Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonFamily and Fame with Tish Cyrus-Purcell and Brandi Cyrus
Tish Cyrus-Purcell and Brandi Cyrus join Oliver for a very revealing revelry!
The truth behind the decision to divorce Billy Ray, the anxiety attacks that stopped Tish in her tracks, and how Brandi handled her parents' break-up as an adult.
Hi.
I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.
We wanted to do something that highlighted our.
Relationship and what it's like to be siblings.
We are a sibling.
Raivalry. No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth. Revelry.
That's good.
Bronco. Bronco is my dog. He's a German Shorthair pointer and he never leaves my side. He's a little bit anxious, but he is deeply and madly in love with me, and I am too, so reciprocated and he just sort of follows me around and I love him. And then I have got donut. As some of you might know if you listen to sort of I think my Father's Day episode, he was bothering me. Donut is my bulldog. He's a dumb, dumb but he's a sweetie. I think he's nine almost nine. Started to slow down a little bit. Bulldogs don't live that long. But I think he's gonna think he's gonna do pretty good here. Anyways, me, it's all Aiver Hudson. If he didn't already know, I just got back from New York City. I was doing the Drew Berrymore show. I had a blast talking relationships, talking about love with my Manta Diggs. It was fun. I think, you know, I think I want to do a daytime talk show. I think this is what I'm leaning leaning towards. Do I love being an actor, yeah? Sure, Do I love producing? Yeah? I love it all. We're in a world now, this business, where we need to pivot, you know, we need different avenues. We've got to supplement, We've got to figure out what else we love. And I do like talking to people. I do like giving my armchair advice, even though I don't use my own advice half the time. But I could talk more about myself. But I think we got a couple of amazing guests in the waiting room, Brandy and Tish Cyrus. Oh yes, oh yes, the iconic name, the Cyrus iconic name. Very excited to have them on to talk about many, many, many many things, having grown up the way that they did with all the siblings. Oh wait, you're already here. I I was doing my intro.
Carry on, it's like, we're not here.
This is actually this is kind of fun. Let me let you guys stay on. I'm going to keep doing my intro. So, these are two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. They are extremely intellectual. I don't understand why they're not multi billionaires. Oh wait, they're here. What did you hear all that?
No, I'm not a saying I'm wondering if we're not multi billionaires.
Well, thank you guys for coming on and playing with me. I appreciate it.
Oh my god, you do not know how stoked I am, because I am, like, it is not okay, how much I'll love your Instagram?
Oh really? Yes, oh good, it makes me happy. It's it's it's the one thing that honestly probably brings me the most joy because I nothing is planned. Everything is spontaneous. That's why sometimes I don't do shit and nothing goes on there, and then all of a sudden, I get the giggles of something that comes through my head and I just do it. But I love it. I mean, if there's any piece of creativity that is a true expression of my being, that is definitely it's.
It's too good.
Like if I'm in like a bad mood and I just I hit your Instagram restantly happy.
So thank you for that?
Oh good, Well, thank you, guys, I appreciate that. Where are you right now?
We're in my house in to Luca Lake in La.
Oh you are? Yeah? Okay? Good? But where did you grow up? Where did this all happen?
I grew up in eastern Kentucky in the Sticks, and moved to Nashville in the early nineties and then out here in two thousand and four.
So I've been here for a long.
Time, okay. And then Brandy, I grew up.
In Nashville, essentially moved me, moved us there when I was five, and I lived there up until Miley got Hannah Montana. And then I lived in LA for a while and freaking hated it. And now I'm back in Nashville. I've been back for a long time.
So oh good. So hold on, why did we hate La?
What is there to like? Honestly, guys, like the West wasn't the same all the time. It's so boring. The traffic is horrendous. Getting into lax is a freaking nightmare. No bookings out with each other, there's no night life, there's no social scene. Like I it's just not for me.
Yeah, you know what, I agree? I mean, I was born and raised here, but I kind of want out. I'm an outdoor guy, right, so I have a boat. I love the ocean, I love the mountains.
Where would you go if you were gonna move?
Probably Colorado, I'm right there with you. Yeah, Colorado. The Colorado to me is, you know, just a perfect state. I mean, I love the snow, I love the seasons. I love the summers there. You know, We've had a ranch there for forty years my family, so it's sort of second Homeie. I went to elementary school there, just outside of Aspen, and it's just a very special place for me, you know, yep. And I'm sick of the traffic. I'm sick of I'm sick of it, you know I am. But it's home. My whole fucking family lives ten minutes from each other, you know. I mean that's pretty special. I got Kurt and Mom and Wyatt and Kateon and Boston and all of us are right here with all the cousins and everything else.
