She made us laugh in the comedy series "The King of Queens," but her life behind the scenes was no laughing matter.
Actress Leah Remini joins Cheryl to talk about how her time on Season 17 of DWTS saved her after just leaving Scientology. She went from losing a community to finding a new one, revealing that Cheryl and Tony were her first non-Scientology friends.
Plus, she shares the unrealistic expectations she put on herself and what she would do differently now.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is Sex Lies and Spray Tands with Me Cheryl Burke and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Hey guys, welcome to Sex Lies and Spray Tands. Today is a special day and you'll find out soon as to why it is a special day. So before I do that, though, I wanted to give you guys my listeners heads up that this interview will be another two parter because it's going to be that good, with part one being the usual format obviously, and then there's a twist, and I thought, who better to interview me than who you are about to hear from, So you know, let's just flip everything on its head a little bit and have a part two of this interview be of my guest interviewing me.
That's right, yeah, heard me.
I will finally be interrogated by someone who is definitely familiar with being interrogated herself, and who knows me more than I actually know me at times, I guess maybe once in a while. Anyway, I'd only trust her to actually take the reins. So let's just get on to it. Okay, the interview. It is COVID right now, So many of you guys know my next guest as someone who tells it as it is and who always makes you laugh.
But to me, the woman behind all.
Of the glitz and glam is someone who is honestly, brave, courageous, and an inspiration to me and millions of others. On a personal note, I've been blessed to have her a part of my inner circle. My guest has been nothing short of supportive, honest, sometimes too honest, and one of my top five closest people in my life who I consider a part of my family. She was my maid of honor. Now if that hasn't given it away, I'm not sure what will. She has seen me at my best and my worst and has loved me through it all, and more importantly, I can always count on her to have my back through the ups and downs without feeling judged. Please welcome my friend, my ride or die as they say, Leah remedy, Hi baby?
How are you?
You know how I'm doing?
We look very Christmasy together, we do.
I felt like this was like our going into our full holiday look winter.
Yes, ho ho ho, yes we are. I miss you. It's so weird that I'm not like sitting next to you or I have seen you in about how long has it been like a year?
No, I don't tell people that because that's not true, and then tell people that we're best friends when we just spoke for three hours on FaceTime.
We are best friends.
That's what I'm saying. You can't ask like stupid questions like how are you because then yeah, you're right as a listener, I go, well, how close are you? If you're asking how my kid is?
Speaking of your kid? I s talked her on Instagram last night?
So do I see if you get her text you back?
I mean DM me? She does DM me back.
Okay, that's good, that's yeah.
Yes, I think I could be probably the only one that's associated with you that she dms back.
You and Michelle Massage.
Oh really that's good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that me and Michelle you know how to DM Maybe.
Not mommy, no, no, no, no no, but not her.
She's lived her life.
She really is. Yes, I'm very proud of her.
Yes, I mean like living okay, good, yes.
And you know anyway, so yes, she's doing well. And what you meant by that is that you used to live three minutes from me door key door, and now you have moved for I'll say it.
Yeah, it feels like far away, but it's not that far.
But it's far, but it's just different. When it's like we were saying, it's like when you know the person is right there. It's not that we saw each other every day but a lot, and now it's like you just so anyway.
It's now you have to plan. We have to plan to see each other, which I am.
You know, we're so.
You know, I'm very impressed with your makeup skills.
Thank you.
Those lashes are did good. Oh my god, like the best I've ever seen you. I thought Karina did. Karina is our makeup artist. I thought Karina did your makeup. She does, but I thought she did it today?
Oh what it come? Well? I hope when she sees us, she's not horrified because she doesn't love why I do my makeup so or she doesn't want to. She does when she does your makeup and then you ruin it when she leaves. She's not too happy that you're running around saying that she did your right right.
Well whatever, it's our face, huh. Okay. So have you ever heard sex lives and spray tnds before?
I have? And it's great, but you. Sometimes you scare me, that's all, you know. I always always want the best for you. I always want the best.
For you, I know. But why am I scaring you?
