How to Know When It’s Time to Divorce


In this episode, we are discussing the difficult topic of divorce. Although I am pro-marriage through and through, there are times, sadly, when divorce may need to occur: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addiction. While divorce is never easy, sometimes it is the only option left for individuals to protect themselves and their families. We explore each of these situations and provide information on how to recognize when it may be time to consider divorce.
When to Divorce: Abuse


Abuse can come in many forms, including physical, emotional, and verbal. It is important to recognize the signs of abuse and know when it is time to seek help. I do not believe a marriage can be saved when there is physical abuse present. I always advise individuals to seek help and safety if they are being physically abused. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached 24 hours a day at 800-799-7233. 

We also address the common misconceptions surrounding abuse and why leaving an abusive relationship is often the best course of action. Emotional abuse is different. I believe couples need to seek therapeutic help to determine if mental illness is a factor or if a spouse is simply being mean or a jerk. This is tricky, because all abuse is harmful, but not all cases of emotional verbal abuse warrant divorce. 


Should We Divorce Because of Adultery


Adultery can be devastating to a marriage and can leave individuals feeling hurt, rejected, and betrayed. No matter why the infidelity happened, the betrayed spouse needs to know it was not his/her fault. My marriage story includes our journey from adultery, and in no way was it easy. However, just because a marriage has gone through adultery doesn’t mean it is irretrievably broken. 

Your marriage can heal after adultery. In the Bible, the prophet Malachi issues a strong warning to the men to not treat their wives “treacherously” because God hates divorce (Malachi 2:14-16). Too many have focused on the “God hates divorce” part without considering these verses in their proper context. Divorce, in that time, was “cruelty” to women (verse 16). Women in those days had no way to provide or protect themselves. And since God loves his daughters, he hates divorce. Plus, it violates covenant, and God is serious about covenant.


Is Abandonment a Reason to Divorce


When a spouse walks out on the marriage, it can be devastating. Abandonment isn’t only a painful experience for the spouse who stayed but also any children that might be present. This leads to feelings of loneliness, rejection, and betrayal for those left behind. 

One of the best Scriptures that pertain to this is I Corinthians 7:15: “But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” If a spouse walks out on you, you are not required to go chase down behind them or wait for years for him/her to return. 


Addiction Ruins Families and May Be a Cause to Divorce


Addiction can have a profound impact on a marriage and can cause significant stress and strain on a relationship. Most people agree that addiction is a disease and usually required professional help to overcome. Addiction is messy, and often non-addicted spouses feel guilty for filing for divorce. 

While I do not counsel couples to divorce, I do advise them to see carefully weigh the positives and negatives in their decision to stay with an addicted partner. There must be firm boundaries set in cases where addiction is wrecking a marriage. 



ALSO READ: How to Live with An Addicted Spouse 



Divorce is never an easy decision, but sometimes it is necessary to protect oneself and one's family. In this episode, we explored four common situations that can lead to divorce: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addiction. It is important to remember that seeking help and support is essential during this difficult time. I believe there needs to be a lot of support and wise counsel before one makes the difficult decision to divorce.


Links Mentioned In this Episode 




Episode 6: On the Brink of Divorce to a Different Choice - with Javier and Christina Llerna 

Episode 83: A Marriage Restored After Divorce, Drugs, & Deconstruction - with Chris & Steph Teague 





SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT

To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

How to Know When It’s Time to Divorce
In this episode, we are discussing the difficult topic of divorce. Although I am pro-marriage through and through, there are times, sadly, when divorce may need to occur: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addiction. While divorce is never easy, sometimes it is the only option left for individuals to protect themselves and their families. We explore each of these situations and provide information on how to recognize when it may be time to consider divorce.
When to Divorce: Abuse
Abuse can come in many forms, including physical, emotional, and verbal. It is important to recognize the signs of abuse and know when it is time to seek help. I do not believe a marriage can be saved when there is physical abuse present. I always advise individuals to seek help and safety if they are being physically abused. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached 24 hours a day at 800-799-7233. 
We also address the common misconceptions surrounding abuse and why leaving an abusive relationship is often the best course of action. Emotional abuse is different. I believe couples need to seek therapeutic help to determine if mental illness is a factor or if a spouse is simply being mean or a jerk. This is tricky, because all abuse is harmful, but not all cases of emotional verbal abuse warrant divorce. 
 
