Why are so many of us are unknowingly blocking ourselves from feeling loved whilst desperately trying to chase it?

Harry Reis is a renowned social psychologist and Professor at the University of Rochester who has spent decades researching love, intimacy, vulnerability, and what actually makes humans feel connected. He recently co-authored the book 'How to Feel More Loved' with Sonja Lyubomirsky, who is one of the world’s leading happiness researchers. Ripper collab right there, huh!

We spoke about online dating checklists, social media validation, the weird performance of modern identity, AI relationships, conflict, growth, and the fear most of us carry that if people really knew us… they’d leave. Harry also dropped one idea worth pondering... that love isn’t just romance. It’s belonging... it's being seen, understood, valued, and safe enough to be fully human around other people.

There’s also a lot in this one about the tension between comfort and growth too. Why relationships that never challenge us don’t actually deepen us. Why rupture and repair matters. Why conflict isn’t failure. And why the things that shape us most are usually the hard conversations, awkward truths, and moments where we stop hiding behind the polished version of ourselves. 

Also… we somehow ended up talking about robot partners, Star Trek, and whether AI could ever replace human love. So, there’s that...

 

SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS

Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au

HARRY REIS

Website: howtofeelloved.com/

TIFFANEE COOK

Linktree:  linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches

Website: tiffcook.com

Why are so many of us are unknowingly blocking ourselves from feeling loved whilst desperately trying to chase it?
Harry Reis is a renowned social psychologist and Professor at the University of Rochester who has spent decades researching love, intimacy, vulnerability, and what actually makes humans feel connected. He recently co-authored the book 'How to Feel More Loved' with Sonja Lyubomirsky, who is one of the world&rsquo;s leading happiness researchers. Ripper collab right there, huh!
We spoke about online dating checklists, social media validation, the weird performance of modern identity, AI relationships, conflict, growth, and the fear most of us carry that if people really knew us&hellip; they&rsquo;d leave. Harry also dropped one idea worth pondering... that love isn&rsquo;t just romance. It&rsquo;s belonging... it's being seen, understood, valued, and safe enough to be fully human around other people.
There&rsquo;s also a lot in this one about the tension between comfort and growth too. Why relationships that never challenge us don&rsquo;t actually deepen us. Why rupture and repair matters. Why conflict isn&rsquo;t failure. And why the things that shape us most are usually the hard conversations, awkward truths, and moments where we stop hiding behind the polished version of ourselves.&nbsp;
Also&hellip; we somehow ended up talking about robot partners, Star Trek, and whether AI could ever replace human love. So, there&rsquo;s that...
&nbsp;
SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS
Website: <a href="http://www.testartfamilylawyers.com.au">testartfamilylawyers.com.au</a>
HARRY REIS
Website: <a href="https://www.howtofeelloved.com/">howtofeelloved.com/</a>
TIFFANEE COOK
Linktree: &nbsp;<a href="https://linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches">linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches</a>
Website: <a href="https://www.tiffcook.com">tiffcook.com</a>

Life hits hard. Good. So do we.
Roll With The Punches is a front-row seat to the messy, beautiful, brutal bits of being human.

Hosted by Tiff Cook - former boxer, coach, speaker, rascal, and someone who’s copped a few uppercuts from life and keeps getting back up. She sits down with global survivors, scientists, rebels, rockstars, and everyday legends to ask one thing:

What does it really take to get back up when life drops you?

We talk breakdowns, breakthroughs, big truths, and the bullsh*t we all carry. Behind the masks. Beneath the armour. Real conversations that crack something open in all of us.

We’re built to break.
And we become dangerous by design.
Honest work over hard work. Every damn time.

Life hits hard. Good. So do we. Roll With The Punches is a front-row seat to the messy, beautiful, brutal bits of being human.
Hosted by Tiff Cook - former boxer, coach, speaker, rascal, and someone who&rsquo;s copped a few uppercuts from life and keeps getting back up. She sits down with global survivors, scientists, rebels, rockstars, and everyday legends to ask one thing:
What does it really take to get back up when life drops you?
We talk breakdowns, breakthroughs, big truths, and the bullsh*t we all carry. Behind the masks. Beneath the armour. Real conversations that crack something open in all of us.
We&rsquo;re built to break. And we become dangerous by design. Honest work over hard work. Every damn time.

Roll With The Punches

Aussie host Tiffanee Cook is an athlete, performance coach, speaker and self-proclaimed eternal student of life. Making an impact through storytelling and science as she invites you to join her in exploring the human experience. From real life encounters with tragedy, vulnerability and trauma to exploring all things human experience with world renowned experts, scientists, psychologists & thought leaders.

 

Aussie host Tiffanee Cook is an athlete, performance coach, speaker and self-proclaimed eternal student of life. Making an impact through storytelling and science as she invites you to join her in exploring the human experience. From real life encounters with tragedy, vulnerability and trauma to exploring all things human experience with world renowned experts, scientists, psychologists &amp; thought leaders.
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Why We're Blocking Ourselves from Feeling Loved | Harry Reis - 1018

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/clips/b7701abe-c228-4abc-a29d-b448002acf52/transcript