Listen your family to me and so and people say this to me right about what the work that I do. And you do have to tell your truth and your experiences or your experiences right, and they're very real. And it's just that, you know, I always want things to be good for you and your relationships. And although some of those relationships are are are hard to deal with because there's trauma involved, and how long you've been involved with the show, and not not even just a much in the show. I think anybody who knows you and knows your story, you know, the dance world could be an amazing place, but it can also be a very toxic and abusive place for young women and young boys who often get into dance and the dance world competitive dance world, you know, at the age of five. And so I think people not understanding that history could maybe misunderstand, you know, the stories that are being told. You know. And by the way, you're I'm not even talking about you, I'm saying other people coming on and sharing their truths are their truths, you know, and and unless you've been there, right, which I wasn't a competitive dancer as a young girl being sent off, you know, not with my family at the age of twelve, thirteen, fourteen, and I would never consider it for my own daughter. It's just absolutely nothing like not on this planet, over my dead body, what thatever happen? And so you know, things could happen, and things had have happened. And when people even do the show, it's traumatic, you know, And I don't think people understand that, right, especially coming from a non dance world, because people see the show as, you know, just a dance show. But it's like if you've never danced in your life, you've never done a live show, you know, these things could be very traumatic. You're very intimate with somebody you don't know, and you're being vulnerable with somebody you don't know because all your fears, every all your insecurities have to come out in day one and so you're open. And now remember when I was when I did the show. They had asked me, you know, every year, five years prior to me saying yes, and when I finally said yes, and by the way, my agent didn't want me to do the show. He's like, you shouldn't do the show. It's a bad look. My agent at the time, I should say you shouldn't do the show. It's a bad look. It's for celebrities who are trying to resurrect their careers, and it's very obvious that they're doing it. And you know, I might have had that idea as well, which is why I said no, because I wasn't I didn't watch the show, but I knew of it, of course, right it was a big hit on ABC. But I I was just leaving Scientology after you know, being in Scientology for thirty five years, and Dina Katz had asked me, do you want to do the show this year again? And my first reaction was no, because I was thinking I was going to hide. And then I said, well, wait a minute, you know, why would I hide like that? Like I just lost all my community, all my friends and Scientology overnight. Why why don't I do something new, try something new, do something that's scary. And so ultimately I said yes despite what my agent said, and I found in you, in Tony Dovolani in the show a community And remember I had just lost my whole community, right, and so it really was a very an important moment in my life. It was the first thing I had done since Scientology. And you know you were my first You and Tony were my first friends and I you know, I told you you knew a little bit because of the news, right, But then you, you and I became close like that, and you were my one of my protectors. And you know it was very important to me. The show was very important to me. And again I don't have your experience. I wasn't on the show for you know, to over two decades. I didn't have a history of trauma, you know, like you and the dance world I had. I had my own trauma from Scientology, right. But for me, it was very important the show, you know what I mean, because of what it helped me to do. And look at the friends that I have because of it today, Like no, for sure, very like you. I consider you family. We in our family's vacations together. And you know, Tony when he's here, like he was just here last night for the last couple of days, and you know I consider him and Lena his wife family. You know, Tony stayed here for I don't know six months when he was here doing this, you know, you know, so you know, So anyway, I wanted to start with that because because that's where I'm coming from, Like, right, but I'm not mad at you in any way or shape or form for what your experiences are because they're very, very real. Yeah, I just get said.
If anyone knows it's real to you.
No crap. And but at the same time, but.
I'm I mean, but also I'm not saying I'm literally not talking about your experiences as much.
No, you're not talking about your experience. Other people are and I don't know, I don't know how that's affecting them. If that's affecting them at all, Well, I just hope it isn't, because people need to understand that it's it's not about you know, the work that I do, the work that you do, because I know a lot of what you're doing and want to do and continue to do is in the field of mental health and healing. Right, Sometimes people don't understand that the truth for you, the truth for me, the truth for victims, the truth for survivors hurts, and it's not personal. It's not personal. It's your own pain. Your own journey, that person's journey, how they perceived it, whether they're right or wrong, it's how they are experiencing it, right, it's sing something for them or it triggered something for them. And it has nothing to do with you. It's not a slap in the face to anybody or to your history to the show. It has to do with your experience and how you are experiencing it.
Amen, I mean honestly want to make that point, you know, And that was a really great point. It was almost as if I sent you my questions because you basically covered half the interview already. Thank you. No, No, it's good, it's all good. I love you so much.
But I interview people and when they give me one word answers, you know, because I get yelled at a lot on Twitter, like my fans, I love them so much because they're so they're literally the best people ever, but they're like, hey, let people talk. What they don't understand is sometimes, you know, you get one word answers when you're interviewing people, so you fill in, you know, to be gracious to them.
No, totally, I don't have to worry about that with you though, Okay, I literally didn't I could. I don't even have to be here. I mean, you know everything now, thank you for clarifying that, and I understand your worry and concern, but I also understand that you have my back. But even if you weren't my friend, let's say, I think you would still be like, this is just her experience. This has been my life, yeah, similar to how scientology in a way has been yours for decades. And it goes but beyond answering with the stars. But I always and I have to like and I don't have any shame when I say, first of all, I am so grateful to the show for connections that I've made on the show, but also for being able to give us a platform to do what we love to do regardless, point blank, and it is what it is. I think people sometimes don't want to hear the good and they gravitate, obviously, or the headlines gravitate obviously towards something controversial. And that's just the business that we're in. And it must seem that I am trashing this show, but I am not. If they actually listen to it, right, if it's really it's just about horse, it's not even me and my experiences. It's literally it's my guests experiences. And as I'm answering a question.
That's a Mentionine, you're a professional. You've also you're a teacher, and that's that you're allowed to have an opinion. Now, if that opinion is ruffling feathers over there or anybody's feathers over there, you know, you're allowed to. You're allowed and entitled to your professional opinion.
I think it's shocking maybe that I have an opinion, because I well, they.
That they met you. I mean, if it's shocking, I don't know who they who they've known for the last twenty thousand seasons.
I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Look, I wish I knew. I mean, maybe you know more than I do, since you've seen Tony and as everyone knows too. I'm not a part of this, Len Goodman, you know, should you know?
I think it is unfortunate, you know, because it's I don't It's It's not like I said, you can't take these things personal. It's not an affront to the show, right. You've always been very gracious and appreciative of being there and for having the opportunity and you're one of the you know, baddest dancers on that show, you know, And I just feel like these things they go too far when it's when it's when you're not there, I think you should have been there. But I also think, you know, whatever this lesson is, this experiences like, I think it'll eventually get to another to a better place.
Absolutely, because again I think also with maybe the timing as well with the shows going on, you know, who knows. At the end of the day, I know I can sleep at night knowing that I am I have more than once, more than one hundred times express my gratitude.
