Why Should I Get Premarital Coaching? (Young & Married Series)




A few years ago, I ran into an old friend who was recently engaged and about to get married. I immediately asked her who was doing her premarital counseling, and she just gave me a blank stare. Then she slowly said, “We aren’t getting premarital counseling, because we don’t want to open up a can of worms.” To my surprise and utter bewilderment, I responded, “Honey, you can either open the can of worms in premarital coaching or the can of worms will burst open during your marriage.”



Too often, couples have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to marriage and, instead of diligently doing the work of marriage, they choose to spend all their energies on the wedding and the festivities that surround that one day. I think this is a huge mistake. We’d never buy a car without first doing our research and checking its history. Nor would we invest in a home or even daycare for that matter without finding out all we can about the home or organization.

How much more diligent should we be about our marriage?


Reasons Couples Choose Not to do Premarital Counseling




Some couples think “love conquers all,” and that as long as they love each other, they’ll be fine. But all it takes is a brief look at the millions of couples who divorce each year who really loved (and often still love) each other. Love is wonderful. It’s necessary. But it’s not enough. Marriage takes commitment, time, trust, selflessness, and a lot more in order to work.



Other couples have this notion that their problems “won’t be that bad,” and that as long as they believe for the best, they can overcome any problem they’ll face. While I applaud the obvious optimism here, I must say that the best defense is a good offense. You don’t learn to play the game of marriage once you’re married. You prepare for a great marriage before you get married. 



Thirdly, some couples have bought into the notion of “you complete me.” That makes for a good movie line, but not so great for a life principle. Marriage isn’t about completing you. It’s about discipling you, to be honest. We’ve heard it said that “most people don’t plan to fail; they fail to plan.” True that.


What to Expect in Premarital Coaching




A good premarital coach is one who can see the big picture and help couples attack the warning signs in their relationship. In premarital counseling (coaching), couples will be asked probing questions, discuss their families of origin, talk about emotional triggers, and current problems the relationship is having.



Premarital coaching prepares couples to attack (not ignore) their issues. Pastors can provide a wealth of wisdom when it comes to the spiritual ramifications of marriage. However, not all pastors are good counselors. Marriage coaches, on the other hand, are specifically trained in all matters of healthy relationships. But not all marriage coaches will help you to understand the spiritual implications of the marriage covenant. Both are needed, and if you have a pastor and marriage coach, all the better!



This is one episode you need to share with anyone you know who is engaged to be married or about to become engaged.



Links Mentioned in this Episode


Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class


Episode 55: How to Get Out of An Argument








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To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

Why Should I Get Premarital Coaching? (Young & Married Series)
 
A few years ago, I ran into an old friend who was recently engaged and about to get married. I immediately asked her who was doing her premarital counseling, and she just gave me a blank stare. Then she slowly said, “We aren’t getting premarital counseling, because we don’t want to open up a can of worms.” To my surprise and utter bewilderment, I responded, “Honey, you can either open the can of worms in premarital coaching or the can of worms will burst open during your marriage.”
 
Too often, couples have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to marriage and, instead of diligently doing the work of marriage, they choose to spend all their energies on the wedding and the festivities that surround that one day. I think this is a huge mistake. We’d never buy a car without first doing our research and checking its history. Nor would we invest in a home or even daycare for that matter without finding out all we can about the home or organization.
How much more diligent should we be about our marriage?
 
Reasons Couples Choose Not to do Premarital Counseling
 
Some couples think “love conquers all,” and that as long as they love each other, they’ll be fine. But all it takes is a brief look at the millions of couples who divorce each year who really loved (and often still love) each other. Love is wonderful. It’s necessary. But it’s not enough. Marriage takes commitment, time, trust, selflessness, and a lot more in order to work.
 
Other couples have this notion that their problems “won’t be that bad,” and that as long as they believe for the best, they can overcome any problem they’ll face. While I applaud the obvious optimism here, I must say that the best defense is a good offense. You don’t learn to play the game of marriage once you’re married. You prepare for a great marriage before you get married. 
 
Thirdly, some couples have bought into the notion of “you complete me.” That makes for a good movie line, but not so great for a life principle. Marriage isn’t about completing you. It’s about discipling you, to be honest. We’ve heard it said that “most people don’t plan to fail; they fail to plan.” True that.
 
What to Expect in Premarital Coaching
 
A good premarital coach is one who can see the big picture and help couples attack the warning signs in their relationship. In premarital counseling (coaching), couples will be asked probing questions, discuss their families of origin, talk about emotional triggers, and current problems the relationship is having.
 
Premarital coaching prepares couples to attack (not ignore) their issues. Pastors can provide a wealth of wisdom when it comes to the spiritual ramifications of marriage. However, not all pastors are good counselors. Marriage coaches, on the other hand, are specifically trained in all matters of healthy relationships. But not all marriage coaches will help you to understand the spiritual implications of the marriage covenant. Both are needed, and if you have a pastor and marriage coach, all the better!
 
This is one episode you need to share with anyone you know who is engaged to be married or about to become engaged.
 
Links Mentioned in this Episode 
 

<ul><li><a href='http://danache.com/wifelife'>Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class</a></li>
</ul>
 
<ul><li><a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/55-how-to-get-over-an-argument-quickly-young-married-series/'>Episode 55: How to Get Out of An Argument</a> 
</li>
</ul>
 
 
 
SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT
To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-relationship-talk/id1528234628'>Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href='https://podcasts.google.com/search/real%20relationship%20talk'>Google Play</a>, <a href='https://open.spotify.com/show/3c4eI4A4bDw7rrHCZbiEzb'>Spotify</a>, <a href='https://www.stitcher.com/show/real-relationship-talk'>Stitcher</a>, <a href='https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-real-relationship-talk-70625882/'>iHeart Radio</a>, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

Welcome to "Rebuilding Us,” a marriage podcast helping to restore intimacy and renew hope in your relationship. Join marriage coach Dana Che on an episodic adventure and explore the transformative journey of rebuilding trust, commitment, and connection by reigniting love through faith-based principles.

Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."

Let the rebuild begin!

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

Welcome to "Rebuilding Us,” a marriage podcast helping to restore intimacy and renew hope in your relationship. Join marriage coach Dana Che on an episodic adventure and explore the transformative journey of rebuilding trust, commitment, and connection by reigniting love through faith-based principles.
Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."
Let the rebuild begin!
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A podcast for married people to build and rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection in your relationship. Heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean relevant, effective relationship advice and tools from marriage coach Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures explore the transformative journey of what it takes to have a happy and healthy marriage, reigniting love through faith-based principles. 

Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."

Let the rebuild begin!

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

A podcast for married people to build and rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection in your relationship. Heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean relevant, effective relationship advice and tools from marriage coach Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures explore the transformative journey of what it takes to have a happy and healthy marriage, reigniting love through faith-based principles. 
Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."
Let the rebuild begin!
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

Why Should I Get Premarital Coaching? (Young & Married Series)
 
A few years ago, I ran into an old friend who was recently engaged and about to get married. I immediately asked her who was doing her premarital counseling, and she just gave me a blan...

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