I wish all of my kids were here, but it's for me. I mean, I could never live in Nashville because through my kids are in Nashville. But the weather is literally horrendous, So I can't great. It is terrible.
It brains more than it rains in Seattle News.
And but for me here Molly is literally like five minutes for me, and Noah is five minutes for me, and all right here together and so and I love it.
Yeah.
And I have happened to have a house that like I cannot see anyone else, like like I cannot see my neighbors.
I have a big front yard. I have a big backyard.
And like when you pull into my gates, you feel like you're like in freaking Bali.
Yeah, it feels like live retreat.
For sure.
It does block a retreat. So like for me, like just the traffic is really the only thing that bugs me. And yeah, it's filthy.
So that's I get it. I did a show called Nashville. I did Nashville in Nashville. I lived there for two years. So I bought a house in Cleveland Park. You know, and no doubt that weather is nasty. The ice storms were nutty.
I know, the storms are insane.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Well let's go back a little bit. Because you guys have such you have such an interesting sort of family. There's seven total siblings, correct, five? Okay, total five total op total okay, and so there's half in fulls. There are how many halves and how many folds?
Two halves, three folds?
Okay? Three? Fourth? And is everyone still connected under the same umbrella? Everyone is their relationships amongst everybody.
There are relationships among everyone. But being that the three the three are in Nashville and two are in LA.
Like I got divorced about what year was that, twenty twenty two years ago? I don't know, but I got divorced.
Well yeah, yeah, I was reading about that with Billy, right, so okay, But it was an interesting divorce, meaning it was a divorce, not divorced, divorce not divorce, and then finally divorce.
For me, I never wanted to be divorced. Like my mom and dad got met on a Monday, got married on a Friday, and we're together until my dad passed away. Great childhood, best example of a marriage you could ever imagine. And also just for us, like you're in the public guy, and like the world that we like exist in is already so kind of odd and at some times unstable. I wanted to make it work, you know, probably for a little too long, like for my.
Own mental health, right, So the staying together was sort of filing. Staying together was like can we make this work or can you make this work essentially right? Right? And then you know, the ship peters up.
It there became a point that like I didn't have a choice.
I had like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And how was that for the whole family just generally?
I mean it definitely I think was tough on everyone in some ways.
It was, but I feel like when once they finally did divorce, we were all adults. Yeah, I know, and that was I feel like in the beginning, like you know, in the prior filings, like especially Noah was so young, and that was definitely like a big thing, is like my mom really wanted to stay the family, to stay together for Noah. But then you know, once Noah was an adult, I do feel like it was was it was not great, But also we're all old enough to understand it, right, like build like like zoom out and see it for what it was instead of feeling like, yeah.
That's an interesting question actually, because we always I'm proud of I'm a child of divorce, you know, but you're always hearing of stories, you know, or the implications of divorce through child's eyes, you know who brain has not developed fully and is maybe taking it personally or it's fucking them up in one way or another. Right, But you rarely hear of adult children who sort of are going through it and how you guys are all able to process that with a fully developed, conscious and aware brain.
Yes, for sure, it was definitely definitely different, Like it.
Was easier or were there I think so?
I think, I mean, I honestly don't know what it's like to go through a divorce, like living in a parent's house, but because I was out of the house. But I would assume that if a kid was still in the house during a divorce that you would be wrapped up in all the drama more right, Like I was very removed from it because I lived in my own house and I wasn't you know, you're not like you're not just like in all of it, only part of what they tell you essentially, you know.
So yeah, right, But there's there's no taking sides, right, I mean, there's just is there No matter what. I'm not going to get into the d because I don't know how much you want to talk about it or not. I like the fucking weeds, as you probably will know, but like like weed and the weeds. But you know, it's like when you're that age, whatever happens to your parents, you know, and how do you navigate that? For sure?
Yes, you know, I think I mean even the older kids, you know, like my son Trace, for example, he's thirty six, he'll be thirty six in February, you know, and he was like FuMB like he was like, I wish my mom and dad would never get that.
I wish that wouldn't have happened.
I still, you know, have just you know, I think no matter I was, like I said, I was an only child and had the best upbringing and best parents and never went through anything like that. So I don't really know how it affects you, but I definitely think, you know, ultimately my kids, it was definitely something that was probably hard on him. I would think, you know, no matter how you do it, and you know, I think that we did it really well.
I think I did it really well.
And I do I think that I just wanted it to be the easiest as possible for everyone involved.
