Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya RadTanya is a week into fiancé life and she’s already making some BIG changes! We revisit some of the classic Tanya “artifacts” that helped lead her to Roby… but now it’s time to pass those on to someone else looking for love.
Becca has an important question to ask about an ancient civilation.
And we hear about the risks of posting “too much tongue”.
Here we go.
Quiet, please do it because she's doing it.
Quiet on the set, please. We are rolling in five four.
Three scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in.
I'm just doing it because Becca's doing it.
This is like having that sister that I didn't have these sisters, but that sister that copies everything you do, Like my sisters didn't do that.
But Tanya is like, that's.
As oh, I bet if we had Tina and she tell us all about that.
I'm sure.
Yeah. Yeah. I came in and I was like, oh, I want to do like a fun little day in the life and like film the podcast and stuff, and so of course I'm filming and Tanya.
Takes her phone out to film.
Were you that sister?
Because you have it?
What's your age different?
Seven years?
That's kind of a significant age gap.
Yeah, but that's like the big enough age gap to where like I didn't know myself, you know what I mean?
You just like wanted to everything your older siblings.
Do you did do that?
Yeah?
Yeah, I'd love to chit chat with Tina, Oh yeah, would you?
I would really enjoyed her na.
One week of being a fiance that's been one week since he.
One week since he got down on a knee. Oh, opened the box and said.
Will you marry me?
You're good?
That was off the cuff, off the cuff, Yeah, give me.
You're desensitized room and just like that.
It was pretty good.
That was a pretty high note. You hit right there.
Thank you very much.
Really just kept escalating.
How does it feel like one weekend? Where are you at?
It feels so crazy?
Like I still I look at Robbie every night and I'm like, we get.
To do this forever and I'm like, how fun is this? Like I feel like it's a whole new relationship.
Does he feel that way? Yeah? He does, Yeah, he does. He feels like, Oh, it's totally different, not.
Quite like the way that I do, but he does feel like there's a different there's a different vibe to our relationship, like we're like on the other side, we're building a future.
Yeah. I was gonna ask because I think it's like we've talked about it so much on the podcast, but there was a sense of feeling unsettled on your behalf waiting to get the ring, Like there was a sense of like a little bit of pressure on him, a little bit of like you were you were very vocal about what you were wanting and like wanting to move forward with your relationship in the in terms of getting engaged. Right, Yeah, I feel like you feel so settled right now, Like it was like an instant.
What's so funny is like we always like we talked about that we were gonna get married, but around two year, around the two year mark, we talked about where this relationship was going. Does he see marriage, kids, the whole thing, you know what I mean. So like we were on the same page for about i'd say the last year and a half, Like we were settled on the fact that we were going to get married, we were going to do this, and like we were going to do that, all that kind of stuff.
But it's funny because he.
Was like, I don't think you believed me until I actually proposed to you. And I'm like, that's I think what it is. It was like I just didn't believe it until it actually happened. It's weird is that because I did believe him, Like I don't think he was lying to me. I didn't think he was trying to fool me or anything, like I really believed what he said to be true, but it was like I didn't believe it until it actually happened, which is why I feel like I was like it was I don't know, interesting.
Well, I think it because last year you were kind of like I'm going to be engaged by the new year, and that didn't happen. Like I think that you had communicated certain like milestones of like when you were hoping it would happen, right, So I think until you actually had the ring on your finger and saw him on a knee, you were like, these are just words, correct, correct. But I do feel like there's a different energy to all's relationship. Yeah, it feels like I feel like that just.
In a weekend.
A weekend, it feels different. It feels totally totally different.
So what now, did y'all?
Did y'all merge all the streaming services? No? No, no, my god. First things first, no, well, no, huge undertaking.
It is a huge undertaking because like my mind goes and I'm like, maybe we should create an email that's like a brand new email that's just the two of us, and that's what we use for all of our streaming services, Like we cancel both of our independent ones?
Why did just cancel half of them? Cancel yours, keep his or vice versa.
Because like then you're like remember each other's passwords and another way, we can.
Create a new password together.
But it's what like you can you can both.
Come up with a password like for all of them, so you just have one password.
Forever, just change all the passwords everything.
Yeah, such a to do well starts creating a full new the email is worse.
It just feels like a fresh start.
Oh okay, okay, you know what I mean.
But no, we didn't get to the streaming services.
Okay, I thought, what did you do this this morning? This is a very big deal.
Oh I put in my uh notice in my apartment.
Wow, I'm so proud of you. Truly.
I have till October eighteenth to get GTFO.
But basically it's just furniture in there, right Yeah, so like easy breezy.
Yeah, I think.
So wow, How do you feel good? Good?
Crazy, weird, excited? Yeah, all the things.
But do you feel like like you've were like holding your breath on it? Do you feel like you've like you're like you're good? You feel happy that it's done. The door's closed on that chapter. Yeah, I do great.
I'm so proud of you.
I speak for a lot of scribers when I say I'll miss the phallic staircase.
A bit.
I know.
You know what's interesting is I want to have Like so I wrote down the word love on this index card and it is the first thing I moved into it my apartment, and I really believe it brought me love in that apartment.
And I want to like give it to somebody else, like I shouldn't keep it, right, you have to either well paper that I wrote loved card.
Yeah, we could give it to a scrubber.
Do you have a friend who's looking for love?
