In this powerful episode of Sit on That Stump in Muddy Bottom, host Vicki Parker sits down with therapist and author Jessica Derrickson to talk about family dysfunction, generational trauma, and what it truly means to be labeled the “black sheep.”

Jessica shares the story behind her book Cycle Breaker and offers compassionate insight into toxic family dynamics, emotional invalidation, and the patterns that get passed down when healing never happens. Together, Vicki and Jessica explore forgiveness, boundaries, communication, and how understanding perspective can begin the process of restoration—for individuals and entire families.

Whether you’ve felt like the outcast, struggled with broken relationships, or want to stop harmful cycles for future generations, this episode offers hope, validation, and practical tools for healing and growth.

In this powerful episode of Sit on That Stump in Muddy Bottom, host Vicki Parker sits down with therapist and author Jessica Derrickson to talk about family dysfunction, generational trauma, and what it truly means to be labeled the &ldquo;black sheep.&rdquo;
Jessica shares the story behind her book Cycle Breaker and offers compassionate insight into toxic family dynamics, emotional invalidation, and the patterns that get passed down when healing never happens. Together, Vicki and Jessica explore forgiveness, boundaries, communication, and how understanding perspective can begin the process of restoration&mdash;for individuals and entire families.
Whether you&rsquo;ve felt like the outcast, struggled with broken relationships, or want to stop harmful cycles for future generations, this episode offers hope, validation, and practical tools for healing and growth.

Dig Yourself Out of Life's Deepest Pits & Discover the Diamonds Hidden in the Process

Dig Yourself Out of Life's Deepest Pits &amp; Discover the Diamonds Hidden in the Process

Sit on that Stump in Muddy Bottom

Dig Yourself Out Of Life's Deepest Pits And Discover The Diamonds Hidden In The Process

Dig Yourself Out Of Life's Deepest Pits And Discover The Diamonds Hidden In The Process

Ep 51 - Breaking the Cycle: Healing Family Dysfunction & the Black Sheep Story with Jessica Derrickson

A powerful, deeply personal conversation about an unplanned pregnancy, the pressure surrounding life-altering decisions, and the long road to healing. This episode explores fear, silence, regret, and redemption—offering insight into what many experience but few openly discuss.

A powerful, deeply personal conversation about an unplanned pregnancy, the pressure surrounding life-altering decisions, and the long road to healing. This episode explores fear, silence, regret, and redemption&mdash;offering insight into what many experience but few openly discuss.

To Silence to Strength, “The Story She Carried in Silence for Decades”

A powerful and encouraging message about overcoming life’s deepest struggles and trusting God’s plan through every season. This episode reminds us that pain, delay, and hardship are not the end—but part of the journey toward purpose, growth, and restoration.

A powerful and encouraging message about overcoming life&rsquo;s deepest struggles and trusting God&rsquo;s plan through every season. This episode reminds us that pain, delay, and hardship are not the end&mdash;but part of the journey toward purpose, growth, and restoration.

From the Pit to the Palace: Trusting God Through Life’s Hardest Seasons

Most programs focus only on short-term prevention, but what if there was a way to equip young people with lifelong skills for healthy, impactful decisions?
In this powerful episode, Thelma Moten reveals how a small Bible-based initiative grew into a statewide movement impacting thousands of students, families, and communities over 35 years — all while facing cultural shifts and funding challenges.
You'll discover:
The origin story of Choosing to Excel and how one woman's desire to help young women led to a nationwide ripple effect
Practical tools for fostering emotional health, character, and critical thinking in youth
How including real-life stories, including her own family’s grief, transforms fostered resilience and purpose
The importance of community, parental involvement, and advocacy in sustaining programs that genuinely change lives
Why this approach is more vital than ever in an age of social media, misinformation, and early exposure to adult content
Neglecting this vital work risks our kids growing up unprepared for the emotional and social complexities of today’s world. The opportunity? Equipping the next generation with internal assets, hope, and the ability to make healthier choices for a brighter future.
Perfect for educators, parents, community leaders, and anyone passionate about raising resilient, responsible, and morally grounded youth. Unlock the power of faith-based, evidence-driven mentorship that turns pain into purpose.
Visit choosing2excel.org to support, replicate, or learn more about expanding this life-changing work. Because these are not just kids — they are our sons and daughters, and their future depends on what we do today.
Tune in now to discover how a village of believers is shaping a legacy of hope and success for generations to come.

