Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

There are losses we know how to respond to and some we don't. In this episode, Nicole Langman talks about carrying a story she never wanted. She imagined a white picket fence, Prince Charming, children, and smooth sailing. Instead, her husband walked away from the marriage, leaving her blindsided by infidelity, rejection, and abandonment. When someone dies, comforting casseroles arrive. People send cards. Churches organize meal trains. We understand that grief deserves attention. But what happens when the loss is a marriage, a relationship, a diagnosis, a family connection, or the future you expected to have? Grief doesn’t only follow death. Sometimes it follows divorce, rejection, infertility, estrangement, or a dream that falls apart. Nicole describes the experience as being “kicked out of my favorite club, the wife club.". Her identity, her plans, and her sense of belonging were suddenly under attack. And the silence around it made the grief heavier. “What we want is to be seen.” Nicole explains why “doing nothing is the worst thing that we can do” when someone is grieving, and how simple acts of presence can help a hurting person feel seen. We also discuss lament, soul knowledge, forgiveness, identity, healing, and the difference between reconciliation and forgiveness. Nicole’s story of finding her identity in God’s love, creating beauty from brokenness, and eventually marrying her first love is a powerful reminder that a painful chapter doesn’t mean the story is over. Key takeaways: The difference between head knowledge and soul knowledge How lament can become part of healing Rebuilding identity after rejection and abandonment Why forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same The Japanese art of kintsugi and how God repurposes brokenness Her unexpected redemption story  Resources mentioned in this episode: 📖 Find Nicole’s book, This Isn’t the Story I Wanted, along with her devotional and resources at nicolelangman.com 🗣️ Get your FREE Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters When in Conflict at danache.com/conversationstarters.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Have you ever tried to explain how you feel, only to walk away feeling even more misunderstood? In marriage, this can be very frustrating. A simple conversation turns into defensiveness, confusion, or conflict. In this episode, I’m sharing practical ways to communicate what you’re really feeling so your partner has a better chance of hearing your heart. I’ll walk you through how to express yourself with more clarity, stay grounded during difficult conversations, and avoid some of the common communication habits that create unnecessary tension. If you’re tired of conversations going sideways and want to feel more heard, understood, and connected in your relationship, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways: How to express your feelings without putting your partner on the defensive Why clarity matters when communicating what you need A funny story of how this works with Shaun and me in real time Common mistakes that cause your message to get misunderstood How to stay grounded when emotions are running high Ways to create more connection during difficult conversations Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Get your FREE Heart to Heart Conversation Starters here.  Start my From Conflict to Connection course today and be on track to better communication immediately! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

I'm discussing six signs of spiritual abuse in marriage and how to recognize the difference between biblical spiritual leadership and toxic leadership. I explain why healthy leadership invites collaboration, tolerates disagreement, and never uses Scripture, submission, or God to control a spouse. I also talk about spiritual manipulation, maintaining personal discernment, forgiveness versus reconciliation, and why forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Finally, I share practical steps for responding to abuse, including telling the truth to someone trustworthy, stopping the minimization of harmful patterns, documenting what is happening, prioritizing safety, and seeking qualified support before attempting to rebuild the marriage. Key Takeaways: Healthy leadership invites collaboration. “Let’s pray about this” creates room for discernment and discussion. “I’m in charge, so this is what we’re doing” demands control. Biblical submission does not require surrendering discernment. A wife remains morally responsible, spiritually discerning, and able to recognize when something is wrong. Submission to God comes before submission to another person.  Forgiveness does not require continued access to harm you. Reconciliation requires safety and repentance. A person can forgive while setting boundaries, filing a police report, or seeking a restraining order. A marriage should not be preserved at the expense of someone’s safety. When abuse is active, the first steps are safety, clear boundaries, trustworthy support, documentation, and qualified help, not immediate marriage counseling. Remember, healthy spiritual leadership lays down personal preferences and agendas for the good of the people being led. It does not require someone else to disappear or become small. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Healing after betrayal is possible, but it requires intentional work. Learn more about the step-by-step course created to help couples process pain, rebuild trust, and reconnect at danache.com/infidelityintensive   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

My hubby, Shaun, joins me in this special episode to discuss the Netflix docuseries Death of the Pastor’s Wife and the difficult questions it raises about abuse of power, spiritual manipulation, accountability, submission, and marriage. This conversation goes beyond the story itself. Shaun and I explore how churches can create healthier accountability structures, why power differentials matter, what you should do when you recognize abuse, and what partnership in marriage can look like without control or coercion. If you’re married, serving in leadership, part of a church community, or reexamining your own faith and relationships, this episode offers an honest conversation about discernment, responsibility, and healing. Key Takeaways: Why every church leader needs accountability How spiritual manipulation can distort Scripture The difference between biblical submission and control Why victims shouldn’t be blamed for someone else’s abuse of power How Shaun and I approach marriage as a partnership Why church members have a responsibility to speak up when something feels wrong A prayer for marriages, church leaders, victims of abuse, and Mica Miller's family If you're being abused by a spouse or partner, seek legal and professional help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Talking to your spouse about your marriage can become so constant that the relationship starts feeling like a project instead of a partnership. While communication is important, there are other ways to build connection...six ways in fact, that work better than repeated conversations. Listen in as I share these practical marriage tips to help deepen your connection and shift you toward regulation, curiosity, appreciation, consistent action, and ordinary moments of togetherness. Key Takeaways: How your marriage problems can become the only subject of the relationship, turning dates, car rides, and quiet moments into another relationship evaluation Why trying to resolve conflict while emotionally flooded turns spouses into attorneys actually arguing their case How a temporary pause can protect your marriage What to do when criticism becomes the dominant atmosphere in your marriage Why your spouse has seemingly "stopped trying" The 80/20 marriage rule that will enhance your friendship, enjoyment, and connection Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get your free Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters here. Rebuilding your marriage after infidelity? Let Infidelity Intensive do the heavy lifting for you. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