So going back to happier times, I guess, you know, just the having children, And I always ask this question for people who do have kids who are famous and how they you know, we're able to sort of navigate that as well, you know, growing up in it with a famous father, what that was like, how you keep everyone humble, how you keep them grounded, and then even moving forward, you know, when the kids want to sort of follow in the footsteps or get into these into this business, which can obviously be dangerous if not done correctly. You know how you guys sort of went about all of that.
It was like for me like a full time job because I also manage I have managed my lie since day one, and I still do and so you know, it's like that bad balance of being her manager and her mom, you know, wasn't always easy. But honestly, she is sheer perfection now and so whatever I did, like I'd like pat myself on the back all the time because I'm so proud of like the woman that she's become. She's getting ready to be thirty two, and like she amazes me every day. And you know, she started Hannah Montana when she was twelve, so she really did grow up in the business and most of the time, a lot of the time that does not go well. But for somehow we made that relationship really work. And I did that with all my kids, Like you know, I even I managed Noah for a while. Noah has a different manager now, I don't know the world as well with Noah, Like musically, she's completely different than anything I know.
Amazing. By the way, it's so funny because I told my wife you know who was coming on, and she goes, oh my god, I've just been obsessed recently with Noah's music. And she just just played me two of her songs and one was called July Yes, and the other one was kind of about what is it called, like over being dark or something was kind of about it.
Might have been I don't know if it was.
Second Verse talks about Miley. I think where it's like my sister is all light and Sean.
Yeah, Noah is like like an artist, you know, like she's always from the time she was like thirteen, just had this depth to her that like comes out in her music.
She writes all of her music, and like she's such an artist. With Molly, like Molly's so different. Molly isn't such a different like top style of music and world that Noah is, which is great because there's no competition there, you know, like they're in just two completely different worlds musically, which is great. And then Brandy's a DJ and traces in music. My son Brazen, Noah and him collabed sometimes he's a songwriter.
So like all my kids are in music.
It's crazy the family business, you know. I mean, it's the family fucking business. It's the same here. You know. It's like you got the got Curtin Mom, totally, myself, Kate Wyatt, all of our kids want to act. I mean, it's just kind of the way it is.
It really is.
I think that when kids grow up like that, they don't know anything, like that's all they know.
Yeah, I mean I will say, like I'm the oldest. So for me, it was, you know, I was never I was never expected to get into the business. If anything, it was kind of the opposite. I think. I think my mom really wished I would be the one to like go to college and get a degree thing else, and and I was never expected to do it. But I was also like never pressured to do anything anything specifically, And I've still found myself in it, you know what I mean, Right, yeah, obviously we all did, and it is interesting how we all like somehow found a separate lane in it too, Like she said, like it's just like we all do it, but like there's really no competition and crossover, which is like really interesting.
I asked this question all the time because we have celebrities and their siblings or you know, I've come from that world where we all do the same thing and everyone seems to say that there is no envy, there is no jealousy, everyone's you know, happy for each other. I don't fucking necessarily believe it all the time. I just don't, only because do you do you wish success for everyone in your family? Of course? Are there parts of me? And I've talked about this a million times, you know where I'm envious of my sister's opportunities and you know what she's been able to do and do I sometimes feel like the black sheep, even though my career, you know, by normal standards, have been amazing. Fuck yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like, there's that thing and maybe it's me, I don't know.
Just the two of you guys, the siblings.
No, it's myself, it's Kate, it's Wyatt, and it's Boston, so it's too full. Kate and I are blood, and then Wyatt and I are half and then Boston's step I see. Yeah, how are you on the youngest, I'm the oldest. I'm like you yeah, interesting, Yeah.
I think like honestly, I'm speaking of Trace again, like he really just told me the other day, Like I've always like, I've never been jealous of Molly. I've always been grateful for the opportunities I get because of her, And so I think that I think that my kids have mostly seen.
It that way.
Yeah, you know, I mean I'm sure it's hard to be you know, like the Mallis of the world don't come around very often. I mean like to hit and mally. Like I always talk to my kids about like shut a machine. I mean, like Disney was a machine, and you know, those opportunities are so far and you know, if it's just like it's.
Winning the lottery, you know.
And so I think also just instilling that into them as they were younger and getting into the business, you know that you know, not everybody gets to go in that way, you know.
And it's harder because you have to kind of work harder.
And do things differently, and you know, just it's just a completely different way career path and a white into your career than the way Molly had with Hannah Montana mm hmm.
And Brandy, give me a little snapshot into sort of your upbringing, right, because you're the oldest, but you were tell me if I got this wrong, but you were adopted correct after But I'm.
Yeah, my dad technically adopted me when I was really young.
Got it? Okay, So give me a little give me a little overview of that.
Yeah, I mean, so for me, like I was five or six when ikeep, Break your Heart came out.