Or we have a contest contest, but do you know what I mean, Like I feel like I found love in this found love in my apartment staircase.
You know what you should do?
You should do a video of you, like running your hand up and down the railing with like I actually with my ring. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Let's see how many song references we can pack into this episode.
Yeah, pretty good.
Yeah, Okay, here's the thing.
I'm torn because it's it feels like in your mind it's a very significant thing that was part of your relationship.
Right, No, it was like a part of my story, like when I moved in this is before I met Robbie.
You know, it was like I really.
Brought you that love Crystal, Remember the pink crystal that's supposed to bring love.
Yeah, I still have that.
Yeah, you should give that in the index card past somebody else.
I know, it feels like I should give it, like I should pass it on, like I have found the love.
I don't need to keep it. I should share the luck, right wait, share the luck meaning the index card that I had.
Yeah, but I also think, like if he knows, I don't know.
I think that I think a scrubber would be the most appreciative of this gesture.
I think I just don't know if someone.
Like cosmic at it.
Do you want the love index card?
I just feel offended. No one thought of me immediately.
I think you're interested in love.
I think she is.
I think we need to bring the love in there.
I would be absolutely honored, would you really? No? Truly?
Okay?
Done? Oh my gosh, it's my lucky day. You gotta love Crystal. You gotta love Crystal and a love index card.
All right, so you gave her the index card. What is she supposed to do with it?
So now you need to move into a new apartment.
I just moved.
Oh perfect, So this is great, so perfect.
So this needs to be the first thing you move into. Move into your new apartment.
I think she's that's going to be hard because everything's moved. Oh well, it doesn't have to be the first thing. It's just you're welcoming in in. You're saying, like, I'm in this new apartment and now I'm welcoming in love.
Yeah, but put it somewhere that you're gonna see it every day. So I put it in like my drawer that I put like my keys in.
Great.
Yeah, I think this is great because no one has been to my new apartment of love interest yet, right, so that's perfect.
Yeah, wow, this is perfect.
Okay, Well that's good because I was like feeling I was feeling like I can't just throw it away.
No, no, well it was either gonna have to go in your box of like special things or pass it on.
Correct but passing it on feels better, you know.
And you gave Mikayla your calling in the one book. So let's get an update on how that's going, Mikayla. How is the calling in the one workbook going so far?
So I kind of took a break because I was really busy. So I told Tanya that I was just going to start over, and she said, no, just continue from where you are now. So That's what I'm going to do.
So that was a long time ago we.
Gave me that.
I feel like her commitment to the project is subpar.
I'm going to find out exactly when we gave it to her, because I think it's been like a year.
I don't think it's been a year.
How long is it supposed to take?
Seven weeks?
Seven weeks?
Yeah, it was definitely over seven weeks.
I would definitely fail this challenge that sounds so horrible for seven weeks, like for what?
There's also this like I can't even say it on the podcast because it sounds so ridiculous.
What you got it?
There was this honey jar that I made when we were broken up, and I don't know if I should throw it away or if that's like a bad omen to throw it away, or.
Like what to do? I still have a honey draw, I still have the honey jar like notes or whatever.
Yeah, note to Robbie in there.
What's that? What does it saying?
I have no idea, I don't remember.
But it was like a note that I wrote to Robbie and like all the thing it was when we were broken up, and it was like all the things that I wish, uh were the truth instead of like the fact that we were broken up. Like it was like all the stuff I wanted.
Yeah, and I put it in a jar and I filled it with honey.
Who told you about that?
Jen? One of my coworkers that sounds like Jen.
Yeah, And I would light a little tea like candle on it.
Oh my gosh, so it worked or what do we think?
And yeah, yeah, you're supposed to like I would if I re used honey. I would like use honey from the jar.
Even though there's a note in there.
It was like like ink poison.
Honey is like anti bacterial or something.
Made up rules up here.
Time you bestowed her work book upon you on January twenty seven, So we're coming up on eight months. Wow, supposed to be seven weeks.
I was really into it at first, and I just got busy.
Time just flew by but.
Anytime annoying that to somebody else failure it does.
Should I try to finish it?
Or no?
How much more do you have to go?
I'm more than halfway through, for sure, God, more than half way.
I feel like you've.
Done enough, you know.
I feel like you've called enough. You know, done enough.
You can't just do enough.
You can't get out in the middle of no work books and love walked right into my face. It might just be a beckhead. It might be the work book, ain't it.
Some of us don't have that look, you know, some of us have to work for it.
To think you would have met Robbie whether you did the book or not, I called him in. If that makes you feel powerful and great, then I believe that for you. But I believe that you were going to meet either way because you had an invisible string. Yeah, well it can't be both. Tell you.
Is the invisible string a telephone line that you used to in the one No, No, No, I'm trying.
I'm trying jar, guys.
I think the honey jar should be given Tony.
Is written to Robbie like it has his name in there and stuff like it's specific to me.
What if you'll open it together and read it and then you.
It's so corroded at this point there's no legibility it was anti bacterial.
Can you see the paper in there?
You can see the paper, but definitely not the worst.
Why do you just keep it as a candle because.
It's a jar of honey?
Said you lit a candle on.
I felt like a little tea like candle on it away.
So I think it's time.
What happens if you throw it away?
Because the whole point was like that was for you able to find each other again, and we did, and so I think the purpose has been Yeah, I think the honey has done its work.
