Have you ever tried to explain how you feel, only to walk away feeling even more misunderstood? In marriage, this can be very frustrating. A simple conversation turns into defensiveness, confusion, or conflict. In this episode, I’m sharing practical ways to communicate what you’re really feeling so your partner has a better chance of hearing your heart.

I’ll walk you through how to express yourself with more clarity, stay grounded during difficult conversations, and avoid some of the common communication habits that create unnecessary tension. If you’re tired of conversations going sideways and want to feel more heard, understood, and connected in your relationship, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:


How to express your feelings without putting your partner on the defensive


Why clarity matters when communicating what you need
A funny story of how this works with Shaun and me in real time


Common mistakes that cause your message to get misunderstood


How to stay grounded when emotions are running high


Ways to create more connection during difficult conversations

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Get your FREE Heart to Heart Conversation Starters here. 

Start my From Conflict to Connection course today and be on track to better communication immediately!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Have you ever tried to explain how you feel, only to walk away feeling even more misunderstood? In marriage, this can be very frustrating. A simple conversation turns into defensiveness, confusion, or conflict. In this episode, I&rsquo;m sharing practical ways to communicate what you&rsquo;re really feeling so your partner has a better chance of hearing your heart.
I&rsquo;ll walk you through how to express yourself with more clarity, stay grounded during difficult conversations, and avoid some of the common communication habits that create unnecessary tension. If you&rsquo;re tired of conversations going sideways and want to feel more heard, understood, and connected in your relationship, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
How to express your feelings without putting your partner on the defensive
</li>
<li>
Why clarity matters when communicating what you need
</li>
<li>A funny story of how this works with Shaun and me in real time</li>
<li>
Common mistakes that cause your message to get misunderstood
</li>
<li>
How to stay grounded when emotions are running high
</li>
<li>
Ways to create more connection during difficult conversations
</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Get your <a href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters">FREE Heart to Heart Conversation Starters here</a>.&nbsp;
<a href="https://danache.com/connectioncourse">Start my From Conflict to Connection course today </a>and be on track to better communication immediately!
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

Get Dana's latest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
Get Dana's latest book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>,&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren’t built by avoiding hard seasons—they’re built by learning how to move through them well.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

And be sure to get Dana's new book  Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren&rsquo;t built by avoiding hard seasons&mdash;they&rsquo;re built by learning how to move through them well.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
And be sure to get Dana's new book &nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Have you ever tried to explain how you feel, only to walk away feeling even more misunderstood? In marriage, this can be very frustrating.

Why Your Feelings Keep Getting Misunderstood

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/6ff6d0aa-e62c-418e-b148-b4c60017bc0d/transcript

There are losses we know how to respond to and some we don't. In this episode, Nicole Langman talks about carrying a story she never wanted. She imagined a white picket fence, Prince Charming, children, and smooth sailing. Instead, her husband walked away from the marriage, leaving her blindsided by infidelity, rejection, and abandonment.

When someone dies, comforting casseroles arrive. People send cards. Churches organize meal trains. We understand that grief deserves attention. But what happens when the loss is a marriage, a relationship, a diagnosis, a family connection, or the future you expected to have?

Grief doesn’t only follow death. Sometimes it follows divorce, rejection, infertility, estrangement, or a dream that falls apart.

Nicole describes the experience as being “kicked out of my favorite club, the wife club.". Her identity, her plans, and her sense of belonging were suddenly under attack.

And the silence around it made the grief heavier.

“What we want is to be seen.”

Nicole explains why “doing nothing is the worst thing that we can do” when someone is grieving, and how simple acts of presence can help a hurting person feel seen. We also discuss lament, soul knowledge, forgiveness, identity, healing, and the difference between reconciliation and forgiveness. Nicole’s story of finding her identity in God’s love, creating beauty from brokenness, and eventually marrying her first love is a powerful reminder that a painful chapter doesn’t mean the story is over.