That sounds right, I don't think you were that well. Yeah, so eight two five, I was five.
So essentially, for like as long as I can remember, my dad's just been so famous, you know what I mean. So I've literally known nothing different. But I think, like, like where you guys went right, was like Trace and I trace a year and a half apart, so we're same age essentially, Like we were in public school. I was in public school until I was eighteen years old, until I graduated high school. So even though my dad was so famous, I still like had a pretty normal like day to day life, like went to public school, and when I was sixteen, like I got I got a job at a restaurant and went to work and was did very normal things, you know, even even though I would go watch my dad play these huge shows or whatever. But I'm so thankful for that, and I think that's something that like once the family moved to LA that was just almost impossible, right, Like it's not even to send them to public school and they're gonna have the same experience I had, Like it was just very different for them. But for me, it's just kind of all I've ever known is like the fame and all of it. So I feel like it doesn't like it just it doesn't really affect me oddly. But I also at the same time just feel like a normal person. But what I was gonna say about like Miley's fame and just like the grandeur of like of like her success, I don't ever feel the jealousy because I've never wanted that, Like I never wanted to be like famous or like have people recognize me everywhere I go and like have my photo taken everywhere. Like I love to play music and I love to have fun on the weekends in the club and make money. But what I love more is being able to go home and live a normal life. I live on a farm, I ride horses every day, I hang out. It's like and I want that, and I want to be able to always like have that. And when you have a career like Miley, that's your life, like entirety of your life. And I think I've always known that I don't want to give up all the other parts of my life for a job or to be able to like live out.
Yeah, you lose your freedom completely, you know.
Yeah, And you have to really fucking love it for that to be justified. And Miley does. She fucking loves everything that she does. She loves every process, every part of it. And like it's it's cool to see that because that is what it takes to be able to have that kind of career.
Totally, Oh my god, No, I'm totally with you. That level of fame is gnarly. You lose all your anonymity obviously, and then you lose your life essentially. And you said it perfectly, which is you have to love it, you know, you have to because it's such a massive sacrifice and of course you have. You know, the haters say, oh, what the fuck do you have to complain about? You're rich and famous, but you know there is a price to pay for that, There's no doubt.
About that across to pay.
Yeah, yes, I mean it's it's crazy. I mean you can't even you know, just date and hang out with dudes or go do your thing or whatever. Especially as a young person, you have to be careful of every little fucking movie you make unless you don't. And Miley seems to have that irreverence of like, you know what, fuck off, I don't don't give a shit what you think about me. I'm gonna go live my life.
She does, and like that is a good thing. It's great.
But it's like going on vacation or like you know, she like if you're on like all the tours we've ever done in every city, like everybody's going out and sight saying during the day and doing all the things and what like, there's no way that Molly could do that, Like it would be like mayhem. So you're stuck in a hotel room alone and you know, it's it is, it's it really is. You just give up so much like as far as that goes of being able to just go on vacation and be a normal person and you know, do things normally. But I do think that Molly honestly, like I said, like I'm in awe of her every day, Like she's just like kind of figured it out, and you know it is so happy, and like Brandy said, like she really is at this point in her adulthood where she really kind of is like every step has gotten me to where I'm at now, and like you know, she can kind of choose what she wants to do and not want to do, and.
So yeah, like she she's loving it.
Does she have her moments? Does she know how to find her freedom and anonymity without having to just stay at home? You know, I mean it's a big world, man, Like, wait, don't you she want to go experience it?
He definitely wants to.
And I think now that she's older, that that will happen and that she'll figure that part out because she like has just gotten like kind of the travel bug and like the world and you know, do all the things, and so yeah, I think there's a way to figure it out and do it. I don't think you'll ever do it. Like a normal person gets to do it. But I definitely think that they're you know, she'll she's a smart girl, she'll figure.
It for sure and bringy.
Going back a little bit, you know, do you remember being adopted. Was this a big moment or was it just kind of like this is my life? Because I only say this because you know my dad, you know, he was around for a little bit, then he he bailed. We have a good relationship now, but it took a long, long, long, long time, but we're there. Kurt came into my life when I was six, five or six kind of saying the same and essentially he raised me. You know, he's the man that I am. I'm the man I am today because I am right. There was a moment when he asked us, myself and Kate if we wanted to be adopted, and we said no, and not that we were, you know, very aware of probably what it even fucking meant. We were six and however old or twelve whatever, I don't remember the age, but we just said, well, we don't need it, you know what I mean, like we the love is right there, and you know, at the same time, you know, when you don't have your biological around. It's hard to replace that no matter what. You know, what I'm saying, like the love was there with Kurt. There's no doubt that he is my dad. I call him Paul, you know, but there was always not something missing, but it was always sort of like wow, but there's that other side, you know. Yeah, did you ever feel that at all? Or was it just like this is my dad and that's it.
