Mute force. If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough. You're listening to soft web Radio Special Operations, Military Nails. I'm straight talk with the guys in the community.

Mute force. If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough. You're listening to soft web Radio Special Operations, Military Nails. I'm straight talk with the guys in the community.

Hey, what's going on? This is rad and you are watching soft rep Radio and I am the host. Yet again, you have tuned in to watch this guy interview someone awesome, and today is no different. I have a very very awesome guest to talk about. But first I want to mention that we have merch. Some of you know that already because I've been getting tagged on the internet at soft rep Mafia, So feel free to keep doing hashtag software ap Mafia with all the brand items, the shirts, those soft Reap radio soft rep shirts, the torchlights that we have, so thanks so much for going to the merch store at soft rep dot com. Second, we have a book club, okay, and a lot of us read and it's okay to read. It's okay to rob dog a flight with a book. And if you want to do that, choose soft rep dot com Forward slash book hyphen Club for your library. That's book hyphen Club. You come check out our books that are curated by operators people in the field folks from the CIA who are like I read this, it's like okay cool. So now with that said, thanks for tuning in, and thanks to Brandon Webb and my producers who always make sure that we go out and get on all of the platforms that you guys find us, including soft rep dot com. But today I have a pretty cool conversation to talk with a fellow American. Her name is Beth King. She comes from the Army. She was a crew chief on Chinook's. She was injured. I can get into it. Probably during some type of a transport situation. There was prey transporting something in a helicopter and she was involved in the situation. And I'm going to let Beth say hello to us. Hello, Beth, Hey, how's it going? Oh it's going great? Am I close so far? Crew chief? United States Army.

Hey, what's going on? This is rad and you are watching soft rep Radio and I am the host. Yet again, you have tuned in to watch this guy interview someone awesome, and today is no different. I have a very very awesome guest to talk about. But first I want to mention that we have merch. Some of you know that already because I've been getting tagged on the internet at soft rep Mafia, So feel free to keep doing hashtag software ap Mafia with all the brand items, the shirts, those soft Reap radio soft rep shirts, the torchlights that we have, so thanks so much for going to the merch store at soft rep dot com. Second, we have a book club, okay, and a lot of us read and it's okay to read. It's okay to rob dog a flight with a book. And if you want to do that, choose soft rep dot com Forward slash book hyphen Club for your library. That's book hyphen Club. You come check out our books that are curated by operators people in the field folks from the CIA who are like I read this, it's like okay cool. So now with that said, thanks for tuning in, and thanks to Brandon Webb and my producers who always make sure that we go out and get on all of the platforms that you guys find us, including soft rep dot com. But today I have a pretty cool conversation to talk with a fellow American. Her name is Beth King. She comes from the Army. She was a crew chief on Chinook's. She was injured. I can get into it. Probably during some type of a transport situation. There was prey transporting something in a helicopter and she was involved in the situation. And I'm going to let Beth say hello to us. Hello, Beth, Hey, how's it going? Oh it's going great? Am I close so far? Crew chief? United States Army.

Yes, I was a crew chief on the Chinook two thousand and nine till twenty fourteen.

Yes, I was a crew chief on the Chinook two thousand and nine till twenty fourteen.

When I was Mike retired.

When I was Mike retired.

Oh yeah, you were medically retired. What year did you go in the military. How old were you when you enlisted?

Oh yeah, you were medically retired. What year did you go in the military. How old were you when you enlisted?

I turned thirty in basic training in U two and nine.

I turned thirty in basic training in U two and nine.

Yep, Grandma, Yeah, you called that pretty much pretty much.

Yep, Grandma, Yeah, you called that pretty much pretty much.

Did you realized that there were seventeen year olds in boot camp while you were turning thirty who had already picked that course? Were you like, where was I at seventeen?

Did you realized that there were seventeen year olds in boot camp while you were turning thirty who had already picked that course? Were you like, where was I at seventeen?

Well, at seventeen, I'm an identical twin, so I couldn't get my twin to go into the military with me, and we had never lived separately, and I was I just struggled with the.

Well, at seventeen, I'm an identical twin, so I couldn't get my twin to go into the military with me, and we had never lived separately, and I was I just struggled with the.

Idea of leaving, so I didn't go.

Idea of leaving, so I didn't go.

Then I went to college and live that life for a little bit, and then I had my son at twenty five, and by thirty was like, I really need a better way to support this kid.

Then I went to college and live that life for a little bit, and then I had my son at twenty five, and by thirty was like, I really need a better way to support this kid.

I wasn't wasn't making enough money in the civilian sector. I didn't have a trade. So I grew up military.

I wasn't wasn't making enough money in the civilian sector. I didn't have a trade. So I grew up military.

So my dad had five of us little navy brats, so I knew the military could support us.

So my dad had five of us little navy brats, so I knew the military could support us.

Yeah, yeah, and you did. You got in, So you got in. You you really just pulled your bootstraps right up at an older age, like pushing thirty. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and you did. You got in, So you got in. You you really just pulled your bootstraps right up at an older age, like pushing thirty. Yeah.

I like to think that that's actually what made me so successful so quickly, is that I had already done all the dumb stuff you do when you're young. I was focused and I know, I left my five yearl at home, so I was like, I'm getting this, I'm going in, I'm getting the mission complete, I'm getting back to my kid. And you know, it wasn't I wasn't playing around. I was serious and uh focused, and all the younger kids were just kind of like first time away from home having a hard time.

I like to think that that's actually what made me so successful so quickly, is that I had already done all the dumb stuff you do when you're young. I was focused and I know, I left my five yearl at home, so I was like, I'm getting this, I'm going in, I'm getting the mission complete, I'm getting back to my kid. And you know, it wasn't I wasn't playing around. I was serious and uh focused, and all the younger kids were just kind of like first time away from home having a hard time.

And I'd already lived I'd already lived through that part.

And I'd already lived I'd already lived through that part.

So yeah, but by the time your boys five, you know, he's had you. He can handle you being gone for a little bit, and then you can come back and just reinsert right back in. You know, here's mom.

So yeah, but by the time your boys five, you know, he's had you. He can handle you being gone for a little bit, and then you can come back and just reinsert right back in. You know, here's mom.

Yeah, and because of my identical twin, that's where I sent him. So he looks like all the Yeah, he looks like all our kids. So no one the whole time I was gone for Basic training, ai T, pre deployment training, and deployment, he lived with her. No one ever realized he wasn't hers until I would come back to get him and they'd be like, wait, who is this, Like, oh, this is not his mom, you know, so.

Yeah, and because of my identical twin, that's where I sent him. So he looks like all the Yeah, he looks like all our kids. So no one the whole time I was gone for Basic training, ai T, pre deployment training, and deployment, he lived with her. No one ever realized he wasn't hers until I would come back to get him and they'd be like, wait, who is this, Like, oh, this is not his mom, you know, so.