1. Building influence starts with listening and responding to real needs
The most impactful programs often originate from genuine awareness of community pain points rather than top-down initiatives. When leaders listen carefully and create tailored solutions, their influence naturally expands through authentic relationships.
Why it matters
Leaders who prioritize listening unlock deeper engagement and trust, which are essential for lasting change. Believing that impact begins with understanding transforms outreach from superficial to transformational.
In practice
Thelma’s approach of listening to students’ voiced struggles allowed her to tailor programs that resonated deeply, turning initial small efforts into statewide movement.2. Long-term change requires a principle-centered model over short-term campaigns
Programs built on core values like integrity, purpose, and relational trust outlast fleeting trends and adapt effectively to cultural shifts. They create a mental framework that sustains impact even when external circumstances change.
Why it matters
Relying on principles rather than transient techniques ensures programs remain relevant, resilient, and capable of shaping future generations amid societal turbulence.
In practice
Choosing to excel’s focus on character and values, rather than just knowledge or prevention, enables it to navigate shifting cultural landscapes and maintain influence.3. Influence on young people flows from demonstrating authenticity and integrity
Young people are drawn to honest, relational engagement—seeing adults who embody the values they promote. External programs succeed when leaders exemplify what they teach in character and behavior.
Why it matters
Authenticity builds credibility and trust with youth, making messages more persuasive and durable than information alone.
In practice
Thelma’s strategy of involving real couples and relatable stories shows that authenticity in action accelerates behavioral and worldview shifts among students.4. Effective education goes beyond information to asset-based transformation
Concepts like internal assets and emotional health are crucial for empowering youth not just to avoid risks but to thrive. Recognizing and developing internal strengths leads to sustainable life choices.
Why it matters
Shifting from fear-based or risk-only messaging to asset recognition fosters resilience, confidence, and agency in young people.
In practice
Thelma’s utilization of personal stories where pain was converted into purpose exemplifies how acknowledging internal assets inspires youth to envision possibilities.5. Resilience in community programs demands continual adaptation and funded support
Sustaining impactful efforts requires ongoing investment, innovation, and training aligned with current cultural realities. Without resources, even the most effective models risk extinction.
Why it matters
Investing in consistent training, research, and expansion ensures programs stay relevant and able to meet evolving needs.
In practice
Thelma emphasizes the necessity of grassroots funding and strategic partnerships to continue and expand her program’s reach and effectiveness.6. Teaching relational and emotional skills is as vital as academic knowledge
Equipping youth with critical thinking, boundary setting, and relationship management skills empowers them to navigate complex social landscapes and long-term life challenges.
Why it matters
The future stability and health of communities hinge on the development of these foundational social-emotional competencies.
In practice
The program’s inclusion of real-life scenarios, peer panels, and mentor stories exemplifies practical relational skill-building that transcends traditional curriculum.7. Addressing cultural shift requires a proactive, value-driven community response
Cultural changes—like the normalization of risky behaviors—demand that communities and leaders proactively communicate core values through trusted voices and comprehensive support systems.
Why it matters
Communities must act intentionally to counteract misinformation and cultural norms that threaten youth well-being.
In practice
Thelma advocates for community-wide awareness, local funding, and direct youth engagement as essential strategies to reinforce foundational health and character in a changing societal landscape.