What do you do when you want to work on the marriage... but your spouse doesn't? Maybe you've suggested marriage coaching or counseling. You've sent the podcast episode. You've bought the book. You've tried to start the conversations. You've prayed for change. And your spouse seems uninterested, unwilling, or just plain tired of talking about the marriage. That can be an incredibly frustrating and lonely place to be. But here's the truth I want you to hear in this episode: Your spouse's unwillingness to work on the marriage doesn't mean there's no work you can do. And it doesn't mean your only options are to nag them into participating or sit around waiting for them to change. In this episode, we're talking about what it looks like to take responsibility for your side of the relationship without trying to carry the entire marriage by yourself. We'll talk about the temptation to make your spouse the project, why pressure rarely produces genuine change, and how focusing on your own growth can begin to shift the dynamic in your relationship. In This Episode, You'll Learn: What to do when you're the only one who seems interested in improving the marriage The difference between taking responsibility and taking all the responsibility What you can control when so much feels outside of your control How to develop stamina for the long game Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Have you dealt with rejection or the feeling of being forgotten or neglected? When the people closest to you treat you like you're invisible or unimportant, it can trigger all sorts of emotions and insecurities. In today's podcast episode, I'm sharing a story of a woman who gave and gave, but her best still wasn't good enough. She was literally discarded like yesterday's news. But in that pain, she found God. Not just a God she'd heard about, but one she encountered for herself.  Join me as I share how God sees you, supports you, and stays with you...even when everyone else walks away. This inspirational podcast episode will bless your marriage, your friendships, your family relationships, and your whole life.  Key Takeaways: The Power of God's Names: El Roi: The God Who Sees Me Hagar, from Genesis 16, is the first person in Scripture to give God a name. Through Hagar’s experience, we see how God sees us in our struggles, loneliness, and pain. El Shaddai: The All-Sufficient One No matter what we feel we lack—whether in life or in marriage—God is more than enough and provides everything we need. Jehovah Shalom: The Lord is Peace Invoking God’s shalom means declaring His full, restorative peace over our homes and relationships. Emmanuel: God With Us God is not distant; He is present in every season, moment, and even in conflict, offering comfort and companionship. Resources Mentioned in this Episode Download my FREE "Speak Life Affirmations" audio and combat every negative thought with the truth of God's word.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Let’s be honest—just because we grew up and got married doesn’t mean we left our triggers at the playground. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless game of emotional Whac-A-Mole. In today’s episode, I’m unpacking the hidden childhood triggers that sneak into our marriages, those moments when a look or a phrase sends us spiraling back—defenses up, ready to fight, flee, or freeze. But surely there's a better way. Here’s what we dig into: Unpacking Childhood Baggage We talk about why seemingly harmless comments from our spouse can unleash a flood of old wounds, and how those reactions aren’t just “sensitivity”—they’re well-worn ruts of our childhood stories. Scarcity Mindset in Marriage What happens when our knee-jerk belief is that there’s “not enough”—not enough love, attention, or security? I’ll confess the ways scarcity thinking creeps into my own marriage, and the choices I made, both emotional and practical, have started shifting our connection. Faith and the Hard Work of Healing Yep, we’re going there. I unpack where faith gets tangled up with those painful places—and why it matters. We talk about inviting God into the ugly-beautiful mess, not just the Instagrammable moments, and why radical honesty is sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do. Steps Toward Healing—Without Pretending It’s Easy This isn’t about quick fixes or pretending your marriage is something it’s not. We’ll get real about weariness. About losing hope. About showing up anyway and trying one more time. Because that’s where real change starts: not with grand gestures, but with brave, small choices over time. Links & Resources: Take my free quiz: How Connected a Partner Are You? Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Recommended episode: “Unpacking Triggers, Strongholds, & Inner Healing - with Frank Meadows” Support the Show: Your giving makes a difference! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

In part two of this conversation on opposite sex friendships in marriage, marriage coach Sylvia Chipman and I reflect on how emotional affairs rarely begin with the intention to betray a spouse. They often develop gradually through personal conversations, frequent communication, shared experiences, and the comforting feeling of being deeply understood. A person may genuinely believe, “We’re just friends,” while unintentionally building a level of closeness that belongs within the marriage. This is why boundaries are crucial for protecting not only your marriage but also your other friendship. Key Takeaways: How to respond when your spouse expresses discomfort. Is preserving the friendship worth damaging your partner’s peace or weakening trust in your marriage? How humility tied the cords of trust and security in your marriage How your history, vulnerabilities, and level of trust shape the boundaries your marriage needs Specific boundaries you may want to employ in your relationships This episode isn’t about living suspiciously or refusing to interact with the opposite sex. It’s about choosing wisdom. Healthy friendships require transparency, appropriate communication, and boundaries both spouses understand and respect.  Ultimately, there may not be one rule that fits every couple.  The goal is not to prove that you can handle a friendship—it is to protect the intimacy, safety, and trust you are building with your spouse. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Think your relationship may be in danger of an affair? Take my confidential "Affair Quiz" here.  Learn more about Sylvia's marriage coaching here.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

If you're married, can men and women really be just friends? It’s a question as old as time, sparking heated debates at dinner tables, in church lobbies, and—of course—in marriages. Today's episode is a sweet repeat,  where I sat down with my good friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, to unpack this tricky territory: Can you maintain healthy, platonic friendships with the opposite sex after you’re married? Or is it just a slippery slope? Sylvia and I get real and raw about our own experiences—some wins, some mistakes, and lots of lessons learned in hopes that you'll guard your marriages with intention. Key Takeaways: The emotional bonds that can form even if you’re not physically attracted to someone Why setting healthy boundaries is crucial How past wounds or histories of infidelity can shape your perspective on friendship with the opposite sex. We also discuss “situationships,” the slow burn of emotional affairs, and how to spot (and avoid) potential pitfalls in your friendships. You'll hear practical advice on communicating with your spouse about opposite-sex friends and how to get real with yourself so that you can be real with the true purpose of your friendships.  Whether you believe it’s possible to have platonic friends in marriage or think it’s playing with fire, this episode will make you think twice about this important issue. This episode originally aired on October 10, 2023. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Want to connect better with your spouse? Learn your "connection style" by taking my partner quiz here.  Looking for a quick but strategic guide in connecting with your spouse? Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples.  Connect with Sylvia and learn about her coaching here.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Infidelity is a word that can strike deep fear and pain into the heart of any married person. Many believe that affairs “just happen,” or that only people in miserable relationships are at risk. But as I share in today's episode, even couples with good marriages, strong commitments, and sincere love for one another can find themselves blindsided by the devastation of an affair. Understanding how affairs happen—the real anatomy of an affair—is crucial to safeguarding your relationship. I draw on both my own personal experiences and the biblical story of David and Bathsheba to help unpack the key stages of an affair and, more importantly, how they can be avoided.  Whether you fear an affair is brewing, are teetering on the edge yourself, or want to help protect friends and loved ones, this episode can serve as a wake-up call and a guide toward a safer, more genuine marriage.  Key Takeaways from This Episode Temptation Isn’t Sin:  Being tempted is not a sin. We all experience temptation, but what we do next makes all the difference. David & Bathsheba’s Story: Using the biblical account as a backdrop, learn the steps that lead to an affair. Practical Advice: Boredom and idle time can open doors to temptation. Learn what to do to curb your vulnerabilities.  There’s Always a Way Out: The episode dives into 1 Corinthians 10, reassuring you that God will always provide a way of escape when we are tempted. No Affair Is Worth the Cost: No good thing comes from an affair, and the path of rebuilding, though tough, can absolutely be worth it. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Is your relationship at risk for an affair? Take my free 2-minute quiz: 👉 danache.com/affairquiz Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples—with a dedicated chapter on infidelity and so much more. Get your copy here! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Are you ready to transform conflict in your marriage and cultivate a deeper partnership? I sat down with special guest David Haastrup, host of the Reconnected Marriage Partners Podcast, for his take on increasing emotional awareness/regulation and the CALM method for handling conflict.  We both share honest stories from our own marriages, including how our different upbringings shaped our expectations and how teamwork and partnership are essential for Christian couples. David dives into practical strategies for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and what it really means to “catch the moment” before things get heated. We also explore why the early years of marriage can be so challenging and how his book, “A Couple’s First 10 Years,” can help you thrive when life throws curveballs—like cross-country moves, health crises, and raising young kids. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same old conflict cycle, or want to uncover what’s really beneath surface-level arguments, you don’t want to miss this conversation. Key Takeaways: A CALM Approach to Conflict Conflict is inevitable, but chaos doesn’t have to be. David introduced his practical CALM Method for handling disagreements with empathy and intention: Catch the moment – Develop self-awareness to recognize turning points in a conflict. Allow the pause – Take a breather before responding to diffuse tension. Lower the intensity – Use gentle words and reframe your approach to prevent escalation. Move toward understanding – Focus on truly hearing your partner, not just winning the argument. This episode is full of actionable advice and personal stories about how this framework makes a difference, even when emotions run high and the household clashes (like those endless debates over the dishes!), plus more tips on emotional regulation. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Struggling in your early years of marriage or want to support friends who are? David's new book, A Couple’s First 10 Years, might be just the read you need. Also, check out his free online webinar: “How to Stop the Argument Before It Starts" and the Reconnected Marriages Partners Podcast here. Get my Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters—three simple prompts to help you start difficult conversations with clarity and empathy. Grab your copy here! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