It was perfect. He fit right in.

It was perfect. He fit right in.

He didn't have anyone pointing out that his family had been broken apart, so it was pretty nice.

He didn't have anyone pointing out that his family had been broken apart, so it was pretty nice.

I think I love your story the most. This is so just that right there, the fact that you like freaky fridayed your son, your sister.

I think I love your story the most. This is so just that right there, the fact that you like freaky fridayed your son, your sister.

Yeah, pretty much too.

Yeah, pretty much too.

Like here you go. He probably didn't even know you just transitioned to him and said.

Like here you go. He probably didn't even know you just transitioned to him and said.

He said there were moments when it was comforting because he knew it was her and he could just crawl up in her lap and pretend like it was me. But then there were moments where she would yell to him and he would for a second think it was me and gets super exciting come running down the stairs and see her and be like, so it was.

He said there were moments when it was comforting because he knew it was her and he could just crawl up in her lap and pretend like it was me. But then there were moments where she would yell to him and he would for a second think it was me and gets super exciting come running down the stairs and see her and be like, so it was.

It was both good and bad.

It was both good and bad.

You know.

You know.

Wow? Did he get to go see you graduate at the you know, at your final Oh yep, boy, Well, I know y'all are in uniform. Y'all look the same with your braves or your hats on and everything on your bomb run walk run. So I'm sure he's like, which one's mom, Which one's mom?

Wow? Did he get to go see you graduate at the you know, at your final Oh yep, boy, Well, I know y'all are in uniform. Y'all look the same with your braves or your hats on and everything on your bomb run walk run. So I'm sure he's like, which one's mom, Which one's mom?

But bro, I mean I was the short one.

But bro, I mean I was the short one.

Okay, okay, how tall are you?

Okay, okay, how tall are you?

Five three?

Five three?

Do you think five to three was beneficial to be a crew chief on a chinook?

Do you think five to three was beneficial to be a crew chief on a chinook?

I would have to say yes, only because we have one wreck. Everyone calls it the headache rack that our radios go on that everyone bangs her head on.

I would have to say yes, only because we have one wreck. Everyone calls it the headache rack that our radios go on that everyone bangs her head on.

I walk right under it.

I walk right under it.

Right, That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So my dad being a Green Beret growing up around Chinook's where he would jump off of them, he said his favorite platform.

Right, That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So my dad being a Green Beret growing up around Chinook's where he would jump off of them, he said his favorite platform.

Yeah yeah, it.

Yeah yeah, it.

Really is the best aircraft. Climb higher, fly, faster, carry moore. Yeah, you can't get a better aircraft.

Really is the best aircraft. Climb higher, fly, faster, carry moore. Yeah, you can't get a better aircraft.

I used to call them potato bugs, you know, the little potato bugs. I roll up the ball that you could like roll around on the ground and then when they come back out there walk. I used to think they were flying potato bugs as a little a little errand with Dad, and we'd be like potato bugs, you know, such a legitm Now, so I work in combat year. I saw a lot of equipment to people who do war games, and a lot of us have replica or authentic kit such as like retentions lanyard. So we're out playing war games in the desert and someone's got like a London Bridge retention lanyard hooked onto their rig just for the maybe a photo if it never pops up, you know, like did you run one of those. Did you have a retention lanyard on you at all times on a chinook while you're moving.

I used to call them potato bugs, you know, the little potato bugs. I roll up the ball that you could like roll around on the ground and then when they come back out there walk. I used to think they were flying potato bugs as a little a little errand with Dad, and we'd be like potato bugs, you know, such a legitm Now, so I work in combat year. I saw a lot of equipment to people who do war games, and a lot of us have replica or authentic kit such as like retentions lanyard. So we're out playing war games in the desert and someone's got like a London Bridge retention lanyard hooked onto their rig just for the maybe a photo if it never pops up, you know, like did you run one of those. Did you have a retention lanyard on you at all times on a chinook while you're moving.

Around, we're into the aircraft. So the length of your we call it a monkey tail. It clips in between the shoulder blades on our flight vest. And so the idea is, should anything happen or you get knocked out of the aircraft, you don't plumb it to your death. So a lot of people keep them like six feet or shorter because you don't you don't want that to.

Around, we're into the aircraft. So the length of your we call it a monkey tail. It clips in between the shoulder blades on our flight vest. And so the idea is, should anything happen or you get knocked out of the aircraft, you don't plumb it to your death. So a lot of people keep them like six feet or shorter because you don't you don't want that to.

Fall too far.

Fall too far.

But you can't keep it too short because then every time you go do your cabin checks. You we like, as a crew chief, one of our jobs is, you know, we checked the aircraft for vibes, like vibrations, check for leakage, check all the system pressures, all that.

But you can't keep it too short because then every time you go do your cabin checks. You we like, as a crew chief, one of our jobs is, you know, we checked the aircraft for vibes, like vibrations, check for leakage, check all the system pressures, all that.

So we're walking up and down the cabin.

So we're walking up and down the cabin.

So you can't have it too short or you're constantly bending over to unconnected and reconnect it so you can go a little bit further. But yeah, you're supposed to have that clipped in at all times.

So you can't have it too short or you're constantly bending over to unconnected and reconnect it so you can go a little bit further. But yeah, you're supposed to have that clipped in at all times.

Yeah, did that ever come in handy for you? Oh?

Yeah, did that ever come in handy for you? Oh?

Yeah, that night we were flying mission in the Peeshure River Valley and uh, just re positioning people, getting them closer for an airsult. They were going to run, and when we got hit with the rocket propelled grenade, it went into through the belly into we were carrying a John Deere gator, so it it ended up launching in the engine of the John Deere, which ignited the aircraft. So had the John Deear not been there, it would have hit our dry shafting due to the angle it came in at, and we probably all would have plummeted and I don't think any of us would have survived. So that John Deere saved our lives. But the aircraft, the way the air flows through it was pushing all the fire back. I was on the ramp, so I was walking out of trying to get out of the fire and I ended up getting right on the edge of the ramp and it was super jostily because like all the all the instruments were gone.

Yeah, that night we were flying mission in the Peeshure River Valley and uh, just re positioning people, getting them closer for an airsult. They were going to run, and when we got hit with the rocket propelled grenade, it went into through the belly into we were carrying a John Deere gator, so it it ended up launching in the engine of the John Deere, which ignited the aircraft. So had the John Deear not been there, it would have hit our dry shafting due to the angle it came in at, and we probably all would have plummeted and I don't think any of us would have survived. So that John Deere saved our lives. But the aircraft, the way the air flows through it was pushing all the fire back. I was on the ramp, so I was walking out of trying to get out of the fire and I ended up getting right on the edge of the ramp and it was super jostily because like all the all the instruments were gone.