Key takeaways:


The difference between head knowledge and soul knowledge


How lament can become part of healing


Rebuilding identity after rejection and abandonment


Why forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same


The Japanese art of kintsugi and how God repurposes brokenness


Her unexpected redemption story 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

📖 Find Nicole’s book, This Isn’t the Story I Wanted, along with her devotional and resources at nicolelangman.com

🗣️ Get your FREE Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters When in Conflict at danache.com/conversationstarters. 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

There are losses we know how to respond to and some we don't.&nbsp;In this episode, Nicole Langman talks about carrying a story she never wanted. She imagined a white picket fence, Prince Charming, children, and smooth sailing. Instead, her husband walked away from the marriage, leaving her blindsided by infidelity, rejection, and abandonment.
When someone dies, comforting casseroles arrive. People send cards. Churches organize meal trains. We understand that grief deserves attention. But what happens when the loss is a marriage, a relationship, a diagnosis, a family connection, or the future you expected to have?
Grief doesn&rsquo;t only follow death. Sometimes it follows divorce, rejection, infertility, estrangement, or a dream that falls apart.
Nicole describes the experience as being &ldquo;kicked out of my favorite club, the wife club.". Her identity, her plans, and her sense of belonging were suddenly under attack.
And the silence around it made the grief heavier.
<blockquote>
&ldquo;What we want is to be seen.&rdquo;
</blockquote>
Nicole explains why &ldquo;doing nothing is the worst thing that we can do&rdquo; when someone is grieving, and how simple acts of presence can help a hurting person feel seen. We also discuss lament, soul knowledge, forgiveness, identity, healing, and the difference between reconciliation and forgiveness. Nicole&rsquo;s story of finding her identity in God&rsquo;s love, creating beauty from brokenness, and eventually marrying her first love is a powerful reminder that a painful chapter doesn&rsquo;t mean the story is over.
Key takeaways:
<ul data-pm-slice="3 3 []">
<li>
The difference between head knowledge and soul knowledge
</li>
<li>
How lament can become part of healing
</li>
<li>
Rebuilding identity after rejection and abandonment
</li>
<li>
Why forgiveness and reconciliation aren&rsquo;t the same
</li>
<li>
The Japanese art of kintsugi and how God repurposes brokenness
</li>
<li>
Her unexpected redemption story&nbsp;
</li>
</ul>
Resources mentioned in this episode:
📖 Find Nicole&rsquo;s book, This Isn&rsquo;t the Story I Wanted, along with her devotional and resources at <a href="https://nicolelangman.com/">nicolelangman.com</a>
🗣️ Get your FREE Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters When in Conflict at <a href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters">danache.com/conversationstarters.</a>&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

There are losses we know how to respond to and some we don't. In this episode, Nicole Langman talks about carrying a story she never wanted. 

When Your Happily Ever After Falls Apart: Finding Hope In The Story You Never Wanted

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/2ba16f45-e821-4b07-825d-b4cc01697424/transcript

I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership. I explain why healthy leadership invites collaboration, tolerates disagreement, and never uses Scripture, submission, or God to control a spouse.

I also talk about spiritual manipulation, maintaining personal discernment, forgiveness versus reconciliation, and why forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Finally, I share practical steps for responding to abuse, including telling the truth to someone trustworthy, stopping the minimization of harmful patterns, documenting what is happening, prioritizing safety, and seeking qualified support before attempting to rebuild the marriage.

Key Takeaways:


Healthy leadership invites collaboration. “Let’s pray about this” creates room for discernment and discussion. “I’m in charge, so this is what we’re doing” demands control.


Biblical submission does not require surrendering discernment. A wife remains morally responsible, spiritually discerning, and able to recognize when something is wrong. Submission to God comes before submission to another person. 


Forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Reconciliation requires safety and repentance. A person can forgive while setting boundaries, filing a police report, or seeking a restraining order.


A marriage should not be preserved at the expense of someone’s safety. When abuse is active, the first steps are safety, clear boundaries, trustworthy support, documentation, and qualified help, not immediate marriage counseling.