It's a topic that every married couple deals with sooner or later—conflict. If you’re married, you know that conflict comes with the territory. But there is a way to deal with it better and faster. Sometimes it shows up in the middle of family vacations, like on our recent trip to Tokyo and Guam. Sean and I found ourselves in the midst of a classic “silent treatment” scenario—cordial but emotionally iced out. Even our normally amazing vacations aren’t immune to moments like that. Conflict can give way to anger, and if we're not careful, can erode even the best of relationships. Anger in marriage takes a lot of forms. Some of us explode, others implode and just simmer with resentment. I believe that unchecked anger is dangerous, sometimes even more so when it’s hidden. That’s why I turn to scripture, specifically Ephesians 4, which famously says “do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” For me, that means not allowing anger to control me.  It doesn’t necessarily mean every single conflict needs to be solved before bed. Sometimes you need a pause, but you shouldn’t let anger fester and give the devil a foothold. Key Takeaways: The “24-hour rule” in our marriage. It was actually Shaun’s idea—why, more often than not, underneath our anger is about something deeper: like feeling unheard, disrespected, or maybe just plain tired. The power of the pause. Instead of stewing, take time to reflect on what's actually going with you. Important questions to ask yourself. What am I really feeling? What triggered me? “I” statements to bring clarity. Share your perspective, not accusations. Be honest with your spouse—even if you don’t have all the answers yet. Conflict doesn’t have to break connection. With a little honesty, reflection, and grace, it can actually bring you closer together. Resources Mentioned in This Episode:  Not sure how to bring up certain conversations? Get my "Conversation Starters when in Conflict FREE guide.  Go deeper with my interactive communication course: From Conflict to Connection.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Sharing your feelings can be vulnerable, especially if there is already conflict in your relationship. Too often, people choose to stuff their feelings, pretending all is well just to avoid conflict. The problem with that is that conflict doesn't usually just go away. It must be addressed. Originally aired in December, 2023, today's episode is one for the ages. I'm sharing four tips on how to honestly express yourself to your spouse or partner without deepening the disconnection gap or making things worse.  After you listen, you will be equipped with four ways to communicate more clearly and confidently and seek a mutual resolution for any conflict that comes your way.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get your FREE "Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict" here.  Check out my "From Conflict to Connection" e-course.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Marriage is a blessing...until it's not. Good marriages can be like heaven on earth, but bad marriages are like h, e, double hockey sticks. Whether your marriage is wonderful or wearisome, chances are you may be prioritizing it too much. How do you know if your marriage has become an idol in your life? That's what we're discussing in today's sweet repeat episode (originally aired on August 6, 2024).  Christian marriages, especially, can fall prey to marriage becoming an idol, because it seems most churches are obsessed with singles getting married, married people making marriage work, and the like. Marriage is a good thing. But there are some dangers of making your marriage or your spouse your end-all be-all.  This conversation is one we need to have more of. Listen in as I unpack how to keep your marriage first without it becoming too much of the focus of your world.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Change your language, and change your life. Download my free Speak Life Audio Affirmations here.  Go deeper and listen to my sermon, "Idols in Disguise."   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Are you disappointed by someone you love? Maybe your spouse let you down, a friend broke your trust, or a relationship didn't turn out the way you hoped. The truth is, every one of us has experienced the pain of unmet expectations. In this replay episode, we're revisiting a foundational conversation about hope, because the message is just as important today as when it first aired. Disappointment has a way of settling into our hearts if we don't address it. Left unchecked, it can lead to bitterness, resentment, anger, and emotional distance in our relationships. But there is another path. In this episode, we'll explore how to stop avoiding the pain of disappointment, confront the truth about what hurt you, and begin the healing process through forgiveness. When we release our disappointments to God and choose forgiveness, we make room for freedom, healing, and hope to grow. The Beauty of Forgiveness You've probably heard the saying, "Holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." While unforgiveness often feels like protection, it actually keeps us trapped in the very pain we're trying to avoid. Forgiveness doesn't excuse what happened, but it does release you from carrying the weight of the offense. In marriage and close relationships, forgiveness isn't optional—it's essential. The people closest to us have the greatest access to our hearts, which means they also have the greatest capacity to hurt us. Yet Scripture reminds us that "love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). What Disappointment Can Teach Us As difficult as disappointment is, God can use it to develop something powerful within us. Romans 5:3-5 teaches that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance builds character, and character produces hope. When we learn to endure relational disappointments instead of being defined by them, we grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. We begin to trust that God can redeem even the most painful circumstances and work them together for our good (Romans 8:28). If you've been carrying disappointment, hurt, or unforgiveness, this conversation will encourage you to take the next step toward healing and rediscover the hope that God has for you. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Learn the 7 Secrets to Build a Lasting Marriage here.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

