Explicit

Jetskis 🌊 and Byron Bay 🧘 with Special Guest!

Published Jun 16, 2025, 2:05 PM

Have you listened to Dave's new podcast series "Slippery Slope"?

Special guest Mandy Nolan! Live from Byron Bay.

But what does Byron Bay have to do with Jetskis?

 

Link to the answer

Wikipedia

 

Thinking Music

It's a Make Believe!

 

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More about the show - www.nearly.com.au/somehow-related-podcast-with-glenn-robbins-and-dave-oneil/

 

Somehow Related is produced by Nearly Media.

Original theme music by Kit Warhurst.

Artwork created by Stacy Gougoulis.

 

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Okay, this is slightly exaggerated, but it's only exaggerated.

For comic effect.

Well, yeah, but when I say it, you're going to go wow, but it's not really true. But it is true. What happens.

You saved the life.

No, I nearly got into fights.

Wow, you're not really in it. You're like me. You would walk away from a fight.

Yeah, but you know I've studied martial arts, but.

You're on a jest. Flight to Barley.

I wouldn't walk away from flight. I would run away.

Yeah. Same here.

Yeah, but you know, here's the thing about a fight. If someone is going to someone who's drunk, and they.

Alcohols as a worst as someone who's worked in a lot of pubs as a comic, alcohol's the worst because you can't reason with drunks.

No, that's right, But if they take the weird thing is if someone takes a big swing at you, rather than lean back, you actually got to lean into it and then put your arm up because if you lean back, they might catch it. But if you lean into it, then you can get them the inside and it works well. If you lean back, then then they can just skip on coming. But if you if you lean in it goes, it goes, It sort of goes around you and then you go pop.

Right, which is see in our age group, we're not we're not seeing a lot of fights. We're not getting in a lot of fights. In your twenties, there were fights happening at paths and awful ship and you're just you were just trying to avoid it. But there was always one guy in the group. There was a guy in our group who just love to fight.

It's like why and he would, so you would.

He would start fights.

And then would they how would they end?

Not good? But because he was But this was like high school, high school. We'll be driving along like we were eighty nine and you go stop the card. He run and start punching over some guy Like what are you doing?

Yeah, a friend of mine did that when I was the's terrible.

Then what are you doing?

Then he hit the window and hurt his hand and blah blah, and it was just why why did you issue? The guy gave him a finger about something because he thought he cut him up. And he was in a Porsche. We were in a Porsch.

God, imagine that fight. I put it to you, sir, I put.

It to you. You can't cut up person. So he got it nearly got to the first one.

That's funny though you talk about this. A guy was on the radio other day he said, I've got two cars. I've got a Tesla and a two cabin V Who do you reckon gets the most road rage the Tesla?

Of course it does it these days.

People just cutting him off and give him.

The Really that's washed across to Australia.

Well, this is this is this is a while ago, this is before Elon Musk and all that. Just because he said it's an electric car. He said, you'll find people in you to get offended by the fact that it's an electric car.

What's what's to be offended about. I don't know.

It's not very much or something, isn't it? I don't know.

But but in the States they do it because because elm casben Key, the sales have fallen through the floor. If you've got one you want to resell it, I don't know what you're going to get a lot of money for.

I can't blame the person for buying the car, though it's on their fault. They didn't know he was an idiot.

I know exact I totally agree. I totally agree. But there's anyway anyway, first fight nearly got into okay, driving down the road, busy road, and the guys just throws his car into reverse.

This is your Is this the current story? Yeah? Yeah, go on, this is this is not in the Porsche. No, this is in your car.

Yeah, okay, so I should have said that. Back to my currently exaggerated story. And now he got into a fight. And then he's in a little v W or something, I don't know, some sort of little thing like.

A peasant car.

No, it was actually really it was an expensive small car.

I've got anywhere, go on there.

And then I see the reverse lights go on, and I go he doesn't know I'm here. Yeah, he's going to go for a car park. And he starts reversing, so I go beep, thinking he'll stop. He doesn't stop, and then he starts to spin and and I'm sure he's going to hit my left headlight. The reason I think the people behind you, yes, yeah, there is. I think that is because in the very same street a couple of years earlier, a woman did the same thing. She just backed straight into me, didn't know I was there, got out and said, you knew I was going for that car park. Why did you run into me? I I didn't run into you. You run into me, reversed into reversed into me. So I think this guy hasn't seen me. He goes to reverse. I'm going beep, and then I've gone the big beep you know when you get He keeps on coming, so then I do the whole beep, you know, and then he pulls in really aggressively, and then his window goes down, and I go, it's on here, so I won't go up. I mate, what are you doing?

He goes.

He goes, I was reversing into the car parker, mate, look like to me like you were going to hit me, you know, I know I was going for the spot.

And was you a guy your age or young?

He was younger. And then did you say?

Do you know who I am?

I know, I didn't know. I don't know. I think I had it well, And then I went, well, it looked like you were going back into me. Yeah, and then I went okay and drove off.

Yeah, good good, good work.

Both windows were down and he was fired.

He goes, what what, what's the problem, what's the problem made yourself and I'm going I will handle this with zen And I said, God, bless you, my son.

We are creatures of God and we are all on this planet together to help each other.

Well, you're older too, so you know.

No, he would have been late thirties. It wasn't young. He wasn't young young, but it was very much like I reckon. His beepers would have been going off, like he's so close to me, and he was so such an aggressive turn that he would have been gone. You know, when people get it.

He may not have beepers, depending on the year of the car.

I was in your wish car. It's that thing when you get a I'm going to get it. I'm gonna get it. It's like relax, relax. I just did anyway, So that was number one. Another one, well again, God road rage just to be thing on. Let them and where they go where they get people to do a story, and then they do a siren and the story this is the person in the audience, and they do writer enhancement, writer enhancement where they would enhance the I'm not enhancing these stories, no, but what's not going through my head? So I'm there down the beach yesterday, looking at the surf, leaning on my car. Someone I know not that well comes over and she says hello, Glenn, and I go, hello there because I don't remember their name. And then she introduces me to her friend and I don't know whether it's her husband. And then we're talking. We're chatting, we're talking about the surf, and he goes, oh, sorry, I'm leaning on your audy sort of inverted commas. Wouldn't want to dnt it.

