How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Like Your Spouse


Many couples go through a stage in their marriage or relationship where they don't like each other. You know you should love your spouse, but if you're honest, there are times when you don’t even like them. This episode speaks to that dilemma and will give you some practical steps to take to rekindle the likability in your relationship.

If we are ever going to grow into mature husbands and wives, we must first settle on the fact that love is not a feeling. Sure, you can "feel" loving feelings, but love is so much more than that. I learned this the hard way. Due to the marriage problems Shaun and I had for so long, I had started to become hopeless, thinking there was no way I could ever look at him lovingly again. I didn’t like him. I was often angry. I had been hurt too much.
The Most Dangerous Prayer


I remember back when we'd been married for around five years, I prayed a dangerous prayer: “Lord, teach me to love my husband like you do. Give me unconditional love.” I think that’s when the bottom fell out. I could not have imagined the trials we would encounter or the way God would take me up on my little prayer and teach me how to love . . . His way.

God’s love is radical. It’s illogical. And we are so undeserving of it. He shows us this crazy, radical love and then asks us to show it to our spouse. And yes, you can do this even if you don’t like your spouse. I John 4:19 tells us that, "We love because he first loved us." When you realize the Source of true love, it becomes easier to love. 

In order for God to teach you how to love unconditionally, he has to show you people in their full humanity. #TweetThat.
RECONNECTION IS THE KEY TO LOVING YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN


In order to learn to like your spouse again, you are going to have to be intentional to find ways to reconnect. So many marriages are in habitual disconnection, caught in the hustle and bustle of life or trapped by past mistakes and unforgiveness. For more on unforgiveness, check out Episode 13: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships. 

You can learn to like your spouse even if you don’t like him. A resource that might help you to do this is Keep Your Love On by author Danny Silk. Shaun and I took our marriage small group through this book over the course of a year, and it was super beneficial.

Don't turn your love off! You can learn to love AND like your spouse again. 

If you need more help walking through this, why not schedule a discovery call with me at http://danache.com/coaching. It might be the first intentional step toward a revived relationship for you!


Other Links Mentioned During this Episode:


Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage or Relationship

Episode 14: How these Hidden Fears Are Ruining Your Relationship



SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT

To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Like Your Spouse
Many couples go through a stage in their marriage or relationship where they don't like each other. You know you should love your spouse, but if you're honest, there are times when you don’t even like them. This episode speaks to that dilemma and will give you some practical steps to take to rekindle the likability in your relationship.
If we are ever going to grow into mature husbands and wives, we must first settle on the fact that love is not a feeling. Sure, you can "feel" loving feelings, but love is so much more than that. I learned this the hard way. Due to the marriage problems Shaun and I had for so long, I had started to become hopeless, thinking there was no way I could ever look at him lovingly again. I didn’t like him. I was often angry. I had been hurt too much.
The Most Dangerous Prayer
I remember back when we'd been married for around five years, I prayed a dangerous prayer: “Lord, teach me to love my husband like you do. Give me unconditional love.” I think that’s when the bottom fell out. I could not have imagined the trials we would encounter or the way God would take me up on my little prayer and teach me how to love . . . His way.
God’s love is radical. It’s illogical. And we are so undeserving of it. He shows us this crazy, radical love and then asks us to show it to our spouse. And yes, you can do this even if you don’t like your spouse. I John 4:19 tells us that, "We love because he first loved us." When you realize the Source of true love, it becomes easier to love. 
In order for God to teach you how to love unconditionally, he has to show you people in their full humanity. #TweetThat.
RECONNECTION IS THE KEY TO LOVING YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN
In order to learn to like your spouse again, you are going to have to be intentional to find ways to reconnect. So many marriages are in habitual disconnection, caught in the hustle and bustle of life or trapped by past mistakes and unforgiveness. For more on unforgiveness, check out <a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/the-power-of-forgiveness-in-relationships-release-them-restore-you-relationship-mistakes-series-2/'>Episode 13: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships</a>. 
You can learn to like your spouse even if you don’t like him. A resource that might help you to do this is <a href='https://amzn.to/383IVyn'>Keep Your Love On</a> by author Danny Silk. Shaun and I took our marriage small group through this book over the course of a year, and it was super beneficial.
Don't turn your love off! You can learn to love AND like your spouse again. 
If you need more help walking through this, why not schedule a discovery call with me at <a href='http://danache.com/coaching'>http://danache.com/coaching</a>. It might be the first intentional step toward a revived relationship for you!
 
Other Links Mentioned During this Episode:
<a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/how-to-stop-comparing-within-your-marriage-or-relationship-relationship-mistakes-series/'>Episode 12: How to Stop Comparing Within Your Marriage or Relationship</a>
<a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/how-these-hidden-fears-are-ruining-your-relationships-relationship-mistakes-series-2/'>Episode 14: How these Hidden Fears Are Ruining Your Relationship</a>
 
SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT
To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-relationship-talk/id1528234628'>Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href='https://podcasts.google.com/search/real%20relationship%20talk'>Google Play</a>, <a href='https://open.spotify.com/show/3c4eI4A4bDw7rrHCZbiEzb'>Spotify</a>, <a href='https://www.stitcher.com/show/real-relationship-talk'>Stitcher</a>, <a href='https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-real-relationship-talk-70625882/'>iHeart Radio</a>, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

Welcome to "Rebuilding Us,” a marriage podcast helping to restore intimacy and renew hope in your relationship. Join marriage coach Dana Che on an episodic adventure and explore the transformative journey of rebuilding trust, commitment, and connection by reigniting love through faith-based principles.

Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."

Let the rebuild begin!

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

Welcome to "Rebuilding Us,” a marriage podcast helping to restore intimacy and renew hope in your relationship. Join marriage coach Dana Che on an episodic adventure and explore the transformative journey of rebuilding trust, commitment, and connection by reigniting love through faith-based principles.
Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."
Let the rebuild begin!
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A podcast for married people to build and rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection in your relationship. Heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean relevant, effective relationship advice and tools from marriage coach Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures explore the transformative journey of what it takes to have a happy and healthy marriage, reigniting love through faith-based principles. 

Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."

Let the rebuild begin!

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

A podcast for married people to build and rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection in your relationship. Heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean relevant, effective relationship advice and tools from marriage coach Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures explore the transformative journey of what it takes to have a happy and healthy marriage, reigniting love through faith-based principles. 
Each episode offers effective relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring couples to cultivate lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their marriage. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking to enrich your relationship, 'Rebuilding Us' is here to support you on your journey to a thriving and resilient marriage grounded in grace and godly guidance."
Let the rebuild begin!
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Like Your Spouse
Many couples go through a stage in their marriage or relationship where they don't like each other. You know you should love your spouse, but if you're honest, there are times when you don’t eve...

Advertisement