Yeah, That's kind of how it was for me. Like, like I said, like from I mean Achy Bricky Heart came out when I was five, but I mean my dad's been in my life since I was what three? Yeah, Like you know, so I was I was very young. It's kind of all I know. And like you're kind of saying, like he was my dad, he like turned me into the person that I am. He taught me how to play guitar, He taught me how to ride a horse. He literally taught me how to do every single thing that I loved today. And I was a little bit older. I think when we like did the legal thing, and I think for me a lot of it was like, well, I want to have the same last name as my the rest of my family. I want to have the I want to be able to put cyrus when I'm at school and be braindy side, you know what I mean. And it was kind of more of like, well, this is my family and this is my dad, and I want to like I want to actually be a part of that family. And I think that's kind of more of what it was for me at the time. And I don't really remember it feeling like a big deal because it already felt like that, like it already the family, and I already felt like I was a sire. I already felt like he was my dad. So I just like kind of like it just didn't really feel like like a huge moment, you know what I mean, Oddly enough.
And then how did your sort of creative evolution happen? I mean at a young age, did everyone know and specifically you kind of what you wanted to do, what you wanted to be. Did you know that you were a creative person and wanted to pursue the arts.
So like I actually feel like I was the latest to that, like the latest bloomer in that sense. Like when I was growing up, like all I cared about was horses and I was just at the barn, like riding to love horses a day, every single day, and it's literally all I wanted to do. And then then I think like I went off to college and slowed down the riding, and that's the exact same time that Miley got hand in Montana, and you know, then the whole family moved out to la and the whole family kind of stepped more into the entertainment side of things, and I started making more friends in music, and it started to become like everybody that I was around was a creative and that's kind of how I feel like. I started to tap into that. And I became friends with a bunch of girls that were in a band and they all played guitar and they were all musicians and they became my very best friends, and they ended up touring with Miley and we all got on the road together, and I was hanging out essentially, but it made me want to learn how to play the guitar. And it's like, oh, well, look at that. My dad's great at it, so I'll just have him teach me. And I was probably i don't know, like twenty twenty one or twenty two, like when I picked up a guitar and on that tour kind of started messing around with it, and then when we came off that tour, I would just sit with my dad every day and just like figure out how to play the guitar. And that's kind of how I got interested in it. And then when I moved to La, I was working as like a featured background extra on Hannah Montana and got introduced to a girl that was a very talented artist and musician that was looking to put a band together, and she and I started a band, and I just kind of like it all just kind of happened really fast, you know. And it's funny because I as a kid, never like have dreams of what I wanted to be or have goals or like I definitely would not say like I knew I've always known what I wanted to do, because that's so far from the truth, and even to this day, like I feel.
Like I still don't really know.
I feel like I'm just kind of as it goes, you know, for a while. And then I like then that ended. And I started modeling a little bit when I was young, and then I wasn't that young when I started that, so I was like, well, this isn't gonna last long word. I go from here, and that's where I kind of got introduced to, like the world of the djaing and DJing. I would never in a million years of thought like that's where I would end up. And even when I started doing it, I was like, oh, this is good for now, until I really want to do and then I just started to really love it and it just started to take off for me. And here we freaking out And now she has a residency at the wind So now I'm a free resident.
Details Oh really, damn, that's amazing, isn't it Weird though, that's the beauty of life, And that's the beauty of sort of letting, not squeezing too hard and holding on to to anything. Really, you know, there's something really uh fantastic about this idea that you still don't know what the hell you are. I'm a very uh I try to be self aware. I have been in therapy for a billion years and I'm always in my head, not in a bad way, but I always ask. I'm always sometimes like, who the fuck are you, Oliver? Like who are you really? Like? Are you full of shit? To yourself? Right now? Like I mean I have these existential crises sometimes in my head, but then I'm like, you know what, who gives who kiss a ship? That? Why do I need to even pass a judgment on this? And we can't know who we are fully because we're forever evolving.
You know.
It's it's kind of the fun about being human. It can be scary at times, but if you allow it to just to be part of the process, then fuck, yeah, it's kind of awesome. Yeah.
I've kind of always been like I'll go where life takes me kind of gal like I don't Brandy is like, honestly, and I know that that you talk about your mental health and like, I've always been anxious, and over the last months, I've been very open about literally having the worst anxiety I've ever life.
Oh my god, Oh my god, it's it's been the chills awful. Like really, all Brandy, this girl like because all like all my kids have a little bit of anxiety, Like yeah, like we all struggle a little bit with it.