And I'm going, why haven't it what you're not going to dnt it? Yeah? But is that is that a passive aggressive? I think that's called.

Because I go, what have you got? You gonna afford it? He goes, yeah, yeah, the Audi is that like European cars are flimsy? No, what is it? I've only just hey mate, I've only just met you, and now you're having a crack at my car.

I think it's more like expensive car. That's it. That's a crack at you and your wealth, right, And oh you got your Audi, you know. I mean that's the thing you drive around. I drive around in like a Volvo. And then when occasionally people make a comment about it, oh yeah, because I forget that to some people with Volvos are like whatever.

But why would you. I've only met this person, you know, you know, and it's all very pleasant. You're looking at waves, he's on the beach.

He's got issues, I'd say if he's driving like an old Ford.

Okay, so right enhouancement, I jump up on the bonnet going to a karate's stance, do a roundhouse and then land on him, take him down, put him in his car and go mate, watch your manners.

Now you should have said, so what if you got afford? Well, if you work hard like I have, you think any.

Two mates see, that's why you're good.

I couldn't. You wouldn't actually say that because because he may have worked hard, but it might have been in a field that they don't make much money, you know what I mean. But that always just amazes me when why.

He did it, because I did ask.

Him what he just did and what did he do for a job?

He does the things where people he organizers with the Council for road I think it was like the road works and stuff with them hold up sign and stuff, yeah, traffic traffic. I wasn't trying to outdo him.

Yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe maybe. It always amazes me when people bring up Des Dowling, who books comedians for gigs. They go, how much to get like, you know, whoever David Neiler to a footy club? Oh, that'll be like, I don't know, a thousand dollars. Oh gee, you wish I could earn that kind of money, And there always goes, well you can. You just got to go do stand up for thirty years like dapas and then you'll be making that kind of money. It's an open field, mate, no one's stopping you. It's like, you know, people say that kind of stuff, Maybe I wish I could make that kind of money. Well you can.

What happens in my head, I'm going, is he joking? Did I know? Easily? Didnted?

Maybe should? You're a comedy. He thinks he can be funny too. That's off on the way they'll be. They'll be funny to you, like they'll think they're trying to be funny. I reckon, and often their humor is a little bit off.

But I always reckon. There's a bit of pass. It's really wanted to put you in your place because you've got a card that because being at the beach with an Audi. Not a good look.

But also is he from around there? Does he live down there? Yeah? Yeah, Well there's another thing. You're an out of towner. So you're an out of towner, you're from the TV, and you're driving an Audi. I reckon, there's three things that set you up as like a target.

I think you need to put out an app because I should put my problem into the Dave o'nil app and he would come up with all the answers. You're a bit like AI. You can you can solve everyday problems with a few. You are your own version of a.

I always say, you got to think about their life and how they look at you, and so it's not it's not your problems to their problem.

And or look I didn't. I didn't lost any sleepover it, but it did occur to me that that's why I heightened. I didn't, but it could have escalated.

But you look at look at he's from heath point of view, he's working on the roads. You're a massive celebrity in his eyes. He's probably a huge Russel Court fan. You're there out of town, leading on your car, leading on your audie. You know, his girlfriend. He's you know, that's the other factor.

You are painting a picture, that's the other factor.

You know what the woman he's thinking, what the hell she's hanging out with celebrities down here at the beach.

Slap me across. That's the factor he should have slapped across.

If it was years ago. He challenged you to a jewel. I put it to you, sir.

He was a nice guy. And look, I hope it passed across again. And I'll do something patronizing and say, anyway.

It's almost like when you go to the beach, you need like a ship car, you need a wig or something to put on. And you know what, I mean, to have another alter ego like Glenn the beach bum, you know, like you know, like like a beat up commodore. You know that's me, can't you know? I just you can't.

I can't bring myself to do.

Anyway. Anyway, we should play the music. I suppose.

Welcome to somehow related now please welcome your host, Glenn Robinson, Dave O'Neill.

Anyway, here we are. I hope he's listening to that guy. Oh well, he's probably holding the stopping slow sign. He's having to listen.

I'm sure he's a very nice man.

That's a hard job. I reckon standing up on that.

All name pays very I know.

You know what I was talking to Doug Hawkins.

Oh, don't tell me he's afl legend.

Well he's doing the stop and slow. He goes such good money because it's often no.

He's not doing that.

He was a few years ago, Douggie Hawkins. Yeah, because he said all ex footballer is running them and so he said, yeah mate does he recognized, yeah does, but he likes it. He goes as good, you're outdoors, you're doing something a money yeah, just standing.

There, a bit of power.

He's probably been replaced by a stripper. But whatever. They do that thing here in I don't know if this around austraight, but they employ good looking women on the stop and slow.

Well you download to judge, but I must admit some women look fantastic with the hat on and they look great and you don't like to go. And apparently the people, the guys taking days off has dropped substantially since they This is that females introduced, not that they're going down and picking up, but the energy that they bring is very positive.

Well, I did a gig for traffic management people, and I said, what's the story with you guys? Yeah, you can imagine what it was like.

Oh man, did you like when people came to go to the toy with your hold stuff slow?

I certainly didn't mention my volve over them, but anyway, I said, why are you employing all these attractive young women? And the guy said, because, honestly, if you get a bloke your age hold in the stop and slow, the truck drivers will not stop for you. They just kept driving well, but they will stop for the young women.