It's okay to talk about something that is very much part of your life and something you should be talking about. I don't think you shouldn't be. This is what you've done most of your life. Why would talk about a show that you've been part of, that you're an integral part of and people want to hear about it, And I think people want to hear about other people's experiences, and people clearly are listening and being entertained. And I say, more power to you, honey.
Thank you. And it also gives people like you guys a platform as well. The amount of people that need closure, even the first ever celebrity who got voted off to Sutter. You know it is actually I could tell they have a lot to say.
Yeah, you're absolutely right, it is a very like I said, it was such an important time in my life and I wrote about it in my book, but it was also you know, but we never got to like chat about it like in a fun way, right, And I never got to, you know, really talk about my experiences with you. I think, you know, I have interviews here and there. Yeah, but yes, I think people want to hear the behind the scenes.
We're going to talk about all of your experiences because you, like you said, you wrote a book about it, or a part of your book was about it, but you never got a chance to really let it all out. So let's first start with did you choose Tony as your partner?
Yes? Why because he was married and you know, I didn't know the shenanigans that going on. You know that goes on on a dance show. So you know, when I told Angelo, my husband, that I would you know it's going to do doing dance with the starge, He's like, who you're dancing with? I'm like, like, you know, the show, like you want to show you pictures or you know. So I said, I said, I'll pick a married guy. So I looked at the cast, you know. I went on lone and I looked at the cast, and then I googled everybody, and I wanted to see, like who was married, you know, with kids, they would understand, you know, so we kind of have a similar life. And so that's why I picked Tony.
But was there anyone else married at the time. I don't think so, I don't know.
I just remember seeing Tony and that he was from the East Coast and I was like, oh, okay, because he might deal with me.
Yeah, was it between like him and Max? Maybe?
No, Max wasn't on the show, Oh it was.
He wasn't right, he was not on the show, correct, Yeah.
So he wasn't part of the pool to pick from, you know. But I did ask Dina originally, like I said, like, who's on the show like Max? Because I thought, you know, Max had danced with somebody else and I didn't know if Max would you know. So She's like, no, Max is not on the show. I was like, oh, okay.
First of all, you had to tell her a story about how we fell in love. Please okay, me and you were in the makeup trailer.
We're in the makeup trailer and another answer what you know? And you know, I was very nervous, as you know, like it was like all new to me, like being in a trailer with you know, people I didn't know, and I didn't know, like, do you know, do they want to be talked to the other celebrities?
You know.
I was just kind of feeling very much alone. It wasn't my makeup artist, it was Patty, it was the show's you know, so I didn't know like do I do I say, look, I want my makeup like this? Or do I shut my mouth? I don't know, like do I you know, Usually in a trailer, makeup trailer, you're you know, with your casts, you're talking what do you do? What did you do last night? But everybody was just kind of silent, which is very odd for a makeup trailer. Usually there's music, people carrying on, and it was like very quiet, and you were sitting in your chair with your makeup artist and uh zena right, yeah, amazing. By the way, they're both the mat to all the people love. Amazing amazing clam team. So you know, you're on your phone. I'm on my phone. And then another dancer had walked in, another pro, and this pro is very loud and talking like about very personal things. And I was very shocked, like I was like, oh, I guess maybe you know, but I realized the person wasn't talking to any one person because I thought, well, maybe this person it was like you know, overall a lot of people, and and it was. It was. There was a lot going on at a lot of personal information. Like I said, so you had given me your number like the day before, and I just texted you and I said, is this normal for this person? And you said very We're just all very used to it. That's why we have headphones on and and we cursed back and forth.
The rest is history, and.
We were like besties from that point.
Oh my god that it was so much better when you told this story at my wedding. But sorry, guys, you know, there's boundaries here. We're gonna have to die.
There's boundaries here. We're gonna you know, I don't want.
To like, uh you know, yeah, no, I get it. You don't want to ruffle any feathers and.
By the way, you know, I have a three billion dollar cult after me, So anything I say that right about Bord they will use to try to destroy my career in life. But other because than.
That Merry Christmas, you never saw Dancing with the Stars, so you had no Did you not have anything to compare it to? Do you think that, like did you know how intimate it was?
Or no? No, you had no idea at alst I wasn't unaware of the show. I don't want to act like.
You know, I know, but you don't know what ballroom dancing was.
Obviously I didn't know what ballroom dancing was. I thought like, oh, my husband, you know, dances salsa. He taught me how to dance salsa like I did tap. I tap danced where I was like five for maybe three weeks, and I was like, you know, maybe I'll do a little tap.
You know can tell you did tap because they watched your videos.
No, like, I really didn't know that it was literally ballroom dancing. And the hard job of this for somebody who has never danced, especially on a live show, like if it was film like I would have loved to have been on during COVID, like I would have Cheryl to not have to be live. Every week we went live, Cheryl, I would hope that there was a mini earthquake and I'd say, God, don't kill anybody. I just I just don't want an audience there, like.
That's what it is.
I just wanted to if we could just tape the show, got it been great if it was taped, pre taped, I would have been in heaven. But live dancing like, I'm not a dance So you hear that I'm not a dancer, and that annoyed the crap out of me too, And I said it maybe a million times during.
My time, You're not a dancer.