Okay, it's ready to be released. Maybe put it out for some bees to enjoy, enjoy.
Okay, all right, So those are my two biggest things of concerning my make honey.
They don't enjoy?
What about the couch and yeah, we know where all that stuff's going. But I was very concerned about the love index card and the honey jar.
I'm glad we got that sort of too. That was emergant.
Yeah, Michaela, you haven't Halloween and then we're taking that work book back from you.
Okay, Okay, you know.
I also sent it to Chef Bay, did you, Yeah, I said it to I sent her calling.
No.
I will ask her though. But you know it's on sale right now for like a dollar ninety nine on Amazon.
So forgetting while it's on.
We had a promo code for calling in the one.
I do not.
I have no idea, but it's really it's on sale. Maybe that should be our next book club.
How did you know?
How did you find it? Oh?
I know how I found it?
Okay.
So I was walking with a girlfriend of mine. You know, in LA they have those little libraries that are just like all over town. So I was walking with a girlfriend, you know her Jen Seurle. Yeah, she now lives in San Diego. Yeah, we were walking and she found We were looking through one of those little libraries and she was like, oh my gosh, I found this calling in the one.
Uh.
And so she read it and she met her now husband, and I was like, if Jen Searle did it, I'm going to do it.
So it was a referral. It was a referral from suggests story, referral from l.
That's great, and now she's trying to refer it to someone else. But it's so far it's not working.
No do we but you've referred it. I wonder how many scrubbers have done it? And yeah, I had success.
Actually, okay, this is somebody messaged me saying that I inspired them to read calling in the one and that they did now call in their husband, their current husband.
Okay, so we do have some success stories's recommendation.
That's fine. One is one is one.
Yeah, one is one, one is one is two hearts, one Heart, one.
Way, which was my Sigma Kappa tagline.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Yeah, okay, I also want to talk to you about the family meeting that you.
Made everyone attend.
Why because everyone is interesting and Robbie, Oh, it's.
Just you and Robbie.
Yeah.
I want to talk about that. But we're going to take a break first. We'll be it back.
All right, we're back. So you initiated a family meeting.
Yes, this is not our first, if you will, we have had a couple.
A couple of family meetings up to this point. Yes, oh, but this is the first engaged fiance family meeting.
Yes, and so now I'm recommending that we do them weekly.
What do you do in the family meeting?
We go over.
We have an.
Agenda, okay, and it's basically all upcoming stuff, so like just like calendar stuff, kids, scheduling stuff. We go up as far as Thanksgiving trying to figure out what we're doing for Thanksgiving, and then the very bottom of the list was wedding planning.
This is Haley's dream. Yes, Haley would die to do weekly meetings. Do you do it weekly?
No, we're not, but I'm suggesting that now that we do them weekly because we get a lot done in these meetings.
Well, it's gonna ask. I feel like we probably would like it because it's like y'all kind of are on the same wavelength with those things.
Yeah, you know what I what I realized too is like we're taking two lives and creating one, and that's so crazy.
Reminds me of the song.
When to be come on, I need some love. I can never needed love before You're gonna make love to ye baby.
Were singing this as like a really young child and now knowing what it means. My mom would always get upset. She'd be like, don't sing that song, and I was like, why, it's so pretty?
I know, Yeah, I was singing that like ten years old, Yeah, passionately. Yeah, basically we're like merging two lives into one. And so like the way that I work is not the way that he works. And so I think the family meetings are like a good way for us to work together.
How does he work?
Not like me?
In my way?
He's more like chill, like get it done on his own timeline. I'm more like, let's get it done tomorrow.
How do you balance those two things?
Compromise?
Like, some things I want him to do immediately, I like make that clear, and then the other things, I'm like, I kind of give him wiggle room.
Okay, I like that.
Yeah, I'm just a compromise early now.
Yeah, yeah, she got the rock.
I'll compromise.
Compromise.
Sure you want a week to do that, no problem, a month, no problem.
Do you have your mountain cheek look ready for the weekend?
I do.
I'm ready to go mountain cheek queen.
Friday night outfit packed, Saturday night outfit packed?
You're packed?
Well, not really, but like mentally, wow.
Are you doing cowboy? Are you doing cowboy wear?
No?
Oh okay, I tried too hard. It just wasn't me. But I still feel like I'm mountain cheek.
Okay you I'm going full.
Throttle cowboy boots and hat if.
I can find a hat. Hats are weird on me. Sometimes I just couldn't do it.
I don't have cowboy boots. I don't know how to look for cowboy boots. I don't just not me.
Yeah. Well, don't force yourself to be something you're not exactly. Yeah, just like that, you just show up with your smile and your sunshine and that's all they need.
Look mountain chic. Like I showed you pictures of my dresses.
Yeah, and it was actually on Hanna's mood board. Mood board she sent the dress, so you crushed it, thank you. And it's gonna be cold, you know that, right, It's gonna be like low fifties during the day, thirties at night. Just to give you a little update, to bring a jacket, yeah, yeah, and let Robbie know.
Yeah.
And we also were discussing if we because so me, Haley, Robbie and Tanya are sharing a cabin. Yes, and all we know really is that there's one bathroom. That's what we've been told. But we were just discussing before we started the podcast, is this a cabin with two bedrooms and one bathroom or one big room with two beds.
My perspective, perception.