He said that there's a woman at my gym who gets very upset. She says when she stops, she goes, if you've got a permit, because there's the permit version of that. And then there's the people who are just working on a house. They've arrived with the trucks and they've got a couple of stops there in the booty, and they go, we want to get the truck in it, which is fair enough, so they pull out the stop and slow signs. If you don't have a permit, you can't use those signs. I don't have a permit, so then it's kind of a way to get through quickly, and they go, really, yeah, but who's really haven't enough to worry about if you're worried about that sort of thing. So you do need your permit if you're going to have the stop and slows.

She needs to meet your mate down the coach with his forward.

Every time I go past you wave yeah, yeah, say thanks letting me Thanks mate, No worries at all. You have a good day. Always wave.

I'm a friend of the working man and woman. Of course, of course I could be back there holding their sign with Tagie Hawkins that other than that good money apparently. So we get two topics, we're gonna have they related. We're just going to get a topic. Should we go to topics?

Yeah?

Yeah, there's nothing else I want to you want to bring out. Sometimes I like to check in, just check in with something that's occurred to me, even nothing's occurred to me that needs to be well.

We're recording a lot of podcasts because we should say. I'm going overseas in late June, so see my twin brother because we both turned sixty.

On the same day. Yeah, miracle, Yeah, you're really going to jail I.

Know, well that's what driving offences. I remember when I did this gig in Bendigo for people that worked on the roads, and I said, and they were rough like they did all the bitumen and stuff, you know, and they were great, but they were rough looking. And I said, has anyone been in prison here? They were pointing to some guy goes yeah, yeah, and what would you do wrong to get in the prison? Goes ah, broken headlight. Now that's what apparently they say when they're just covering up, you know. And then I said, so you're the only guy who's been in prison. This other guy put his hand up and goes, I've been in prison, and then the prison the other Yeah, but you're on the other side, your maggot, Yeah, I was a guard your that's like, oh my god.

It's not far enough. But how did you do on the gig?

They are great?

They loved you great.

Yeah, because in that gig anything goes. You can do whatever.

You I don't reckon I'd be because they'd see me going to me evolver, But you know.

They were great. We had two topics, what are they Sam? What are they?

Jet skis? And Byron Bay Wow jet Skis?

I wonder what she's giving us those two topics.

We weren't talking about the beach.

Jet skis, I reckon Sam would like being on a jet ski?

Nah? Would she?

I could see the wind blowing through her hair. Do you have to wear a helmet? Were on jet ski? No?

No, you don't have to wear a helmet. I became a bit of a jet ski expert. Look at yeah. And you know why you of all people, I've never been on one. No, because I was doing radio on the ABC over summer. Now, what do you reckon? Is the number one topic that comes up? Those tents on the beach.

People hate them? Oh yeah, well they hate.

Were they called the cool ula bar? Cooler, the cooler bar?

You got one? Why not?

Because when we go to the beach, we don't stay for a long time. When I go to the beach, I don't want to sit on the beach.

We've got one?

Yeah, no, but you've got great little grand kids, litts.

We just just got two of the best beach chairs you've ever seen. And I say, put the whatever it's called up, get underneath there and have a little snooze on you. I used to not when people had beach chairs get so much better than long on the sand, and it's got to drink wholeer. It's got a head pass one. Yeah, they're not cheap anyway.

Yeah, because you're probably in a situation where you're going down with your grandkids and you're you're safe for some times, for some time with teenagers, they don't want to sunbath. My kids don't they're too white, and so we just go down, we have a swim, and then we leave. I don't really like lying on the beach.

I don't like sun baking.

It's awful.

I mean, I mean it's nice for about ten minutes. Then you realize you are doing something very dangerous to your skin.

But remember when we were kids, we get with Mum and dad. Mum would be there for hours reading the Thornbirds, you know, and then go to the dip, then go for a dip, and.

Then Dad reading a Power of One.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, no, hang on, hang on the Showgun, show Gun. Yeah, one of those seventies novels, some war thing. So I became a bit of an expert because we did a lot of jet ski talk and we did a lot of tent talk. So this is complaining, Yeah, because it's in January.

Hello Dave from my mentan.

Safty Beach is a big one safety beach in mal.

And they would say, Dad, can I just tell here? What would they say?

Going out? I'm currently in court. I can't talk too much about this is a court case between me and a jet ski rider and they ran over me near Mornington and so you get a lot of.

That is fair. I mean, god, So they're so dangerous.

They are dangerous. I talked to the police ahead of the water police. What do they say, David? I said, so, they are absolutely a problem. I said, So, what do you need to do? You have to get a lot, he goes David, to get a license to drive a jet ski. You don't have to see your jet ski. You don't have to own one. You have not been on just a fil out or form on the internet and you have a license. Yeah.

Not good.

So not good at all. And so there are a lot of issues over summer with jet skis going too close to people. Basically, what is.

The law the laws are around about is it two hundred meters or something or something something like that you're going to.

Say, yeah, and you know, thank god, where we go to holiday on the beach on the west coast of there's no jet skis.

Yeah, so how can we explain that to a rest Australia.

Well, it's more it's more an ocean beach where the bay beach is in Melbourne, like rose Bard, Dramana Safety Beach, they get a lot of jet flat.

It's flat water. So therefore that they get assaulted.

Now, well, you know in the harbor in Sydney they're all banned from most of the harbor. Jetski is a band.

Well you can understand why.

Well, there's too much craft on there anyway, to mean watercraft.

It's going to be like like if you complain about likeliss on the road that they get angry with and turned on you, We're going to have jet ski people turning on us. I don't know that we've said these nasty things.

But we're not saying nasty things about them, so I can't say good about them. Well, I mean obviously when you see.

People these recklessness, Yeah, they're like fun, right, they are fun.

You know have you been on one? Actually, Russell Court's out of jet ski.

I have been on them a lot. Why Well, because I used to stay up a friend's place up on the Murray and he had a jet ski and we would just take out and have a lot of fun on the take a couple of out there and really yeah, and you know, and then Russell coit. I did a bit of stuff on Russell Coy.

Did you have one ski?

Yeah, I did some stuff on the jetsk. I just run it round and round and then I don't know what the joke was. I think maybe I had to. I think I shot a dolphin. I think I can't remember where that was.

