Pushkin, and the Emmy goes too, and the Oscar goes to and the People's Choice Award goes to.

Pushkin, and the Emmy goes too, and the Oscar goes to and the People's Choice Award goes to.

Thank you to the Academy for this incredible recognition. I'm so honored.

Thank you to the Academy for this incredible recognition. I'm so honored.

I'm so honored. Everybody wants to know what I would do if I didn't win. I guess we'll never know.

I'm so honored. Everybody wants to know what I would do if I didn't win. I guess we'll never know.

Everybody gets a prize in modern America, actors, writers, musicians. But you know who doesn't get a fancy prize the hardworking administrators of America's elite colleges and universities. For years, I've observed this oversight with what can only be described as dismay, until I decided, damn it, if this country wasn't gonna honor the beleaguered giants of the Ivy League, then I would. My name is Malcolm Gladwell. You're listening to Revisionist History, my podcast about things overlooked and misunderstood. In this episode, we are pleased to inaugurate the first annual Revisionist History Higher Education Award in honor of our company's namesake. We're gonna call them the Pushkin Process. Folks, these prizes are super prestigious. You can't see this because this is audio, But we have little gold statuettes of Alexander Pushkin himself. You're gonna walk into the lobby of your favorite eighteenth century ivy colored marble and granite University Administration building, and they are in a glass case. Below the tiffany chandelier is going to be a Pushkin. That is, if you're lucky. I promise that over the next few years, the giants of American academia will be graced with a Pushkin statuette in recognition of one stupendous achievement or another. And in this episode we begin our awards program with the mac Daddy of Pushkin Prizes, the George Santos Memorial Pushkin Prize for egregiously Deceptive Self Promotion.

Everybody gets a prize in modern America, actors, writers, musicians. But you know who doesn't get a fancy prize the hardworking administrators of America's elite colleges and universities. For years, I've observed this oversight with what can only be described as dismay, until I decided, damn it, if this country wasn't gonna honor the beleaguered giants of the Ivy League, then I would. My name is Malcolm Gladwell. You're listening to Revisionist History, my podcast about things overlooked and misunderstood. In this episode, we are pleased to inaugurate the first annual Revisionist History Higher Education Award in honor of our company's namesake. We're gonna call them the Pushkin Process. Folks, these prizes are super prestigious. You can't see this because this is audio, But we have little gold statuettes of Alexander Pushkin himself. You're gonna walk into the lobby of your favorite eighteenth century ivy colored marble and granite University Administration building, and they are in a glass case. Below the tiffany chandelier is going to be a Pushkin. That is, if you're lucky. I promise that over the next few years, the giants of American academia will be graced with a Pushkin statuette in recognition of one stupendous achievement or another. And in this episode we begin our awards program with the mac Daddy of Pushkin Prizes, the George Santos Memorial Pushkin Prize for egregiously Deceptive Self Promotion.

My parents came to this country in search of the American dream. Today I live that American dream, only in this country, only in this country. And the little boy born in a basement apartment in Jackson Heights, Queens in New York City, become a United States Congressman at thirty four. It's a story of survival, of tenacity, of grit as we like to call it.

My parents came to this country in search of the American dream. Today I live that American dream, only in this country, only in this country. And the little boy born in a basement apartment in Jackson Heights, Queens in New York City, become a United States Congressman at thirty four. It's a story of survival, of tenacity, of grit as we like to call it.

Actually it's not a story of survival, tenacity and grit as we like to call it. The story of George Santos, Congressman from Long Island, is the story of someone who made up basically everything on his resume. And it is that shamelessness that we seek to reward with the first of the coveted Pushkin Prizes.

Actually it's not a story of survival, tenacity and grit as we like to call it. The story of George Santos, Congressman from Long Island, is the story of someone who made up basically everything on his resume. And it is that shamelessness that we seek to reward with the first of the coveted Pushkin Prizes.

Good morning, chabatchalom to everybody. Thank you for being here, Thank you for having me. We're no stranger to persecution. My grandfather fleeing Ukraine in nineteen twenties to Belgium.

Good morning, chabatchalom to everybody. Thank you for being here, Thank you for having me. We're no stranger to persecution. My grandfather fleeing Ukraine in nineteen twenties to Belgium.

Turns out he's not Jewish. Santos said his mom was a nine to eleven survivor. Turns out she wasn't even in New York City during nine to eleven. He said he worked at Goldman Sachs. Turns out he never set foot in Golden Sex. And then there was this tallest of tall tales, which I love so much.

Turns out he's not Jewish. Santos said his mom was a nine to eleven survivor. Turns out she wasn't even in New York City during nine to eleven. He said he worked at Goldman Sachs. Turns out he never set foot in Golden Sex. And then there was this tallest of tall tales, which I love so much.

Hey, you know what's funny, George. You go right to the heart here of me, Sid and Bernie.

Hey, you know what's funny, George. You go right to the heart here of me, Sid and Bernie.

This is Santos on a local New York radio show Sit and Friends in the Morning during his first congressional run in twenty twenty, and the host Sid Rosenberg starts talking about sports.

This is Santos on a local New York radio show Sit and Friends in the Morning during his first congressional run in twenty twenty, and the host Sid Rosenberg starts talking about sports.

At the very end of your Biography, it says in his spare time, George Anthony enjoys volleyball and tennis.

At the very end of your Biography, it says in his spare time, George Anthony enjoys volleyball and tennis.

Rosenberg says, that's funny because both his daughter and his co host daughter are avid volleyball and tennis players. Then Santo's response.

Rosenberg says, that's funny because both his daughter and his co host daughter are avid volleyball and tennis players. Then Santo's response.

You know, it's funny. I actually went to school on a volleyball scholarship and did what I did. Yeah, when I was in Beru, we were the number one volleyball.

You know, it's funny. I actually went to school on a volleyball scholarship and did what I did. Yeah, when I was in Beru, we were the number one volleyball.

Did you graduate from Baruk? Did you graduate from there?

Did you graduate from Baruk? Did you graduate from there?

Yeah?

Yeah?

So did I did?

So did I did?

I did so?

I did so?

Did I?

Did I?

Oh? Very cool, great institutions. But it's funny that we went to play against Harvard Yale and we lay them. We were champions across the entire Northeast corridor. Every school that came up against us, they were shaking at the time. And it's funny. I was the smallest guy and I'm six two. We had on our block, on our on our on our block alone, there were six seven, six eight. These guys weren't jumping, they were just stretching their arms up. We were, we were and all of us could have been playing basketball, but we chose volleyball because it was easier. So it was a great time I look, I sacrificed both my knees and got very nice replacements, knee replacements from playing volleyball. That's how serious I took the game.

