It's a common dilemma in marriage: how to turn your spouse down for sexy time without feeling guilty. What do you do when one spouse isn't in the mood for sex yet doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings? That's the question of one listener who shared her experience and sought advice on saying no without guilt.

Key Takeaways:


Understanding Your Feelings: Take a self-assessment to identify why you might not be in the mood. Factors could include tiredness, stress, or emotional disconnect.


The Power of Honesty: It’s crucial to communicate openly and kindly with your spouse about your feelings. A simple, honest conversation can prevent feelings of rejection.


Offering Alternative Connections: Suggesting other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling or a massage, can help maintain the bond with your spouse without feeling pressured into having sex.


Checking Emotional Responses: For the spouse who feels turned down, it’s important to reflect on one’s emotional response to ensure that sex doesn’t become an idol in the relationship.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Reeling from an affair? Get my Affair Recovery Checklist & begin your healing journey today.

Ep. 21 - When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

If you have questions about relationship or marriage topics, email or reach out on Instagram.

 

It's a common dilemma in marriage: how to turn your spouse down for sexy time without feeling guilty. What do you do when one spouse isn't in the mood for sex yet doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings? That's the question of one listener who shared her experience and sought advice on saying no without guilt.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
Understanding Your Feelings: Take a self-assessment to identify why you might not be in the mood. Factors could include tiredness, stress, or emotional disconnect.
</li>
<li>
The Power of Honesty: It&rsquo;s crucial to communicate openly and kindly with your spouse about your feelings. A simple, honest conversation can prevent feelings of rejection.
</li>
<li>
Offering Alternative Connections: Suggesting other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling or a massage, can help maintain the bond with your spouse without feeling pressured into having sex.
</li>
<li>
Checking Emotional Responses: For the spouse who feels turned down, it&rsquo;s important to reflect on one&rsquo;s emotional response to ensure that sex doesn&rsquo;t become an idol in the relationship.
</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Reeling from an affair? <a href="https://danache.com/affairchecklist">Get my Affair Recovery Checklist&nbsp;</a>&amp; begin your healing journey today.
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/21-mood-when-youre-not-in-the-mood-for-sex-all-about-sex-series/">Ep. 21 - When You're Not in the Mood for Sex</a>
If you have questions about relationship or marriage topics, <a href="https://danache.com/contact">email&nbsp;</a>or reach out on <a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram</a>.
&nbsp;

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Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.