We're laughing. Well, so was it easy to drive?

Yeah?

Absolutely. I mean that's why that's why people love it so much, because when you're on a jet ski, you feel like you're king of the world. You can go anywhere, do anything. I mean, you can still crash them, obviously, but it's very fast and I'll tell you what, when you come off, you hit the water very hard. Well, you could really hurt yourself, but you do feel pretty pretty special.

One of the guys in my street I grew up in is in the air Ambos and I saw him over the summer and he said they go down at least once or twice a week to the mornings in that area and pick someone up who's had bad injuries.

Falling off, Yeah, because you're being hit by jet ski people being hit by jet skill falling off. Falling off would be to go through like a beach area fast is so irresponsible. You're being hit by a car effectively.

Okay, So jet skis that's a trademark. That's like Biro or Hoover.

That is I'm going to say. I'm gonna say it was Kawasaki.

Yeah, Kawasaki.

They're the only ones who make them.

Well, what was.

Before the jet ski? And this is a really I think what you said before do or something? Yes, she do. I didn't say they were different, they were different.

They were sat down on them.

Yeah, but you sit down on the jet ski.

Okay, Well you couldn't stand up on a do I think?

No, there's the older ones, which is where like James remember James Bond newsed happening Yes, two feet together, yes, yeah, and then it progressed from that to to the sit down like on a motorbike.

Well, here's a fact, because I did radio and I researched it. The same guy invented the sea who invented the jet ski. How's that the same guy's a Canadian guy called Oh, hang On, I'll get his name. What's what's hang on? What's Kenny's name? Shane Jacobson? Hang On, Shane Jameson's got a brother.

Stick around good, it's gonna be everyone's gonna go, oh, yeah, you're right.

Shane Jacons's got a brother called Clayton Jacobson, who's a great director. His name the guy who invented the jet ski. I'm pretty sure because I remember thinking that is a week o incidence. And Jacobson too, he's number two. How's that? What do we that should be? The summer related Kenny and jet skis? But Clayton Jacobson invented the seed. He was like a for.

Sure, you to your your point? Why are you surprised?

Well, because the seeds were like made in Canada. And then he sold the idea to Kawasaki in Japan and then took them to court when they wouldn't pay him or something and won the case. So he's a guy that invented the seedu and the jet scheme. I mean, what have you done? What have we done? And I wonder what he thinks. I don't know if he's still alive. But wonder what he thinks of how they've manifested themselves, what they've become.

So in other words, if he was at the beach, would he have a level of guilt?

Yeah, and I think he. But then again, he was like a motorbike rider. I think that was his profession. He was a motorcyclist, like a dirt bike rider, and he wanted to have thrills and spills. He didn't invent them for safety reasons. No, but seeds, which is that's something use for fishing too, the bigger Yeah, yeah, they're fishing ones. Yeah.

When I was up at NUSA a while ago, we all took the family properly. We all took the family to the jet ski higher park bit part of the river, and there's a section.

What happens there. It's just every bogan and.

You get there and they each get a jet ski.

Did you get a jet ski?

Yeah, that's why you go there.

Wow.

And then everyone gets there owin jet ski and then you just go round around, round round and round around. But they have governors on them.

What does it mean it cuts out or something or.

Meaning it'll only read out of a certain amount, so it can only go. I said that the guy. I can't believe it was me getting angry. They got into it. I nearly got to a fight with this guy. I said, the governor on mine was too excessive. Way jetski didn't go fast enough. And it didn't because I've been passed by the kids. When the kids go past you and I'm going flat chat and think he's going.

Your kids are quite little, like who how many jet skis did you hire? So? Did you?

There will probably have been about six of us. There was a couple of families. And then another time we were staying in Sunshine Beach, the guy who lived upstairs, who owned the apartment we're in.

That's a beautiful area. It's just down the right from hed Cold. They drive drive them in the ocean near there.

No, he had one in the in the river, and what he did it would have been good. This is a bit weird. Actually he puts slender now to think about it. He said, you want to come on my jet ski, and I go, oh, I know what this is all? You want to take.

A lovely woman?

And then but no, all three of us go on the jet ski. So I made sure. So here's the weird part.

Did you get in between him?

Well? There, I can't remember, but but you would think the manly thing to do would be to put Slena in the middle. Yes, because she's going to be protected either end. But then she's cuddling him. Yeah, it's a bit of a curb your enthusiasm. So I wonder whether I went, I'll get in the middle, and I would have hugged him. And it's always weird. Whenever you get onto a bike or anything like that, you have to be quite intimate with that person. If you're on a motorbike, yeah, absolutely, you hold on tighter than that because I went on with Eric Banner. I went on Eric Banner's motorbike.

Yeah.

Eric's talked about this and I had to really snuggle up. And I don't want to snuggle up with Eric Banner, and so I got in really tight and then someone opened the door and one nearly went over the handlebars with Eric Banners. All right, yeah, maybe told the story the other day. That's a good radio topic. When do you have to snuggle up?

Oh yeah, yeah, well.

Someone's when you go on a car trip. You get in the car and you go, I've got to snuggle next to you know, somebody take the middle.

Planes.

Planes you got, Yeah, you got to cuddle up, don't you?

Yeah? Planes, absolutely yeah.

And it's like it's it is a question. It crosses your mind, who are you going to have to touch bodies with?

I think the answer is when the guy above you in the flat in Sunshine Beach, you don't really know it's john to go my jet ski. I think the answer is no, because what are you going to get out of that? Like you've been on a jet ski before?

Yeah, But he took us from the river all the way round to all to the National Park and we ran Alexander Bay. He was only a click away from getting his gear off, because that's the nude beach and.

There's something, there's ulterior motive right there.

What he did was he dropped us off one by one and then took made us go fast. So in other words, Selena went out there with him fast, and then I went out with him fast, and then we all got back on all went back.

Jesus, what a day.