Not this one, like.
She was cruising through life there is like like yeah, there is nothing, no anxiety, no, none of it And like a.
TI, what what as mama, what what would you attribute that to. You know, why do you think that just given her makeup.
I don't know if it is because of the horses. For subfirming such a young age, like she really cared about nothing else, Like she really didn't like from the time she was six and put on a horse that was really she had such a connection to that and it was like there really wasn't time to think about other things, and like she was just always completely in it and she still.
Is like to this day.
And also like I don't know, but we like it's we just all talk about it because it's just like.
Damn got to be genetic a little bit. It's got to be something in your DNA that gives you anxiety.
I feel like I don't know.
Well again, as you know, like I'm this is my my struggles have been with anxiety. You know, it's not an everyday thing, but you do live with low grade you know, every now and again, even though I am on lexapro and I you know, on medication all that, but there is a genetic component. You know, my mom when she was twenty four years old, twenty five years old, which was the exact age when I got struck with anxiety, and when I say struck, I mean it. I was going into like a club. My heart felt like it exploded. I went down to a knee. I thought I was dying and I didn't understand, don't even know what anxiety was. Yeah, and my mom had it at the same time. So there. I don't think you're I don't think you're wrong. I think there is a genetic component to that for sure.
That somehow that gene just missed me because I lucky, lucky, I.
Mean she got I mean so lucky because like I was on lexipro for like twenty years, I worked beautifully, Like I didn't even have any low grade anxiety. I was like yeah, and all of a sudden it stopped working and oh yeah. And so for the last six to seven months, I've had like a lot of anxiety.
So you've only been like vocal about it for the last like six months or so, or have you talked about it? Why do you think that would.
Have been in like a freaking cave for six months. We went on hiatus from the podcast and everything, and she's just kind of going through it and then just just surfacing in the past month.
I'd say, oh wow, it's so interesting. So why do why did you feel like you had not that you had to hide it awaite because you were obviously you know you're on shows and you know you're a public person. And did you just never want to really talk about it?
No?
I talked about it the second I came, Like, I literally truly like it. Just it draws me crazy to give tabloids and shit like headlines. But like I also I always want to be honest because I want like if anything comes out of you know, what I've gone through, is if I can help other people who go through thing, then it's great. No, I wasn't functioning enough to even do the podcast, like was full on like panic attacks, like NonStop panic and just I've never felt anything like the anxiety that I felt for like four months solid of like like like after hell. As soon as I came out of it and we started podcasting again, I started talking about it.
Yeah, So how did you come out of it?
Changed medications, which like when I first went on lexapro and like you, I like was around twenty three when I first started having anxiety, I went on lexapro and it just like wiped it out, like it for me, it was just like I really, I mean, I got I had like anxiety around traveling and sure, yeah, nothing like major that I couldn't handle. And I also, for the last ten years smoked a lot of weed. And I don't know if this had something to do with it, but we went on vacation somewhere I could not have weed, and like three days in I just started having so much anxiety. Came home, I tried to smoke again and anxiety, and then just for some reason, had a full long I call it my anxiety era because I'm telling you it was like from the moment I woke up till the time I went to bed, I was just anxious, and it was like the abilitator.
How did your anxiety manifest? Because it's so funny, I had the exact four month stint. This is about two years ago now. I it was fucking gnarly, and I had young kids. They weren't young young, but I still to be a dad, you know. I was mountain biking and Colorado, going downhilling, like losing my shit on the mountain, and I would wake up every morning and there'd be that small moment where I'm like, am I okay? And then boom, I'm now I'm flooded with I'm.
Still waking up with anxiety every single morning.
How does it feel like? Because sometimes it's stomach, sometimes it's this, sometimes it's you can't breathe, you know, I mean okay.
So at first, like the stomach thing was terrible in the beginning, that has sodded a lot of way, like a lot of way, and which was really scary for me because I'm already pretty small person.
So I was like, very not.
And then it's more like in my chat like I just my heart, I just feel it. I'd my sobs, just feel anxious. So for me, the second my feet hit the floor in the morning, I go for a walk like I do, like a long walk, and that at this point gets it out. And if I stay busy, I'm okay. Like when I am busy and not focus on it at all, I'm okay. If I have too much time on my hands, I'm still kind of in it. But it's not debilitating.
At the moment.
Four months it was debilitating.