You got fireworks.

You got fireworks.

I have no idea what just happened.

I have no idea what just happened.

That's awesome. As we're talking. If you're listening, she had fireworks go off behind her on her screen. Sorry, so you're crazy. So so that's crazy because you're talking about fire blown at you aw some firelight start having so you're on the edge. It's jostling.

That's awesome. As we're talking. If you're listening, she had fireworks go off behind her on her screen. Sorry, so you're crazy. So so that's crazy because you're talking about fire blown at you aw some firelight start having so you're on the edge. It's jostling.

There was a whole.

There was a whole.

Lot of the pilots ended up landing it manually, so we it's classified as a hard landing.

Lot of the pilots ended up landing it manually, so we it's classified as a hard landing.

They had no instrumentation.

They had no instrumentation.

Everything had been severed with the like the bundle of cords wiring took everything else, so they had nothing. I got knocked out the back at about one hundred and fifty feet off the ground, and so I just kind of dangled by my monkey tail until he got on the ground and then I had to climb back in and undo myself so I could get out.

Everything had been severed with the like the bundle of cords wiring took everything else, so they had nothing. I got knocked out the back at about one hundred and fifty feet off the ground, and so I just kind of dangled by my monkey tail until he got on the ground and then I had to climb back in and undo myself so I could get out.

When the aircraft aircraft came down the helicopter. Was it just kind of like a flat feather being landed hard, you know, like? Or was it just pretty controlled?

When the aircraft aircraft came down the helicopter. Was it just kind of like a flat feather being landed hard, you know, like? Or was it just pretty controlled?

If I'm hunchon honest, I don't Once I went out the back, I don't really remember much until I was.

If I'm hunchon honest, I don't Once I went out the back, I don't really remember much until I was.

On the ground.

On the ground.

I know, before I went out it was pretty jostly. It wasn't smooth at all, but it was. They were able to land it right side high, so all the rotor blades were like smashing off the ground and breaking off because they were there aren't too much of an incline.

I know, before I went out it was pretty jostly. It wasn't smooth at all, but it was. They were able to land it right side high, so all the rotor blades were like smashing off the ground and breaking off because they were there aren't too much of an incline.

Yeah, let me just add jostling to your medical evaluation. Yeah, real quick, attribute jostling there, Okay, to your rating. All right, Va, you hear jostling. Okay, let's add that. I'm just trying to help you here. Don't mind me.

Yeah, let me just add jostling to your medical evaluation. Yeah, real quick, attribute jostling there, Okay, to your rating. All right, Va, you hear jostling. Okay, let's add that. I'm just trying to help you here. Don't mind me.

If you need civilian math. I'm over three hundred percent, so I'm good.

If you need civilian math. I'm over three hundred percent, so I'm good.

That's awesome. Congratulations, congratulations. If it's going to be that way, it's going to be that way. Okay. If it's going to be that way, it's gonna be that way. All right. And so as long as your son's got school paid for now, hey exactly, which you're one hundred percent, so you're one hundred percent rated, then then you have all of those benefits that like my father bestowed upon me. In fact, your son could get track care for life, a good job.

That's awesome. Congratulations, congratulations. If it's going to be that way, it's going to be that way. Okay. If it's going to be that way, it's gonna be that way. All right. And so as long as your son's got school paid for now, hey exactly, which you're one hundred percent, so you're one hundred percent rated, then then you have all of those benefits that like my father bestowed upon me. In fact, your son could get track care for life, a good job.

There are a lot of things, a lot of benefits that go with it. Some way, I think the struggle for me is I've worked really hard to regain some of what I lost, Like the my biggest my biggest rating is my brain damage. So you know, I spent eight years in physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy getting rid of the stutter working on the aphasia.

There are a lot of things, a lot of benefits that go with it. Some way, I think the struggle for me is I've worked really hard to regain some of what I lost, Like the my biggest my biggest rating is my brain damage. So you know, I spent eight years in physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy getting rid of the stutter working on the aphasia.

So you know, I across a loud and clear you know what I'm saying A lot, it's been a lot of effort.

So you know, I across a loud and clear you know what I'm saying A lot, it's been a lot of effort.

I really appreciate you acknowledging that.

I really appreciate you acknowledging that.

Yeah, you know. I just want you to know. You know, it's not going to be an easy road to recovery. Rehab is like pushing to pain and then stopping and then trying to get the next day and the next day. It's not about breaking through the pain, you know. And uh so we love you. We love you as an American. I love you as an American. I just want you to know straight up you get nothing but love for me and everybody here, A soft rep just for you know. You took an oath to give up some or all of you. Yeah, that's what's up.

Yeah, you know. I just want you to know. You know, it's not going to be an easy road to recovery. Rehab is like pushing to pain and then stopping and then trying to get the next day and the next day. It's not about breaking through the pain, you know. And uh so we love you. We love you as an American. I love you as an American. I just want you to know straight up you get nothing but love for me and everybody here, A soft rep just for you know. You took an oath to give up some or all of you. Yeah, that's what's up.

I appreciate it.

I appreciate it.

And here you are though, Yeah, that's what's up. And I know that you're awesome. And I saw you flex for a second. I don't know if you realize you flexed, but you like were flexing, and I saw like a tat on your arm right there, like an eye? Is there an eye? Yeah? Check that out right there.

And here you are though, Yeah, that's what's up. And I know that you're awesome. And I saw you flex for a second. I don't know if you realize you flexed, but you like were flexing, and I saw like a tat on your arm right there, like an eye? Is there an eye? Yeah? Check that out right there.

It's good. A crew chief in the sitting on the ramp with some mountains.

It's good. A crew chief in the sitting on the ramp with some mountains.

I was gonna say, is that a Is that a weapon? He's like you see on a fifty or something. Yeah, forty, that's legit. Now. Now, now we're talking with Beth about, you know, her injuries and what she does to help, you know, kind of recover and you know, maybe heal from some of that. And and she goes against tattoos. Right, Are you into getting a tattoo at least once a year if I understand correctly.

I was gonna say, is that a Is that a weapon? He's like you see on a fifty or something. Yeah, forty, that's legit. Now. Now, now we're talking with Beth about, you know, her injuries and what she does to help, you know, kind of recover and you know, maybe heal from some of that. And and she goes against tattoos. Right, Are you into getting a tattoo at least once a year if I understand correctly.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I started when I first got back, I had a lot of I didn't understand what was happening. First of all, I had the brain injury, which it took us eighteen months to even get diagnosed. So I was kind of like falling apart, and I was really struggling with a lot of things.

I started when I first got back, I had a lot of I didn't understand what was happening. First of all, I had the brain injury, which it took us eighteen months to even get diagnosed. So I was kind of like falling apart, and I was really struggling with a lot of things.

But I love tattoos. I just was trying.