Oh? Very cool, great institutions. But it's funny that we went to play against Harvard Yale and we lay them. We were champions across the entire Northeast corridor. Every school that came up against us, they were shaking at the time. And it's funny. I was the smallest guy and I'm six two. We had on our block, on our on our on our block alone, there were six seven, six eight. These guys weren't jumping, they were just stretching their arms up. We were, we were and all of us could have been playing basketball, but we chose volleyball because it was easier. So it was a great time I look, I sacrificed both my knees and got very nice replacements, knee replacements from playing volleyball. That's how serious I took the game.

Well, that's how serious it's taking politics as well. Remember this name, folks, George Santos out in the third district.

Well, that's how serious it's taking politics as well. Remember this name, folks, George Santos out in the third district.

This is, to my mind, the gold standard George Santos fabrication, a wedding cake of prevarication. The Washington posted a breakdown to the tape and here's what they found. Has start with the smallest lies and work backwards. Bruke didn't be Yale at volleyball because Yale doesn't have a varsity volleyball team. Santels later said he played the position of striker. Volleyball teams don't have strikers.

This is, to my mind, the gold standard George Santos fabrication, a wedding cake of prevarication. The Washington posted a breakdown to the tape and here's what they found. Has start with the smallest lies and work backwards. Bruke didn't be Yale at volleyball because Yale doesn't have a varsity volleyball team. Santels later said he played the position of striker. Volleyball teams don't have strikers.

That sucker.

That sucker.

Nor did Santos have a volleyball scholarship at Baruque because Baruch doesn't give out volleyball scholarships. And at six ' to two, he would not have been the shortest player in the team even if he had been on the team, but he wasn't. He never played volleyball at Baruk, maybe because he never attended Baruk at all, which means his knees are perfectly fine, unless that is, he blew them out playing some other imaginary sport. That's seven lies in a row, and if you listen to the tape, it's clear that he made up the whole string on the fly. The man is an icon. And with our first Pushkin Prize, we ask what American college came closest in the past year to this lofty standard. Believe me, they were many nominees, all of them worthy. Envelope please, and the winner is Columbia University. The big beginning when you heard when you said, I want to investigate Columbia's rise to number two, did you, in the back of your mind think there might be something questionable going on?

Nor did Santos have a volleyball scholarship at Baruque because Baruch doesn't give out volleyball scholarships. And at six ' to two, he would not have been the shortest player in the team even if he had been on the team, but he wasn't. He never played volleyball at Baruk, maybe because he never attended Baruk at all, which means his knees are perfectly fine, unless that is, he blew them out playing some other imaginary sport. That's seven lies in a row, and if you listen to the tape, it's clear that he made up the whole string on the fly. The man is an icon. And with our first Pushkin Prize, we ask what American college came closest in the past year to this lofty standard. Believe me, they were many nominees, all of them worthy. Envelope please, and the winner is Columbia University. The big beginning when you heard when you said, I want to investigate Columbia's rise to number two, did you, in the back of your mind think there might be something questionable going on?

Yes, not even no, not in the back of my mind. At the front of my mind.

Yes, not even no, not in the back of my mind. At the front of my mind.

You're listening to a math professor at Columbia named Michael Thaddius fifties long hair. I went to see him in his office on the Columbia campus, full of books and strange, captivating jottings on the wall. My father was a mathematician. I have great affection for the species. If you google Thaddius, you'll find papers that begin with things like we discuss simpletic cutting for Hamiltonian actions of non Abelian compact groups. By using a degeneration based on the Vinburg monoid, we give in good cases a global quotient description of a surgery construction introduced by Woodward n mind ranking, and show it can be interpreted in algebra geometric terms. I have no idea what that means, but Michael Thaddius does, which is to say that when it comes to numbers and statistics and things, he's someone to take very seriously. So one day, not long ago, he hears something that doesn't seem right.

You're listening to a math professor at Columbia named Michael Thaddius fifties long hair. I went to see him in his office on the Columbia campus, full of books and strange, captivating jottings on the wall. My father was a mathematician. I have great affection for the species. If you google Thaddius, you'll find papers that begin with things like we discuss simpletic cutting for Hamiltonian actions of non Abelian compact groups. By using a degeneration based on the Vinburg monoid, we give in good cases a global quotient description of a surgery construction introduced by Woodward n mind ranking, and show it can be interpreted in algebra geometric terms. I have no idea what that means, but Michael Thaddius does, which is to say that when it comes to numbers and statistics and things, he's someone to take very seriously. So one day, not long ago, he hears something that doesn't seem right.

So I saw that Columbia had risen to number two. I think in fact, this was even mentioned by our own dean at a faculty meeting. I think that's how I found out about it.

So I saw that Columbia had risen to number two. I think in fact, this was even mentioned by our own dean at a faculty meeting. I think that's how I found out about it.

The dean announces to everyone, I have amazing news. Columbia has just risen to number two in the US News College rankings, just a hair behind Princeton. Everyone basks in the glow of the school's extraordinary achievement, because you know what a high US News rankings means, more alumni dollars, more prestige, more applications, more excitement and desire from neurotic upper middle class suburban parents, for anyone with Ivy League dreams, it's the holy grail. I mean, if you have a kid in high school and your kids said, Mom, I just got into Columbia, you will be over the moon. And why would you be over the moon Because Columbia is number two in the US News rankings. So the Dean makes her big announcement, but Michael Thaddeus, the numbers guy, isn't buying.

The dean announces to everyone, I have amazing news. Columbia has just risen to number two in the US News College rankings, just a hair behind Princeton. Everyone basks in the glow of the school's extraordinary achievement, because you know what a high US News rankings means, more alumni dollars, more prestige, more applications, more excitement and desire from neurotic upper middle class suburban parents, for anyone with Ivy League dreams, it's the holy grail. I mean, if you have a kid in high school and your kids said, Mom, I just got into Columbia, you will be over the moon. And why would you be over the moon Because Columbia is number two in the US News rankings. So the Dean makes her big announcement, but Michael Thaddeus, the numbers guy, isn't buying.

And that just piqued my curiosity. Two is pretty high ranking. You know, In particular, we were tied with Harvard and MIT, which are institutions that objectively have certain big advantages over us. They have much larger endowments, they have much more space than we do. And I just you know, I've also over the years, I've taken a greater and greater, perhaps almost obsessive interest in facts and figures about the university. I look at a lot of websites where the numbers appear, and I just wondered, how could Columbia have performed so well on this ranking as to be tied with institutions that have these objective advantages over it. How do the numbers break down?

And that just piqued my curiosity. Two is pretty high ranking. You know, In particular, we were tied with Harvard and MIT, which are institutions that objectively have certain big advantages over us. They have much larger endowments, they have much more space than we do. And I just you know, I've also over the years, I've taken a greater and greater, perhaps almost obsessive interest in facts and figures about the university. I look at a lot of websites where the numbers appear, and I just wondered, how could Columbia have performed so well on this ranking as to be tied with institutions that have these objective advantages over it. How do the numbers break down?

