What is Maintenance Sex and Should You Be Having It?


When I first heard the term “maintenance sex,” I was like I have got to see what this is all about! What I learned is that it’s not unlike the regular, scheduled maintenance that we do for our cars. Think about it like regular sex checkups for your marriage. Sadly, many married couples pay more attention to their cars while neglecting their sexual intimacy. This ain’t cool, my friends. Just like a car will break down without proper maintenance, so will your marriage.

“But what if I just am not in the mood for sex?” You might ask. We covered this topic at length on the last podcast episode. I mentioned it then, and I’ll mention it now . . . love seeks the betterment of the other, not yourself. A healthy marriage doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself; it means you don’t only love yourself.
Scheduling Sex


A good way to keep your sexual intimacy on track might be by scheduling sex. I just lost some of you right there, huh? Don’t knock it until you try it! There are lots of couples who have found that this works for their marriage. As a matter of fact, Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, who were guests on a previous episode: 6 Ways to Build One Extraordinary Marriage are big proponents of scheduling sex. Personally, I see both pros and cons. One thing is for certain: that level of intentionality is wise. Too many couples think having a great sex life is just something that comes naturally. But honey, you’ve got to work at this!
What Husbands Think About Maintenance Sex


They love it! Enough said! Seriously though, most men do not need a lot of emotional “warm-up” to engage sexually. Like a car, they’re ready to go as soon as they get turned on. Women, on the other hand, often don’t believe that maintenance sex is romantic, so they tend not to do it. I would encourage every wife to ask your husband what he feels about having sex to simply keep the connection going in the marriage. I can almost guarantee you he’ll be on board!


Resources:


Listen to Spontaneous vs Scheduled Sex: One Extraordinary Marriage

Register for the Making Love Outside the Bedroom Workshop by Dana Che

Get more info on marriage or relationship coaching with Dana Che

What is Maintenance Sex and Should You Be Having It?
When I first heard the term “maintenance sex,” I was like I have got to see what this is all about! What I learned is that it’s not unlike the regular, scheduled maintenance that we do for our cars. Think about it like regular sex checkups for your marriage. Sadly, many married couples pay more attention to their cars while neglecting their sexual intimacy. This ain’t cool, my friends. Just like a car will break down without proper maintenance, so will your marriage.
“But what if I just am not in the mood for sex?” You might ask. We covered this topic at length on the last podcast episode. I mentioned it then, and I’ll mention it now . . . love seeks the betterment of the other, not yourself. A healthy marriage doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself; it means you don’t only love yourself.
Scheduling Sex
A good way to keep your sexual intimacy on track might be by scheduling sex. I just lost some of you right there, huh? Don’t knock it until you try it! There are lots of couples who have found that this works for their marriage. As a matter of fact, Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, who were guests on a previous episode: <a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/6-ways-to-build-one-extraordinary-marriage-with-intentional-intimacy-less-talking-with-tony-and-alisa-dilorenzo-2/'>6 Ways to Build One Extraordinary Marriage</a> are big proponents of scheduling sex. Personally, I see both pros and cons. One thing is for certain: that level of intentionality is wise. Too many couples think having a great sex life is just something that comes naturally. But honey, you’ve got to work at this!
What Husbands Think About Maintenance Sex
They love it! Enough said! Seriously though, most men do not need a lot of emotional “warm-up” to engage sexually. Like a car, they’re ready to go as soon as they get turned on. Women, on the other hand, often don’t believe that maintenance sex is romantic, so they tend not to do it. I would encourage every wife to ask your husband what he feels about having sex to simply keep the connection going in the marriage. I can almost guarantee you he’ll be on board!
 
Resources:
Listen to <a href='https://oneextraordinarymarriage.com/556-spontaneous-vs-scheduled-sex/'>Spontaneous vs Scheduled Sex</a>: One Extraordinary Marriage
Register for the <a href='http://danache.com/workshops'>Making Love Outside the Bedroom Workshop</a> by Dana Che
Get more info on <a href='http://danache.com/coaching'>marriage or relationship coaching</a> with Dana Che

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

Get Dana's latest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
Get Dana's latest book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>,&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren’t built by avoiding hard seasons—they’re built by learning how to move through them well.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

And be sure to get Dana's new book  Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren&rsquo;t built by avoiding hard seasons&mdash;they&rsquo;re built by learning how to move through them well.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
And be sure to get Dana's new book &nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

What is Maintenance Sex and Should You Be Having It?
When I first heard the term “maintenance sex,” I was like I have got to see what this is all about! What I learned is that it’s not unlike the regular, scheduled maintenance that we do for our cars...