Mm hmm. I consider myself a pretty strong willed person. I know what I'm going through. That was the benefit of having been through it. I know I'm not dying. I know I'm going to get through it. I know there is light at the end of this tunnel. I have to ride it out. I have to keep my meditations going, I have to keep journaling, I got to keep working out, I got to keep you know, f positive affirmations and all of these things. Because that anxiety is roots and stems from something. You know, there is a chemical imbalance. I do believe that, but it there. There is a psychological component to it, so that means there's a way out. But if I was a weaker person and I thought this is it, I'm trapped like this forever. Sorry, I'm not going to keep going.
It's like, honestly, like I'm the same way. Like they're like suicide, Like that's just like not an option. Yeah, there are were days that I would say, like autruly, like I can't, I can't live like this. But like if this, like I don't know what I'm gonna do because I can't.
And then that perpetuates more anxiety. That's the fucked up thing about anxiety is that it's at this vicious cycle because you get anxious about being anxious.
That's I'm still there.
Oh, yeah, but again, like I really a lot of money is when I have addle time, like even on the weekends. I'm not like, I'm not a big outdoor person, so like I don't play sports or tennis or hike do things like that, So weekends are hard for me usually. But so has yours only happened when you've been off your lexapro or has yours that happened while if well on your lexapro? Are you totally fine?
I'm like you, I have sort of. I can have low grade anxiety around certain situations, you know, or sometimes I'll wake up I'm like, fuck, dude, I'm just anxious, God damn it, you know. But it's not that bedridden, debilitating like disassociation where I'm like, is life even real right now? Like I can't even even what's coming out of my vision doesn't feel like reality, you know. It's not like that. But my last really, my worst bout ever again two years ago, was me going trying to go off of lexic pro, weaning off of it because I'm like, I think I'm okay. It was just a bad choice and I did it correctly, but it just like just devastated me, Like I fucking put me down. And then I got a job and I'm like, oh my god, I got to go to Albuquerque to do this TV show. I can't I can't act like that. I can't go. I'll I literally cannot work. So I just went back on, you know.
And then it evens you completely.
Yeah, yeah, it's even me out.
You know.
There's no doubt though that it still pops its heat up. You know, if I drink too much and have a decent hangover, that kicks in, you know. I mean, there are certain times where it flares up, but it hasn't gotten to that point where it's just you know, gnarly, gnarally gnarly. But you know, it's I've had three really bad bouts in my life, and it's probably you know, it might happen again at some point, you know, but it's just I think I know how to manage it a little bit better. Yeah now, but it's still awful, and I'm glad you're talking about it, and you know, I think you're right. Even though we know that many, many, many many people suffer as well, and they know that people suffer as well, sometimes it's nice to hear that you're not alone, there's some camaraderie in it, you know, even with me. Of course, I'm like cerebrally, I know a lot of people have anxiety, but like if you and I are talking privately and you're like, oh my god, I'm fucked up, I'm like, oh my god, I'm sucked up too, there's a camaraderie there, totally.
No Honestly, I literally when I saw on your Instagram you talking about that happening to you a couple of years ago, I was like, immediately, I was like, oh god, yeah, like I'm not the only one. Not that you wish that on someone else to make feels there is this thing of like, oh, he went through that and he's on the other side of it.
That's hopeful.
You know, maybe you and I should start an anxiety club called Club Anxiety. Seriously, it's kind of a fucking Grady. Club Anxiety is kind of a funny name too, because it sounds like like a dance club.
I call this my anxiety era.
Like everybody's talking about the eras to our Taylor, I'm like, I'm been in my anxiety era. So but yeah, like I literally I want to talk about it as much as possible, because honestly, I look and I'm like, Okay, why have I going through this?
Why have I gone through this?
Like if I don't use it to help other people, then in a way, you know, what's the point, Like I there's nothing. I just think there's no shame in it. It's just something that you either happens to you or it doesn't. And if it does happen, it's fricking hard.
It's you know, but they're right there. There is that silver lining to all of and you may not see it now, but it definitely rears its head in the best possible way. I mean for me, it was even with my kid who's now seventeen, when he was in eighth grade, I kept him home from school for almost a month because he was going through he had anxiety, and I just knew what it was. I knew how to deal with it, you know, luckily for him. Yeah, and I was able to sort of, you know, have great conversations with him and give him some tools. So there was that, and then again and you're you know, you're in the spotlight, like you're a famous person, like you have that reach and the amount of people that I have some come into contact with who have said to me, you know your story has made me feel better, or inspired me, or has made me want to seek help in one way or another. And it feels pretty fucking great.
I know, you know totally.
I wanted this place called the Hoffman Institute, which I've talked to.
I've talked a bunch of trying to get her to go there.
Oh babe, Tish, should I go? It changed my whole shit?
I'll see, really, yes.