Columbia started in these rankings at eighteenth, then began a steady, dramatic climb past Cornell, Washington, w Rice, Vanderbilt, Brown, Dartmouth, Northwestern, Duke, Caltech, Penn Johns Hopkins, University of Chicago, Yale, Stanford. In the past five years alone, they've gone from fifth to third to second, shooting like a shiny asteroid past their glittering peers.

Columbia started in these rankings at eighteenth, then began a steady, dramatic climb past Cornell, Washington, w Rice, Vanderbilt, Brown, Dartmouth, Northwestern, Duke, Caltech, Penn Johns Hopkins, University of Chicago, Yale, Stanford. In the past five years alone, they've gone from fifth to third to second, shooting like a shiny asteroid past their glittering peers.

I'm a runner.

I'm a runner.

You know.

You know.

In the running world, the tell for whether someone is doping is in an unexpected improvement. You know, when the twenty seven year old miler suddenly lops three seconds off their personal best. I see you say, sudden improvement is the tell sudden out of context improvement. Oh my. The first thing Thadius did after the faculty meeting is by a subscription to the US News Rankings. He downloaded the data Columbia submitted for his application, and his eye falls on class size. Columbia reported to US News that eighty two point five percent of its classes had less than twenty students. Thaddius looked at that number and thought, huh.

In the running world, the tell for whether someone is doping is in an unexpected improvement. You know, when the twenty seven year old miler suddenly lops three seconds off their personal best. I see you say, sudden improvement is the tell sudden out of context improvement. Oh my. The first thing Thadius did after the faculty meeting is by a subscription to the US News Rankings. He downloaded the data Columbia submitted for his application, and his eye falls on class size. Columbia reported to US News that eighty two point five percent of its classes had less than twenty students. Thaddius looked at that number and thought, huh.

Anyone who was taught here as I have for the last twenty five years, knows that our class sizes are not particularly small for an elite university, and that they have been steadily growing. I'm teaching calculus or I have just finished teaching a calculus course that had about seventy six students, and that's typical for a course of that nature. T us News said that what was it again? I think eighty two point five percent of all classes enrolled below twenty students, and that just did not square with my experience at all.

Anyone who was taught here as I have for the last twenty five years, knows that our class sizes are not particularly small for an elite university, and that they have been steadily growing. I'm teaching calculus or I have just finished teaching a calculus course that had about seventy six students, and that's typical for a course of that nature. T us News said that what was it again? I think eighty two point five percent of all classes enrolled below twenty students, and that just did not square with my experience at all.

So he decided to fact check Columbia's claim. He went to the university's class catalog and pulled out the data on all thirty thousand of the school's classes.

So he decided to fact check Columbia's claim. He went to the university's class catalog and pulled out the data on all thirty thousand of the school's classes.

I took the HTML code of those pages, downloaded the source code, concatenated all the files. Then I used a text editor, Emacs to edit the resulting gigantic file in such a way that I turned it into a database comma separated database with the course names, numbers, and enrollments, and then I opened it up in Excel.

I took the HTML code of those pages, downloaded the source code, concatenated all the files. Then I used a text editor, Emacs to edit the resulting gigantic file in such a way that I turned it into a database comma separated database with the course names, numbers, and enrollments, and then I opened it up in Excel.

He analyzed the data, double checked his math, and realized his pokey feeling was justified.

He analyzed the data, double checked his math, and realized his pokey feeling was justified.

I was able to arrive at an estimate it was more like sixty two to sixty eight percent, a far cry from eighty three percent.

I was able to arrive at an estimate it was more like sixty two to sixty eight percent, a far cry from eighty three percent.

Now he's getting suspicious. He picks another number. The US News rankings penalizes the school if it has too many part time faculty. Columbia told US News that it only had one hundred and thirty seven part timers, but that has found that the school also had to report the statistic to the Department of Education.

Now he's getting suspicious. He picks another number. The US News rankings penalizes the school if it has too many part time faculty. Columbia told US News that it only had one hundred and thirty seven part timers, but that has found that the school also had to report the statistic to the Department of Education.

The number report of the government was over one thousand, and I think that that's the more accurate number. To me, this is a really important figure that the balance between full time and part time faculty is a crucial matter for the future of intellectual life and the future of American universities. If we just casualize our faculty, we switch to the sort of gig economy model where most people are working contingally at part time. That's going to be disastrous for the quality of education. It's going to be disastrous for the quality of intellectual life. And so we need to have honest, reliable figures about this. And yet we have these two figures from Columbia that differ by a factor of eight.

The number report of the government was over one thousand, and I think that that's the more accurate number. To me, this is a really important figure that the balance between full time and part time faculty is a crucial matter for the future of intellectual life and the future of American universities. If we just casualize our faculty, we switch to the sort of gig economy model where most people are working contingally at part time. That's going to be disastrous for the quality of education. It's going to be disastrous for the quality of intellectual life. And so we need to have honest, reliable figures about this. And yet we have these two figures from Columbia that differ by a factor of eight.

He kept going, US News wants to know what percentage of your faculty has a terminal degree in their field. Basically, do they have a PhD?

He kept going, US News wants to know what percentage of your faculty has a terminal degree in their field. Basically, do they have a PhD?

Or not.

Or not.

Columbia reported the highest terminal degree number of any college in the entire country, ninety nine point five percent, which US News rounded up two one hundred percent. That's everyone. So Thadeus goes through the faculty directory and looks to see if there's anyone teaching at Columbia who only has a bachelor's degree and finds dozens and dozens of faculty with no more than a BA to their name, And.

Columbia reported the highest terminal degree number of any college in the entire country, ninety nine point five percent, which US News rounded up two one hundred percent. That's everyone. So Thadeus goes through the faculty directory and looks to see if there's anyone teaching at Columbia who only has a bachelor's degree and finds dozens and dozens of faculty with no more than a BA to their name, And.

That was enough that there was no way that the percentage could have been ninety nine point five.

That was enough that there was no way that the percentage could have been ninety nine point five.

Columbia says it's student faculty ratio is six to one. It's not. It's more like eleven to one.

Columbia says it's student faculty ratio is six to one. It's not. It's more like eleven to one.

On and on every single figure that where I could check it independently, I found a significant discrepancy between what was reported to US News and what I could confirm elsewhere.

On and on every single figure that where I could check it independently, I found a significant discrepancy between what was reported to US News and what I could confirm elsewhere.