But I love tattoos. I just was trying.

I think I was trying to process and work through it. You know, the military has come a long way and trying to help you with or making it acceptable to have mental health issues. But at the same time, it's hard to go seek treatment because while they are making it more available, there is still a stigma there.

I think I was trying to process and work through it. You know, the military has come a long way and trying to help you with or making it acceptable to have mental health issues. But at the same time, it's hard to go seek treatment because while they are making it more available, there is still a stigma there.

So I think that's how it started. Was I was just trying to process.

So I think that's how it started. Was I was just trying to process.

My first tattoo I got on my anniversary was a phoenix on my ribs, so it was a bird of fire and I had had a person dangling from its claws with the with the tail number.

My first tattoo I got on my anniversary was a phoenix on my ribs, so it was a bird of fire and I had had a person dangling from its claws with the with the tail number.

Of my aircraft chests.

Of my aircraft chests.

So it was you know, it started. They wanted it started. They were all those type of tattoos. And then as I got further along in my recovery and I started, uh, this getting more positive, not just aircraft specific or incident specific, but just you know, it's been it's been a road.

So it was you know, it started. They wanted it started. They were all those type of tattoos. And then as I got further along in my recovery and I started, uh, this getting more positive, not just aircraft specific or incident specific, but just you know, it's been it's been a road.

You know, it's thirteen years ago, so.

You know, it's thirteen years ago, so.

You like it emotional. Somebody talked to me about tattoos. A friend of mine, he's an arty, He draw, he does tattoos, and he's like, so you want something behind each of your tats? Huh rat because I'm like, if I ever got tattoos, it would be this, because of this and this, And he's like, oh, so you're sentimental. So you're saying that you're kind of sentimental when you're like, what am I gonna get? It's got to mean every day I look at it, I wanted to I want to see what it sees, you know, or whatever the case is.

You like it emotional. Somebody talked to me about tattoos. A friend of mine, he's an arty, He draw, he does tattoos, and he's like, so you want something behind each of your tats? Huh rat because I'm like, if I ever got tattoos, it would be this, because of this and this, And he's like, oh, so you're sentimental. So you're saying that you're kind of sentimental when you're like, what am I gonna get? It's got to mean every day I look at it, I wanted to I want to see what it sees, you know, or whatever the case is.

If you look at all my tattoos in line, it's a story of my recovery. One of my tattoos actually is actually exactly my story of the incident. I went through prolonged exposure therapy and we had to record our story and I printed it. I threw it through an audioalizer and I printed it out, so it's just my sound waves of my story. And I have a tattooed from my right hip all the way down to halfway down my shint. It is a yeah, it's like over eleven feet long.

If you look at all my tattoos in line, it's a story of my recovery. One of my tattoos actually is actually exactly my story of the incident. I went through prolonged exposure therapy and we had to record our story and I printed it. I threw it through an audioalizer and I printed it out, so it's just my sound waves of my story. And I have a tattooed from my right hip all the way down to halfway down my shint. It is a yeah, it's like over eleven feet long.

Oh my gosh, yeah it was.

Oh my gosh, yeah it was.

It was insane that but you know.

It was insane that but you know.

But all of that's a lot of lines. That's a lot of lines going in your skin. That's like.

But all of that's a lot of lines. That's a lot of lines going in your skin. That's like.

Over five hours of tattooing.

Over five hours of tattooing.

Oh yeah, that's commitment right there.

Oh yeah, that's commitment right there.

Yeah, that was the That was the tattoo that I found my limit.

Yeah, that was the That was the tattoo that I found my limit.

But I know, I don't I don't get tattooed if it's gonna be over four hours.

But I know, I don't I don't get tattooed if it's gonna be over four hours.

I break it into two sessions.

I break it into two sessions.

I could do three and a half like nothing, but get that hour four and I started getting cranky.

I could do three and a half like nothing, but get that hour four and I started getting cranky.

You're like little blood sugar I want to.

You're like little blood sugar I want to.

Strangle people and want to hurry up, but I wanted to.

Strangle people and want to hurry up, but I wanted to.

Look for it, and they're just like pushing a little harder. Are you sure you want me to keep going? Are you sure they have a date that night? You know, they're like pushing on the patient or the skin a little bit more. Now, that's awesome. Yeah, these guys are trying to, uh get me to get a tattoo of some things with them together. They're like, let's get it together tattoo. Yeah, I still want words and letters. I don't know it's me, but one of these days I'll get something. I think, I think, I think.

Look for it, and they're just like pushing a little harder. Are you sure you want me to keep going? Are you sure they have a date that night? You know, they're like pushing on the patient or the skin a little bit more. Now, that's awesome. Yeah, these guys are trying to, uh get me to get a tattoo of some things with them together. They're like, let's get it together tattoo. Yeah, I still want words and letters. I don't know it's me, but one of these days I'll get something. I think, I think, I think.

Yeah, for me, it's they all tell a story. Like for my first tattoo, when I was eighteen and I got my first tattoo, I got it with my twin sister, so she got thing one because she was born first.

Yeah, for me, it's they all tell a story. Like for my first tattoo, when I was eighteen and I got my first tattoo, I got it with my twin sister, so she got thing one because she was born first.

I got think too.

I got think too.

And they're running and they're running in opposite directions, but the kites come back so that when we stand next to each other, our kites are touching.

And they're running and they're running in opposite directions, but the kites come back so that when we stand next to each other, our kites are touching.

But you know, because we knew life was eventually going to have to split us up.

But you know, because we knew life was eventually going to have to split us up.

Yeah, it was just kind of symbolic that we have this connection, which is true.

Yeah, it was just kind of symbolic that we have this connection, which is true.

I mean we are closer probably than any of my other siblings.

I mean we are closer probably than any of my other siblings.

Did she go the route of like law enforcement, firefighter, E M T or anything like that.

Did she go the route of like law enforcement, firefighter, E M T or anything like that.

No, she is right now, she is a er tech. But during during her husband actually joined the military before for me, and I was nervous about joining because of my five year old son. I was like, I'm not sure I can do this, and he really encouraged me. And then she's like, look, we'll be here for you.

No, she is right now, she is a er tech. But during during her husband actually joined the military before for me, and I was nervous about joining because of my five year old son. I was like, I'm not sure I can do this, and he really encouraged me. And then she's like, look, we'll be here for you.

We will help you make this happen.

We will help you make this happen.

You know.

You know.

I was a single parent at the time, so I was really nervous about joining and leaving him behind.

I was a single parent at the time, so I was really nervous about joining and leaving him behind.

So probably if it wasn't for her.

So probably if it wasn't for her.

And her husband, I may not have ever joined, just because it was It was a hard It was hard with a.

And her husband, I may not have ever joined, just because it was It was a hard It was hard with a.

Five year old.