Per what're I'm looking for, I think is that it's one giant cab bin with a bathroom and like a room with two beds.
So that means that we're all gonna be in the same in one room. Yes, I just don't know if Caylen would do that to us.
Why wouldn't she sounds like so much fun. It's like a giant slumber party.
Yeah, but I think you would love your own space, Yes I would.
But if we don't have at this would be fun too.
Okay, Well I can't wait to find out.
So you think there's one big cabin without separate rooms in it like the Hateful Eight? Sorry that's a Tarantino reference, but seriously.
Yeah, I'm honestly I don't know.
Yeah, or what about like Charlie Chocolate factory Grandpas one big.
Bed bed imagine?
Yeah, I'm gonna have to look into this a little deeper. But you did something that really struck me this weekend. As you posted you and Robbie went on a date. Yeah, and he was drawing, and you said you posted and said, it's the tongue that really gets me. Yeah, when I say, I was flabbergasted what. I couldn't even respond to you because I was so taken aback that that was on a public Instagram story. I was like, everyone was messaging me like, I know you're dying over till his story and I was like, I can't even respond.
If Haley stuck her tongue out like that while she was doing her thing, you would be like.
Ugh, I just don't know. First of all, I don't know that I would. In second all, I definitely, definitely, one thousand percent would not post up close for us all to see. And worse, he reposted it so I saw it twice.
That's right, that's my baby.
You're just like I am.
I even avortext, Like I am a vortext. He is literally like I don't know. I look at him and I'm like, I didn't even think I could love you. More like I'm like obsessed with him.
Yeah, until you want everyone else to feel the the love? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, anyone else see that this weekend?
Hannah sure did. It's not necessarily what I wanted to see, but it's so on brand for Tom No but yeah, yeah, brand did.
He do that on purpose?
No, it's like how he draws, like when he's like really into it, he just.
Does that often. Yeah, he's really he's like an amazing and it's like his focused thing.
Yeah, like when he's concentrating on something, he like tongue out.
How do you feel about that, Hannah?
I mean, I'm so happy, thank you, thank you so much. I'm not asking you if you're dating.
A man, I would tell him, but his tongue back in his mouth.
Would give yeah, potentially potential ick.
Not for me.
No, it's got to be the right person. The right person can do things that no one else could do, right, Like, if someone else was doing that, you'd be like, yeah, probably, Yeah.
It's because it's him.
Yeah, yeah, nice.
We love you and we love Robbie. But some things it's like it's like stunning. I think sometimes I admire that you have. You just have no f's to give On Instagram, No, I don't care, like I just feel like I'm just like mesmerized by that because I overthink everything.
But who cares. It's like my Instagram. If you don't like it, then don't follow me, you know what I mean? That's the point. It's your own thing.
I know.
But like I'm saying more from the perspective of like like like mom, yeah, not.
She knows about my obsession with him, So I think we're good there.
Okay, Yeah, that's the only thing I was thinking of. Yeah, you're not worried about it. I'm not worried about No, I'm not worried about it. Sure if she saw it, she said, she also said, that's my.
Bab, that's my bab, that's my boy.
Okay, let's take a break and we will be right back with emails. All right, we are back. Did you ask Robbie have you seen that Roman Empire stuff?
Yes?
Okay, have you yes? Have you asked Robbie about it?
Yeah?
Well, so I didn't ask him.
Paulina sent it in a group chat and she asked, we have two guys in the group chats, Robbie and this other guy, Zach.
Okay, and you do some background on this before you reveal.
There's a trend going around.
There was a trend going around of the weekend on TikTok about like that, and then think about the Roman Empire daily and so there's a montage.
I'll play some of it for you right now. They said to their boyfriend out of the blue or husband, how often do you think about the Roman Empire? Here are some responses. There's technically like every day, what honestly.
Probably two to three times a day?
What probably three or four times a week? I'm thinking I think about it?
So where did this start?
Like?
Who's initially asked the question? Does anyone know like where this began?
I don't know where it began. I have no idea of its origin.
I can get it. I think it was an Instagram post originally ask your man. So many posted ask your man this. You'll be shocked by his response.
That's so random, okay.
So so Paulina sent the group message and asked if she.
Said, to the men in the group chat, how often do you guys think about the Roman Empire?
Okay?
And Robbie's response was never, not once, not even when I'm in Rome.
Wow, my man?
And I was like, this is so random.
So then I started like looking into it, and I started watching these videos of people asking like the men in their lives, and I started peeing my pants because it's like often daily.
What did so? What did Zac say? Uh?
Zach was on the same page of like not not often.
Yeah, did y'all have an answer for this?
Easton and Mark.
My answer is the same as Robbie. So, I'd never thought of the Roman Empire. I have no idea what to me. I thought this was a joke. I thought someone was playing a joke on me, like telling their boyfriend, say, you think about it all the time, just to create a meme because it's so foreign to me. Never ever, I know nothing about it. I never think about it.
I never think about it either. Allison thinks about it, like at least three times a week. She told me she brought it up to me of the blue, So I don't know if that says.
I was convinced that all guys were like in on this prey. That's what I thought, Like, I was like, the guys are messing with the girls.
Oh wait, no, so.
Zach said never Lol, maybe when I'm in Rome for like thirty seconds, and then Robbie said never, not even when I'm in Rome.