Then he sat down and wrote up a massive analysis of his findings, charts, grafts, computer analyzes pages upon pages. He puts it up on his faculty web page, and there it sits for weeks and weeks until, for some strange reason, someone posts a link to Thaddeus's manifesto on the message board of the running website Let's run dot com. If you are unfamiliar with the message boards of Let's Run, here are some typical threads. Twoey runs Crazy four to twenty three anchor leg for NC State, but still not enough for DMR or At twenty seven, I finally realized every tattoo anyone has is for attracting a mate or rip Spencer, the official dog of the Boston Marathon, has died. Now how do I know about this? Because Let's Run is one of my favorite websites. I am one of those people dutifully reading the Let's Run message boards. So I see a link and click on it. Because you know how I feel about the US News rankings. I'm obsessed with them. I've lost track of how many revisionist history episodes have been devoted to testifying to their stupidity. I don't understand why college administrators care so much about them, why parents and their college bound teenagers go nuts about them. When law schools and medical schools began dropping out of the US rankings, I walked around the streets of New York pounding on my chest like I was personally responsible. Do you see what I'm saying? I was the target audience for the Thaddeus expose.

Then he sat down and wrote up a massive analysis of his findings, charts, grafts, computer analyzes pages upon pages. He puts it up on his faculty web page, and there it sits for weeks and weeks until, for some strange reason, someone posts a link to Thaddeus's manifesto on the message board of the running website Let's run dot com. If you are unfamiliar with the message boards of Let's Run, here are some typical threads. Twoey runs Crazy four to twenty three anchor leg for NC State, but still not enough for DMR or At twenty seven, I finally realized every tattoo anyone has is for attracting a mate or rip Spencer, the official dog of the Boston Marathon, has died. Now how do I know about this? Because Let's Run is one of my favorite websites. I am one of those people dutifully reading the Let's Run message boards. So I see a link and click on it. Because you know how I feel about the US News rankings. I'm obsessed with them. I've lost track of how many revisionist history episodes have been devoted to testifying to their stupidity. I don't understand why college administrators care so much about them, why parents and their college bound teenagers go nuts about them. When law schools and medical schools began dropping out of the US rankings, I walked around the streets of New York pounding on my chest like I was personally responsible. Do you see what I'm saying? I was the target audience for the Thaddeus expose.

Again, I salute you. You were sort of the tipping point, as I said, I mean, but when you started tweeting about it, that was when the rest of the world started to take notice. So I'm grateful for that.

Again, I salute you. You were sort of the tipping point, as I said, I mean, but when you started tweeting about it, that was when the rest of the world started to take notice. So I'm grateful for that.

Oh, the first nice thing anyone has ever said about my Twitter. So the story goes everywhere. Colombia goes into a defensive crouch, and the US News reanalyzes situation and downgrades Columbia back to eighteen. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I know what you're thinking. The Pushkin Prize is a highly prestigious award. Those statuettes are coveted. So how can we be sure that Columbia meets the elevated standard set by our namesake George Santos? Very good question. Please join me as we break it down. To my mind, there are three criteria Columbia needs to meet to rise to Santo's level deception. The first is gratuitousness. That's the power of the Santos bit about his volleyball career at Baruk. This was a lie fundamentally different from his claims to being Jewish, working at Golden Sachs and running a charity for un wanted pets. Sorry I left that one out before. Those were all lies that helped his case with the voters of Long Island. A Jewish investment banker who loves domestic animals is pretty much the Long Island equivalent of George Clooney. But no one was going to vote for him because he blew out two knees battling as the shortest man on the barof volleyball squad. He had them a Jewish goldman Sachs and abandoned kittens. The volleyball lie was pure gilding the lily, and that's what makes it so heroic. Santoslied when it wasn't even in his interest to lie. Now does Columbia meet this standard? Was their deception gratuitous? In order to answer this question, I turned to Revisionist History's resident data scientist, Lauren Lavelle. Lauren Lauren Lauren, Hey, Malcolm, we ride again. Some of you may remember Lauren from the Project dillardpisode of Revision's History. A group of undergraduates at Read College hacked their way into the US News algorithm, which gave them a computer model that can test any hypothesis about a school's rankings. So I asked Lauren, who studied statistics at Read, to use the model to figure out how a historically black college could rise in the US News rankings. You may recall her answer. It was the best way for a college full of black students to rise in the US News rankings was to let in lots of white students.

Oh, the first nice thing anyone has ever said about my Twitter. So the story goes everywhere. Colombia goes into a defensive crouch, and the US News reanalyzes situation and downgrades Columbia back to eighteen. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I know what you're thinking. The Pushkin Prize is a highly prestigious award. Those statuettes are coveted. So how can we be sure that Columbia meets the elevated standard set by our namesake George Santos? Very good question. Please join me as we break it down. To my mind, there are three criteria Columbia needs to meet to rise to Santo's level deception. The first is gratuitousness. That's the power of the Santos bit about his volleyball career at Baruk. This was a lie fundamentally different from his claims to being Jewish, working at Golden Sachs and running a charity for un wanted pets. Sorry I left that one out before. Those were all lies that helped his case with the voters of Long Island. A Jewish investment banker who loves domestic animals is pretty much the Long Island equivalent of George Clooney. But no one was going to vote for him because he blew out two knees battling as the shortest man on the barof volleyball squad. He had them a Jewish goldman Sachs and abandoned kittens. The volleyball lie was pure gilding the lily, and that's what makes it so heroic. Santoslied when it wasn't even in his interest to lie. Now does Columbia meet this standard? Was their deception gratuitous? In order to answer this question, I turned to Revisionist History's resident data scientist, Lauren Lavelle. Lauren Lauren Lauren, Hey, Malcolm, we ride again. Some of you may remember Lauren from the Project dillardpisode of Revision's History. A group of undergraduates at Read College hacked their way into the US News algorithm, which gave them a computer model that can test any hypothesis about a school's rankings. So I asked Lauren, who studied statistics at Read, to use the model to figure out how a historically black college could rise in the US News rankings. You may recall her answer. It was the best way for a college full of black students to rise in the US News rankings was to let in lots of white students.

And I can't emphasize enough that this model was built by undergraduate students for a class project. They did a great job, and this model works amazingly. You know, it wasn't some super prestigious data scientists getting paid millions of dollars to do this for some super prestigious university like it's students.

And I can't emphasize enough that this model was built by undergraduate students for a class project. They did a great job, and this model works amazingly. You know, it wasn't some super prestigious data scientists getting paid millions of dollars to do this for some super prestigious university like it's students.

In other words, the barriers to manipulation are low. Yes, So I said to Lauren, let's use the trusted Read college model to get at this question of gratuitousness. I send her a list of questions starting with tell me which of Columbia's whoppers mattered the most, and her conclusion was a shocker.

In other words, the barriers to manipulation are low. Yes, So I said to Lauren, let's use the trusted Read college model to get at this question of gratuitousness. I send her a list of questions starting with tell me which of Columbia's whoppers mattered the most, and her conclusion was a shocker.

The thing that really making the biggest difference is the faculty resources category. So for faculty resources, we have our class size r percent of our faculty that are full time and our student of faculty ratio.