I want you to have the clarity, consistency, and cooperation you need to avoid confusion, consequences, and chaos should you decide to do an in-home separation. Navigating an in-home separation is not an easy process, but sometimes, due to financial constraints, children with special needs, or unique life circumstances, it may be the best option. As someone who is 100% pro marriage and always rooting for reconciliation, I want you to be equipped as much as possible during this challenging season. You’ll hear me break down nine tips to have a better success rate during your in-home separation, including how to define your purpose for separating, set clear boundaries, create a timeline, and prioritize individual healing and growth. I’ll walk you through the importance of establishing communication rhythms and creating metrics to track progress, right down to dividing household responsibilities and discussing how to navigate parenting together under one roof. I'll also talk about why crucial conversations—sometimes with the help of a therapist, coach, or pastor—are necessary if you want to give your marriage the best shot at restoration. Whether you’re considering an in-home separation or already in the midst of one, this episode is packed with practical, faith-based advice to help you plan, communicate, and make decisions that are healthy for both you and your spouse. Don't forget—divorce isn’t your only option, and a purposeful in-home separation can be part of your journey back to each other. Resources Mentioned During This Episode:  Ep. 406: How to Do a Separation the S.M.A.R.T Way Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, and take your marriage from blah to better. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

In this episode, I'm sharing my step-by-step plan for navigating a marriage separation with wisdom and clarity. Separation is never something we hope for, but sometimes it can feel like the last exit before divorce. I’m covering the exact conversations you need to have before separating—from setting boundaries and making living arrangements to talking about finances, kids, and even how (and if!) to tell friends and family. I break down why knowing your "why" behind the separation is crucial, how to communicate difficult decisions with your spouse, and the importance of having clear start and end dates (plus regular checkpoints) to help you measure progress. I also talk candidly about common mistakes couples make and share encouragement and hope for those who feel like reconciliation is impossible. If you or someone you know is considering separation, this episode will equip you with practical tools, seasoned advice, and hope to make the process as healthy as possible.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Learn from other couples just like you who made it through when you get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Episode 406: How to do Separation in Marriage the S.M.A.R.T Way Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

It's a subject most of us would rather avoid—but sometimes, we have to face it head-on: separation in marriage. When might it be necessary, how do you do it with purpose, and why every rough patch isn't a reason to separate. You’ll hear me break down the three main reasons I believe separation could be warranted—adultery, abuse, and addiction—and I’ll also share why things like boredom, apathy, or just feeling weary in your marriage are not strong enough reasons to walk away. I get real about my own story, including a time when Shaun and I tried in-home separation (spoiler alert: we did it all wrong!) I also lay out the S.M.A.R.T goals framework—yes, the same one you hear about in business or personal development—as a step-by-step, purposeful plan to help you approach separation with clarity. I also walk you through some practical conversations you need to have if you’re considering a separation: What about the kids? How should you handle finances? What’s the deal with sex or dating during a separation? If you’re in a spot where you’re thinking about separating from your spouse, or maybe you know someone who is, this is the episode you need to hear. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Grab my free Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict. Pick up my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. An excellent resource for marriages in the middle, with practical strategies to help you build a thriving marriage—even after separation. Think your spouse might be unfaithful or in the stages of rebuilding after an affair? Download my free resource: From Heartbreak to Healing: A 12-Step Affair Recovery Checklist.   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful—or if you’re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal—this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust? A listener wrote in asking this very question as she shared her struggle after infidelity. Even after her husband’s affair, she finds herself obsessively checking his phone, car, and emails, desperately searching for signs he’s being truthful. In this episode, I'm tackling why these behaviors can be re-traumatizing, how they keep you stuck in a cycle of mistrust, and what it really takes to break free. Key Takeaways: The difference between being truly concerned and just feeling paranoid Why going through your spouse’s phone becomes an addiction after infidelity How to stop the cycle of self-betrayal and reclaim your peace The vital role of prayer and trusting God when you can’t trust your spouse My proven formula for rebuilding trust: good behavior over time Ways to give both yourself and your spouse grace during the healing process If you find yourself wrestling with trust after an affair, or if you just can’t seem to move past the hurt, this episode will give you hope and tools to move forward. I’m also inviting you to write in your own marriage questions—your story matters and you’re not alone! Have a question? Email me at info@danache.com, and I might answer it in an upcoming show! Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Learn more and get started with my Infidelity Intensive course.   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage. Borrowing from renowned attachment-theory expert Sue Johnson's model, these questions can transform even the most hopeless-feeling, disconnected relationships. Beatriz explains how knowing these questions beforehand is a game-changer, and she also shares her powerful personal story of walking through marital struggle, separation, and ultimately, restoration. Beatriz and I break down how every marital conflict, big or small, boils down to one of five foundational questions every spouse is asking—often without even realizing it. We’re talking: Why feeling valued, needed, and cherished is non-negotiable for a healthy marriage How to recognize and break free from the “roommate syndrome” so many couples fall into The role of prayer and honest self-reflection when things seem hopeless How over-spiritualizing can sometimes get us stuck—and what healthy vulnerability looks like instead Practical ways to talk through arguments and change the narrative in your relationship Whether you’re the wife who feels like she’s carrying it all, or the spouse worried that you’re growing further apart, this conversation is for you. Beatriz Vargas even shares exactly where you can download the five core questions to bring these breakthrough conversations to your own marriage. If you’re ready for real talk with real hope for rebuilding trust, connection, and love—even when it feels impossible—press play now! Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Download the Five Core Questions for Every Marriage: thegracefueledwife.com/questions Connect with Beatriz Vargas on all platforms at The Grace Fueled Wife Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples! Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook.    Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Author, speaker, and multi-generational mentor Rhonda Stoppe joins the show to discuss the challenges and joys of motherhood and share some practical lessons from her latest book about imperfect moms of the Bible. We also discuss some of our own mom struggles in hopes of encouraging you on your mothering journey. If you've ever wondered, “Am I doing this mom thing right? Is just being a mom truly enough?”—then this conversation is for you. We unpack Rhonda’s new book, Moms of the Bible: Life-Changing Lessons from Fearless, Flawed, and Faithful Mothers in Scripture. Together, we get real about embracing motherhood as a calling rather than just a role. Rhonda shares practical wisdom on breaking generational cycles, overcoming mom guilt, and finding your identity in Christ—so you can raise your children with intention and faith without losing yourself in the process. Listen in as we talk about: How to break free from generational patterns and embrace a no-regrets approach to motherhood Redefining ministry, purpose, and presence within your home The tension between pursuing your individual calling and prioritizing your family Modeling forgiveness, spiritual growth, and resilience for your kids—even when you've come from hurt or dysfunction Giving each of your children love and attention (even the “difficult” ones!) and learning from examples like Rebekah, Mary, and other moms in the Bible The unique beauty—and urgency—of grandparenting and building a spiritual legacy Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or somewhere in between, this episode will encourage you to step confidently into your mission field right at home. So lean in, and let’s rebuild us—one intentional relationship at a time.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get Rhonda's book: Imperfect Moms of the Bible Listen to Rhonda's podcast: Old Ladies Know Stuff Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Have you heard of the term “unequally yoked” in relationships and marriage? So many of you have reached out asking, “Is it okay for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?” I’m breaking down exactly what the Bible says about being unequally yoked, and sharing real talk about how this applies to dating, marriage, and even business partnerships. I talk about why God’s commands aren’t about restricting us, but are there for our protection and blessing. If you’re already in a "mixed" marriage, I walk you through practical, biblical encouragement on how to live out your faith and how your actions—not just your words—can influence your spouse. You’ll also hear: The true definition of “unequally yoked” and why it matters for Christian singles and couples What to do if you’re a believer married to a non-believer Biblical advice on “missionary dating” and why it’s rarely a good idea How to use spiritual discernment (and even your common sense!) when making relationship choices My personal story of how my husband Shaun and I navigated differences in our spiritual walk Encouragement for the spouse who feels alone in their faith journey Whether you’re single, dating, married, or walking alongside a loved one in this situation, this episode will help you understand the importance of honoring God with your choices and trusting Him with your relationships. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Get the newly released audiobook for Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Finding out your spouse has been unfaithful can feel like your entire world has just shattered. I'm speaking directly to the person who is hurting, confused, and unsure of what to do next in this “best of the best” sweet repeat episode. Whether this terrible discovery is fresh or something you’ve been quietly carrying for a while, this conversation will help you take your first steps toward healing. I'm also sharing from both sides of the story—as someone who has experienced infidelity and caused it—with compassion, clarity, and a path forward that doesn’t depend on your spouse’s readiness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, or alone… this episode is for you. What You’ll Hear in This Episode Why infidelity is more destructive than most people realize The truth about healing (and why it doesn’t start where most people think) Why jumping straight into couples or marriage counseling may not be the best first step The importance of focusing on your personal healing first Encouragement for those who haven’t told anyone yet How to begin moving forward—even if your spouse isn’t ready Get help now at danache.com/infidelityintensive. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