Five year old.

They have to somebody has to be responsible for your child while you're in boot camp, Like you have to sign paper saying that my son or my daughters are good in this position.

They have to somebody has to be responsible for your child while you're in boot camp, Like you have to sign paper saying that my son or my daughters are good in this position.

Like and then any time I went for training or deployment, I had to have like a line of procession, like so my son is staying with this person. If something happens to them, then he goes here. If something happens. So it was like it was really like a I mean, it's good to have the plan, but at the same time, it was kind of like, man, you know, what has to happen for him to end up with the fourth person?

Like and then any time I went for training or deployment, I had to have like a line of procession, like so my son is staying with this person. If something happens to them, then he goes here. If something happens. So it was like it was really like a I mean, it's good to have the plan, but at the same time, it was kind of like, man, you know, what has to happen for him to end up with the fourth person?

Tragedy tragedy tragedy tragedy?

Tragedy tragedy tragedy tragedy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's like, you know, at nineteen seventeen, nineteen or almost thirty, you're writing your will. You know what I'm saying, it really is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's like, you know, at nineteen seventeen, nineteen or almost thirty, you're writing your will. You know what I'm saying, it really is.

Ye, that was hard.

Ye, that was hard.

You know, hey, don't forget sign on the SLGI, you know, don't forget your life insurance and who that's going to go to, your mama or your daddy or your girlfriend or whatever whoever it is. It's just how it is. You know, you are now writing like to human make concern. You took that off well when you got the rock and repel grenade to what year was this going on when that aircraft It.

You know, hey, don't forget sign on the SLGI, you know, don't forget your life insurance and who that's going to go to, your mama or your daddy or your girlfriend or whatever whoever it is. It's just how it is. You know, you are now writing like to human make concern. You took that off well when you got the rock and repel grenade to what year was this going on when that aircraft It.

Was July of twenty and eleven.

Was July of twenty and eleven.

Yeah, so it's popping off this Afghanistan.

Yeah, so it's popping off this Afghanistan.

Yep, yeah, Afghanistan. We were r ceast and the mission was in the Peishu River Valley. We were flying into Nagalomnag A.

Yep, yeah, Afghanistan. We were r ceast and the mission was in the Peishu River Valley. We were flying into Nagalomnag A.

Lot of FARPs out there right for you guys, Ford Air Base refueling bases.

Lot of FARPs out there right for you guys, Ford Air Base refueling bases.

There were a few. I wouldn't say, we didn't really well.

There were a few. I wouldn't say, we didn't really well.

A lot of times we set up the FARPs because or chinooks, so we would bring the X the extended ranges and we'd run them. But really most of our missions were between fobs, and a lot of the fobs the Ford operation basis would also have a gas station for us, so we ransom FARPs, but we didn't really we never fuel let them.

A lot of times we set up the FARPs because or chinooks, so we would bring the X the extended ranges and we'd run them. But really most of our missions were between fobs, and a lot of the fobs the Ford operation basis would also have a gas station for us, so we ransom FARPs, but we didn't really we never fuel let them.

You just set them up or load up because you guys can halt so much like what's the weight capacity of a chinook? It can take?

You just set them up or load up because you guys can halt so much like what's the weight capacity of a chinook? It can take?

Oh man, my fee would kill me right now because of brain damage. Brain damage. It's a lot.

Oh man, my fee would kill me right now because of brain damage. Brain damage. It's a lot.

No, it's okay, I see. It could take a Zodiac boat and a bunch.

No, it's okay, I see. It could take a Zodiac boat and a bunch.

Of twenty six thousand externally if we use both hooks. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's it's insane because we have we have three hooks on there, so you could go just center hook or acting Ford together. I mean all kinds of configurations. You know, you can get a hum V inside of chinook.

Of twenty six thousand externally if we use both hooks. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's it's insane because we have we have three hooks on there, so you could go just center hook or acting Ford together. I mean all kinds of configurations. You know, you can get a hum V inside of chinook.

Yeah no, And that's what I was gonna ask, right, plus some troops to go along with that.

Yeah no, And that's what I was gonna ask, right, plus some troops to go along with that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like if we're just carrying troops thirty one thirty one pack and then only the center aisle is just all their gear.

Yeah, it's like if we're just carrying troops thirty one thirty one pack and then only the center aisle is just all their gear.

So it can haul.

So it can haul.

They can and and it can it can fly. I've seen some videos of the chinks just like coming in super low. You know, we're just like right off the deck.

They can and and it can it can fly. I've seen some videos of the chinks just like coming in super low. You know, we're just like right off the deck.

Yeah, it is, it is. It is a funny aircraft.

Yeah, it is, it is. It is a funny aircraft.

Yeah. It can bank and it can do a three sixty.

Yeah. It can bank and it can do a three sixty.

Right, I don't know about I've never been anyone who's done at three sixty.

Right, I don't know about I've never been anyone who's done at three sixty.

It can bank.

It can bank.

And an auto rotate. It has enough power that you can turn the engines off. It can come in for a landing, touchdown, pull back up, do a one eighty, and land again, all on just the drive of the propellers of the rotors.

And an auto rotate. It has enough power that you can turn the engines off. It can come in for a landing, touchdown, pull back up, do a one eighty, and land again, all on just the drive of the propellers of the rotors.

Yeah, that's gnarly.

Yeah, that's gnarly.

Yeah, it's insane. It's an amazing aircraft.

Yeah, it's insane. It's an amazing aircraft.

And are you are you weapons qualified on what's going down on the vehicle as a crew chief? Are you able to get to the two forty? Is that you?

And are you are you weapons qualified on what's going down on the vehicle as a crew chief? Are you able to get to the two forty? Is that you?

Yeah? Yeah?

Yeah? Yeah?

The door?

The door?

Have we have a there was a two forty on the ramp and one in the cabin door and one in the left side window.

Have we have a there was a two forty on the ramp and one in the cabin door and one in the left side window.

So the gunner. The usually is not aircraft qualified. They could be any ms.

So the gunner. The usually is not aircraft qualified. They could be any ms.

We just they sit in the left, they clear us left, and they shoot the crew. Then there's a crew chief and a flight engineer, So the flight engineer is UH in charge basically, and they can either be at the cabin door or the ramp, and the crew.

We just they sit in the left, they clear us left, and they shoot the crew. Then there's a crew chief and a flight engineer, So the flight engineer is UH in charge basically, and they can either be at the cabin door or the ramp, and the crew.

Chief will either be at the other location.

Chief will either be at the other location.

So in in in country, in Afghanistan or Iraq or wherever we are, it takes three members in the back of the aircraft plus the two pilots. Here in the US it needs UH two back enders and two pilots, so we don't need.

So in in in country, in Afghanistan or Iraq or wherever we are, it takes three members in the back of the aircraft plus the two pilots. Here in the US it needs UH two back enders and two pilots, so we don't need.