The thing that really making the biggest difference is the faculty resources category. So for faculty resources, we have our class size r percent of our faculty that are full time and our student of faculty ratio.

US newsgrades all universities on a scale of zero to one hundred, so Princeton at number one is one hundred. Columbia is a close second at ninety six. According to Lauren's analysis, fiddling with just those three variables gave Columbia an eight point boost. And the reason that's unexpected is because faculty resources only count for a tiny amount in the overall US News ranking algorithm. You tinker with those variables, you get a massive payoff.

US newsgrades all universities on a scale of zero to one hundred, so Princeton at number one is one hundred. Columbia is a close second at ninety six. According to Lauren's analysis, fiddling with just those three variables gave Columbia an eight point boost. And the reason that's unexpected is because faculty resources only count for a tiny amount in the overall US News ranking algorithm. You tinker with those variables, you get a massive payoff.

Exactly when you change just one or two of them, again, it's only like a one or two point, But when you put all three of them together, it's the synergies between these variables that create these big jumps.

Exactly when you change just one or two of them, again, it's only like a one or two point, But when you put all three of them together, it's the synergies between these variables that create these big jumps.

Wait, so on apausitives. Yeah, this is really interesting because this supports the notion that this was not an accidental happening at Columbia. This this suggests there was some significant thought behind this, because what you told me is something that's not intuitive.

Wait, so on apausitives. Yeah, this is really interesting because this supports the notion that this was not an accidental happening at Columbia. This this suggests there was some significant thought behind this, because what you told me is something that's not intuitive.

Right.

Right.

I would have thought that you could identify one whiz bank that would have given us a massive payoff. We wouldn't have had to do anything else. But what you're saying is no, you actually it's an unexpected area gives you a huge payoff. And also if you want to get a twelve point swing, you have to tinker with a lot of variables. Absolutely, absolutely, And there's some kind of thing greater than the some of its parts that's that work here that you could only stumble on if you went behind the scenes and sort of tried to figure out the murky black box that is US news.

I would have thought that you could identify one whiz bank that would have given us a massive payoff. We wouldn't have had to do anything else. But what you're saying is no, you actually it's an unexpected area gives you a huge payoff. And also if you want to get a twelve point swing, you have to tinker with a lot of variables. Absolutely, absolutely, And there's some kind of thing greater than the some of its parts that's that work here that you could only stumble on if you went behind the scenes and sort of tried to figure out the murky black box that is US news.

Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. So can we do screen share on here? Is that a thing? Can I show you my code?

Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. So can we do screen share on here? Is that a thing? Can I show you my code?

Can you? Can you tilt your camera to just showing me the thing in I see? Oh oh it's on your screen? Can you screenshare an emo? Lauren, I'm fifty nine years old. I barely know how to work a computer. Sorry, this went on for a bit. This is what happens when a data scientist tries to communicate with a boomer over zoom. Lauren lapsed into geek mode for like twenty minutes, talking about unexpected nonlinearities. Her point was that the way to climb the rankings is not obvious. It's a laundry list of nips and tucks that an unexpected combination give you a facelift. If you tried to do it just by eyeballing the criteria that US News makes public, you'd fail to go back to the point I was saying, so for to my mind, this argues powerfully for some kind of premeditation on the part of Columbia. I mean, we have no idea what they did, so it is all in the realm of speculation. But they basically manufactured a twelve point swing. And it's very hard to imagine how you could manufacture a twelve point swing by the seat of your pants, because it's not intuitive.

Can you? Can you tilt your camera to just showing me the thing in I see? Oh oh it's on your screen? Can you screenshare an emo? Lauren, I'm fifty nine years old. I barely know how to work a computer. Sorry, this went on for a bit. This is what happens when a data scientist tries to communicate with a boomer over zoom. Lauren lapsed into geek mode for like twenty minutes, talking about unexpected nonlinearities. Her point was that the way to climb the rankings is not obvious. It's a laundry list of nips and tucks that an unexpected combination give you a facelift. If you tried to do it just by eyeballing the criteria that US News makes public, you'd fail to go back to the point I was saying, so for to my mind, this argues powerfully for some kind of premeditation on the part of Columbia. I mean, we have no idea what they did, so it is all in the realm of speculation. But they basically manufactured a twelve point swing. And it's very hard to imagine how you could manufacture a twelve point swing by the seat of your pants, because it's not intuitive.

I agree, there's probably some dirty play happening somewhere, Lauren.

I agree, there's probably some dirty play happening somewhere, Lauren.

They hired someone like you, that's what they did. Somewhere out there, there is some brainy twenty six year old with blood on their hands.

They hired someone like you, that's what they did. Somewhere out there, there is some brainy twenty six year old with blood on their hands.

I mean, maybe, to.

I mean, maybe, to.

Be clear, I don't know that they hired someone like Lauren to coordinate this. But here's the crucial fact that puts Columbia in George Santo's territory. Lots of Columbia's inventions don't have much of a payoff, like, for instance, their most spectacular nonsense of all the Big Kahuna concerns something called instructional resources the more money you spend on teaching, the more US News rewards you. And the number of Columbia claim to spend on teaching was hilariously large, just over three billion dollars. That he has spent a huge amount of time trying to figure out just where that preposterous number came from, before he realized they just added in the one point two billion they spend every year on patient care at Columbia's medical center. They're pretending that the person getting an appendect Toby is a student, which is completely and utterly bananas. Now what difference did this particular outrageous bit of Shenanigan make.

Be clear, I don't know that they hired someone like Lauren to coordinate this. But here's the crucial fact that puts Columbia in George Santo's territory. Lots of Columbia's inventions don't have much of a payoff, like, for instance, their most spectacular nonsense of all the Big Kahuna concerns something called instructional resources the more money you spend on teaching, the more US News rewards you. And the number of Columbia claim to spend on teaching was hilariously large, just over three billion dollars. That he has spent a huge amount of time trying to figure out just where that preposterous number came from, before he realized they just added in the one point two billion they spend every year on patient care at Columbia's medical center. They're pretending that the person getting an appendect Toby is a student, which is completely and utterly bananas. Now what difference did this particular outrageous bit of Shenanigan make.

Let's see, I have a graph somewhere. Okay, So Columbia reported that it spends about three billion dollars on an instruction. This is for fiscal year twenty twenty two, and it's consolidated financial statements. They report for instruction and educational administration about two billion dollars.

Let's see, I have a graph somewhere. Okay, So Columbia reported that it spends about three billion dollars on an instruction. This is for fiscal year twenty twenty two, and it's consolidated financial statements. They report for instruction and educational administration about two billion dollars.

Oh. The reason we know this is a lie is that on its official financial statements, which are audited by actual professionals, the school doesn't pull the same stunt.