He's a bit of a bloke because he had like a big TV like that one there, like he won this sixty inch television and I go, wow, that's a big TV. He goes, that's nothing. Watch this, and then he had a screen come down over the TV. So he had a projector on top of his what's the point your television has already huge? And then he putting the projector over the top of it.

You know, there's another word I'll add in Queensland. And I love Queenslanders, you know, but they are very ausy. So all right, well let's you.

Know what I associated jet skis with. Name a character in the movies?

Well, Bond is interesting, Bond, James Bond.

Yeah, that's that's the number one for me.

Who else rides a jet ski on TV? Or did you have wind an up little bow and they had jet skis? Didn't they up a little boat? We kathink any of those? So maybe one thinking of Russell Coy. Also, I think of that guy who I love on The Righteous Gemstones and East Bound Down or what he plays the old baseball player. Here's a jet ski. Then he goes on this ship like and just drives around circles.

Okay, so do you think you're prejudiced against If I said, we've got someone coming over for coffee later Dave I said to him and you get I tell you one of joints us and yeah, sure, And then I say he's gotta he's got a jet ski and we what would you think?

Ye?

Would you like him automatically? Well, I just think out there, Dave doesn't like you.

No, I just I don't know. I think it's like but then again, what what differences between dirt biking or a mountain biking.

I don't think they themselves any favors in a lot of ways, with what the amount of noise they make and the amount of you know.

I'm sure most people are on jet skis obey the law. It's just that that kind of ten percent that are bad. Yeah, but it is a weird I mean, I love the ocean, so I understand being on the ocean.

So I know that's going to happen next time you'sim in the bay.

Yeah, someone's gonna run.

Hey, funny boy, heard what you're saying?

Just swim.

You will call this?

You know, was talking about Bron Bay. Okay, Barron Bay. First work, First impressions.

Byron Bay. I love Byron Bake. So yeah, it's a it's a vibe that it's beachy, it's it's it's one of the most beautiful beach of coastlines in the world. Yeah, it's The beaches are great, the surf's great, the people, the vibe is good. I think the only thing that you would complain about Barren Bays that there's not enough bakeries there.

There's a few, though I was there with you. It was a good one. Remember we went to that one with Peter Roslorn go a wagon will Wow, Dear, it was good.

I would have to say, yeah that when I went out for a bit of lunch, a lot of pokey bowl action up there. Oh that's right.

We couldn't find anywhere that didn't do pokey pokey bowl. Yeah.

And look, I don't get me wrong, because we.

Were we were staying in a motel a little bit out of town. Yeah, yeah, the only place we could walk too. That was just it was just pokey bowl.

Yeah, and I just felt like a bit more than a pokey bowl. I don't know what I felt like. Maybe it was a toasted sandwich or something. But look, yeah, look it's just magnificent. I've stayed up there, I've worked up there, I've surfed up there. What it goes beach is one of the best in the world. That Point Break is just incredible. Home to the stars, Hem's worst live up.

Dame was there for a while, Yeah.

Met Damon. A lot of actors move up.

There, Adams. I moved on run near there, you.

Know, so when you when you parafter correct. Yes, look, it's great. Some would say it's got too busy.

I've never seen a town with a ring road. They've got a ring road now that goes around the main street, kind.

Of around Byron Bay or around sort of main or.

Around the town center. So you used to have to go through the town center to get to the other side of the bar. And now they've got a ring road.

Because they did get clogged up at fair.

Yeah, during summer, it's crazy. Yeah.

Some would say that your Noosa is a bit more like your Brton, whereas your Byron Bay is a bit more You're like your hippie hippy. I'm not saying there's a drug element there, there's a drug problem there, but you're more likely to find someone yeah bongs, as opposed to in Hastings Street you find someone on poking ice cream in their face, whereas you're with your Byron Bay. It's a little bit more of that, and that's good for those people who want that, not that it's overbearing. Byron Bay is where I was walking there one night with Tom Gleiser and we were crossing the road. A guy jumped out in front of us and said one question, one question, one question, and I went, yep, what's your question? And he said, I don't like your TV show.

Yeah, that's not a question Byron. Well, I think it attracts a lot of people with weird beliefs. Everyone did the joke, well not everyone, but piled you the joke got vaccinated in Barron Bay straight in OQ. You know there's a big anti vax anty five G community, conspiracy people up there. I reckon quite a few witches and stuff.

Yeah. I went for a message up there one day, but backwards when I lie down on the thing, I'm going, okay, where you go? And he said okay. I started and said what are you doing? He said, I'm realigning your charkras. I'm going, what about the part where you put your hands on my back with warm oil on and you start rubbing up and down. Oh no, no, it doesn't know how it work. And then they go I can see we've got a problem in the kidney area. I didn't come to now worry about my kidneys. I came from a BackRub. You know.

There's heaps people that moved to bron Beto, isn't it from we were in Melbourne. The people move there, they only last a couple of years and then they come back.

They tend they call it the eight month real. Isn't it last about eight months and then you come back? But yeah, yeah they do. And it's surprising because I couldn't. I it has crossed my mind as well to think that I would like to live up there one day. But I think you're right. I think it's having the combination of the boast with you a bit of city life and you have a little bit of the beach life. I mean, unless you're involved with something, you don't want to go into the beach every day, do you.

You've got it.

You've got to have some sort of purpose.

Well, but I suppose in summer it would just get so busy, would be annoyed.

I would be really annoying.

Yeah, absolutely, just like and then you at school, he's up there.

Yeah, I learned the skin dive up there. Yeah. When scuba dive learned in the pool.

It's kind of good vibe. Even we did the comedy festal up there, didn't we.

We've done a few of them up there there. Bron Bay Kyler came along to see we see a quality stand up and Dave and me just waddling on there doing a bit of gold crap.

But despite all the commercialization, it's still good Byron Bay.

I still like it absolutely. I mean that pub is one of the best in the world. That bub We're on the beach there, the beach Hotel, Beach Hotel and the restaurants of diverse and the energy is great and you know so, No, don't get me wrong, the whole hippie things is very cool.