I asked Haley, and I filmed it because I was just like stunned. This is like the second half of the conversation. I took my camera out, but this is what she said, which you think about the Roman Empire, babe? What are you doing? You think about the Roman Empire often? What do you think about it?
And I think about the statues, and I think about how.
Arrible life would be. I absolutely shook right now. No, I've never But you think about that on a regular basis, is what I'm asking. But I was like, I just knew she was gonna be like, first of all, Hercules is Greek. He's I don't know if that's what the men are thinking about, like how hard it'd be to build.
Things on a stone.
But I was like stunned that she thought about it, because my I did the same thing as Robbie. I was like, never once has that popped into my mind?
The Roman Empire the only background I can because I don't understand it either. But right before I did this, I recorded a podcast with some Wintree Hill stars and I don't know when it's coming out, so I don't wanna spoil it. But this person they asked this person that a male star from Wintree Hill, and he said he gets reminded of it every time, Like he's like I'm walking around just looking at Rhodes. That goes back to the Roman Empire, the forum, the way people trade ideas. That was like all these things in modern society that lead back to it, and that's what reminds him.
Yeah, this other friend of ours was saying, like when he looks at his watch, the Roman numerals on, it makes him think of like the Roman Empire.
Yeah, like, wow, I just got it. My dad said he thinks about it every other day. I called.
I texted him and he said every other day, and I was so shocked.
I called him. He was dead serious. He's like, no, seriously, I think about it a lot.
I don't wonder I really don't get it.
Well, what would you say, is the female equivalent to the Roman Empire? Because that's what people have been trying to figure out. Someone said Titanic, which I feel like I really really liked it because I was like obsessed with Titanic and like anytime I see really it can trigger from anywhere.
I don't think I think about anything that often, like not even Sex and City, not even Friends, one.
Of my favorite TV shows. So whatever, No, I mean I watch it every day, but like.
You don't think about it.
Actually you're your Roman Empire just changes based on why you're like focusing.
Yeah, yeah, like love love Love.
Yeah, Love Island is your Roman Empire.
Yeah, that's true.
Speaking of Survivor, you got a new sauna which is like, I'm so jealous.
It's so chic and beautiful, epic. It's epic. It's epic, and you'll have a TV in there.
Yeah.
Well it's not like it's like a tablet I know yet, Like.
It's so cool, but it's protected from heat, because that's the most brutal part about setting in a sauna is like doing nothing.
We sat in there and watched Survivor and Robbie I was like, I need to get out and get out for air and he was like, no, no, no, you can't. Just if you're on the island, you counld just like pop off the island of Survivor for a minute and come back in.
I'm like, we're not actually on the show.
He was like using Survivor as like a tactic to like get me to stay in.
Should we have they ever done like a couple's uh, Survivor like where people go on as teams.
I've only seen six seasons, but I've not seen.
They don't do the gimmicky stuff.
For that now, because it's also just like you're the sole survivor. Their whole thing is like the one like.
Has there been celebrity survivor?
Right?
I don't think?
So it was time to start. Yeah, I was like, can we put your Robbie on.
Oh.
They did do one called Blood versus Water where they had previous contestants come on with their loved ones against them. So one side was previous contestants, the other side was loved ones.
To tell you, I love to watch this show.
This is a show that I would never want to be on the amount of the book bites I see on their.
Bodies, the amount.
Oh all right, well they would never want I would like to do the challenges, but I would never want to like live on an island like.
Amazing race Robbie and Becca.
Yeah, but I was also thinking, like I've always wanted to do like a road rules challenge. Merged with like Bachelor to where it wasn't really I.
Give people they do winter games, Bachelor Winter.
Game, but it was the games were so lame, Like it was just it could have been really cool. It was just lame. Oh, but I thought that that's what they were going to do with it, and they did it.
I watched half of it because we knew most of the people on that season, and I turned it on. I just lastly ha Keneddi's sliding downhill on her and I was like, I'm out.
Because actually I have to talk. I'm gonna I bring it up every time I see her. I think during the Winter Games they had to learn an ice skating routine. Oh yeah, it is the funniest, one of the funniest moments of television I've ever watched, because she goes to do a little jump and I don't think she like actually gets off the ground. It is so amazing and we laugh about it every time I see her. So if you ever want to check that out, that was the best part of Winter Games. Oh man, it was good. But yeah, I've always thought like it'ld be really fun to do a show where it was like challenges like Survivor road Rules, but not make it. I don't want to be like stuck in the wilderness, right.
Yeah, Like I do like the challenges, Like sometimes I watch the Survivor challenges and I'm like, I think I'd be really good at that.
What do you think which which challenges do you feel like you'd thrive in?
Whim ones? Because I'm an excellent swimmer.
What I did not know this about you?
Yeah, I'm actually an excellent swimmer.
And he also said the ones we have to stand in one place for like an hour, Yeah, are like the.
Ones that like kind of test your balance and fragility. Like I think, concentration and focus I think I'd be.
Good at because what doesn't clearly challenge doesn't change you.
That's tonyus motto. Yeah, in survival.
Yeah, I actually thought about this.
Is this is what I thought about actually last night for Sunny's birthday, if I should do like a Survivor theme and do like Survivor games at her birthday for the for the dogs. Yeah.
When is that coming up?
It's in November.
Yeah, that'd be a lot of work.
Yeah, that's kind of where I netted out at and figured.