Oh. The reason we know this is a lie is that on its official financial statements, which are audited by actual professionals, the school doesn't pull the same stunt.

So that's a billion dollars extra that they're reporting to US. News basically, and when that works out on a per student basis, you know, it's a lot of money that they're kind of you feel a billion around.

So that's a billion dollars extra that they're reporting to US. News basically, and when that works out on a per student basis, you know, it's a lot of money that they're kind of you feel a billion around.

With their Are you telling me long that a billion dollars is a lot of money in your book?

With their Are you telling me long that a billion dollars is a lot of money in your book?

Yeah, imagine that, Like this number that's so large the human brain literally can't even understand. Imagine. And yet when we drop that three billion down to two billion dollars, we're still only seeing like a three point drop in the score, two or three points. So from about ninety six to about a ninety four or ninety three three points.

Yeah, imagine that, Like this number that's so large the human brain literally can't even understand. Imagine. And yet when we drop that three billion down to two billion dollars, we're still only seeing like a three point drop in the score, two or three points. So from about ninety six to about a ninety four or ninety three three points.

That's it. If they were only going to cheat by inflating their student instructional expenditures by a billion, they only get a three point jump exactly. Okay, Right, it's good to.

That's it. If they were only going to cheat by inflating their student instructional expenditures by a billion, they only get a three point jump exactly. Okay, Right, it's good to.

Know, which sounds crazy, right, Like that's a lot of money to not really make a big difference in your score.

Know, which sounds crazy, right, Like that's a lot of money to not really make a big difference in your score.

Yeah. So if you're the president of Columbia and I come to you and I say we can drop an imaginary billion into this and we're only getting three points, you're saying, Okay, but I'm not. It's not floating your boat.

Yeah. So if you're the president of Columbia and I come to you and I say we can drop an imaginary billion into this and we're only getting three points, you're saying, Okay, but I'm not. It's not floating your boat.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like a very high return, right, you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like a very high return, right, you know what I'm saying.

It's gratuitous. It's just like George Santos and Baruke volleyball in retrospect. That was their error, wasn't it. They shouldn't have done the bill done. The billion dollar thing was so obvious and egregious, and it gave them such a small payoff. Yeah, why if you're trying to get away with some shenanigans, would.

It's gratuitous. It's just like George Santos and Baruke volleyball in retrospect. That was their error, wasn't it. They shouldn't have done the bill done. The billion dollar thing was so obvious and egregious, and it gave them such a small payoff. Yeah, why if you're trying to get away with some shenanigans, would.

You It's a ridiculous overstatement, like it's more than it's larger than the corresponding figures for Harvard, Yale, and Princeton combined.

You It's a ridiculous overstatement, like it's more than it's larger than the corresponding figures for Harvard, Yale, and Princeton combined.

I know it bananas, Like it's so bananas. Here's my you know what my interpretation is. So there's like some dude man or woman is charged with coming up with a strategy and that that's the one they do last. So it's like it's it's Monday morning at three am. They got a hand in their proposal for hacking the US News. By nine am, they've been up for forty eight hours. They've done all the hard stuff, and they're like, f let's just throw it an extra bill on this.

I know it bananas, Like it's so bananas. Here's my you know what my interpretation is. So there's like some dude man or woman is charged with coming up with a strategy and that that's the one they do last. So it's like it's it's Monday morning at three am. They got a hand in their proposal for hacking the US News. By nine am, they've been up for forty eight hours. They've done all the hard stuff, and they're like, f let's just throw it an extra bill on this.

Why not just throw in a few extra zeros?

Why not just throw in a few extra zeros?

The bar set by George Santos was very high. The Pushkin Prize committee believes Columbia met it okay criteria number two. The second thing our namesake, George Santos teaches us is that you have to show as little remorse as possible. When the furer over his lies was at its peak, he was unruffled.

The bar set by George Santos was very high. The Pushkin Prize committee believes Columbia met it okay criteria number two. The second thing our namesake, George Santos teaches us is that you have to show as little remorse as possible. When the furer over his lies was at its peak, he was unruffled.

I don't understand where these allegations come from. Oh, George Santels lives in a fantasy world or whatever it is that they're trying to elude there, because it's just people who know me know that that's just not the case.

I don't understand where these allegations come from. Oh, George Santels lives in a fantasy world or whatever it is that they're trying to elude there, because it's just people who know me know that that's just not the case.

People who know me, which is hilarious, right, because the whole reason there was a controversy over George Santos is that he wouldn't tell us who he was. At some point, some enterprising journalists counted seven different names that Santos has used over the years for Pushkin Prize consideration. We need that kind of remorselessness. Let me give you what I think is a relevant counter example. It concerns Temple University's online Business School. The story goes the dean of the b school there, a man named Mosha Pora, was upset about his school's low US News ranking, so he sends several of his underlings to Washington, d C. To complain to the US News rankings team, and in the course of that meeting, US News let slip that they don't actually check any of the data that schools send them. So the underlings report this back to Mosha, and Mosha's like, great, I guess there's no state troopers on this stretch of the university prestige Highway. So he hires a data scientist. They figure out that what really matters for online business schools is what percentage of the school's incoming class has taken the GMAT. In Temple's case, it's something like nineteen percent. So Mosha changes that number to one hundred percent, and Wall Temple's online business school faults to number one in the US News Online b School rankings. Now you hear that story and you say to yourself, why wasn't Mosha up for a pushkin price? And believe me, we thought long and hard about his nomination. I mean, Mosha was convicted of fraud and sentenced to fourteen months. He committed a crime.

People who know me, which is hilarious, right, because the whole reason there was a controversy over George Santos is that he wouldn't tell us who he was. At some point, some enterprising journalists counted seven different names that Santos has used over the years for Pushkin Prize consideration. We need that kind of remorselessness. Let me give you what I think is a relevant counter example. It concerns Temple University's online Business School. The story goes the dean of the b school there, a man named Mosha Pora, was upset about his school's low US News ranking, so he sends several of his underlings to Washington, d C. To complain to the US News rankings team, and in the course of that meeting, US News let slip that they don't actually check any of the data that schools send them. So the underlings report this back to Mosha, and Mosha's like, great, I guess there's no state troopers on this stretch of the university prestige Highway. So he hires a data scientist. They figure out that what really matters for online business schools is what percentage of the school's incoming class has taken the GMAT. In Temple's case, it's something like nineteen percent. So Mosha changes that number to one hundred percent, and Wall Temple's online business school faults to number one in the US News Online b School rankings. Now you hear that story and you say to yourself, why wasn't Mosha up for a pushkin price? And believe me, we thought long and hard about his nomination. I mean, Mosha was convicted of fraud and sentenced to fourteen months. He committed a crime.

The charges against Parat were not just simply that he defrauded US News Rankings, but that he defrauded applicants to the school, students at the school, and donors, all of whom look at the rankings and making their decision about where to direct their money.