Sh We talked to someone who actually lives up there, because we're only visitors. I couldn't imagine what it's like to live up in Byron.

I know what you're getting it. You're suggesting I ring Chris Hemsworth.

Yeah, yeah, or the other one that liked you, Liam, Liam, That was.

Have I got there.

He came backstage and you didn't know who he was. Oh God, that was funny. Liam. He know who he was. You sawt of you but it's like he's not the famous one. He's the mid famous one, isn't He's not He's not the one.

Well, he came over, sat on the couch with it was it was Liam.

Was Hilaire lovely guy? Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, he's lovely guy. And we're going on very well. But was I embarrassing?

No? No, you said do you have a girlfriend? Like, did I say I break it up with Marley Cyrus?

No? I didn't say that. Did I say that?

I can't remember? But he just broken up with Marley Cyrus?

And did I bring up there?

And then you said where did you live in California? I'm like, she wrote a song about it, Malibu. Here with you in mala.

I think you've dreamt this.

That reckond that was incredible at night. He turns up backstage in Barron Bay. Then Bernard Fanning turns out from powder Finger. Yeah, I love powder Finger.

And then the chef from the.

Rest of the chef at Middle West husband, Yeah, from Voodemont, was there, Shannon Bennett?

Well done?

And then Pat Raft brings you ups just all going on has come to town, and then the famous Hemsworth sends a photo to his brother Chris hems sends a photo thought to Liam of him lying on the beer with a Russell Coit DVD.

No, what happened was the organizer came over and said, speak to Chris, and I thought Chris was her husband. And I got on the phone and said, Chris, what are you doing? You're waking. Why don't you get down? Tell Chris to get down here. I thought it was her husband. So I'm having a crack at Chris. I'm having a crack at the wrong Chris.

Was that Chris Hemsworth?

And I was leaving a message Chris Hemsworth And not that it matters, He's just a bloke, no big deal, but I was embarrassed. And then then he sent a photograph of himself in bed with a Russell Coy DV, which is you know, is that crossing the line? Not really, but anyway, he's a big fan. He's a big fan. And I did it. I was doing a shooting something the other day with a director who's from up that way and he said, can you do a quick video for Chris Hemsworth? And I go really, and he goes, yeah, yeah, And so I did a video for him and it was one of those ones.

Where can he do a quick video for me?

She said, yes, can.

You do a video for me?

I'll do it for him if he does it for me. Yeah, that's a good What would I would?

I just say for my birthday? Whatever?

Do you want him an outfit? In an outfit? Get him in an outfit?

I was, I was, I'm sure you're in the rustle court outfit.

Yeah, and you know that's I never thought of it like that. Well, yeah, no worries, but I should bring up and if you do a video for me because you're sixtieth yeah, yes, or.

Just promoting this podcast? Hey is Chris Samsworth here?

I love something that we don't do.

I love Glenn Robins podcast. Somehow relaid? Does he have to mention me? I don't even care, No, you should care. But it's you know, it's like he's a massive star.

Yeah, but they're just movie stars. We know, they're just blokes.

They're just they're just blokes.

But they sit on the couch.

Anyway, Lett, we can't get him on the phone, So why don't we bring up who else lives up there? You know who we've worked with before? Many Nolan.

She she's a Queen of She is fantastic. She is one of the life forces. I've been on I have been on a bill with her.

Oh my god, I don't want to follow us.

She could blow. I've never I've seen some of my blow and audience, especially when she's in the puddle. I don't know what she's right like anywhere else, but she is formidable and very very nice.

I will try her ring. It's exciting.

What would she be doing right now?

Surfing?

Surfing?

Hello, Mandy, it's Dave o' neil and Glenn Robins. How are you.

She might not remember. She remembers us, she remember remember you, but she might not remember me because the years since I've seen it. We're on our podcast and we've rung you.

It's not a bad time, No, it's a perfectly good time.

So, Mandy, we're talking about Byron Bay on our podcast with the one aspect of someone. I mean, I don't think you live there anymore, but you were there. You live near there, don't you.

I live in Mullan, BINDI with this, probably fifteen minutes from Byron Bay. So when we live here there's a Mullan v. Barron thing. But when you're outside of the region. I technically live in Byron Bay. I lived there for fifteen years. I'm probably the only every day I'm on my way there in the next hour.

Isn't it Mullin Bibi just full of people that used to live in Byron Bay and they.

Moved It kind of is if Bins a little bit boho, Mullum's a little bit hobo. We're a little bit more shoes off.

Yeah, yeah, you were telling me once. There's two Stinus schools, right. One was a breakaway, wasn't it.

I'm pretty sure that the one in Mullen Bimby broke away and formed. I can't remember the actual story, it did actually kind of create itself. And then they're both Cater twelve school, which I think shows you how out of the box we are here. Most places are lucky to have one Cat twelve Sinus school in a metropolitan area not too within this gen kilometers. You know, you've still got to go on a waiting list to get in there, and there may even be call for a third, which is one of those things. I of those parents that made dinoschool jokes, and eventually my kid became a dinosaur.

Yeah, that's a problem.

This has come back to bite me on the art because it tends out awesome education for kids who are completely falling through the cracks in a that appreciate creativity. Like there, I was making fun of their not wearing black T shirts. We only do rainbows, and as it turns out, actually a game changer from my kids. Oh, that's like me making fun of gluten and intolerant people here. For years I used to say I was intolerant in flute and intolerant intolerant, and now I'm gluten intolerant, so I'm going to have to really careful.

So look, so sum up Barron Bay, though the people like that.

If you I was going to say, if you were overseas and someone said where do you live, how would you describe Barron Bay and your lifestyle?

I would say we live in I would say it's probably one of the most beautiful coastal regions. I totally agree in Australia. We have rainbows for breakfast here, like if you just fart, there'll be a rainbow.

With a bit of brown threat.