A gunner in the US.

A gunner in the US.

But yeah, well without a crew.

But yeah, well without a crew.

Chief and a flight engineer.

Chief and a flight engineer.

So flight engineer takes president over everybody on the aircraft like they are in control right, and then it would go to.

So flight engineer takes president over everybody on the aircraft like they are in control right, and then it would go to.

You as first back enders. Yes, yeah, it's weird.

You as first back enders. Yes, yeah, it's weird.

It's weird because the pilots are The pilots have to clear movement through us right because they can only see to their back right. The aircraft is so long, there's no windows for them to look at like. They have very limited view, so if they want to go left, right, up or down, they have to call over the radio, Am I clear left? Am I clear up? Am I clear down? And then they have to wait for us to respond before moving. So it really is more of a team atmosphere and crew coordination. It's not really any one person really truly in charge. And at the end of the night, when the roads stopped turning, it's very much pilots piloting, piloting demand, you know, and then it goes downhill, right, So while roads are turning and we're in the air, it is very.

It's weird because the pilots are The pilots have to clear movement through us right because they can only see to their back right. The aircraft is so long, there's no windows for them to look at like. They have very limited view, so if they want to go left, right, up or down, they have to call over the radio, Am I clear left? Am I clear up? Am I clear down? And then they have to wait for us to respond before moving. So it really is more of a team atmosphere and crew coordination. It's not really any one person really truly in charge. And at the end of the night, when the roads stopped turning, it's very much pilots piloting, piloting demand, you know, and then it goes downhill, right, So while roads are turning and we're in the air, it is very.

Much everyone depends on everyone because.

Much everyone depends on everyone because.

They they can't they could, they could want to come down, and I can tell them they can't. They have to come forward or they have to come here, and they have to do what is being asked of them because they can't see what I see. And it really is about trying to avoid, you know, bad outcomes that are everybody.

They they can't they could, they could want to come down, and I can tell them they can't. They have to come forward or they have to come here, and they have to do what is being asked of them because they can't see what I see. And it really is about trying to avoid, you know, bad outcomes that are everybody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You are literally hanging out probably the side of it. If there's a door, looking looking down, watching cables coming up, watching baskets, whatever, you're like, left left aft, aft, you know what we're doing.

You are literally hanging out probably the side of it. If there's a door, looking looking down, watching cables coming up, watching baskets, whatever, you're like, left left aft, aft, you know what we're doing.

If we're doing slingload operations, then either the crew tree or the flight engineer actually could most likely be hanging out of the hell hole where the Middleicina focus. There's a hole on the floor. A lot of times we're hanging from our waist up out of that hole to line it up. So yeah, yeah, it's a lot of fun.

If we're doing slingload operations, then either the crew tree or the flight engineer actually could most likely be hanging out of the hell hole where the Middleicina focus. There's a hole on the floor. A lot of times we're hanging from our waist up out of that hole to line it up. So yeah, yeah, it's a lot of fun.

Times hit a lot of good bro that's like, oh nine, So your son was five, today's twenty twenty four. So now your sounds like what fifteen? Almost? How's your son? Shut the hell up about it? Math listen. So you must think mobs the ship.

Times hit a lot of good bro that's like, oh nine, So your son was five, today's twenty twenty four. So now your sounds like what fifteen? Almost? How's your son? Shut the hell up about it? Math listen. So you must think mobs the ship.

Uh yeah, I mean.

Uh yeah, I mean.

I think so.

I think so.

He tells people all the time. I mean, I don't it sounds it sounds.

He tells people all the time. I mean, I don't it sounds it sounds.

A it does.

A it does.

Got a big head. But yes, yeah, he's very proud of me.

Got a big head. But yes, yeah, he's very proud of me.

Yes, I'm very proud of you. No, it's badass. You're badass. That's bad ass. We get people on the show all the time and everybody's rockstar and you just shine. It's just like bam, you know. Uh, I know that we're supposed to talk about tattoos and all that, but you're a rock star. Okay, So whether you were in a chinook or on a stage, you're a rock star wherever you're going. That's why you know that. I feel it. I get it. I have a lot of people. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, what's your next tattoo? When is that? What's the date? What's the anniversary that you know the RPG went into your job.

Yes, I'm very proud of you. No, it's badass. You're badass. That's bad ass. We get people on the show all the time and everybody's rockstar and you just shine. It's just like bam, you know. Uh, I know that we're supposed to talk about tattoos and all that, but you're a rock star. Okay, So whether you were in a chinook or on a stage, you're a rock star wherever you're going. That's why you know that. I feel it. I get it. I have a lot of people. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, what's your next tattoo? When is that? What's the date? What's the anniversary that you know the RPG went into your job.

July twenty fifth is the anniversary date. So I actually just got it and it is I don't know if you can see it?

July twenty fifth is the anniversary date. So I actually just got it and it is I don't know if you can see it?

Well, oh is it on your o your forearm right there?

Well, oh is it on your o your forearm right there?

Yeah, yeah, it's a it's hard to get it around there. It's a light bulb.

Yeah, yeah, it's a it's hard to get it around there. It's a light bulb.

It is a light bulb.

It is a light bulb.

Yeah, a light bulb. My life should have gone out that night, but it's doesn't.

Yeah, a light bulb. My life should have gone out that night, but it's doesn't.

I'm here.

I'm here.

I'm here with the plants.

I'm here with the plants.

So it's kind it's gotta sho it's got a chinook in a mountain scene and then a guy sitting huddled up in the on the bottom.

So it's kind it's gotta sho it's got a chinook in a mountain scene and then a guy sitting huddled up in the on the bottom.

But it was kind of like you know that, yeah, because you know that night none of us should have made it.

But it was kind of like you know that, yeah, because you know that night none of us should have made it.

There were thirteen people that walked away, and uh, you know, it was a miracle for all of us. And it kind of feels like there is trying to find a better purpose, something more to do with my life, because like I said, I was, I was, Uh, substantially my life changed that night.

There were thirteen people that walked away, and uh, you know, it was a miracle for all of us. And it kind of feels like there is trying to find a better purpose, something more to do with my life, because like I said, I was, I was, Uh, substantially my life changed that night.

Fit mentally medically physically. Yeah, you know, it's been along road.

Fit mentally medically physically. Yeah, you know, it's been along road.

I just in December had my right leg amputative, and I'm learning to walk again. And you know, I spent ten years with a weird gait. I couldn't really walk right. My right leg wasn't working because of the brain injury, so my whole right side went weak.

I just in December had my right leg amputative, and I'm learning to walk again. And you know, I spent ten years with a weird gait. I couldn't really walk right. My right leg wasn't working because of the brain injury, so my whole right side went weak.

I had all these other neurological stuff happened.

