As Social Distortion once sang, “Some people like to gamble/But you, you always lose/Some people like to rock 'n' roll/You're always singin' the blues/You gotta nasty disposition/No one really knows the reason why/You gotta bad, bad reputation/Gonna hang your head down and cry/You got bad, bad luck." This is the tale of Luke Brugnara, the pinnacle of criminal ridiculousness.