We're celebrating our 400th episode and tackling one of the most important topics in marriage—consistency. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like your efforts to improve your marriage aren’t working or wondered if all those small daily actions really matter, this episode is for you. Today, I’m sharing my personal journey and my not-so-secret struggle with staying consistent—not just in my marriage, but in life! I’ll walk you through a simple, actionable framework that I created called the CARE acronym (Check-in, Affection, Reassurance, Encouragement) to help you build trust, commitment, and affection in your relationship. I’ll also give practical tips for daily connection, show you how to stay motivated when you don’t see instant results, and explain why the little things you do will eventually transform your marriage. You’ll hear: Why consistency is a game-changer for marriage How to use 5-10 minute daily check-ins to reconnect with your spouse Simple ways to show affection and reassurance every single day—even if it feels awkward at first Real encouragement to keep planting seeds, even when it seems like nothing is changing How intentionality transformed my relationship with Shawn after years of inconsistency Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this episode will equip you with the tools you need to build a stronger, more secure marriage—one small, consistent step at a time. You can create the marriage you want, and I hope this milestone episode inspires you to start today! Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Ep. 394: Do You Need Help, a Hug, or Just to Be Heard? 3 Questions Show Empathy and Care   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Do you often get frustrated or maybe even sad because it seems you're the only one working on your marriage? Like, your spouse is "in it," but he/she doesn't seem to take the marriage seriously. You often feel taken for granted, or you feel like you take two steps forward and twelve steps back? Today's episode is just what you need to hear. This is a sweet repeat (an oldie but goodie)... a listener's question that I answered live on the podcast.  My answer still holds true. And it will still work for you, too.  Why You Should Listen?  You’ll learn how to: Change your step in the 'marriage dance' Switch your focus  Overcome frustration when nothing seems to be working Get a new perspective Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Is your relationship recovering from infidelity? Learn about my Infidelity Intensive here. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection. We'll talk about the five most common unrealistic expectations couples face, including the beliefs that our spouse should never change, should make us happy, or should simply know what we're thinking. I share some of my own personal stories—like how my expectation for Shaun to be the spiritual leader in our home led to unnecessary disappointment and what I learned about the roots of where that specific expectation came from. You’ll learn how to: Get curious together instead of assuming your way is the only way Stay flexible and open to growth as both you and your spouse change Collaborate and celebrate your unique strengths as a couple Let go of the pressure to change each other Develop a gratitude mindset for a more joyful marriage Resources mentioned in this episode: Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Related episodes:  Ep. 126 - How to Create a Marriage Vision Ep. 304 - 4 Expectations Every Marriage Should Have   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married and just want to build deeper intimacy with your spouse, these conversation starters will help you avoid pitfalls and create a lasting connection in your relationship. Many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and without the preparation they truly need. That's why I'm walking you through twelve powerful questions designed to spark vulnerable conversations—including how to make your partner feel heard, set appropriate boundaries with friends, handle conflict, address emotional wounds, and discover your emotional health meters. You’ll discover: The essential questions to identify what makes you (and your partner) feel loved, valued, and understood How to recognize and talk about emotionally unsafe behaviors that can sabotage connection The importance of knowing how you and your partner respond to hurt, stress, and burnout—and why you need to see each other at your worst as well as your best before tying the knot Strategies for reconnecting after conflict and not taking each other for granted Why sharing your dreams, emotional needs, and even moments of sadness can set the stage for greater intimacy and emotional health I also dive into how friendship dynamics must shift when you get married (yes, even those platonic besties!) and I break down why recognizing your own patterns—and understanding your partner’s—is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Download my free audio guide, 7 Secret Marriage Rules to Know Before I Do and After I Did Grab your copy of my brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. If you’re engaged, thinking about marriage, or want to refresh and deepen your connection, these 12 questions will transform the way you communicate and understand each other.   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work? In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything. I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship. If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start. This episode is especially helpful if you are: Struggling with conflict in your marriage Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.”  I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you. Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage. Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode: What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals” Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: “Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?” After going through a painful time, I reflect on grief and the unique ways we process pain. Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer someone isn’t advice, but presence. Inspired by a coaching session with one of my clients, I learned three powerful questions that have shaped the way I communicate and the ways in which I offer help. You're going to love this one.  The Money Question When someone you love is hurting, pause and ask: Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Do you need to be heard? This question helps break down emotional barriers and lets your partner, friend, or family member know you’re there for them in the way they need, not just in the way you want to give. Episode Highlights: Hugs: Hugs are healing. There is power in a simple embrace that can build connection and foster safety, sometimes more than words ever could. Help: Offering help is about respecting boundaries and waiting until your loved one is ready for advice. Ask before you jump in! Heard: The art of listening – not just hearing – is crucial. Learn to ask clarifying questions and listen with empathy to deepen your bond. A Practical Affirmation: Here's a simple affirmation you can use: “I am emotionally aware enough to help my [spouse/friend/partner] in their time of need.” Small shifts in how we communicate can make a lasting difference. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Ep. 89: “7 Tips to Become a Better Listener” Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Have you heard of 'ABC Dating'? It's a unique and fun way to keep date nights fresh by building each outing around a different letter of the alphabet. I'm joined in this episode by my friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, as we share personal stories, lots of laughs, and practical advice on how couples can break free from relationship ruts, regardless of budget or time constraints. From axe throwing in the backyard, to gelato and mini golf, to even tackling game nights at home, you’ll hear how intentional date night planning—even on a tight budget—can spark joy and rekindle connection in any marriage or relationship. The episode also tackles common challenges like financial limitations, busy schedules, and the importance of connecting without distractions (yes, that means putting down your phone). Whether you’re newly married or celebrating decades together, this episode is packed with inspiration and relatable wisdom for couples hoping to reinvigorate their relationship—one letter at a time. I truly believe dating is fuel for your marriage, so get ready for creative ideas, heartwarming stories, and lots of encouragement for rebuilding “us” in your marriage! Key Takeaways:  Dating isn't just for new couples: Whether it’s ABC Dating or another creative approach, the message is clear: dating isn’t just for new couples. It’s a lifeline for any marriage wanting to grow Connection must be intentional: Stay connected to your spouse through laughter, spontaneity, and teamwork Dates don't have to cost a lot: You can have inexpensive and fun times together—times that rejuvenate your relationship and deepen your connection. Focus on each other, not your phone: Put the phones away, leave the kids with someone you trust, and take time for each other. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Learn more about Sylvia's Thrive Marriage Coaching.  Get Dana's new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Do you feel disconnected or emotionally distant from your spouse? You're likely growing apart or feeling apathy in your relationship and want to know how to stop the drift. Today, I'm sharing some key insights and actionable steps to help you start rebuilding connection—even when things feel hopeless or aloof. I’ll break down the major causes of apathy in marriage and relationships—from emotional wounding and exhaustion to fear and misunderstanding—and I’ll share practical, actionable steps to start rebuilding your connection right now. Whether you’ve taken my scientifically-backed Partner Quiz and scored “apathetically aloof,” or you simply recognize the signs of emotional detachment, you’ll find encouragement and hope in this episode. I talk about the importance of vulnerability, having hard conversations, and the monumental power of forgiveness in making real progress. You’ll also hear how focusing on reconnection (instead of just fixing problems!) can reignite your emotional intimacy. Plus, I highlight simple resources like my online connection course, designed to fit into busy lives and help you move forward with confidence. If you’re ready to move away from apathy and toward authentic connection, this episode will give you the tools and motivation to start. Don’t give up on your marriage—there is always a path back to hope and intimacy! Key Takeaways:  Apathy Isn’t the End—It’s a Symptom: If you’re feeling apathetic, it’s often the result of past wounds, exhaustion, or fear. You’re not a bad partner; you’re likely protecting yourself after being hurt. Someone Has to Go First: Rebuilding connection takes courage. If you’re listening, “tag, you’re it!” Initiate the conversation. Vulnerability opens the door to marital healing. Forgiveness & Intentionality Rekindle Relationships: Focusing on reconnecting (instead of just the problems) and practicing forgiveness can transform your relationship. Go back to the habits and rhythms that made your relationship thrive in the first place. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Take the Partner Quiz to see how connected you really are. Sign up for my Connection Course  Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples   Listen, share, and start rebuilding with me—because your marriage can make it! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Valentine’s Day is almost here, and for many people, this holiday doesn’t always feel like a celebration, especially if you’re feeling disconnected or discouraged. You are definitely not alone—and this episode is packed with practical ideas you may have never considered to help you reconnect on Valentine's Day and beyond. Here's your cheat code for making Valentine’s Day meaningful, even when times are tough: Lighten the Load with Laughter Spend Time with Your Little Loves Face the Elephant in the Room Do Something Different Love Anyway  Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about big gifts or grand gestures. Remember, it’s the little things. The goal? Intentionally choose connection, even if it’s awkward, imperfect, or different from years before. Which tip will YOU try this year? Drop your answer below or DM @MrsDanaChe to share your story! Let’s make this Valentine’s Day a turning point in your marriage.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples    Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