Most programs focus only on short-term prevention, but what if there was a way to equip young people with lifelong skills for healthy, impactful decisions? In this powerful episode, Thelma Moten reveals how a small Bible-based initiative grew into a statewide movement impacting thousands of students, families, and communities over 35 years &mdash; all while facing cultural shifts and funding challenges. You'll discover:
<ul>
<li>The origin story of Choosing to Excel and how one woman's desire to help young women led to a nationwide ripple effect</li>
<li>Practical tools for fostering emotional health, character, and critical thinking in youth</li>
<li>How including real-life stories, including her own family&rsquo;s grief, transforms fostered resilience and purpose</li>
<li>The importance of community, parental involvement, and advocacy in sustaining programs that genuinely change lives</li>
<li>Why this approach is more vital than ever in an age of social media, misinformation, and early exposure to adult content Neglecting this vital work risks our kids growing up unprepared for the emotional and social complexities of today&rsquo;s world. The opportunity? Equipping the next generation with internal assets, hope, and the ability to make healthier choices for a brighter future. Perfect for educators, parents, community leaders, and anyone passionate about raising resilient, responsible, and morally grounded youth. Unlock the power of faith-based, evidence-driven mentorship that turns pain into purpose. Visit choosing2excel.org to support, replicate, or learn more about expanding this life-changing work. Because these are not just kids &mdash; they are our sons and daughters, and their future depends on what we do today. Tune in now to discover how a village of believers is shaping a legacy of hope and success for generations to come.</li>
</ul>
1. Building influence starts with listening and responding to real needs The most impactful programs often originate from genuine awareness of community pain points rather than top-down initiatives. When leaders listen carefully and create tailored solutions, their influence naturally expands through authentic relationships. Why it matters Leaders who prioritize listening unlock deeper engagement and trust, which are essential for lasting change. Believing that impact begins with understanding transforms outreach from superficial to transformational. In practice Thelma&rsquo;s approach of listening to students&rsquo; voiced struggles allowed her to tailor programs that resonated deeply, turning initial small efforts into statewide movement.2. Long-term change requires a principle-centered model over short-term campaigns Programs built on core values like integrity, purpose, and relational trust outlast fleeting trends and adapt effectively to cultural shifts. They create a mental framework that sustains impact even when external circumstances change. Why it matters Relying on principles rather than transient techniques ensures programs remain relevant, resilient, and capable of shaping future generations amid societal turbulence. In practice Choosing to excel&rsquo;s focus on character and values, rather than just knowledge or prevention, enables it to navigate shifting cultural landscapes and maintain influence.3. Influence on young people flows from demonstrating authenticity and integrity Young people are drawn to honest, relational engagement&mdash;seeing adults who embody the values they promote. External programs succeed when leaders exemplify what they teach in character and behavior. Why it matters Authenticity builds credibility and trust with youth, making messages more persuasive and durable than information alone. In practice Thelma&rsquo;s strategy of involving real couples and relatable stories shows that authenticity in action accelerates behavioral and worldview shifts among students.4. Effective education goes beyond information to asset-based transformation Concepts like internal assets and emotional health are crucial for empowering youth not just to avoid risks but to thrive. Recognizing and developing internal strengths leads to sustainable life choices. Why it matters Shifting from fear-based or risk-only messaging to asset recognition fosters resilience, confidence, and agency in young people. In practice Thelma&rsquo;s utilization of personal stories where pain was converted into purpose exemplifies how acknowledging internal assets inspires youth to envision possibilities.5. Resilience in community programs demands continual adaptation and funded support Sustaining impactful efforts requires ongoing investment, innovation, and training aligned with current cultural realities. Without resources, even the most effective models risk extinction. Why it matters Investing in consistent training, research, and expansion ensures programs stay relevant and able to meet evolving needs. In practice Thelma emphasizes the necessity of grassroots funding and strategic partnerships to continue and expand her program&rsquo;s reach and effectiveness.6. Teaching relational and emotional skills is as vital as academic knowledge Equipping youth with critical thinking, boundary setting, and relationship management skills empowers them to navigate complex social landscapes and long-term life challenges. Why it matters The future stability and health of communities hinge on the development of these foundational social-emotional competencies. In practice The program&rsquo;s inclusion of real-life scenarios, peer panels, and mentor stories exemplifies practical relational skill-building that transcends traditional curriculum.7. Addressing cultural shift requires a proactive, value-driven community response Cultural changes&mdash;like the normalization of risky behaviors&mdash;demand that communities and leaders proactively communicate core values through trusted voices and comprehensive support systems. Why it matters Communities must act intentionally to counteract misinformation and cultural norms that threaten youth well-being. In practice Thelma advocates for community-wide awareness, local funding, and direct youth engagement as essential strategies to reinforce foundational health and character in a changing societal landscape.

Ep 51 - Breaking the Cycle: Healing Family Dysfunction & the Black Sheep Story with Jessica Derrickson

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