I had all these other neurological stuff happened.

So it's getting back up there, you know, trying to what's my next plan, what's the next way to impact the world, because I'm I.

So it's getting back up there, you know, trying to what's my next plan, what's the next way to impact the world, because I'm I.

I shouldn't have made it back, and I did, and I need to. I need to keep giving. I need to keep giving. And I think that's what I really love about my affiliation with Wounded Wire Project is that one they were there when I was struggling to leave my house.

I shouldn't have made it back, and I did, and I need to. I need to keep giving. I need to keep giving. And I think that's what I really love about my affiliation with Wounded Wire Project is that one they were there when I was struggling to leave my house.

They got me out, they got me active, they got me connected to other veterans. But now they're giving me a way to give back. They're giving me a way to help others find help. And you know, you know, meeting Mars and getting doing that whole tattoo documentary with him was phenomenal. One I probably never would I met him. He's from Pennsylvania. I'm currently in Missouri, but I was in New Mexico for a decade before that, so like our worlds were worlds apart, right, but then went in talking and our during the tattoo, you know, we were in Afghanistan pretty close to each other, in similar locations, you know, during the same time period, and I was just so crazy. And I think a big piece of my recovery really has been finding other people that are having similar struggles, because it's hard to come into the civilian sector, especially as a female, to come back after war after seeing some of the things I've seen, after going through what I have gone through, it's hard to relate back to the civilian world. And PCSD is a big part of that for me, because I saw threats that everywhere, and.

They got me out, they got me active, they got me connected to other veterans. But now they're giving me a way to give back. They're giving me a way to help others find help. And you know, you know, meeting Mars and getting doing that whole tattoo documentary with him was phenomenal. One I probably never would I met him. He's from Pennsylvania. I'm currently in Missouri, but I was in New Mexico for a decade before that, so like our worlds were worlds apart, right, but then went in talking and our during the tattoo, you know, we were in Afghanistan pretty close to each other, in similar locations, you know, during the same time period, and I was just so crazy. And I think a big piece of my recovery really has been finding other people that are having similar struggles, because it's hard to come into the civilian sector, especially as a female, to come back after war after seeing some of the things I've seen, after going through what I have gone through, it's hard to relate back to the civilian world. And PCSD is a big part of that for me, because I saw threats that everywhere, and.

I had a hard time letting my guard down.

I had a hard time letting my guard down.

And you know, I just it changes you in a way that I can't really I don't know that I have the words to explain, but it just made being a civilian really hard. Like I didn't fit in. I didn't fit in with the other females at my church. I didn't fit in with the other you know, I just I don't really quite fit and you know. Yeah, I mean I think sometimes that's more important how you feel about it. You could fit somewhere and feel like you don't. You know, it's like you're in a room full of people and you feel completely alone, and that is one of the worst feelings.

And you know, I just it changes you in a way that I can't really I don't know that I have the words to explain, but it just made being a civilian really hard. Like I didn't fit in. I didn't fit in with the other females at my church. I didn't fit in with the other you know, I just I don't really quite fit and you know. Yeah, I mean I think sometimes that's more important how you feel about it. You could fit somewhere and feel like you don't. You know, it's like you're in a room full of people and you feel completely alone, and that is one of the worst feelings.

You know.

You know.

I always say it's it's easier to be alone when you're actually alone.

I always say it's it's easier to be alone when you're actually alone.

When you're in a room full of people and you're alone. It is. It is menacing, it is you know, it is it is, right, Yeah.

When you're in a room full of people and you're alone. It is. It is menacing, it is you know, it is it is, right, Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, it's true. I mean it just it can hitch it and some people who go on stage have it and they still force themselves to go into this crowded environment to be in this group full of people. Right, But at the end of it all, they're just like I want to just like go crawl into a closet somewhere and not see anybody for a minute. Yeah, you know, you got to pull you got to push through that, and so wanted warriors helping you to push through, uh, getting out of the house and not just kind of sitting around on yourself.

Yeah, yeah, it's true. I mean it just it can hitch it and some people who go on stage have it and they still force themselves to go into this crowded environment to be in this group full of people. Right, But at the end of it all, they're just like I want to just like go crawl into a closet somewhere and not see anybody for a minute. Yeah, you know, you got to pull you got to push through that, and so wanted warriors helping you to push through, uh, getting out of the house and not just kind of sitting around on yourself.

Yeah, I mean it started with a Souldier ride, right, they called every year on my birthday.

Yeah, I mean it started with a Souldier ride, right, they called every year on my birthday.

When I was going through the PTSD program.

When I was going through the PTSD program.

I got signed up for Wounder Warrior Project, and it took me four years to do anything with them because I had all my lambs at that time.

I got signed up for Wounder Warrior Project, and it took me four years to do anything with them because I had all my lambs at that time.

I had because of the brain injury.

I had because of the brain injury.

I had balance issues, so I walked with a cane and I struggled.

I had balance issues, so I walked with a cane and I struggled.

I had drop foot. My speech was really impaired.

I had drop foot. My speech was really impaired.

So your speech was impaired. Is that what you're telling me? And so you've really worked hard to get that just yeah? Right.

So your speech was impaired. Is that what you're telling me? And so you've really worked hard to get that just yeah? Right.

I think if I was sitting in a room and I wasn't speaking, you wouldn't know anything was wrong with me. But the second I'd go to speak or I'd stand up to move, you could tell.

I think if I was sitting in a room and I wasn't speaking, you wouldn't know anything was wrong with me. But the second I'd go to speak or I'd stand up to move, you could tell.

Because it was all neurological stuff.

Because it was all neurological stuff.

But because I looked on the outside like I was whole, I really struggled to use the resources that were there for me. I felt like, you know, there were people who were so much worse off, And so it took me four years before I reached out to Wundawarre Project to see if they could.

But because I looked on the outside like I was whole, I really struggled to use the resources that were there for me. I felt like, you know, there were people who were so much worse off, And so it took me four years before I reached out to Wundawarre Project to see if they could.

Help me at all.

Help me at all.

They called me every year on my birthday just to check in and see how I was doing, and you know, do you need anything?

They called me every year on my birthday just to check in and see how I was doing, and you know, do you need anything?

And I was like, no, I'm fine, right, I was miserable.

And I was like, no, I'm fine, right, I was miserable.

I resented at a breath I took, I didn't want to be here anymore. But I have the son at home that if I if I unlive myself at that point, that would be traumatic for him. Right, Like, I really struggled with the fact that I made it back, and I think that's where A wound to Warrior Project when they found when I finally reached out and said, actually, I do need help, you know, and they got me to a soldier ride and I met other people that were dealing with the same things.

