 In this episode, Jenni and Daniel talk with infidelity expert Michelle Weiner-Davisabout how couples can rebuild sex, safety, and emotional connection after an affair. They normalize everything from “hot and heavy” post-discovery sex to long dry spells, and offer practical tools for easing back into touch, managing triggers, and shifting from obligation to genuine desire. Michelle also explains why she believes choice—not a “bad marriage”—causes infidelity, and how he two-day intensives help couples move from crisis to traction.    

Bullet Points: 
It’s common for betrayed partners to feel  increased sexual desire  for the unfaithful spouse right after discovery—this can be a form of reclaiming and reconnection, not something to be ashamed of.
After an initial “hot and heavy” phase, sex often cools down, which can  trigger panic  that the couple is sliding back into old patterns.
Rebuilding intimacy works best when couples  start with low‑ pressure touch  (like hugs that are  explicitly not a prelude to sex) instead of jumping straight to intercourse.
Many women experience sex as  obligation—understanding  responsive desire  and their own pleasure can shift sex from duty to something they actively want.
Michelle argues that  “bad marriages don’t cause infidelity; deciding to cheat does”, and she uses  two‑ day therapy intensives  to give couples enough time to stabilize, process, and begin real repair.

Links: 

Michele@divorcebusting.com
2-day intensive Information
Audiobook:  Healing from Infidelity
Website: DivorceBusting.com

&nbsp;In this episode, Jenni and Daniel talk with infidelity expert Michelle Weiner-Davisabout how couples can rebuild sex, safety, and emotional connection after an affair. They normalize everything from &ldquo;hot and heavy&rdquo; post-discovery sex to long dry spells, and offer practical tools for easing back into touch, managing triggers, and shifting from obligation to genuine desire. Michelle also explains why she believes choice&mdash;not a &ldquo;bad marriage&rdquo;&mdash;causes infidelity, and how he two-day intensives help couples move from crisis to traction. &nbsp; &nbsp;
Bullet Points:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>It&rsquo;s common for betrayed partners to feel &nbsp;increased sexual desire &nbsp;for the unfaithful spouse right after discovery&mdash;this can be a form of reclaiming and reconnection, not something to be ashamed of.</li>
<li>After an initial &ldquo;hot and heavy&rdquo; phase, sex often cools down, which can &nbsp;trigger panic &nbsp;that the couple is sliding back into old patterns.</li>
<li>Rebuilding intimacy works best when couples &nbsp;start with low‑ pressure touch &nbsp;(like hugs that are &nbsp;explicitly not a prelude to sex) instead of jumping straight to intercourse.</li>
<li>Many women experience sex as &nbsp;obligation&mdash;understanding &nbsp;responsive desire &nbsp;and their own pleasure can shift sex from duty to something they actively want.</li>
<li>Michelle argues that &nbsp;&ldquo;bad marriages don&rsquo;t cause infidelity; deciding to cheat does&rdquo;, and she uses &nbsp;two‑ day therapy intensives &nbsp;to give couples enough time to stabilize, process, and begin real repair.</li>
</ul>
Links:&nbsp;
<a href="mailto:Michele@divorcebusting.com">Michele@divorcebusting.com</a> <a href="https://www.divorcebusting.com/intensives">2-day intensive Information</a> Audiobook: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Infidelity-Sanity-Affairs-Marriage/dp/B0FLZ8ZM32/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0">&nbsp;Healing from Infidelity</a> Website: <a href="DivorceBusting.com">DivorceBusting.com</a>

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics. 

As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life. 

Links: 

drjenniskyler.substack.com

The Intimacy Institute Roadmap to Intimacy online courses

 

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics.&nbsp;
As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life.&nbsp;
Links:&nbsp;
<a href="https://drjenniskyler.substack.com/">drjenniskyler.substack.com</a>
<a href="https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap">The Intimacy Institute Roadmap to Intimacy online courses</a>
&nbsp;

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology.

Sex and the Psyche

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics. 

As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life. 

drjenniskyler.substack.com  

intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics.&nbsp;
As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life.&nbsp;
<a href="https://drjenniskyler.substack.com/">drjenniskyler.substack.com&nbsp; </a>
<a href="https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap">intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap</a>

Sex and the Psyche 

In Part 2 of our conversation, Michele Weiner-Davis and Dr. Jenni Skyler go deeper into what real repair looks like after infidelity — including the questions betrayed partners ask that quietly prolong the pain, the unfaithful partner's essential role in healing, and what it actually takes to rebuild sexual intimacy when trust has been broken.