Remember, healthy spiritual leadership lays down personal preferences and agendas for the good of the people being led. It does not require someone else to disappear or become small.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Healing after betrayal is possible, but it requires intentional work. Learn more about the step-by-step course created to help couples process pain, rebuild trust, and reconnect at danache.com/infidelityintensive

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership. I explain why healthy leadership invites collaboration, tolerates disagreement, and never uses Scripture, submission, or God to control a spouse.
I also talk about spiritual manipulation, maintaining personal discernment, forgiveness versus reconciliation, and why forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Finally, I share practical steps for responding to abuse, including telling the truth to someone trustworthy, stopping the minimization of harmful patterns, documenting what is happening, prioritizing safety, and seeking qualified support before attempting to rebuild the marriage.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
Healthy leadership invites collaboration. &ldquo;Let&rsquo;s pray about this&rdquo; creates room for discernment and discussion. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m in charge, so this is what we&rsquo;re doing&rdquo; demands control.
</li>
<li>
Biblical submission does not require surrendering discernment. A wife remains morally responsible, spiritually discerning, and able to recognize when something is wrong. Submission to God comes before submission to another person.&nbsp;
</li>
<li>
Forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Reconciliation requires safety and repentance. A person can forgive while setting boundaries, filing a police report, or seeking a restraining order.
</li>
<li>
A marriage should not be preserved at the expense of someone&rsquo;s safety. When abuse is active, the first steps are safety, clear boundaries, trustworthy support, documentation, and qualified help, not immediate marriage counseling.
</li>
</ul>
Remember, healthy spiritual leadership lays down personal preferences and agendas for the good of the people being led. It does not require someone else to disappear or become small.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Healing after betrayal is possible, but it requires intentional work. Learn more about the step-by-step course created to help couples process pain, rebuild trust, and reconnect at <a href="https://danache.com/infidelityintensive">danache.com/infidelityintensive</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership.

Spiritual Leadership or Spiritual Abuse in Marriage? 6 Signs to Know the Difference

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/66c6a841-03a1-44eb-90d1-b4bf002317fe/transcript

My hubby, Shaun, joins me in this special episode to discuss the Netflix docuseries Death of the Pastor’s Wife and the difficult questions it raises about abuse of power, spiritual manipulation, accountability, submission, and marriage.

This conversation goes beyond the story itself. Shaun and I explore how churches can create healthier accountability structures, why power differentials matter, what you should do when you recognize abuse, and what partnership in marriage can look like without control or coercion.

If you’re married, serving in leadership, part of a church community, or reexamining your own faith and relationships, this episode offers an honest conversation about discernment, responsibility, and healing.

Key Takeaways:


Why every church leader needs accountability


How spiritual manipulation can distort Scripture


The difference between biblical submission and control


Why victims shouldn’t be blamed for someone else’s abuse of power


How Shaun and I approach marriage as a partnership


Why church members have a responsibility to speak up when something feels wrong


A prayer for marriages, church leaders, victims of abuse, and Mica Miller's family

If you're being abused by a spouse or partner, seek legal and professional help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233). 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

My hubby, Shaun, joins me in this special episode to discuss the Netflix docuseries&nbsp;Death of the Pastor&rsquo;s Wife and the difficult questions it raises about abuse of power, spiritual manipulation, accountability, submission, and marriage.
This conversation goes beyond the story itself. Shaun and I explore how churches can create healthier accountability structures, why power differentials matter, what you should do when you recognize abuse, and what partnership in marriage can look like without control or coercion.
If you&rsquo;re married, serving in leadership, part of a church community, or reexamining your own faith and relationships, this episode offers an honest conversation about discernment, responsibility, and healing.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
Why every church leader needs accountability
</li>
<li>
How spiritual manipulation can distort Scripture
</li>
<li>
The difference between biblical submission and control
</li>
<li>
Why victims shouldn&rsquo;t be blamed for someone else&rsquo;s abuse of power
</li>
<li>
How Shaun and I approach marriage as a partnership
</li>
<li>
Why church members have a responsibility to speak up when something feels wrong
</li>
<li>
A prayer for marriages, church leaders, victims of abuse, and Mica Miller's family
</li>
</ul>
If you're being abused by a spouse or partner, seek legal and professional help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

My hubby, Shaun, joins me in this special episode to discuss the Netflix docuseries Death of the Pastor’s Wife and the difficult questions it raises about abuse of power, spiritual manipulation, accountability, submission, and marriage.

Death of the Pastor's Wife: Spiritual & Marital Abuse and Where We Go From Here

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/17537325-0c62-4e6a-9daf-b4bb0039cb8c/transcript

Why Your Feelings Keep Getting Misunderstood

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

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Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

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