I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership. I explain why healthy leadership invites collaboration, tolerates disagreement, and never uses Scripture, submission, or God to control a spouse.

I also talk about spiritual manipulation, maintaining personal discernment, forgiveness versus reconciliation, and why forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Finally, I share practical steps for responding to abuse, including telling the truth to someone trustworthy, stopping the minimization of harmful patterns, documenting what is happening, prioritizing safety, and seeking qualified support before attempting to rebuild the marriage.

Key Takeaways:


Healthy leadership invites collaboration. “Let’s pray about this” creates room for discernment and discussion. “I’m in charge, so this is what we’re doing” demands control.


Biblical submission does not require surrendering discernment. A wife remains morally responsible, spiritually discerning, and able to recognize when something is wrong. Submission to God comes before submission to another person. 


Forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Reconciliation requires safety and repentance. A person can forgive while setting boundaries, filing a police report, or seeking a restraining order.


A marriage should not be preserved at the expense of someone’s safety. When abuse is active, the first steps are safety, clear boundaries, trustworthy support, documentation, and qualified help, not immediate marriage counseling.

Remember, healthy spiritual leadership lays down personal preferences and agendas for the good of the people being led. It does not require someone else to disappear or become small.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Healing after betrayal is possible, but it requires intentional work. Learn more about the step-by-step course created to help couples process pain, rebuild trust, and reconnect at danache.com/infidelityintensive

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership. I explain why healthy leadership invites collaboration, tolerates disagreement, and never uses Scripture, submission, or God to control a spouse.
I also talk about spiritual manipulation, maintaining personal discernment, forgiveness versus reconciliation, and why forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Finally, I share practical steps for responding to abuse, including telling the truth to someone trustworthy, stopping the minimization of harmful patterns, documenting what is happening, prioritizing safety, and seeking qualified support before attempting to rebuild the marriage.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
Healthy leadership invites collaboration. &ldquo;Let&rsquo;s pray about this&rdquo; creates room for discernment and discussion. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m in charge, so this is what we&rsquo;re doing&rdquo; demands control.
</li>
<li>
Biblical submission does not require surrendering discernment. A wife remains morally responsible, spiritually discerning, and able to recognize when something is wrong. Submission to God comes before submission to another person.&nbsp;
</li>
<li>
Forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Reconciliation requires safety and repentance. A person can forgive while setting boundaries, filing a police report, or seeking a restraining order.
</li>
<li>
A marriage should not be preserved at the expense of someone&rsquo;s safety. When abuse is active, the first steps are safety, clear boundaries, trustworthy support, documentation, and qualified help, not immediate marriage counseling.
</li>
</ul>
Remember, healthy spiritual leadership lays down personal preferences and agendas for the good of the people being led. It does not require someone else to disappear or become small.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Healing after betrayal is possible, but it requires intentional work. Learn more about the step-by-step course created to help couples process pain, rebuild trust, and reconnect at <a href="https://danache.com/infidelityintensive">danache.com/infidelityintensive</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast for couples seeking relatable marriage advice, biblical encouragement, and real hope. With her signature no-nonsense approach, marriage coach and author Dana Che brings truth and grace to the hard conversations couples often avoid—while weaving in just enough humor to make the heavy topics feel a little lighter. Each episode helps couples rebuild trust, improve communication, restore intimacy, heal after infidelity, and reconnect emotionally and spiritually.

Through honest conversations, real-life stories, faith-filled wisdom, and practical relationship tools, Dana offers a clear approach to navigating conflict, betrayal, disappointment, and disconnection—without shame, clichés, or unrealistic expectations.

Whether you are recovering from infidelity, strengthening an already-good marriage, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast will help you create a healthier, more connected, Christ-centered relationship.

New episodes are released every Tuesday. Follow Rebuilding Us and begin your journey from conflict to connection.

Let the rebuild begin!

Get Dana's latest book Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast for couples seeking relatable marriage advice, biblical encouragement, and real hope. With her signature no-nonsense approach, marriage coach and author Dana Che brings truth and grace to the hard conversations couples often avoid&mdash;while weaving in just enough humor to make the heavy topics feel a little lighter. Each episode helps couples rebuild trust, improve communication, restore intimacy, heal after infidelity, and reconnect emotionally and spiritually.
Through honest conversations, real-life stories, faith-filled wisdom, and practical relationship tools, Dana offers a clear approach to navigating conflict, betrayal, disappointment, and disconnection&mdash;without shame, clich&eacute;s, or unrealistic expectations.
Whether you are recovering from infidelity, strengthening an already-good marriage, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast will help you create a healthier, more connected, Christ-centered relationship.
New episodes are released every Tuesday. Follow&nbsp;Rebuilding Us and begin your journey from conflict to connection.
Let the rebuild begin!
Get Dana's latest book <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership.

Spiritual Leadership or Spiritual Abuse in Marriage? 6 Signs to Know the Difference

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/66c6a841-03a1-44eb-90d1-b4bf002317fe/transcript