If you're focusing on fixing the emotional or relational problems in your marriage but haven't addressed your spiritual disconnection, your efforts won't go as far or last as long. In today's episode, we're getting to the heart of why so many couples struggle in their marriages. From my experience coaching couples, I see marriage problems like poor communication or emotional distance are often symptoms of a deeper problem—spiritual disconnection. I believe marriage is about more than just connecting physically or emotionally; it requires an ongoing, strong spiritual bond as well. There are three main ways we connect in marriage:  Physical connection - good, but it isn’t strong enough to sustain a marriage. Emotional connection - better, but still incomplete Spiritual connection - best...the truest foundation that brings the deepest unity In order to close the emotional gap in your marriage, you have to build a stronger foundation than feelings alone.  Key Takeaways:  Understanding the cross and how marriage is a reflection of God How personal responsibility allows you to become more resilient through trials Becoming aware of how distractions keep you away from your real power The triangle analogy and why growing closer to God automatically grows you closer to your spouse  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Do you sometimes struggle with how to pray for your marriage? In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the five powerful ways you can cover your marriage in prayer—and how to actually pray with confidence, intention, and results. Whether you're a seasoned prayer warrior or just starting out, you’ll leave with a super-practical template that makes praying for your spouse simple and heartfelt. In today’s “sweet repeat,” I guide you through the acronym COVER: Compassion, Oneness, Vigor, Expectation, and Readiness, and show you how to apply each one as you pray over your relationship. Get ready to move beyond the typical “help my spouse have a good day” and into deeper, more meaningful prayers that can transform your connection. Key Takeaways: Why prayer is essential for your marriage: It’s not just about doing all the right things or attending another marriage conference, but about inviting God to truly work in your relationship. How COMPASSION sets the tone: Start from a place of humility and empathy, not judgment or resentment. The power of ONENESS: Discover how unity in marriage is a living witness to the world and why praying for oneness is so important. Why VIGOR matters: Bring energy, enthusiasm, and genuine effort into your prayers, even when you feel weary. Praying with EXPECTATION: Approach God believing He hears you and wants to respond to your faith-filled prayers. The importance of READINESS: Prayer isn’t a monologue; prepare to hear from God—and be open to what He might ask you to do! I’ll also share practical prayer topics—like unity, wisdom, protection, strength, resilience, and peace—to help you get started or go deeper in your prayer life. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: My brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, is available now! Visit triedandtruemarriagebook.com to grab your copy and get the FREE 5-Day devotional to start you on the right foundation.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

