What happens when a couple has spent years working through trauma, parenting, mismatched desire, rejection, and the complicated realities of long-term partnership- and finally reaches a place where intimacy can feel playful again?

In Part 2 of our conversation with Tarah and EJ, we go deeper into the intimate side of long-term relationships: eroticism, desire, sexual shame, emotional safety, and the patience it can take to rebuild connection. Tarah and EJ open up about their own journey through periods when sex became tense and even frightening, and how building emotional safety eventually created room for curiosity, playfulness, and a renewed sense of intimacy.

We talk about why eroticism isn't necessarily about fantasy or sexual novelty, but can begin with something much more fundamental: feeling safe enough to be fully yourself with your partner. We explore what happens when one partner carries sexual trauma while the other experiences a deep hunger for connection, and why patience, boundaries, vulnerability, and personal responsibility are essential when those needs collide.

The conversation also tackles rejection and how differently it can land on each side of a relationship. From pregnancy and changing desire to the painful “don't even touch me” moments, we explore how learning to communicate honestly can transform rejection from a source of tension into an opportunity for deeper understanding.

And then comes one of the most powerful revelations of the episode: sometimes you have to genuinely accept that a relationship might not work in order to freely choose to stay. Letting go of the fear of losing the relationship can remove the pressure, create space for honesty, and allow two people to choose each other from clarity rather than fear.

It's a candid conversation about the reality of long-term love, and a reminder that the work isn't a sign that something is wrong with a relationship. Sometimes, the work is the relationship.

 

Tarah and EJ Links: 

Website: https://relationshiprenovation.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationshiprenovationcounseling

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationship_renovation/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfb8I3evBi7aZcVnmvN_yPw

Learn more about Sex and the Psyche

Watch this episode on YouTube

Follow on Instagram and Facebook 

What happens when a couple has spent years working through trauma, parenting, mismatched desire, rejection, and the complicated realities of long-term partnership- and finally reaches a place where intimacy can feel playful again?
In Part 2 of our conversation with Tarah and EJ, we go deeper into the intimate side of long-term relationships: eroticism, desire, sexual shame, emotional safety, and the patience it can take to rebuild connection. Tarah and EJ open up about their own journey through periods when sex became tense and even frightening, and how building emotional safety eventually created room for curiosity, playfulness, and a renewed sense of intimacy.
We talk about why eroticism isn't necessarily about fantasy or sexual novelty, but can begin with something much more fundamental: feeling safe enough to be fully yourself with your partner. We explore what happens when one partner carries sexual trauma while the other experiences a deep hunger for connection, and why patience, boundaries, vulnerability, and personal responsibility are essential when those needs collide.
The conversation also tackles rejection and how differently it can land on each side of a relationship. From pregnancy and changing desire to the painful &ldquo;don't even touch me&rdquo; moments, we explore how learning to communicate honestly can transform rejection from a source of tension into an opportunity for deeper understanding.
And then comes one of the most powerful revelations of the episode: sometimes you have to genuinely accept that a relationship might not work in order to freely choose to stay. Letting go of the fear of losing the relationship can remove the pressure, create space for honesty, and allow two people to choose each other from clarity rather than fear.
It's a candid conversation about the reality of long-term love, and a reminder that the work isn't a sign that something is wrong with a relationship. Sometimes, the work is the relationship.
&nbsp;
Tarah and EJ Links:&nbsp;
Website: <a href="https://relationshiprenovation.com/">https://relationshiprenovation.com/</a>
Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/relationshiprenovationcounseling">https://www.facebook.com/relationshiprenovationcounseling</a>
Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/relationship_renovation/">https://www.instagram.com/relationship_renovation/</a>
YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfb8I3evBi7aZcVnmvN_yPw">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfb8I3evBi7aZcVnmvN_yPw</a>
<a href="https://linktr.ee/SexandthePsyche?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&lt;sid=4c4cb781-48d2-4305-84b9-e35953a0a426">Learn more about Sex and the Psyche</a>
Watch this episode on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi3LsWuYtwsCiejgBN6Ab5Q">YouTube</a>
Follow on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drjenniskyler/">Instagram</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sexandthepsyche/?ref=PROFILE_EDIT_xav_ig_profile_page_web#">Facebook</a>&nbsp;

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics. 

As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life. 

Links: 

drjenniskyler.substack.com

The Intimacy Institute Roadmap to Intimacy online courses

 

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics.&nbsp;
As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life.&nbsp;
Links:&nbsp;
<a href="https://drjenniskyler.substack.com/">drjenniskyler.substack.com</a>
<a href="https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap">The Intimacy Institute Roadmap to Intimacy online courses</a>
&nbsp;

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology.

Sex and the Psyche

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics. 

As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life. 

Learn more about Sex and the Psyche

 

Follow on YouTube Instagram and Facebook 

drjenniskyler.substack.com  

intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap

 

Sex and the Psyche is hosted by clinical sex therapists, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz. Married with two children, Jenni and Daniel, take listeners behind the scenes on how they talk shop on a deeper level as they conceptualize the intersection of relationships, sex, and psychology. With over 16 years of helping couples and individuals enhance and optimize their sexual function, pleasure, and knowledge of human sexuality, Sex and the Psyche covers the issues that affect most everyone from desire discrepancy, erectile issues, painful sex, porn obsessions, premature and delayed ejaculation, and healing from affairs among many other topics.&nbsp;
As a husband-wife team and co-directors of 'The Intimacy Institute for Sex and Relationship Therapy', Jenni and Daniel share their expertise from real life scenarios, bringing a unique angle to understanding relationships while offering listeners helpful communication skills through thoughtful and intelligent conversations designed to help connect the more complicated dots for manifesting a more satisfying and sustainable sex life.&nbsp;
<a href="https://linktr.ee/SexandthePsyche?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&lt;sid=4c4cb781-48d2-4305-84b9-e35953a0a426">Learn more about Sex and the Psyche</a>
&nbsp;
Follow on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi3LsWuYtwsCiejgBN6Ab5Q">YouTube</a>&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drjenniskyler/">Instagram</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sexandthepsyche/?ref=PROFILE_EDIT_xav_ig_profile_page_web#">Facebook</a>&nbsp;
<a href="https://drjenniskyler.substack.com/">drjenniskyler.substack.com&nbsp; </a>
<a href="https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap">intimacyinstitute.org/roadmap</a>
&nbsp;

Sex and the Psyche 

In Part 2 of our conversation with Tarah and EJ, we get real about long-term intimacy, eroticism, mismatched desire, sexual trauma, rejection, and the patience required to rebuild connection. Their deeply personal story reveals how emotional safety can create room for playfulness- and how accepting that a relationship might not work can paradoxically give couples the freedom to truly choose each other. A candid conversation about sex, vulnerability, healing, and the work of staying connected.