No, But what I should have said, what I should have said is I'm not used to doing live shows in something I have never learned. Because that's really the truth, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, I hear you, because after a while you all said, you told me you're annoying. Now stop saying in your interviews that you're not a dancer. Every celebrity says that, but you don't realize it until later. You think that's going to get you points with the order. You think that people understand what you're saying, but the truth of the matter is when you said this to me, and Tony had said this to me every single day, who thinks you're a dancer. Nobody thinks you're a dancer.
You have to remind people. You have to remind people.
No, it's annoying, Cheryl, because not only did I do it a thousand times a day on camera, I'm not a dancer. You know, I'm not a dancer. I'm not a dance You know everybody, I'm not a dancing Like, no shit, you're not a dancer. Okay, no shit. But the problem was that what what what I should have said is what I already said, which is I'm not used to doing something live that I have never done. Right right, right, assuming we're not dancer, Cheryl. Right, like, people knew I wasn't a dancer because I said it in my you.
Know, listen, we can tell exactly.
So that's why, like Tony would say, what makes you think, why are you comparing it? Because I would watch you and Karina and I'm like, and he would go, That's what he said to me, He goes, are you insane? Why would you compare yourself to Cheryl and Karna they are like they've won co professional competition, ballroom dancingly, they've been dancing since they're five. And I said, I think the problem is, like we were just talking about this last night, I said, Tony, because we're still I'm still going over we still have trauma because of what I put him through.
Perfect example, sorry, perfect example as to why this podcast is needed, go ahead.
Exactly, and that I'm still talking to Tony about it ten years later. And I said to him, I think what I didn't realize, Tony, was because I was I had accomplished, you know, this kind of professionalism in my career. We expect to be those professionals when we show up to a professional job, right, Like we've been hired to do that, this kind of professional job. And you're telling me like and he's like teaching me, like can you pick your head up? What are you looking down at the floor. Let's start with that, Leah, Like you need to look at me, honey, you know what I mean. You need to like be proud like of what you're doing. And I was like right, and he's like, you know what I mean? Because I was like so scared to be seen as not good at something that I was being paid to be therefore, and I felt like I was not being a professional, and I had these really, really un what's the word I'm.
Looking for, unrealistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations of myself. And then my defense mechanisms would would come into play when my teacher Tony would say, Okay, honey, so I'm going to teach you at Chatsha and you know it's and I'm like, wait, what is it? And he's like and I'm like, I lost it. I lost it, and he's like, calm, like, Hony, a little bit. You told me, just told me, you just showed me. And I and I'm spinning out of control. And as you know, it's not just teaching your celebrity, you know, to dance, right, it's teaching your celebrity a dance and also ballroom technique, which is frame, which is feet, which is rhythm, you know, a timing. Each dance has a certain timing, each dance has a certain look, each dance has a certain this, and you know, you guys have to teach us that in five days. On top of that, we're asked to do interviews, We're asked to meet with wardrobe. We're asked to go to different studios, you have different times that you're dancing, and on top of that, your body is falling apart. I have never been to a doctor so much in a week. I was going to get shots constantly. I cracked the rib ones. I mean like it was whatever I did to the rib. I don't know if I actually cracked it sound you know, it's like, I mean, shoulder went out. I got like it was next one out. Your body's in the shock, in shock. And I loved every minute of the dancing with Tony, with being with you, with being with the crew, the best crew, like you know this, Cheryl. I. I made Dancing with the Stars my home, our dance. It was Halloween, Literally it was Halloween. I got us a bar outside, I got I got hay delivered to the outdoora I got pumpkins with everybody's name on it. We were buying food, bought brought candles, brought fans like, made dinner reservations for everybody. We all hung out, like I feel like I was trying to create a community that I had did that I lost right and and then you and I were going out after and you know me, you and the dancers were going dinner after and it was like I had found like new friends, and I'm dancing and I'm learning something new and I'm being embraced by all of you, and you know what I mean. Like it was so many things and at the same time really really scary and and and heartbreaking because we want to do so well for you guys, Because again, I don't think people realize what you, guys as the pros, have to do each week. It's not isn't this cute show up in your freaking leggings and cute outfit. It is hard work. Not only do you have to choreograph the dance, you have.
To we have our own insecurities when we choreograph as well.
Yes, and you're given a song that you really don't have any choice over sometimes, but you know, in my season, I did, Thank god, I gave them Melissa songs that they used and I was lucky. But you, as the pro, not only do you have to be in charge of your celebrity, you have to basically hold your celebrity's hand through every meeting, through every master interview they have to do, and they have to do several interviews throughout the week. On top of dancing four hours a day, learning choreography, you guys are reviewing the choreography, changing the choreo.
Talk to the producers to try and get the creative. And if we hate the creative, you know, we have to battle with that.
You battle with that, you have to go back and forth. Then you deal with the band and the wardrobe and the wardrobe department. You're you're basically, you know, your mouthpiece for your celebrity. If your celebrity is not happy with their wardrobe, you know, you're you're fighting that battle for them. And again, wardrobe is always very happy to accommodate any celebrit because I know, I had so many body issues and they were trying to put me in starts like I hate my legs, I sell you like you know, and Danielle was amazing beautiful, you know, and she was such an amazing artist. You know, she used to sit there and like sketch Tony would say, you know, I want Lea to have fringe.
And she was the best wardrobe in the business. I'm so happy that this season they're actually using them to their what they do, their strengths. You know, that's just what I used to say.