It changed my shit. It's been six years now. There's a honeymoon phase. There's no doubt, like when you come out of it. It's almost like your psychic I was like icee life totally differently. We get pounded again by life, and that's normal, but you have this wonderful toolbox to sort of draw from when you need it. The experience itself once you surrender to it and once you can commit to it, which took me two days to do because I was in my head like these fucking people are crazy. But I just said, you know what, Oliver, You're here, go And it was really an amazing experience. You just learned so much about yourself and you can break it all down and it's pretty amazing. I mean I had an incredible experience. Wow, Okay, I would do it. I would honestly give it a shot. What's your hesitation.
I don't know. I'm just scared to Like.
I love my house, I love being like and I'm at this place where and I have not been like this, where I have this sphere of being alone and it is not good, even alone for like a day or two, like breaks me out.
So I need to work through that for sure.
Yeah. Oh, what's the best time when you're the most afraid, you know, the worst time for in your mind, but the best time probably to deal with it. Yeah, it's been amazing. And I'm only to say that because I talked about on this show. I've talked about it on talk shows whatever, because you know, it's just a part of my life and the amount of letters that I have gotten because in the process, you know, and at the end, you write a letter to the people who inspired you to go. And I have hundreds of them, and it's been like, oh my god. I am an emotional person just generally, but I cry every time I read them because it just makes me feel amazing. You know.
Yeah, so many days did.
You go seven days. You go up there, no phone, no nothing. You literally check out. You don't bring books, you don't bring computers, you don't do anything. You can't run, you don't want to do yoga, you just want to, like, don't do anything. That's the idea. They literally say, please don't masturbate. I'm like, well, but no, you're not allowed. I'm like, how about just once?
The thought of setting and my thoughts and doing that thing is not okay?
Yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah that sound hard.
Okay, so real quick podcast, Give it to me. What are you guys doing, how long you've been doing it? Give me the whole give me al the deats doing it.
For a few years, it started out it was called sorry We're stoned because I love that freaking massive stoner and so funny.
Are you still smoking now that you it's killing me?
I want to, but honestly, I think at this point rotten now, Like it would just make me more anxious.
Yeah, because it goes both ways. Sometimes people smoke their weed to alleviate anxiety.
To see we can talk forever about this, because like I want to think if I smoked it would relieve it. But I'm so afraid it will do the opposite that now I'm scared to do it. But weed was I felt like weed was my medicine for a long time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's mine.
Yeah, So I like the thought of not smoking weed ever again, Like I don't I'm praying that's not the case that I can smoke again and that'd be okay. Yeah, I just don't know with my anxiety rotten now that that's probably the best thing. Yeah, it's been seven months for me and not smoked every day.
Yeah, you know, and.
I pray to God I get back there.
Well, once we connect, we'll get you back.
So now that I'm not smoking, and for other reasons, we did a rebrand and now it's called Sorry We're Cyrus, and we just we kind of just came back and have just started this this new era of the podcast. And it's been great because, you know, for a lot of people that didn't smoke, they it feels more inclusive now, brands aren't scared of us. So there were a lot of reasons that I think that it's been a good change.
Sure, but it's essentially the same podcast. It's always just been a mother daughter podcast and we you know, talk about mother daughter dynamics, family dynamics, but also just things that we have in common. My mom's very passionate about interior design. We had an interior design show a few years ago. Definitely do a little design segment in there. My mom loves giving advice. She's very good at it. So we have people send in questions and ask for advice about different things, anything from like relationships to you know, life advice and everything. And we've been like ramping up on our guests, like we've had some really cool guests on and it's cool to almost keep the format loose kind of. I mean, your format seems so loose to it's great because then you can just really like loose their stories and kind of see where the conversation takes you. And it's been really fun and I feel like it's been really relatable, and yeah, I'm we're excited to get well.
It's also cool to work with your mom and you work with your daughter.
It's also an opportunity like today to talk about hard subjects and make people less alone. And like you have so many people say, oh my god, I love the podcast because it feels like we're just hanging out with you guys, and you know you're just like us, and so it's honestly really rewarding to do.
I love it.
Yeah, well cool, it has been great. I appreciate you know your can and I think it's all important stuff to talk about. And uh, and and let me know if you want me to be a guest. I'm down to come on the podcast.
Oh that would be amazing. I would love that.
Yeah, one hundred percent. You can ask me anything, Okay, great, anything. Well, this is so fun. Thank you guys so much for coming on. And uh will definitely connect and everyone listening to this podcast. And I want to come on because I want to be grilled. I want I want you guys to grill me.
Oh I can't wait.
I dare you to come up with a question that I don't answer. How about that? Oh yeah yeah, just let me know I'm down. Okay, it's good talks, all right, guys.
Later