I resented at a breath I took, I didn't want to be here anymore. But I have the son at home that if I if I unlive myself at that point, that would be traumatic for him. Right, Like, I really struggled with the fact that I made it back, and I think that's where A wound to Warrior Project when they found when I finally reached out and said, actually, I do need help, you know, and they got me to a soldier ride and I met other people that were dealing with the same things.

That felt like that was.

That felt like that was.

A shell of who I was before and I couldn't figure out how to get back. And the truth is, I'm never going to be who I was, But you know, Windawar Project really helped me learn how to build on where I am and how to become the next best version of myself. Right, I'm never going to be best before Afghanistan. That's never going to happen. And that's okay, because to be honest, I really like who I am today. I really like there is there are some struggles and there are some real hardships that I never had to deal with before. But you know, I get to stand here and go as a single parent, my son could be like my mom has taught me how to persevere, and as a man, that's an important thing to know, right, Like I can have some pride in the fact that even in my struggle and my inability might me not allowing myself to quit has been such a role model, even just to my son.

A shell of who I was before and I couldn't figure out how to get back. And the truth is, I'm never going to be who I was, But you know, Windawar Project really helped me learn how to build on where I am and how to become the next best version of myself. Right, I'm never going to be best before Afghanistan. That's never going to happen. And that's okay, because to be honest, I really like who I am today. I really like there is there are some struggles and there are some real hardships that I never had to deal with before. But you know, I get to stand here and go as a single parent, my son could be like my mom has taught me how to persevere, and as a man, that's an important thing to know, right, Like I can have some pride in the fact that even in my struggle and my inability might me not allowing myself to quit has been such a role model, even just to my son.

But now we add other warriors that I deal with, you know. And so I started cycling. WUND thewarri Project then sent me to a sports clinic. I got to learn other things I could do, and and pretty soon the.

But now we add other warriors that I deal with, you know. And so I started cycling. WUND thewarri Project then sent me to a sports clinic. I got to learn other things I could do, and and pretty soon the.

Realization was I can do anything I could do before. It's gonna look different, right, Yeah, I'm gonna need adaptive equipment.

Realization was I can do anything I could do before. It's gonna look different, right, Yeah, I'm gonna need adaptive equipment.

I'm gonna need some extra support along the way.

I'm gonna need some extra support along the way.

But you know, I'm sitting here today, ten years after my retirement, getting ready to go back to welding school. And that was something, you know, like that was something I didn't think I was ever gonna be able to do another work, a real job again, you know.

But you know, I'm sitting here today, ten years after my retirement, getting ready to go back to welding school. And that was something, you know, like that was something I didn't think I was ever gonna be able to do another work, a real job again, you know.

And and and I've put the time in. I've put the work in, and it hasn't been easy.

And and and I've put the time in. I've put the work in, and it hasn't been easy.

But you know, wonder wearor Project themselves and the people that they have UH linked me up with have been a huge part of me getting to where.

But you know, wonder wearor Project themselves and the people that they have UH linked me up with have been a huge part of me getting to where.

I am today.

I am today.

I love that, you know. It just caught you welding going back. Losing a leg reminds me of that movie with Cuba Gooding Junior and Rob de Niro where he's like, damn it, just get gamut. Cookie'll want done steps and I want them now. You're gonna give you them ten steps in this court room right now? You know, I can't. What's that show called? He had lost his leg in an accident in the military and still wanted to prove that he can continue through, like you can't stop me. You're not gonna stop me. Only he can stop himself. Only you can stop you. Like you said, you know, I believe in I believe in freedom of choice. You have the freedom to choose whatever you want to do to yourself. We don't want you to unlive yourself, We don't want you to do those things. But I can't fully stop somebody making a personal decision about a tattoo. But they want to put in their body and what they want to do themselves. It should be freedom of choice. And so all I can tell you is I love you, and we would miss you, and you're you're really wanted around here more than you think you are. You know, don't let your little brain take you out, take you down.

I love that, you know. It just caught you welding going back. Losing a leg reminds me of that movie with Cuba Gooding Junior and Rob de Niro where he's like, damn it, just get gamut. Cookie'll want done steps and I want them now. You're gonna give you them ten steps in this court room right now? You know, I can't. What's that show called? He had lost his leg in an accident in the military and still wanted to prove that he can continue through, like you can't stop me. You're not gonna stop me. Only he can stop himself. Only you can stop you. Like you said, you know, I believe in I believe in freedom of choice. You have the freedom to choose whatever you want to do to yourself. We don't want you to unlive yourself, We don't want you to do those things. But I can't fully stop somebody making a personal decision about a tattoo. But they want to put in their body and what they want to do themselves. It should be freedom of choice. And so all I can tell you is I love you, and we would miss you, and you're you're really wanted around here more than you think you are. You know, don't let your little brain take you out, take you down.

That So that is that is what I've learned in the route, you know, like that's where I started. And you know, I have way more better, great days today and you know, I still around my anniversary, I get.

That So that is that is what I've learned in the route, you know, like that's where I started. And you know, I have way more better, great days today and you know, I still around my anniversary, I get.

I don't know. I think it's weird to call it survivor's skill, because usually I think survivor's guilt is really about when someone you know died with you and you you live through it.

I don't know. I think it's weird to call it survivor's skill, because usually I think survivor's guilt is really about when someone you know died with you and you you live through it.

Right For me, even just I think the fact that I resented being here and knowing all the lives that had been lost and their families would have done anything to have them back. I think I had a lot of guilt around the fact that I resented still living, you know, and so life, life is much better today than it's ever been.

Right For me, even just I think the fact that I resented being here and knowing all the lives that had been lost and their families would have done anything to have them back. I think I had a lot of guilt around the fact that I resented still living, you know, and so life, life is much better today than it's ever been.

Like I'm at my best place.

Like I'm at my best place.

You're like my helicopter would never fall out of the sky. Should have fallen out of the sky. This shouldn't have happened. There should have been an RPG that should I should have watched better, I should have moved left when I went right. All these things are always going to be that your your mental rubs cube of trying to figure out.

You're like my helicopter would never fall out of the sky. Should have fallen out of the sky. This shouldn't have happened. There should have been an RPG that should I should have watched better, I should have moved left when I went right. All these things are always going to be that your your mental rubs cube of trying to figure out.

Because your your bin always wants to make it a better scenario and you can't.

Because your your bin always wants to make it a better scenario and you can't.

You can't. Sometimes you just have to get to a point you can accept it. This is what happened, this is where I'm at now.

You can't. Sometimes you just have to get to a point you can accept it. This is what happened, this is where I'm at now.

And I could either do X, Y and Z and improve, or I could do nothing and stay stuck. Or I could choose to destroy my life. Right Like, those are your three options. You can always stay where you're at and be miserable. You can get better, you can get worse, And it really is all dependent on your mindset and what you really want, because if it's not easy to do better, you know, it hasn't been easy, you know, Like just recently with the amputation, that was a long road.