Yeah, that's what I used to say, used to say, this should be part of the show. This is so much more interesting to me behind the scenes, what goes on with the crew.
They should do a day in a life of a pro dancer.
I agree, and the celebrity, you know, being back. I remember one time I Derek was across from me in the trailers and he was listening to a.
Motivational Tony Robbins.
I don't I don't remember, but he was like just kind of really focused, and I was like, that's what I should be doing. I mean, that's what I should be doing instead of like my blue belt, and uh, you know, I was. I was trying to film him and I was going to ask him if I could post it, but it was it was too far away. But you know, I was telling Dida again, what goes on behind here is so interesting between you know, people like freaking out getting pep talks while they're they're pros. I mean, how many times did I cry in Tony's arms, like I don't want to go out there, I'm going to forget everything, and I would forget everything, and like I would blank go blank. When we would start and then come out of it and go, did I do it? Did I? You know?
Yeah, so you blacked out? So I think that was we did talk about that. We talked about that, how like I think we were talking about randomly about how when we get mad, like what is your instant reaction and what And it's the same for when I perform, which is I black out like I don't really remember what's going on. But for performers as you, I don't know if you ever felt that when you act at all, but like it is that fourth state of consciousness you are hitting this interesting I guess, like it's like having an outer body experience and yet like the motions are still happening, and you had no idea what you remembered when you go to the judge's table.
And I didn't like that because I remember, like now imagine like because people, let me just clear this up, because a lot of people say, you're an actress, like, how is it that this bothers you so much? When you're acting? You're talking to like, so the audience is there, let's say, right, the audiences out there and the cameras are this way, right, that's the fourth wall, right, so I would just be talking to you pretending that they're not there. That's that's when you're acting. You're not acknowledging the audience, and you're not acknowledging cameras. Right, A live show is you know, you're engaging, you're acknowledging, you're breaking this fourth imaginary wall that's there. So you're not allowed to break fourth wall when you're doing a sitcom or acting or in a movie, you know, I mean, unless you know the movie says no.
I hear you. I hate when dancers dance to the cameras. It's not my favorite at all. I feel like it should be like the acting in a way.
Right, however, so, but the fact that there's a camera right here ring around your face, which is not normal for sitcom acting or movie acting. Right, it's they're further away and the zoom they zoom in so they have their own spot, but they're not so having a camera like. It was very kind of like and then you're looking out and you're seeing your mother, you're seeing your daughter, you're seeing your husband, and they're like you know or whatever, and you're like what what? And they It would throw me off because I'm just not used to looking out into an audience. And again it's live, which is like if you screw up, and that's not what I'm used to, you know, used to taping shows in front of live audience, but you're not allowed to really look at them, make eye time top and you're not you know, unless we're not filming. So it is very different a live show. But what bothered me like when I we would do King of Queens sometimes if Kevin and I didn't know our lines, let's say, we would get this kind of glaze like we would know and Kevin we would start laughing immediately because we would see it in each other, like get here. Like so we started to do before we started filming. I go, do you see me? And he goes not yet? And I go, okay, do you know here? You go do you see me? I go, not yet. So even though we were standing there, we like really couldn't we weren't present. I wished that I was present in my dance because it would have made me feel grounded and I would have, you know, maybe felt better about what I did or didn't do.
I hear you, I hear you. That's actually really interesting because it is in a way, it's like, yes, I also wish I could say the same thing that I was present as well, because you know it is it's very much like what's next, what's next? Yes, now that you've judged, and you've guess judged Dancing with the Stars, you also were a judge on so you think you can dance, I guess from Like I'm genuinely asking too, it's what is your Has your perspective changed at all? And if you did Dancing with the Stars, let's say again for all Stars, would you do anything different now that you were at the judges table?
Yeah, because you know, I was just talking to Tony about this. I said, you know, with what you know now, the knowledge that you have now about the show, about yourself, about celebrities, you know, hearing from me for the last ten years of what you know, I could have done better? You could have done better?
Right?
What would you have done differently? Which is a question I'm going to ask you later. But the answer for me, Cheryl is I wish that I had had more fun. I wish that I wasn't I was an approving moment, like I'm proving that I'm not hiding from scientology. And I'm proving that I'm not, you know what I mean, I'm winning in life and all of that negativity that I was bringing right when I should have just said, Leah, you left something that occult. You should celebrate that. Don't think about winning and proving to anybody that you're doing so much better in life. I wasn't.
I was in pain, but you had already won from leaving the call exactly.
And had I gone in with just Leah, You're not going to win a mirror ball. And even if you do, good for you, but don't go for the experience and what is supposed to be will be. It's in a higher power control anyway. Like, just go into it with no expectations, no proving anything to anyone. Just have fun and experience what is, experience what is? And I would have had I feel like a lighter heart going into it, even though my heart was broken from what I had just experienced, you know, leaving something known my whole life. I should have. I should have really appreciated this freedom, you know what I mean?
And with all of this being said, of course, but I think it's harder to actually do that than what we may think it is like in a way, Leah, like, are you living your life like that? Now? Like as much as I would love to stay present, I find it very challenging still to not worry or have anxiety about the future. And that is the ultimate though, is to have peace as to the now and to where I'm at. You know, takes I think it's really hard. Takes practice, right, That's.
