It's a common dilemma in marriage: how to turn your spouse down for sexy time without feeling guilty. What do you do when one spouse isn't in the mood for sex yet doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings? That's the question of one listener who shared her experience and sought advice on saying no without guilt.

Key Takeaways:


Understanding Your Feelings: Take a self-assessment to identify why you might not be in the mood. Factors could include tiredness, stress, or emotional disconnect.


The Power of Honesty: It’s crucial to communicate openly and kindly with your spouse about your feelings. A simple, honest conversation can prevent feelings of rejection.


Offering Alternative Connections: Suggesting other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling or a massage, can help maintain the bond with your spouse without feeling pressured into having sex.


Checking Emotional Responses: For the spouse who feels turned down, it’s important to reflect on one’s emotional response to ensure that sex doesn’t become an idol in the relationship.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Reeling from an affair? Get my Affair Recovery Checklist & begin your healing journey today.

Ep. 21 - When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

If you have questions about relationship or marriage topics, email or reach out on Instagram.

 

It's a common dilemma in marriage: how to turn your spouse down for sexy time without feeling guilty. What do you do when one spouse isn't in the mood for sex yet doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings? That's the question of one listener who shared her experience and sought advice on saying no without guilt.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
Understanding Your Feelings: Take a self-assessment to identify why you might not be in the mood. Factors could include tiredness, stress, or emotional disconnect.
</li>
<li>
The Power of Honesty: It&rsquo;s crucial to communicate openly and kindly with your spouse about your feelings. A simple, honest conversation can prevent feelings of rejection.
</li>
<li>
Offering Alternative Connections: Suggesting other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling or a massage, can help maintain the bond with your spouse without feeling pressured into having sex.
</li>
<li>
Checking Emotional Responses: For the spouse who feels turned down, it&rsquo;s important to reflect on one&rsquo;s emotional response to ensure that sex doesn&rsquo;t become an idol in the relationship.
</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Reeling from an affair? <a href="https://danache.com/affairchecklist">Get my Affair Recovery Checklist&nbsp;</a>&amp; begin your healing journey today.
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/21-mood-when-youre-not-in-the-mood-for-sex-all-about-sex-series/">Ep. 21 - When You're Not in the Mood for Sex</a>
If you have questions about relationship or marriage topics, <a href="https://danache.com/contact">email&nbsp;</a>or reach out on <a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram</a>.
&nbsp;

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

Get Dana's latest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
Get Dana's latest book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>,&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren’t built by avoiding hard seasons—they’re built by learning how to move through them well.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

And be sure to get Dana's new book  Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren&rsquo;t built by avoiding hard seasons&mdash;they&rsquo;re built by learning how to move through them well.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
And be sure to get Dana's new book &nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;