The charges against Parat were not just simply that he defrauded US News Rankings, but that he defrauded applicants to the school, students at the school, and donors, all of whom look at the rankings and making their decision about where to direct their money.

That's Jennifer Williams, who was in the US Attorney's office in Philadelphia at the time of the Temple case.

That's Jennifer Williams, who was in the US Attorney's office in Philadelphia at the time of the Temple case.

And in fact, the scheme, as charged in the indictment, was very successful. Not only did the rankings improve dramatically, but the enrollment went way up and the total amount of tuition that Temple was able to get due to the increased enrollment was almost forty million dollars over the course of several years. So that is the goal of the fraud. That's what made this a crime.

And in fact, the scheme, as charged in the indictment, was very successful. Not only did the rankings improve dramatically, but the enrollment went way up and the total amount of tuition that Temple was able to get due to the increased enrollment was almost forty million dollars over the course of several years. So that is the goal of the fraud. That's what made this a crime.

So why doesn't Temple get the Sentos Award Because, and this is crucial, the school has too much remorse When word leaks out about Moshes shedanigans. The school hires a big name outside law firm, Jones Day to investigate. The university pays out millions of dollars in damages to the students who enrolled thinking they were getting a degree from the number one rank school in the country. It was Temple who turned in Mosha to the authorities. This is not how Columbia behaved at all. Thaddius releases his report on February twenty eighth, twenty twenty two, and Columbia responds with a press release from the school's provost on June thirtieth, months later. I'm quoting. Columbia has long conducted what we believe to be a thorough process for gathering and reporting institutional data, but we are now closely reviewing our processes in light of the questions raised. The ongoing review is a matter of integrity. We will take no shortcuts in getting it right. Temple Hired, one of the world's biggest law firms. Colombia launched a review.

So why doesn't Temple get the Sentos Award Because, and this is crucial, the school has too much remorse When word leaks out about Moshes shedanigans. The school hires a big name outside law firm, Jones Day to investigate. The university pays out millions of dollars in damages to the students who enrolled thinking they were getting a degree from the number one rank school in the country. It was Temple who turned in Mosha to the authorities. This is not how Columbia behaved at all. Thaddius releases his report on February twenty eighth, twenty twenty two, and Columbia responds with a press release from the school's provost on June thirtieth, months later. I'm quoting. Columbia has long conducted what we believe to be a thorough process for gathering and reporting institutional data, but we are now closely reviewing our processes in light of the questions raised. The ongoing review is a matter of integrity. We will take no shortcuts in getting it right. Temple Hired, one of the world's biggest law firms. Colombia launched a review.

The approach has been just to say as little as possible, try to attract as little attention, and wait for the storm to blow over.

The approach has been just to say as little as possible, try to attract as little attention, and wait for the storm to blow over.

You're saying that no member of the administration has reached out to you since you published that article.

You're saying that no member of the administration has reached out to you since you published that article.

Good God.

Good God.

No, wait, that's nuts.

No, wait, that's nuts.

That's nuts. I'm glad you think so. I asked the question at a faculty meeting. Did the review that Columbia conducted explore the question of intent about whether you know these falsehoods were provided intentionally? Did anyone know that they were false? And if so, who and the answer was, well, no, our review did not look into that question. So it's clear to me that the review was not seriously intended to get to the bottom of the matter.

That's nuts. I'm glad you think so. I asked the question at a faculty meeting. Did the review that Columbia conducted explore the question of intent about whether you know these falsehoods were provided intentionally? Did anyone know that they were false? And if so, who and the answer was, well, no, our review did not look into that question. So it's clear to me that the review was not seriously intended to get to the bottom of the matter.

Well's not a review because the Santos criteria are so rigorous. I realized I needed to take further steps to see if Columbia's remorselessness remained in place. First, I waited to see whether they would update the June thirtieth press release. I waited, waited six months past, so then I decided I needed to contact them directly. I sent an email, asked for an interview with the provost. Waited, waited, waited, until finally someone in the media relations department emailed me back with a link to the press release of June thirtieth. We are not commenting beyond the statements issued, I was told. So I respond because I don't want some blogger down the line saying I rush to judgment on the remorselessness criteria. Are you sure? I write back. I talk about Michael Thaddeus, I tell him about Lauren and her computer model. I tell him about Jennifer Williams talking about the Temple case. Are you sure for the university not to comment under these circumstances, will, from your perspective, be problematic. Don't you think A week passes, I get an email back, We're working on it. A month passes. Finally get another email, essentially restating the original press release. I print at the statement and run around the office holding it high.

Well's not a review because the Santos criteria are so rigorous. I realized I needed to take further steps to see if Columbia's remorselessness remained in place. First, I waited to see whether they would update the June thirtieth press release. I waited, waited six months past, so then I decided I needed to contact them directly. I sent an email, asked for an interview with the provost. Waited, waited, waited, until finally someone in the media relations department emailed me back with a link to the press release of June thirtieth. We are not commenting beyond the statements issued, I was told. So I respond because I don't want some blogger down the line saying I rush to judgment on the remorselessness criteria. Are you sure? I write back. I talk about Michael Thaddeus, I tell him about Lauren and her computer model. I tell him about Jennifer Williams talking about the Temple case. Are you sure for the university not to comment under these circumstances, will, from your perspective, be problematic. Don't you think A week passes, I get an email back, We're working on it. A month passes. Finally get another email, essentially restating the original press release. I print at the statement and run around the office holding it high.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