Yeah, we're pretty well, I'll be righted. Rainbows because we have the Rainbow region. Like to ask that deep core of canterculture is deep within. I'd say it's a little bit hippie at times. Unfortunately, the most unaffordable real estate in the country in Byron Bay, highest median rents in Australia. It's a re like basically, you work at hospital and you've got to have four people to a room to pay for the rent to live in your eleven hundred dollars a week.

What the thing I love about Barron Bay is that it attracts a lot of kooks. Like whenever there's like glenn On Fisk played the Penis Painter, there was a guy in Byron Bay, wasn't it.

Yeah, I think that's not just a guy Glenn and Byron Bay. I think Kitty met him. Yes, my stand up he did my stand up comedy cost years ago and I had him come to my fiftieth birthday party and actually because he did comedy, but then I got him to paint people with his penis and Kitty was there and I think at the moment is I think your penis painter was born? Because I went, hey, I see the connection here. He doesn't actually he lives up on the Gold Post but travels down there for work.

Well, I should get together with him. We should have a bit of a penis chat and a bit of a comparison on notes on.

The center's last few methods. Have you actually because he puts a paint for USh up the eye of his peanut.

Oh he doesn't, does he?

Oh?

So are you saying that you're saying that's cheating or are you saying that's so that's how.

He signs his name. He does, because I've got portraits downstairs that he's done with me in the family, which is kind of weird, but it's weirdly accurate. And he just kind of gets his whole penis and he uses his when he actually he has to prepare the canvas with his balls and ask So.

This is very what about you told me once you went to a guy that he talked about orgasms or something session.

I did see a presentation I only would see here at once thirty on a Friday, and it's kind of a community center. It was called the Multi Orgasmic Man, and he did a and I went along thinking it was a talk and it wasn't a talk. You know, when you get there and the single mattress and like a like a saw blan crem with a handtop. You know about your infho a pretty will come out there, took his hats off, his wife throught up and one of his friends and they basically gave him a hand job. So if you get to the MALTI. But he never made it. He never made it to the Maulty because you know what happens when you get your penis out and a room full of people and talk about the multi organism, you don't get.

A heart on.

I know.

That, I know, and I'm like, oh, please don't do this mate. In the end, we're all chanting, they had us are really close, and I'm like I couldn't get out of there because I was going, this is really hot and to say his name was let's say it's Gary, and they're all channing, going I'm not kidding. They're pulling his penis for the multi orgism before they're then going go Gary, Go Gary, Go Garry, and I was like going, oh, I thought so sad for him. I like, actually, I just don't please let this be overfore this poor man, like I feel like he just needs he needs some reloops. And it's not the kind of reluse they're trying to give him.

So that's that's sort of only in Byron based stuff, isn't it really?

Look I don't really think that does happen, because in that same room later that night, I think they had a twelve step meeting for alcoholics Anonymous and I went, but I hope they washed the cup. It is a bit like that, you know, honestly, if I lived here, like I can go down the road here like the other day is in the Barron region, Mullen, I can go down the road and in the morning, like there's a guy dressed like a wizard, blowing bubble and you go on. You get into Byron, and we've got a man that hits his here every day. His name's Cool the Kay, He's divine and he does he has a pineapple shaker and a banana shaker, and he who were hoops outside the National Bank eight hours a day. Like he just does it and the sing songs about people as they walk past, and somehow manages to get away with it, and then he hitches home to another town where he can afford to live. I do have to admit I'm a big fan of our. I love our kind of got some people that are real, out of the box and that that makes it work.

Yeah. Do you think it's got over commercialized barring now, Yeah.

I think when I say other commercialized, I think that's what's happened all over the stray slightly seriously, is that when you have out of control rant like the property prices, you know during COVID it just super charged, Like our property prices went through the roof. We have the highest homelessness numbers in the city of Sydney.

Yeah that you see them sleeping rough Yeah, Yeah, it's massive.

I do a lot of work in community kitchens, et cetera around the region. And the people that you see turning up to that like they're people that I used to know in sharehouses. Like the people turn up to places better I jobs, Like there's people are so close to home listeners here if if you know, if they don't have to do a housing so but but there's commercialization is really the fact that commercial rents go up, and so what happens there's there these funky little shops of crystals and get your kind of you know, some wacky shops that we've always had the only stuff I can afford. The rents of franchise is they from here and you end up bought some of the you know, someone in the Barn Chamber of Commerce called they're called it a Mountdoor Westfield, which is the same the same up for girls super.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Then you get a subway and yeah, you don't how.

Many to go there?

Like?

People like the kind of funky shops, so it sill got a lot of funky artists in the area. But I would just say, you know, real estate greed is the threat to creativity everywhere, and you guys are truly unhappy. Go get a massage in the Colonic and think about what you're doing to play please you very boring, right, get your penis in some pain, and do something for the community.

Well, great to talk to your Mandy, and it's gives a bit of a snapshot you.

You are living the life and continued will vicariously live through you. And I love the idea of what you're doing and keep and and can I just start I haven't been up there for a while. Are you're still doing stand up?

I just retired from stand up to the truth. I actually decided it believe I've got forty years of being a stand up. I don't know what I'm doing now sitting down actually, but I'm ready for some reinvention. So right stepped away from the stand up mind. I'm doing a lot of writings and some painting, doing stuff like that. But I went Honestly, I love stand up, but if I have to go into another room at the fifty seven year old woman and try I feel like people. I used to feel like their mom. Now I feel like their grandmother.

Yeah, I know, I feel I did a gig on Saturday night for a foty club in the country. I like, how give you the granddad?

You know are missing out on a wonderful.

Did you get to that point where you go you can really do it? There's so many transferable skills.

But oh.

Well, I'm glad to hear you're taking a painting, but you don't have a penis, so that's a bit sad. Never know, you're in hate MANI thanks for talking to.

Us, Thanks Mandy, thanks for having we have a great day.

And what can we have? Thinking music? Jet Seezer is James Bond.