It's story time! Come and listen to how an ancient story about Deborah the judge can teach us to break free from traditional gender roles and society's expectations. I’m excited to share an excerpt from my brand-new book, “Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples,” which highlights Deborah's incredible leadership, her secure identity in God, and her husband Lappidoth's quiet strength and support. Key Takeaways: Why women are NOT second-class citizens in God’s kingdom and how our calling matters How men can champion their wife’s gifts and leadership without comparison and competition  Practical tips on honoring one another’s unique roles, shaking off cultural pressures, and letting your relationships be Spirit-led. Why You Should Listen: This episode isn’t just for those struggling with gender roles in marriage—it’s an invitation for everyone to reflect on what God has called YOU to do. If you’ve ever felt pressured to fit a certain template or questioned your role, you’ll find comfort, inspiration, and practical encouragement here. Quick Links: Pre-order the book:Triedandtruemarriagebook.com Purposeful Quote: “We were created equal in the sight of God. The irrevocable call of God applies to women and men alike.” – Dana Che Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy. I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens—even in marriages that appear “just fine” on the outside. Sometimes it’s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice—five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse. Key Takeaways: Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up) The “big five” behaviors that damage emotional safety—including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love Straightforward actions you can take today—even without a marriage coach—to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected If you’ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage—even if everything looks good on the outside—this episode is for you. I’m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection Want to stay connected all week? Join my email community and get all the good on all things Dana Che. Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain.  If you’re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough. Key Takeaways:  Pressure reveals our hidden potential. Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see  Purpose makes it all worth it  My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!  Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   

From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter. The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage: Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations. Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge. Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set. Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester. Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided. Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.” Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics. Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!  Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict  Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release! Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected

If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected.  Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions. But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds.  Key Takeaways: Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think) Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!  For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

I’m joined by my husband, Shaun, to discuss the sometimes complicated world of gift-giving in a relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself debating with your spouse or partner over how much money you spend on gifts, how much is “too much,” or how to honor each other's money habits, this conversation is for you. Shaun and I get real about our different financial personalities—me as the frugal saver who values experiences over things, and Shaun as the generous giver who believes in creating smiles through thoughtful presents. We share how our upbringings shaped these perspectives and how they lead to “spirited” conversations around the holidays, birthdays, and everyday giving. Key Takeaways: Value and respect each other’s approach to giving Don’t go into debt for holiday gifts—find ways to bless your loved ones within your means Set a simple holiday budget or gift limit to relieve stress Recognize when old money stories (like scarcity thinking) are influencing your present Focus on connection—sometimes a heartfelt note means more than any wrapped package Resources Mentioned in this Episode: My new book, Tried and True, is releasing in January 2026! Get on the list to get your FREE 5-day devotional companion at danache.com/triedandtrue. Still looking for simple ways to build connection with your mate? Get my "Ultimate Couple's Playbook" here.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

It's the most wonderful time of the year—unless your relationship is in trouble. We're taking an honest look at how affection can ebb and flow in your relationship—especially during busy seasons like the holidays. Whether you consider yourself naturally affectionate or not, you'll learn why intentionally nurturing closeness matters for every couple. We're discussing real-life reasons affection can dip, ranging from plain old busyness and fatigue to unresolved wounds and letting family drama in. Plus, you'll hear practical tips to help your relationship not only avoid these "affection dips," but actually grow stronger and more connected in your marriage or relationship—no matter what time of year it is. Key Highlights: Why Affection Dips Signs You’re Losing Connection Intentional Steps for Growth Forgiveness & Healing Family Drama & External Voices Resources Mentioned: Ultimate Couples Guide Get practical tools to strengthen your relationship: danache.com/ultimatecouple Infidelity Intensive Are you dealing with infidelity in your relationship? Get the help you need to recover from betrayal: danache.com/infidelityintensive Episode on Forgiveness: A step-by-step guide inspired by Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu’s “The Book of Forgiving.” Find the episode at Episode 150. Listener Review Spotlight: A longtime listener shares her thoughts on how the Rebuilding Us podcast has helped her and her husband to have more direct and meaningful conversations. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Do you struggling with bouncing back after hardship? Are you often tempted to quit things when they get hard? This episode highlights the critical role of resilience in relationships and personal growth. Resilience isn't just about enduring hardships but also becoming stronger because of them. I introduce the 'Seven Cs of Resilience,' which include competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Listen in as I share personal anecdotes and biblical references to show you how resilience can be developed and applied in various aspects of life, particularly in marriage and relationships. Finally, this episode concludes with a prayer for those struggling to embrace resilience in their lives. Takeaways Resilience is essential for thriving relationships. Resilience can be built through overcoming hardships. How resilience builds character Why authentic connection with others strengthens resilience Why resilience is a learned skill, not an innate trait This episode previously ran in October 2024. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Gratitude isn’t just for the easy, feel-good times in your marriage. In this episode, we discuss how to practice real thankfulness—especially when things feel tense, unresolved, or even painful—and some simple, down-to-earth ways to reframe complaints into thanks and spot those tiny moments of hope. If you and your spouse are feeling disconnected or just need a little perspective shift, you’ll find encouragement and super practical advice to help you rebuild, reconnect, and start seeing the good even when life gets messy. Key Takeaways: Real vs. Superficial Gratitude: Gratitude is more than mere positivity or “Instagram thankfulness.” Find gratitude that heals. Why Gratitude Matters in Hard Seasons: Even when it feels like your relationship is "a dumpster fire,” you can intentionally seek out the little things worthy of appreciation. Complaints Reveal Needs: Instead of shaming negative feelings, complaints often signal unmet emotional needs.  A Practical Reframing Exercise: A step-by-step practice to move from complaints to gratitude Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Take the How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz Need marriage coaching? Join Covenant Connections Heal from betrayal with my Infidelity Intensive Program Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