We have met the formal standard for remorselessness. One last part of me. You have to be reckless to win a Pushkin prize. Your lines have to put you in potential jeopardy if you want to win one of our coveted gold statuettes. We have gratuitousness, we have remorselessness, But do we have recklessness? We do? And to say how, I need to be serious for a second. I actually love Columbia. I think it's an extraordinary place full of extraordinary people. I can't tell you how many times I've sat in the office of some professor at Columbia and had the world opened up for me. I love Columbia, even though I know Columbia will never be Princeton or Harvard. They're never going to have fifty billion dollars in the bank, and without fifty billion dollars in the bank. It's awfully hard to climb to the top of the US News rankings. But the President of Columbia ought to be able to stand up and say, we are the pre eminent institution of learning in the greatest city in the world, and if we have lots of part time faculty, it's because we are drawing on the resources of amazing people who spend their working days on Broadway or Madison Avenue or Wall Street. And if our classes are large, it just means that every student has the privilege of rubbing shoulders with lots of other curious and willing students. And by the way, if you are someone who believes at the best measure of a university's intellectual vitality is how much money it has in the bank, or what percentage of its faculty have PhDs, or how many students are in its classes, then Columbia is probably going to be wasted on you. The President of Columbia ought to be able to stand up and explain to the world what Columbia is and what it stands for. But he didn't do that, and his school got consumed with succeeding at a rankings game that is morally and intellectually bankrupt some jackass in the Columbia administration. And I have no idea who it was, but I hope they are found out and made to do a thousand hours of community service teaching arithmetic to some first grader. That jackass decided to cook the books. And now what do we have a school that has broken the most fundamental of promises to its own community. Let me quote to you from the Columbia University Code of Conduct, the Ethical Standard. Columbia holds its own students to falsification, forgery, or misrepresentation of information to any university official in order to gain an unfair academic advantage in coursework or lab work on any application, petition, or documents submitted to the university is prohibited. This includes, but is not limited to, falsifying information on a resume, fabrication of credentials or academic records, misrepresenting one's own research, and providing false or misleading information. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the winner of the Pushkin Prize for gratuitous, remorseless, and recklessly deceptive self promotion. This episode of Revisionist History was produced by Kiara Powell with Leemingestu ben ATAF. Haffrey and Jacob Smith. Original scoring by Luis Garra, fact checking by Kishelle Williams and Tolly Emlin. Our showrunner is Peter Clowney, mastering by Flawn Williams, engineering by Nina Lawrence, and special things to Columbia's own Michael Thaddius, who not only did the research that inspired this episode, but also made a joke when I was talking to him that inspired name of our first ever Santos Memorial Prize. There's a PostScript to this story. On June sixth, two days before this episode aired, Columbia University made an announcement they were dropping out of the US News Undergraduate rankings, becoming the first IVY League school to abandon the US News methodology that did so much to make the IVY League the IVY League. The press release, like so many of the press releases issued by Columbia over the course of this controversy, read like it was dictated by a room of ten thousand dollars an hour attorneys on a zoom call from mid taw Manhattan. In a statement, Columbia said that in response to the allegations of cheating, it had quote conducted an exhaustive internal review and where errors were confirmed, shoot public corrections and made changes to the collection methodologies that led to the inaccuracies. I got an email from Michael Thaddeus almost immediately. This is completely untrue, he wrote. Columbia has never corrected the false information it provided, probably over many years, to US News about class sizes or about proportion of full time faculty. For example. What it did was admit in a general way to quote outdated, end or incorrect methodologies and acknowledged that quote class sized data was previously reported incorrectly unquote. But it never corrected the false figures, nor has it even specified which figures were false or for how long end of quote. Oh and by the way, the school's provost, whose office is responsible for its submissions to US News, suddenly announced that she was resigning after an unusually short term in office. We may have to do a follow up, don't you think If you're listening to Revision's history on pushkin plus, you already know the pleasure of hearing our shows early and without ads. If you're not part of pushkin plus, my friends, you're missing out. Our season's really heating up. You will not regret This, get our new episodes two weeks early, and listen to every episode of This your favorite show, ad free

We have met the formal standard for remorselessness. One last part of me. You have to be reckless to win a Pushkin prize. Your lines have to put you in potential jeopardy if you want to win one of our coveted gold statuettes. We have gratuitousness, we have remorselessness, But do we have recklessness? We do? And to say how, I need to be serious for a second. I actually love Columbia. I think it's an extraordinary place full of extraordinary people. I can't tell you how many times I've sat in the office of some professor at Columbia and had the world opened up for me. I love Columbia, even though I know Columbia will never be Princeton or Harvard. They're never going to have fifty billion dollars in the bank, and without fifty billion dollars in the bank. It's awfully hard to climb to the top of the US News rankings. But the President of Columbia ought to be able to stand up and say, we are the pre eminent institution of learning in the greatest city in the world, and if we have lots of part time faculty, it's because we are drawing on the resources of amazing people who spend their working days on Broadway or Madison Avenue or Wall Street. And if our classes are large, it just means that every student has the privilege of rubbing shoulders with lots of other curious and willing students. And by the way, if you are someone who believes at the best measure of a university's intellectual vitality is how much money it has in the bank, or what percentage of its faculty have PhDs, or how many students are in its classes, then Columbia is probably going to be wasted on you. The President of Columbia ought to be able to stand up and explain to the world what Columbia is and what it stands for. But he didn't do that, and his school got consumed with succeeding at a rankings game that is morally and intellectually bankrupt some jackass in the Columbia administration. And I have no idea who it was, but I hope they are found out and made to do a thousand hours of community service teaching arithmetic to some first grader. That jackass decided to cook the books. And now what do we have a school that has broken the most fundamental of promises to its own community. Let me quote to you from the Columbia University Code of Conduct, the Ethical Standard. Columbia holds its own students to falsification, forgery, or misrepresentation of information to any university official in order to gain an unfair academic advantage in coursework or lab work on any application, petition, or documents submitted to the university is prohibited. This includes, but is not limited to, falsifying information on a resume, fabrication of credentials or academic records, misrepresenting one's own research, and providing false or misleading information. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the winner of the Pushkin Prize for gratuitous, remorseless, and recklessly deceptive self promotion. This episode of Revisionist History was produced by Kiara Powell with Leemingestu ben ATAF. Haffrey and Jacob Smith. Original scoring by Luis Garra, fact checking by Kishelle Williams and Tolly Emlin. Our showrunner is Peter Clowney, mastering by Flawn Williams, engineering by Nina Lawrence, and special things to Columbia's own Michael Thaddius, who not only did the research that inspired this episode, but also made a joke when I was talking to him that inspired name of our first ever Santos Memorial Prize. There's a PostScript to this story. On June sixth, two days before this episode aired, Columbia University made an announcement they were dropping out of the US News Undergraduate rankings, becoming the first IVY League school to abandon the US News methodology that did so much to make the IVY League the IVY League. The press release, like so many of the press releases issued by Columbia over the course of this controversy, read like it was dictated by a room of ten thousand dollars an hour attorneys on a zoom call from mid taw Manhattan. In a statement, Columbia said that in response to the allegations of cheating, it had quote conducted an exhaustive internal review and where errors were confirmed, shoot public corrections and made changes to the collection methodologies that led to the inaccuracies. I got an email from Michael Thaddeus almost immediately. This is completely untrue, he wrote. Columbia has never corrected the false information it provided, probably over many years, to US News about class sizes or about proportion of full time faculty. For example. What it did was admit in a general way to quote outdated, end or incorrect methodologies and acknowledged that quote class sized data was previously reported incorrectly unquote. But it never corrected the false figures, nor has it even specified which figures were false or for how long end of quote. Oh and by the way, the school's provost, whose office is responsible for its submissions to US News, suddenly announced that she was resigning after an unusually short term in office. We may have to do a follow up, don't you think If you're listening to Revision's history on pushkin plus, you already know the pleasure of hearing our shows early and without ads. If you're not part of pushkin plus, my friends, you're missing out. Our season's really heating up. You will not regret This, get our new episodes two weeks early, and listen to every episode of This your favorite show, ad free