What it is. You know. It's like when when people give me quotes and send me quotes or send me books, I go, this is all great. You know, my therapist says, what are you doing, Leah? We have to act actively every day where do things? And you know it's little things like you know, if you use your right hand to pick up your coffee cup, use your left hand. This trains you to start to make changes, right. It's like if this room bothers, you move the vase that you see every day in that one spot to another spot. Just change something. If you're a hoarder, you know, get something that you can part with that you.
You want to retrain.
You know, if they're any change your brain. For example, I was just in Vegas, right My instinct, Cheryl, is to say, who's going to be there? I don't want because you know, I got people following me from Scientology harassing me, so I got to make sure that blah blah, you know, and is there a private because I don't want you know, Scientology taking pictures of me, and you know, but just say yes, like of course you've been for lunch. If somebody says you want to go to lunch, I'm like, oh, should I go? I mean really I have things to get of course, right, And I started saying, yes, okay, everything went wrong with this trip, okay, to go see Kevin James.
Everything I know, I saw, I saw you. I saw you on Instagram.
Karina, who I was driving with, she had to get Empires on her truck and she had no appointment to do so. She got sick, her husband got sick, who was driving ies broke out in hives. I don't know what I'm allergic to. All of a sudden, I'm just breaking out in hives. Okay, like everything. Her family, she had eight people coming. They all canceled last minute. They didn't because this one got sick, this one got COVID. Then she realized, oh my god, it's my granddaughter's birthday, which I'm supposed to go to and if we're going to go, we got to leave at like five in the morning on side. So everything was going wrong, right the reason you shouldn't go? And I said, Karina, we're going. We're going. And I got to see Kevin and spend time with my friend Kevin James that I love so very much and I love being around He makes me happy, right, I know. And I was talking about that with therapist. She's like, I need a list of people who make you happy, because we're going to do this this year. We're finding joy. We're saying yes to lunch, We're saying yes to get out of our comfort zone. We're saying yes to throwing away you know, decorations you don't use. You know, like we're going to say yes. We're going to start saying yes to things. Right, so every day we're going to do a yes. We're to say yeah. So I was like, Karina, we're saying yes to this. We're going. We're going. I need joy. I want to be with my family. My mother went, my sister and Nicole went, my brother in law who makes me laugh.
Thanks for the invite.
You're not going to Vegas.
You would have gone twice. You would have gone if I got invited.
Don't say that because a lot of times you say shit like that and it's not true. You would have.
Gone if I got invited.
All right, I should have invited.
Thank you, thanks for taking because.
You're a no person too, So that's why I didn't think, oh, totally yes, but you're right. But I feel like I'm ready for Vegas. I've been there twice now. And you know what we did, Cheryl. So my mom went, my stepfather George went right, we all went right. Okay. My niece Brianna like came in like i'd her boyfriend. So it was just a family things.
A family that's great.
We all sat like in Kevin's room, talked about our kids, talked about our lives, went to eat dinner together. You know, like I threw one hundred dollars in a machine. My brother in law hit the wrong button. He lost it in one bed. I was like, huh, okay, great uh, And then you know, we just hung out with each other, right, and then we went to go see Kevin's show, and then we drove home and I was like, I was so proud of myself for doing it. But that's my long wind.
I'm proud of you, by the way, too, for being present. So that was what I was going to ask, like, what have you done recently that you know? And obviously that's a big deal. It's like you stepped out of your comfort zone. Yes, So with Dancing with the Star, that's.
What I would have done differently, right, I would I see it now, like as a judge, right, as a judge, because I did Dance with the Stars, but I also judged on So you think you can dance, and so you think you could dance, it's not you know, ballroom. But for me, it was always about the emoting right. It's about the character, right, because I'm an actress, right, I'm like, all of these kids can dance amazing, So you think you could dance.
Right they're professionals, yes.
No, But my point was what else should you bringing me? I want to challenge the script? To me, the song is the script, right, and I want to see that acted out in your dance, right. And I would have given myself that note to to do a character in my dances, Like that's a note that I would give all of you as pros, like give your student or your partner. Yeah, celebrity a character to play, because it's very hard for non dancers to be making all those faces you people make, you know, with the you know, like all that stuff like you guys can turn it on like this no problem, because no matter who you're dancing with, if you're dancing with a refrigerator, you could be sexy, right, but we're not trained that way. It's very it makes us uncomfortable to make those kinds of faces and be that dramatic. But as an actress, I could do it. If you say, look, this is your character and this is the story of the song, then it's almost like I have an excuse to act like that. Yeah, I mean so, yes, I'm seeing it a little differently now as a judge, I understand you know what I'm looking for as I want to feel something watching you, and I want to especially with Dance with the Stars, because if you have a male celebrity that can't dance the tricks that you pros use as a female, can you know dancer on the show. You know, you guys can dance around your celebrity and make them look good, you know, because you're like you put your leg up in his.
Face, I can't put my like I never did that.
But but you still have to dance around them because if they can't move their feet, you know what I mean, it's hard to tell somebody who's ninety three, like move your ass, you know what I mean? True, So you know it's a little bit easier in that way sometimes. But when I so, I was taking that into consideration when I was watching and judging, like, I'm not going to fall for the tricks of the trade here where if you have a male celebrity. But I was also watching for things that I felt were important improvement.
How would you do that if you didn't see or judge prior to that, like as a guest judge, No.
Because I would have watched the shows I would have.
So you're comparing the celebrity to himself or herself, that's what you're saying, correct, got it?