I mean, her last birthday was a lot of work and that was no Survivor games.
Yeah, so maybe not.
Are you gonna do it up again? Or is that just like because it was number one?
That's just her first?
Isn't that what you do?
Like your kid?
The first birthday's a blowout and then like two, three, four or fives a blowout?
Oh, six, seven, eight, nine, tens a blowout?
Mark?
Sure, yeah, okay, I can go along with that, I guess I mean no, yeah, sure, only of five matter?
Yeah right, it's.
A dog that you might want to throw a few more in there. You only have so many chances, you know. Oh my god, I'm just saying when you live to be one hundred every five years works, but you know, for a dog, maybe every other year.
Wow, so you're gonna have to do threes, three, third?
Well no, it means just this year I have to blow it out again.
Oh wow?
Yeah, okay, do you want to do a break or get right into I think we're right into emails.
These cannot wait any longer. Anonymous asks. I started talking to a girl on Instagram a few years ago. We instantly became great friends. We text every day, We send each other cards and gifts on special occasions. I flew out to visit her in Arizona around the time my son was born a few years ago. She ghosted me and it was super hurtful. She blocked me on Instagram stories, would not return my texts, and when I told her my son had been born. That's but I got in return nothing. I confronted her about it when she finally did text me back, because she told me she's struck. She was going through some struggles, so I forgave her. Fast forward to this year and she's back to ghosting me again. I don't know what I could have done, but she has now blocked my number and blocked me on her stories again. I'm at loss. It's been four weeks since she messaged me. I've given up. Would you guys be friends with someone like this? Am I being too sensitive? I think she's unstable.
I think I think you are better off without a friend like this. Yes, I think you're putting in a lot of effort and energy into something that is always going to disappoint you.
I agree, And you know what, the older you get, the less patience you have for this kind of stuff.
I also feel like having a child, like you know you your energy has you have to be very precious with where you put your energy, and I feel like you're putting it into something that does not give anything to you, not only doesn't get back to.
You, but like takes from you.
Yeah.
Yeah, So I think you move on. I don't think you're being sensitive. I just definitely think you should move on from this friendship.
Yeah.
Also, anyone that blocks your number and blocks your stories on Instagram is just.
Like she's probably tellous something you've got going on, Like maybe she's having trouble with having kids and you have this great kid. Like who knows what it could be, but it sounds like she doesn't want to be reminded of your life.
Yeah, you know, she blocked her from seeing her stories.
I don't know that what's going on.
It's all bad. Yeah, it's very bad.
All right.
There's another one anonymous again, I've been dating someone seven and a half years. When is too long? Too long?
This is good?
I think this is good for you to answer because I think I think too long is based on what you're expecting out of dating, right, like what the end goal is, which would be if it's marriage, if it's getting engaged in marriage, than how long do you wait?
Well, I don't think there's too long. There's not too long. There's not too long.
I love when that happens there like you're trying to get on the out, but the.
Same there's no such thing. As too long.
It's just too long for you, is what I was trying to say. I guess because like seven and a half years, I would have been like, see, uh, but seven and a half years you're still in it, you know what I mean. So it's like, that's fine for you. Somebody what I waited almost four years, and that was hard for me. Somebody couldn't do four years. Some people can only wait a year, you know what I mean. Like, it's all dependent on you and what you want out of your future, what's your timeline and what you're comfortable with.
But do you think that if Robbie had said, I promise.
You we will be the decade.
No, but yeah, no, really you would I have giving up what you have.
I'd say, that's so disrespectful to me and my needs and my wants and what I want for my future. If you can't meet me in the middle at the next decade. I would have been like, but.
He's given you like an end goal. No, okay, so there is too long.
That's too long for me. Not too long.
So there is too long. It's just cubstantial.
Yes, what about you?
I don't have that, Like I think if Haley gave me like, hey, I want this, then I would be like, all right, cool, but I don't feel like a rush for there's no thing.
Then your answer would be there is no such thing as too long.
No, I believe there's too long. But I think it's based on your needs at once.
Yeah, and also there's other factors that consider here. If you started dating when you were in high school and you're only twenty three, then you're fine, it's seven and a half years. If you're approaching forty and you want to have kids and stuff like that, then there's more of a the clock's ticken a little bit. So I think it's there. I agree it's different for everybody.
If you're happy to agree with me and you're telling it, I.
Think both of you. Actually, I don't feel like you two are too far apart on this one.
There's no too long.
It's just too long for you. You see the difference.
But I would say the fact that she sent us an email, is it starting to become too long?
Yes, that's what I'm saying. I think.
I think if you, if you've expressed your desire, like if you if you're like, hey, I've just been chilling. I haven't said what I want or need out of this, and then now all of a sudden, you're like in your head about it. Give him some time, because if he hasn't been prepared for that, then Like if Haley, all of a sudden tomorrow was like, I'm gonna get married and like I want to get engaged, I'd be like, whoa, Like we haven't even like you haven't been wanting this, Like you wanted it for a while.
You made it very clear what your end goal was and what you.
Expected within months.
But I'm saying, like, if she's just been like, I'm fine, I do not want this, and then all of a sudden, it's like, wait, we've been together seven and a half years, what are we doing? Then I think it's a conversation worth having. If you've had this conversation for like years at this point, then maybe it's been too long.