I know p*rn isn't a topic that we like to discuss. It brings guilt, embarrassment, pain, and shame. But it's a topic we MUST discuss if we want to have authentic and whole relationships. Parents, your kids are looking at it. Wives, your husbands have it on their phones. Husbands, your wives are secretly into it. Of course, not all, but the numbers are staggering within both faith-based and secular realms. So we're talking about it.  I invited Sathiya Sam back on the podcast (he was a guest four years ago) because he's the real deal. He's got a personal story of being chained to p*rn for many years before he finally got free. And so can you (or the person you love). Parents, listen to this conversation with your children (both boys and girls!) I'll be listening to it with mine. Together, we can bring this conversation out of the dark and into the light so all who want freedom can get free.  Sathiya shares his personal journey and insights on healing from shame and building emotional regulation. Though women engage in p*rn too, Sathiya feels a burden for men, and so together, we unpack the root causes behind the struggles that affect men, women, and the impact on marriages and families. Sathiya also shares practical steps for how to have open communication both at home and in faith communities. Listeners will find hope, resources, and real-world strategies for supporting themselves and loved ones in breaking free from p*rn and restoring authentic connection in their relationships. Resources mentioned in this episode: Man Within Podcast: Find over 1,000 episodes of practical insights for men at Man Within Podcast. Free Book – The Last Relapse: Get Sathiya Sam's free book and learn more about the Deep Clean system at thelastrelapsebook.com. How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz: Dana Che's free resource to gauge connectivity in your relationship: danache.com/partnerquiz. Recover from Infidelity  Learn about Dana Che's program, Infidelity Intensive.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

In this special episode, you'll learn how to heal your broken heart and rebuild your marriage after infidelity. Many affair-recovery programs are run by those who never experienced infidelity first-hand. Not this one. I share candidly and compassionately our story of how infidelity ransacked our marriage and how we overcame it. If you're feeling embarrassed, ashamed, isolated, or abandoned, you don't have to be. You need a guide to get to where you want to go. I am your guide. Infidelity Intensive is your solution. Learn more about Infidelity Intensive and get started today at danache.com/infidelityintensive.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Brenda Kennison is back for part two, diving deeper into her remarkable journey of transformation. After hitting rock bottom in the public eye, Brenda rewired her mindset and found true freedom from alcoholism, another failed marriage, and depression. Brenda shares how neuroplasticity and faith worked together to reshape her emotional and spiritual health, shifting her from toxic cycles to a place of healing and healthy relationships. Discover how changing your thoughts really can change your life, especially within your relationships and marriage. You’ll hear practical steps for rewiring the brain, building healthy habits, and breaking free from damaging labels and generational patterns. Plus, Brenda gets real about her own journey through multiple marriages, finding lasting love, and becoming a champion for emotional and spiritual transformation. If you’re ready to take the first step toward real change, this episode will give you the inspiration and tools you need. Dive in for a raw and encouraging conversation about what’s possible when you allow God and practical mindset work to reshape your story! What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Is Alcoholism a Disease? Brenda Kennison shares why she no longer views alcoholism as a disease, and how shifting this perspective empowered her to break free from addiction.  The Power of Neuroplasticity and Scripture: Brenda explains how neuroscience and spiritual truth come together to help rewire the brain. Discover practical ways to “take every thought captive.”  Marriage, Divorce, and Personal Growth: Learn how Brenda’s struggle with perfectionism, shame, and unhealed wounds deeply impacted her first three marriages.  How Unhealed Thoughts Impact Relationships: Brenda offers a practical exercise to help listeners identify how they are currently “showing up” in life: through emotions, behaviors, bodily sensations, and perspectives.  Building a Better Marriage Through Communication: Hear how Brenda and her husband learned to communicate across their differences and love each other according to their unique love languages.  Practical Steps to Rewire Your Brain: Get Brenda’s three-step process of awareness, action, and accountability to transform negative thinking and habits.  Resources Mentioned: Day One of Sobriety Podcast & Ministry – dayoneofsobriety.org How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz by Dana Che Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Brenda Kennison is a certified neuro cycle facilitator and founder of Day One of Sobriety Ministries. She shared her raw, powerful journey from rock bottom—battling addiction, depression, a foiled suicide attempt, and the pain of divorce—to discovering hope, healing, and transformation through science and faith. Brenda Kennison’s story is a reminder that our lowest moments can become the launching pad for lasting change. If you’re ready to renew your mind and rebuild your life, you don’t want to miss this episode! Key Highlights Resilience After Rock Bottom Brenda shares how being publicly exposed and humiliated drove her to seek the help she desperately needed and began her healing journey. Cultural Stigmas & Seeking Help Brenda’s story reveals the deep stigmas around addiction, especially for educators, and the importance of honest conversations and community support. Faith Meets Brain Science The intersection of biblical truth and neuroscience became Brenda’s pathway to true and lasting transformation, challenging the lie that mental health struggles are an unchangeable destiny. The Power of Community Brenda credits a loving church community and a pivotal friend (Becky) whose prayers literally helped save her life, emphasizing that transformation requires surrounding yourself with people who see and support you. Redefining Sobriety Brenda expands the definition of sobriety, describing it as a “calm, sound, and disciplined mind rooted in Christ,” inviting listeners to pursue wholeness even if addiction isn’t their specific battle. Generational Healing & Legacy The conversation touches on breaking generational cycles, finding worth beyond achievement, and providing emotional stability for the next generation. Resources Mentioned Brenda’s Website & Podcast: dayoneofsobriety.org Take the "How Connected Are You as a Partner" Quiz  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Bestselling author and comedian KevonStage and his wife, Melissa, hosted a podcast called Marriage Be Hard. But what if we could make marriage easier? Marriage can be hard—but it doesn’t have to feel impossible. In today’s episode, I sat down with Arlene Pellicane, bestselling author of “Marriage Made Easier.” We dove into the real reasons why marriages struggle and discussed how putting in the right kind of effort can transform your relationship from mundane to meaningful. If you want practical, down-to-earth habits for building a joyful, lasting connection, this episode is a must-listen. Check out the full conversation for actionable ways to rebuild and strengthen your marriage, starting today! Key Topics & Takeaways Finding the Joy of Marriage: Arlene shares her own positive marriage experience and the importance of fighting for happiness, not just happiness for yourself, but as a shared mission. Making Marriage Fun Again: Both Arlene and I discuss how couples can rekindle fun and playfulness in their relationships, from date nights to shared hobbies—emphasizing that planned fun is spiritual and necessary. Effort Over Easy: Marriage isn’t just hard—it’s effort. Just like running a business, great marriages require a plan, intentionality, and regular investment. Deciding Values in Advance: Arlene advocates for establishing core habits early—like shared meals, device-free table time, and daily rituals—that create connection and security in both marriage and family life. Serving When It’s One-Sided: For those feeling alone in their effort, Arlene offers encouragement rooted in faith, reminding listeners that their unseen acts are meaningful and seen by God, even when a spouse doesn’t notice. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Connect with Arlene’s podcast, "Happy Home Podcast," and purchase her book at Marriage Made Easier  "How Connected Are You?" Take my free and fun quiz to determine your relationship's true connection at danache.com/partnerquiz  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!