If you're doing a jive one week and then a rumba the next week, like one really has nothing to do with the other. Right, you can take what you've learned in the jive into a rumba. Yes, I wasn't judging on that. I was judging on are you doing what I know to be somewhat of cha cha, and I would ask people. I would say, you know, I would ask you. I would ask some you know, is this a proper chat cha? Because I'm not going to pretend to know you know what I mean like technical things, but I also have to feel something and I have to say, what is this? I was taking into consideration what this person's dance experience is. If they had none, they probably did amazing and I want to give them points for being amazing for doing a chat cha for the first time in their lives on a live show.
Are the judges scripted on Dancing with the Stars or do they tell you what I just want to I know the answer to this, but I want my audience just to know as well.
Coming from a judge, Here's what I can tell you from this show and from other dance shows. You have to watch the rehearsal. It's a live shows rehearsal, a dress rehearsal, because you have no way of knowing. And as a judge, I don't think people realize this either. The pressure you are being told you have ten seconds to say whatever you want to say. Say now, what they do in dress rehearsal is for example, when I was on the show. Sometimes I do amazing in dress rehearsal, but most of the times I screwed it up because I didn't realize I was anybody was really watching for you know, for critique, right, because I was, so do they judge you off your dress about like doing a dress rehearsal, so I would you know, you save it for the show, for the live show, the energy, right, so you kind of phone it in, right, But then for example on and So, you think they would tell you, they would tell the dancers always dance full out because the judges are going to watch the dress rehearsal, but they saw us. We were sitting out there, so they saw us, unlike on Dancing with the Stars where they don't have the actual judges during dance rehearsal, but they're watching the rehearsal, or they're.
While you're getting ready, you're watching rehearsal, correct, Because I have a question, Yeah, no, of course, I know. I just want my audience to know and listeners. But at the end of the day, what if your dress arssal, like you said, is stronger than your live performance, are you being judged off your dress assal? Because they can't see anything with the cameras all in their face their side.
I didn't, you know. I was very aware of that because I have my own experience, like I right, so I but I would have to write my overall thoughts because the overall dance is not going to change, right, and you have ten seconds, and you have ten seconds and sometimes if you have other judges, you know, they're taking your time, and the producers are very clear they say, don't go over time your time because you're taking from somebody else who already has something to say, right, so you know, and if that's not adhere to, and something let's say happens right on the live show that you didn't see, you know, you have to kind of write down and be kind of coherence in.
The seconds to react.
Yes, And it's very it's not easy to judge. I didn't realize how, you know, difficult it was, but you know, a lot of time I was like just kind of gasping for to say that, you know, what I wanted to say to get my thoughts. But for me, it was always about performance. Technical things. You could be technically correct and give me nothing, you know, like make me feel nothing like you singers right perform and they're smiling through a sad song. You're like, why it's weird you're not saying I want now. I'm like out, like you know, you're not taking you.
Want to feel something like when I watch a movie, I want to feel something nice. Two people dancing.
Dancing feel something art. Music is art.
Yeah, these are all full of emotion.
Yes, I want to see that you know what the song is in your dance, in your face, in your movement, and you know you And by the way, the other thing Cheryl don't think people really get is how obsessed I've become with dance since doing with Dancing with the Stars, that I have built my own studio, that I have pro like I have dance teachers.
I try to literally she's a dance mob.
Like I love dancing like I but I don't love performing because you as you know, when people come into my dance studio, I'm like, what can I do for you?
They're like, oh, I just want you know, like you guys, hold on, I have to say you're so good now, like you're like you were good before, but you're like, if you did Dancing with the Stars again, you would freaking kill it, Leah. Let's move on to fan questions at Sarah Welsh nine nine, Leah, who's your favorite male pro on Dancing with the Stars And you can't say all of them?
Who's favorite male pro currently currently?
Yes?
Okay, so we have who do we have? Val? And Pop?
Have Val? Sasha Artem Gleb, Sasha, Pasha?
Oh but I would say Pasha and Val?
Okay, all right, all right? At m Patterson nineteen, as a guest judge, did production influence your scoring at all?
I do argue my points right, like I do say why I'm going to score this person higher because they danced?
Because the judges' scores are never like so out of you know, it's always like within one or two points.
You don't want to give a ten when you really technically, Lea, she didn't really do it great, you know. I'm like, yeah, you're right, that's a good point. So they were saying like as a technical part, like she wasn't really doing a ten rumba, but I was. I would give it to just for being there.
Mean, do you give everybody a ten?
Especially when you know somebody like Lenn who you know is so accomplished in his field. You know, it's like if lenn is saying like, that's not a ten, Leah, like you know, Rumba, you got to listen.
Right absolutely, which because that yeah, when you get a ten from Len, that's a big deal. Correct.
So if he says to me, not so much on the ten, I understand and appreciate what you're saying, but it's not a ten, like from a judge's perspective. That's why I would be like, Okay, I see you're saying one more.
Dancing with the Stars related to fan question at DWTS report, were you in the running to co host with Alfonso if not, which you have to.
I was never in the running. And you know, for me, I think who they have is perfect. I think Julianne is amazing. And no, I don't think that I would want to be a judge on there because you know, for me, I have to say things and you know that's not the job, right because I would be like yelling at people and the judges.
I thought you were great at it.
I mean, listen, I love being there in any capacity, but I want I would want to be an advocate for the celebrities and the probs and that would mean going up against the judges sometimes, but that role. I would love to be a judge, to be judging the judges amazing.
