This episode features Deb Rubin on creating a sex-positive home, the three things that make kids stop talking to you, and why there is no "talk", just a thousand small moments.

Deb Rubin is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and therapeutic parent coach based in Boulder, Colorado, with over twenty years of experience helping parents navigate the transition from childhood to adolescence. She's also Jenni's longtime colleague and friend, which means this conversation goes places most podcast conversations don't.

The episode opens with a deceptively simple question: how do parents move past their own discomfort to become the trusted voice in their child's life around sexuality? And from there it becomes one of the most practically useful conversations about sex education and parenting that Sex and the Psyche has ever hosted.

Deb introduces a framework that reframes the entire conversation: sexuality is not an emergency. It's not one talk. It's not a checklist. It's short, sweet, and consistent, a thousand small moments of curiosity and honesty that accumulate, over years, into a child who trusts you enough to tell you things you didn't even know you wanted to know.

She breaks down the three parental responses that immediately shut kids down; judgment, over-empathizing, and catastrophic thinking, and explains why the parent who says almost nothing in the moment of a share almost always gets told more. She distinguishes clearly between sexuality (natural, internal, expressive) and sexualization (external, objectifying, worth-based), and explains why conflating the two is one of the most damaging things the culture does to young people.

And she names something that Daniel articulates beautifully near the end of the episode: the difference between parenting from fear and parenting from responsibility. A fear requires you to go inward. A responsibility requires you to have a conversation. Knowing which one you're operating from changes everything about how you show up.

This episode is for every parent who has ever frozen in the moment, said the wrong thing, or wondered whether they've already missed their window. The answer, Deb makes clear, is almost always no.

 

This episode features Deb Rubin on creating a sex-positive home, the three things that make kids stop talking to you, and why there is no "talk", just a thousand small moments.
Deb Rubin is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and therapeutic parent coach based in Boulder, Colorado, with over twenty years of experience helping parents navigate the transition from childhood to adolescence. She's also Jenni's longtime colleague and friend, which means this conversation goes places most podcast conversations don't.
The episode opens with a deceptively simple question: how do parents move past their own discomfort to become the trusted voice in their child's life around sexuality? And from there it becomes one of the most practically useful conversations about sex education and parenting that Sex and the Psyche has ever hosted.
Deb introduces a framework that reframes the entire conversation: sexuality is not an emergency. It's not one talk. It's not a checklist. It's short, sweet, and consistent, a thousand small moments of curiosity and honesty that accumulate, over years, into a child who trusts you enough to tell you things you didn't even know you wanted to know.
She breaks down the three parental responses that immediately shut kids down; judgment, over-empathizing, and catastrophic thinking, and explains why the parent who says almost nothing in the moment of a share almost always gets told more. She distinguishes clearly between sexuality (natural, internal, expressive) and sexualization (external, objectifying, worth-based), and explains why conflating the two is one of the most damaging things the culture does to young people.
And she names something that Daniel articulates beautifully near the end of the episode: the difference between parenting from fear and parenting from responsibility. A fear requires you to go inward. A responsibility requires you to have a conversation. Knowing which one you're operating from changes everything about how you show up.
This episode is for every parent who has ever frozen in the moment, said the wrong thing, or wondered whether they've already missed their window. The answer, Deb makes clear, is almost always no.
&nbsp;

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics. 

As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life. 

Links: 

drjenniskyler.substack.com

The Intimacy Institute Roadmap to Intimacy online courses

 

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics.&nbsp;
As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life.&nbsp;
Links:&nbsp;
<a href="https://drjenniskyler.substack.com/">drjenniskyler.substack.com</a>
<a href="https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap">The Intimacy Institute Roadmap to Intimacy online courses</a>
&nbsp;

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology.

Sex and the Psyche

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics. 

As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life. 

drjenniskyler.substack.com  

intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics.&nbsp;
As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life.&nbsp;
<a href="https://drjenniskyler.substack.com/">drjenniskyler.substack.com&nbsp; </a>
<a href="https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap">intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap</a>

Sex and the Psyche 

Deb Rubin has spent over twenty years helping parents navigate the most uncomfortable conversations of their lives — and her core message is both simple and radical: there is no talk. There are only small, consistent, honest moments. In this episode, Jenni and Daniel sit down with their longtime friend and colleague to dig into the psychological mechanics of raising sexually healthy kids. Deb breaks down the difference between sexuality and sexualization, names the three parental responses that immediately shut kids down, and explains why the parents who get told everything are the ones who say almost nothing. Warm, funny, candid, and practically useful for any parent navigating these conversations.