.