Yeah, this is so random. I don't know why this made me think of it. But I made these healthy Snickers bars last night. Everybody was messaging me that they want you to try one.
I eat those every night. That's my dessert every single night.
A healthy Snickers bar or real Snickers dates with.
The peanut butter, peanuts and dark chocolate on top.
Oh my god, last.
Night I did mint chocolate, the Hue mint chocolate. It was delicious, So I'll try one.
Wow, it's like that I need to try these. I was like, yeah, she's I think she's gonna like these.
They're delicious. Yeah, you like them.
I love them. They're delicious, delicious every night.
That's like my sweet treet almost every night.
Wow. Yeah, because I'm trying to be like nice to my body or whatever.
Yeah, and now it's just.
Like things you have to think of as you approach elder elder years elder years. Yeah, let me tell you. I had a cho had a Sunday the other day, a Saturday for dessert.
How good was it? Though?
It was good?
And then the after was complete mess, Like it's not worth it.
Wait, because you can't have dairy.
I just don't eat it. So I think my stomach reacts in a very negative way.
We all say different things to justify it, but the bottom line is you can't have dairy. So why didn't have a lactate before your Sunday?
Because it was on whim It was like, oh my gosh, you're engaged to.
Have a dessert is denial. You should always have lactaid with you at all times.
Hailey bring Hailey as a pez dispenser with lactate in it.
There you go, see the pe dispenser.
It's oh my gosh.
I want to say, it's like a this could be so off, but in my mind it's a blue care bear.
Cute.
It's cute.
It's cute. But yeah, she's always locked loaded.
Yeah, that's how you got to be. It's got to figure out. Okay, I can't have dairy. I need to be ready in case a Sunday happens out of nowhere.
We'll like a classic Sunday.
It was just vanilla ice cream with chocolate fudge, I.
Know, and you peanuts and cherries and were shaved peanuts on top. Where'd you have that, pacha yum?
Yeah?
Yeah, you always got to be prepared. Yeah, but I understand where that could hurt you. It really did.
Yeah, that's not what makes it not worth it, you know, the pain?
Right, Thank God for lactad. By the way, I went to it was in Westwood. We went to an ice cream place in Westwood and I thought, oh, dark dog on it. We forgot the lactape and the woman said, oh, here you go. The one behind the counter brought out a basket of lact tape. Help yourself. Oh, I don't think it was creamy stream. It's around the corner from uh, what's the cookie place? Did you reach around the corner from de Reaess? Like a block over right there on campus? It looked new, but had a basket of actin of That is a full service ice cream place. That is smart in twenty twenty three.
I love that it's thoughtful.
Creamastery is Remember when you stored her creamistry in Brentwood? What was it?
Like a dream?
Stuff is so good?
Yeah, we should bring the lactate and go one night dessert night.
Yeah, the first out of my period. Nothing hits better than that.
Oh yeah, how you doing?
Okay?
It was in Somnia Cookies. I'm sure it wasn't a resting place. It was Insomnia Cookies.
Oh delicious.
Actually was just thinking though.
Uh.
Robbie really timed the proposal perfectly, because had he done it a week later, I would call my period in the white dress in the white dress, and I would have been crampy and bloated.
He's a smart man, smart man.
I don't know if he knew, but we'll say he knew. He knew, so yeah, he was cycle synced with.
You when his girls in her parllicular face.
Wait, so when you got proposed to, was that a good phase to be in for proposal?
Well, you're more emotional, which explains like I was crying so much.
I'm sure a different time of.
The picular face. If you had got down on my knee, I'd have been like, bitch, tell me.
I forgot to tell you what the black outfit was ultimate cool girl. Okay.
I got a lot of messages from scrubbers at night saying this is the epitome of a cool girl outfit, and I was like, thank you, we.
Had already described like your style was cool girl. It was it was your vibe that we were talking about.
But what was funny is everybody else also is saying, like, gets engaged, stops wearing white?
Who is she?
Because like, now that I've been now that I finally gotten engaged, I like haven't worn white at all. I'm more like all bright colors and black this weekend. But I'm like I don't need to manifest anymore because it happened.
Yeah, you can wear white just whenever you want.
In my bridal era, have we made any moves forward that we can report upon?
No?
No, okay, Yeah, I'm just gonna ask every week and see if there's any other I.
Will tell you that it's very overwhelming, Like it was funny on our family meeting agenda.
The last thing was like wedding planning.
Where do we start?
Where do you start?
I think ven? I think you start venue.
Incorrect incorrect guest list use like a number that's avenue.
But doesn't it make it easier if if the venue is like this is the cap, and then you can cap the guest list like it almost gives you like an excuse because if you just go off your guest list, you're going to need to be married in a big field. Yeah, get a big white tent.
Yeah, at least the YouTube theater.
Yeah, I love that very Roman, very Roman Empire colseum exactly.
Yeah.
So you're starting with guest list, correct? Oh, I'm going to reach out to so far they have available?
Yeah?
Yeah, I get some dance?
Will you have a live band?
I just told you that.
I don't know what would you prefer?
Whatever?
Robbie wants a sleek, like fitted gown of bridal dress or puffy one wedding dress or like puffy princess.
I'm thinking sleek and like chic.
I think I'm so excited to see what you go for because I feel like it changes when you go actually shop.
I know, because like the thought of me in a puffy dress makes me like not swoon. But I'm thinking of like.
Like think of like.