It could be very exciting. Barn Bay, there's no there's no is there a bar? And by is there we could I did. I did this a scene of Russell quit filming at Barron Bay when I that was when.

I got shut that off.

And I shut that off and no, I got dragged up the beach and I burnt testicles on the sand and I'm yelling stop, stop, stop.

What about a make believe? I mean, what about a make believe where you know, because only a jet ski? When does that come up in the relationship? Is that something that.

It's an issue? It's like I might would be. Yeah, if you're going to the football team, I shouldn't.

Yeah, if you're going with a woman who's not into that world, yes, you'd have to you keep it hidden for a little bit, surely. Yeah. And are we in like if you're a freemason or something, are.

We in it?

Yeah?

So we're not, We're just where are we?

Just?

Just anyway? I think he's he's decided. He said, we have to have a chat. I've got to tell you some Okay, that's good.

Can I'll be the man.

Yeah, we'll be. We'll be We'll be at home, yeah, yeah, or at a restaurant. Maybe at a restaurant that's a restaurant, Yeah, at a restaurant.

Well, finally we get to spend a bit of quality time together.

And lovely. That so lovely, And you were so nice to my parents. They loved you. They loved you, Derek.

Yes, yeah, I have that way about me that I can.

Love you and you love my parents.

I do, I do.

I think we have been going out for three months now and it seems like we're a perfect match. I mean, there's nothing I've told you anything about me that I like scrapbooking and.

You you've embrace that, and you're knitting.

You've embraced that, you hold the wall for me. It's lovely. You've embraced my four cats, you've loved the cats. But is there something?

Why do you want to love your tap dancing?

You love my tap dancing?

But what I've told you everything?

Have you told me everything?

I can't.

I just can't help thinking that you're holding back on something.

Well?

Is that the reason you've asked me out tonight? Derek?

There is one thing?

Oh no, I knew it. You've got another family.

No, it's not.

You've been married before. You've got a kid.

I don't have a kid. I certainly don't.

You've been in prison. I haven't been you murdered someone, but it wasn't your fault. I'll still love you, Derek.

I still love you. I know you will. I know you will bear with Melay golf, do you No? I don't play. That's good.

You're not a freemason. A freemason, I'm not a free wouldn't worry me one, not a week, any any of those things. Lions Club's good.

Yeah, but I totally understand. Your voice has got a little bit.

You borryed for Collingwood, That's fine. I don't care or whatever.

I did have a time at a but I don't worry for them anymore.

So.

Believing you're in a war, you're in the army. You kill people, killed several people. I've said, you've been in prison. But what could it be? What could it be?

I'm not sure how you're going to We went to Thailand that time on holiday and experience with a woman tend to be a man.

Was that? Did that happen?

No, it didn't, Okay, it happened to a friend of mine. When I told you that story, it was about a friend of mine, Brian.

You went from a massage and it turned a little bit weird.

I did not participate in that. I just had a normal stress relief.

You've got no points on your license. You want me to take some, that's fine, I don't mind. I'll take some points for you. Do not do anything for you.

I what I'm going to tay It's going to be hard for you to hear, but I think it's going to be okay. All right, I as we sit here right now, I am a jet ski rider.

You own a jet ski.

I own a jet ski.

Hey what I don't use it very often?

No, I say below the spreen limit? Oh oh, I'm sorry. Said I'm going to have a massage special one.

That was funny. I liked it. Okay, what's your guest? So jet skis and Byron Bay.

I reckon you can do something special on a jet ski in Byron Bay. I'm going to say that if you want, there's a place you can go there and you can get married on a jet ski.

I'm going to say Barron Bay were the first place in Australia the banjet skis.

I was gonna say that because they do seem like the.

Sort of community that would ban it.

Go and ban it, baby, and you know I understand that. So I Reckon, You've probably got this one right.

What is the answer?

Sam Clayton Jacobson too a banker and dirt bike racer who grew tired of crashing into the ground at high speeds and decided to build what he called a motorcycle for the water, inventing a stand up personal water craft that evolved into the modern jet ski.

Clayton lived for.

A long time in Byron Bay and died there in twenty twenty two.

He was eighty eight. Wow, you have been.

Listening to somehow related with Glenn Robbins and Dave O'Neill.

I wonder if there's a pluck up there somewhere like the home. So what is the Byron Bay's attitude towards jets?

Wouldn't be good.

It wouldn't be good.

Yeah. Did he let that go? At? Parties know that I'm the guy. Yeah, I'm Clayon. My name is Clayton. What do you do Clayton, I'm retired man. What did you do?

Well?

You know there's really annoying seacraft that you don't like. Do you reconally chose Byron Bay because there were no jet skis there? Because I can't remember sinking jet ski.

Because I could see a plak up something that maybe some sort of launching spot saying dedicated to whatever his name is, Shane Jacobson, Clayton Jacobson, I think his name was Clayton Jacobson. And to be a plaque and you get to put your where the jet ski was invented, that'd be good, that'd be a real tourist attraction.

Or why didn't he retire to like Safety Beach or Rosebud here in Victoria on the bay where there's hundreds of jet skis and he could just wander down like Hugh he f they were in a dressing gown and go boys. I invented this, Thank you, no problem at all, exactly. That's my trademark. I make money off every one of those jet skis.

Hey, Dave, do you see that beach over there? Do you see what I've pulled up for you? Jek Yeah, Maybe I've better go on one. Do you want to get on the back with me? Okay, here we go, Okay, let's get old on first. Ok I'm just gonna start it up. Oh that feels good? Or so that's throbbing between your legs?

That feel good?

Yep, and one two oh, you fell off the back of your fucking idiot. You meant to fucking hang on. Then again, I really want you to hang on. It's a bit weird

Panic because I've got a stiffy, I know,

Somehow Related with Dave O'Neil & Glenn Robbins

Comedians Glenn Robbins and Dave O’Neil are given two seemingly random topics. Together they have t 
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