Okay, we're gonna transition to questions from fans that aren't DWTS related, because, like you said, you have other parts to your life. What was your first impressions of Kevin James when you met him at Diesel Beast two eight.
Four loved immediately loved.
At Misty Roe six four seven. Two random things we don't know about you, Leah?
Two random things? I don't know what's random?
Okay, Well one Leah actually is a great cook, thank you. Two she's a great interior designer. Just ask me. Thank Yeah, you're welcome. Three words to accurately describe Tom Cruise M you could pass if you'd like, big pass pass and at chant Shunman one nine seven two two three five Are you still being harassed by scientific every day? Okay, we're gonna move on, Okay to rapid fire. What about our friendship is important to you? Our friendship, vulnerability, honesty, What do you value most in our friendship?
Honesty?
And what ways do you feel supported in our friend I just have all of a sudden. My voice is so quiet.
I'm like, oh, your compassion and understanding. Your compassion and your understanding.
Thank you, And what ways do you feel trust within our friendship?
You have never violated my trust and you've always been there for me any time I have asked or needed you.
What is your favorite trait in me?
Your inability to see how horrible you are crafting?
First of all, no, that's so hurtful.
Really not good by the way everybody Cheryl claims she's now a cook.
I am a baker, not a cook.
Baker, and I has sent her so I you know, I'm going to sleep over. I'm going to have a road trip happening, and I'm going to come sleep over. So she said, okay, I'm going to bake for you. I go, great, because I don't want to wreath and.
She said I actually made one.
Okay for you? Great? She said, okay, so what do you want? So I sent her my first recipe everybody. She rejected it. She goes not into it. So then I sent her a coffee cake and then she accepted that.
So I hate cheesecake.
Well, but it wasn't even about you. That's was so crazy. You're baking for me, and I sent you a cheesecake bite that I wanted you to make me and you were like, no, rejected.
But I know you that if you come here and try it, you'd be like, try it. And I'm gonna be like, okay, and I'm going to have to try cheesecakes disgusting. Who likes cheese and their cake?
Okay? It's wow. Did everybody just hear that?
I love you?
Okay? And by the way, fine fact about Cheryl. I brought her to a Barnes and Noble one day and she and she was whispering no, but it's right up there with what do you want cheese and your cheesecake? So I go, she's whispering. I go, why are you whispering? She's like, cause we're in a library. I go, we're in a bookstore. That's really funny, amazing.
God damn it. Have you ever kept a secret for me? Leah remedymm, Nope, Okay. Is there anything I could do to show my appreciation for your friendship that I do not already?
Do? Yes? Make me my cheesecake.
Okay, fine, plus the coffee cake.
You can make two things so I could have the cheesecake and then you could have the coffee cake.
True, kiss Mary kill?
Oh no, no, no, I don't even understand this. All right, let me try it. What is it?
Just you choose one? Okay, kiss Mary or kill Jennifer Michelle Cheryl go ahead.
No, that's like that's Sophie's choice. Absolutely, notely, uh, I would have to kill. I have to kill one of my friends.
Not for no one's really killing anybody, but.
It would imply that I would be able to get like that. I wouldn't mind getting rid of one of you.
This is the okay, fine, I mean that you know you would see them in this.
It's one of my babies. No, you're one of my.
Tony maxim vll go what kiss Mary kill?
I love them all? No, but I love Tony Moore because he's my Yeah.
No, no, let's just try one. Ready, yeah, ready, Jack Osborne, Amber Riley, Bill Ingvall.
Okay, because I'm very mad at Bill Envall and he knows it. So it's killed Bill Envall because I think he got a week longer than me.
On the yes he did, he made he made the finals.
And you know why he made the finals because he took cowboy hat and celebrated a week that he wasn't great, and then everybody in the audience was like, yeah, I guess he did amazing.
You think that's why he I told him that anyway? Is that your conspiracy theory?
Now he might have been much nicer coming off on the show, and people were probably over me. No, you're very charming and I love him. Okay, so, but I got to kill him? And then what is it?
Mary Jack? Amber Riley?
So kiss or Mary kiss?
Mary killed?
Already killed Bill?
Yes, you have Mary and kiss left?
Okay kiss what ryl?
You know?
Let me do you know freaking bookstore with the library?
If you just say it really fast, kiss Mary kill Jack Osborne, Amber Riley, Bill Ing, vaulcar kill.
Mary, Mary Jack kiss Amber.
Great kiss Mary kill, Derek Huff, Mark Ballast, Julianne Huff. No, No, you can't do what if I say no to your interview?
Fine, I'd move on.
This is fine, let's move on. We're gonna just no, we're not moving on. Nice Try kiss Mary kill. So you think you can dance Dancing with the Stars, World of Dance, Okay, do that?
Well, listen World of Dances on the air sore.
Canceled, so kill that, okay and Mary go.
So you think you can dance with the stars and kiss and kiss, yes, because.
I have no It is totally with the stars.
They're like my fam.
I'm not rolling my eyes because of the answer. I'm rolling my eyes because this is taking you so long, because it's okay cool for me. I don't like to hurt people's feelings this white. Oh no, I know you don't like to anyway. Okay, I can't wait till you interview me Part two. Thank you for doing this, let me too.
Bye.
Make sure you guys follow us at sex Lies and spray tands on our Instagram handle and make sure your comment. Let me know who you want me to interview. What do you all think? Let me know