In the 17th century, Portugal demanded tribute from the African nations of Ndongo and Matamba, but Queen Nzinga looked up from her 60-man harem and said nah, I'm busy. When they tried to overpower her on the battlefield, she married a neighboring warlord with a massive army, and used it to kick their sorry butts out. No matter how hard Portugal tried to subdue her, she kept them Portuguessing!

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