Actual spit take.
I'm thinking like.
Why, I don't know, I just feel like I don't know, I don't know. I just never have seen I've just never envisioned that for myself.
I don't picture you in a puffy dress at all at all.
Like I just feel like I'd look like a cupcake. No offense to anyone that's had a puppy dress.
Like style to me.
Yeah, I'm thinking kind of like Ralph Lauren Bride.
Okay, can you describe that for those of us who maybe don't have that on the.
Like classic timeless chic but sexy. Yeah, like low back, Yeah, maybe like a side boob.
Maybe we do reception dress side boob, Maybe do two dresses to dresses.
It sounds like it sounds like you're heading in that direction.
Yeah, but side boob reception is great. Hi, ponytail, side boob, That's fine, let's keep it.
I do know that I'm gonna let my bridesmaids do whatever dress they want.
So you're welcome in the right color, in the right color, yes, great.
I'm going to I'm going to pick a color that I want and then just tell them to get whatever dress they want. I want to approve it. I don't want like some cupcake dresses up there.
Did we ever talk abound the podcast?
How I sent you the dress for Diana Klein's wedding?
No, I said, wait, did we talk about this?
No?
Or I sent Tanya kind of like a we definitely did not talk about this, Like, how would you describe the dress?
So she sent me a picture.
We're going for Dean and Caitlin's wedding, sending pictures of my Becca sends me this dress. It's like a black dress and it's like all these cutouts in the front, boobs outside.
Straight from the euphoria wardress, very very sexy.
Beca goes. I got this, and I was like, really for the mountain chic wedding. I was so confused.
And then I was like Becca always tells me not to go super sexy at weddings, and now she's like getting this, and.
She was, I like kept it going for a minute because this is fun because I always tell Tanya I'm always like, you know, there's a time and a place. So she sent me hers it's like long, sleep flowy, like very like pretty mountain cheek. You're gonna go, I'm gonna do this for wedding, but I need a welcome party dress and she goes, are you really? I said, yeah, maybe with like a blazer over it, and she said, I can't tell if you're joking or serious. I always feel like you tell me not to wear slutty to weddings, but I'm into it. And then Robie goes, it doesn't feel very aspen, Well, that's that's gonna be what I show up brides maid. Yeah, something elegant, right right, Like that's.
Yeah, Like I want to see your dresses, but I'm but I'm not gonna pick out your dresses.
Does that make sense?
Yeah? What flavor cake?
Good question? Yeah?
Cake?
Wow? No cake? What flavor each other's faces?
I don't want to smear anything bars.
Everybody.
No, I think like I like the idea of having like a dessert area. It's like different stuff. No pie, but all different types of desserts, you know, just like.
A dessert bar, like a dessert bar, and pulp crackers.
Exactly, Alm and pulp crackers for all.
Yeah, will you have a chocolate fountain?
Oh my god?
No, I like, actually, maybe I'm curious to know if you do DJ or band, because that's y'all you do love music and dancing.
But like with a band of DJ, you can play all your favorite songs. With a band, you kind of locked into what they know how to play.
Right, Interesting thoughts.
Remember how good Ben and Jess's band was. Band was like the best I've ever heard.
Yeah, but I was thinking like DJ Triple XL would be kind of cool too, you know I love DJ.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
There's so much to think about, and like I want. I asked Sophia if she would sing Invisible String at the wedding. Then I don't know, like when does she do that? She do that after the ceremony or does she do it as I walk down the aisle?
She could do it, like we're well, I don't know, are y'all going to do like a jew like a Jewish slash Christian wedding.
I don't think so, like you're not going to do either or like general, I think so because you could do it.
We're like sometimes I don't know if this is a religious thing, but sometimes people like light their candles, like have two candles and then light one, like signifying like the two candles one. So maybe during that she could be singing and y'all kind of just like talk and exchange like words of each other. Intimately, what school is you can do absolutely anything you want fun. You could make it whatever.
I like the idea of invisible string being played acoustically as you walk down the aisle. That's that is that is goosebump inducing a year out or whenever. This thing is like that sounds amazing.
But it's not going to be played on the guitar.
She's going to sing it with someone with her with a guitar.
Yeah, I would think so, yes, amazing like a violent.
Violence, Oh my gosh, string cote.
Oh my god, have Sophia sing the whole the whole reception?
Give her.
She's like, can I have some.
Can I get some tea?
Now?
Some throat tea throat coat the next song.
Yeah, there's a lot of there's like just like a lot to think about.
Well, it's fun because you have a lot of people kind of in the same boat as you, Like Ali is about to get married, Like you're kind of in that You're in like a sweet spot where people have done it. I feel like that you can reach out to him be like, hey, what would you do or what would you do different? Yeah?
So yeah, all good fun party. That's kind of where our head's at.
I think, no matter what, it's going to be a fun party. So that's all for today. We'll be back next week with more wedding updates. Are we We are back on go oh yeah, we have a we act actually do have book club this Thursday. It's chapter Well, part nine, which is Dragons through Part thirteen, which is Imagine, and we will be discussing those on Thursday.
Yep, I'm losing my boys. I don't know what's going on with me.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay. Is that high note you hit at the beginning of the episode happened as we speak, And she's in white pants, which is brave.
I'm a modern woman to do what I want you do what I want. My period doesn't have me.
I have my period, and with that we love you so much.