Should We Divorce Because of Adultery
Adultery can be devastating to a marriage and can leave individuals feeling hurt, rejected, and betrayed. No matter why the infidelity happened, the betrayed spouse needs to know it was not his/her fault. My marriage story includes our journey from adultery, and in no way was it easy. However, just because a marriage has gone through adultery doesn’t mean it is irretrievably broken. 
Your marriage can heal after adultery. In the Bible, the prophet Malachi issues a strong warning to the men to not treat their wives “treacherously” because God hates divorce (Malachi 2:14-16). Too many have focused on the “God hates divorce” part without considering these verses in their proper context. Divorce, in that time, was “cruelty” to women (verse 16). Women in those days had no way to provide or protect themselves. And since God loves his daughters, he hates divorce. Plus, it violates covenant, and God is serious about covenant.
 
Is Abandonment a Reason to Divorce
When a spouse walks out on the marriage, it can be devastating. Abandonment isn’t only a painful experience for the spouse who stayed but also any children that might be present. This leads to feelings of loneliness, rejection, and betrayal for those left behind. 
One of the best Scriptures that pertain to this is I Corinthians 7:15: “But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” If a spouse walks out on you, you are not required to go chase down behind them or wait for years for him/her to return. 
 
Addiction Ruins Families and May Be a Cause to Divorce
Addiction can have a profound impact on a marriage and can cause significant stress and strain on a relationship. Most people agree that addiction is a disease and usually required professional help to overcome. Addiction is messy, and often non-addicted spouses feel guilty for filing for divorce. 
While I do not counsel couples to divorce, I do advise them to see carefully weigh the positives and negatives in their decision to stay with an addicted partner. There must be firm boundaries set in cases where addiction is wrecking a marriage. 
 
<a href='https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/married-to-a-drug-addict'>ALSO READ: How to Live with An Addicted Spouse </a>
 
Divorce is never an easy decision, but sometimes it is necessary to protect oneself and one's family. In this episode, we explored four common situations that can lead to divorce: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addiction. It is important to remember that seeking help and support is essential during this difficult time. I believe there needs to be a lot of support and wise counsel before one makes the difficult decision to divorce.
 
Links Mentioned In this Episode 
 
<a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/on-the-brink-of-divorce-to-a-breakthrough-by-choice-the-value-of-a-faithful-marriage-community-with-javier-and-christina-llerena-2/'>Episode 6: On the Brink of Divorce to a Different Choice - with Javier and Christina Llerna </a>
<a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/83-a-marriage-restored-after-divorce-drugs-deconstruction-with-out-of-the-dusts-chris-steph-teague/'>Episode 83: A Marriage Restored After Divorce, Drugs, & Deconstruction - with Chris & Steph Teague </a>
 
 
SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT
To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-relationship-talk/id1528234628'>Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href='https://podcasts.google.com/search/real%252520relationship%252520talk'>Google Play</a>, <a href='https://open.spotify.com/show/3c4eI4A4bDw7rrHCZbiEzb'>Spotify</a>, <a href='https://www.stitcher.com/show/real-relationship-talk'>Stitcher</a>, <a href='https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-real-relationship-talk-70625882/'>iHeart Radio</a>, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

Get Dana's latest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
Get Dana's latest book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>,&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Struggling with communication problems or broken trust in your relationship? Rebuilding Us is your weekly marriage podcast providing the tools and encouragement you need to overcome emotional hurt, rediscover the love you once shared, and rebuild your connection.

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren’t built by avoiding hard seasons—they’re built by learning how to move through them well.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

And be sure to get Dana's new book  Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren&rsquo;t built by avoiding hard seasons&mdash;they&rsquo;re built by learning how to move through them well.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
And be sure to get Dana's new book &nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

How to Know When It’s Time to Divorce
In this episode, we are discussing the difficult topic of divorce. Although I am pro-marriage through and through, there are times, sadly, when divorce may need to occur: abuse, adultery, abandonment, and addicti...