Let’s be honest—just because we grew up and got married doesn’t mean we left our triggers at the playground. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless game of emotional Whac-A-Mole. In today’s episode, I’m unpacking the hidden childhood triggers that sneak into our marriages, those moments when a look or a phrase sends us spiraling back—defenses up, ready to fight, flee, or freeze. But surely there's a better way.

Here’s what we dig into:


Unpacking Childhood Baggage
We talk about why seemingly harmless comments from our spouse can unleash a flood of old wounds, and how those reactions aren’t just “sensitivity”—they’re well-worn ruts of our childhood stories.


Scarcity Mindset in Marriage
What happens when our knee-jerk belief is that there’s “not enough”—not enough love, attention, or security? I’ll confess the ways scarcity thinking creeps into my own marriage, and the choices I made, both emotional and practical, have started shifting our connection.


Faith and the Hard Work of Healing
Yep, we’re going there. I unpack where faith gets tangled up with those painful places—and why it matters. We talk about inviting God into the ugly-beautiful mess, not just the Instagrammable moments, and why radical honesty is sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do.


Steps Toward Healing—Without Pretending It’s Easy
This isn’t about quick fixes or pretending your marriage is something it’s not. We’ll get real about weariness. About losing hope. About showing up anyway and trying one more time. Because that’s where real change starts: not with grand gestures, but with brave, small choices over time.

Links & Resources:


Take my free quiz: How Connected a Partner Are You?


Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples


Recommended episode: “Unpacking Triggers, Strongholds, & Inner Healing - with Frank Meadows”
Support the Show: Your giving makes a difference!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Let&rsquo;s be honest&mdash;just because we grew up and got married doesn&rsquo;t mean we left our triggers at the playground. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless game of emotional Whac-A-Mole. In today&rsquo;s episode, I&rsquo;m unpacking the hidden childhood triggers that sneak into our marriages, those moments when a look or a phrase sends us spiraling back&mdash;defenses up, ready to fight, flee, or freeze. But surely there's a better way.
Here&rsquo;s what we dig into:
<ul>
<li>
Unpacking Childhood Baggage We talk about why seemingly harmless comments from our spouse can unleash a flood of old wounds, and how those reactions aren&rsquo;t just &ldquo;sensitivity&rdquo;&mdash;they&rsquo;re well-worn ruts of our childhood stories.
</li>
<li>
Scarcity Mindset in Marriage What happens when our knee-jerk belief is that there&rsquo;s &ldquo;not enough&rdquo;&mdash;not enough love, attention, or security? I&rsquo;ll confess the ways scarcity thinking creeps into my own marriage, and the choices I made, both emotional and practical, have started shifting our connection.
</li>
<li>
Faith and the Hard Work of Healing Yep, we&rsquo;re going there. I unpack where faith gets tangled up with those painful places&mdash;and why it matters. We talk about inviting God into the ugly-beautiful mess, not just the Instagrammable moments, and why radical honesty is sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do.
</li>
<li>
Steps Toward Healing&mdash;Without Pretending It&rsquo;s Easy This isn&rsquo;t about quick fixes or pretending your marriage is something it&rsquo;s not. We&rsquo;ll get real about weariness. About losing hope. About showing up anyway and trying one more time. Because that&rsquo;s where real change starts: not with grand gestures, but with brave, small choices over time.
</li>
</ul>
Links &amp; Resources:
<ul>
<li>
Take my free quiz: <a href="https://danache.com/partnerquiz">How Connected a Partner Are You?</a>
</li>
<li>
Get my new book: <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>
</li>
<li>
Recommended episode: <a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/346-unpacking-triggers-strongholds-inner-healing-with-frank-meadows/">&ldquo;Unpacking Triggers, Strongholds, &amp; Inner Healing - with Frank Meadows&rdquo;</a>
</li>
<li>Support the Show:&nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/">Your giving makes a difference!</a></li>
</ul>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast for couples seeking relatable marriage advice, biblical encouragement, and real hope. With her signature no-nonsense approach, marriage coach and author Dana Che brings truth and grace to the hard conversations couples often avoid—while weaving in just enough humor to make the heavy topics feel a little lighter. Each episode helps couples rebuild trust, improve communication, restore intimacy, heal after infidelity, and reconnect emotionally and spiritually.

Through honest conversations, real-life stories, faith-filled wisdom, and practical relationship tools, Dana offers a clear approach to navigating conflict, betrayal, disappointment, and disconnection—without shame, clichés, or unrealistic expectations.

Whether you are recovering from infidelity, strengthening an already-good marriage, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast will help you create a healthier, more connected, Christ-centered relationship.

New episodes are released every Tuesday. Follow Rebuilding Us and begin your journey from conflict to connection.

Let the rebuild begin!

Get Dana's latest book Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast for couples seeking relatable marriage advice, biblical encouragement, and real hope. With her signature no-nonsense approach, marriage coach and author Dana Che brings truth and grace to the hard conversations couples often avoid&mdash;while weaving in just enough humor to make the heavy topics feel a little lighter. Each episode helps couples rebuild trust, improve communication, restore intimacy, heal after infidelity, and reconnect emotionally and spiritually.
Through honest conversations, real-life stories, faith-filled wisdom, and practical relationship tools, Dana offers a clear approach to navigating conflict, betrayal, disappointment, and disconnection&mdash;without shame, clich&eacute;s, or unrealistic expectations.
Whether you are recovering from infidelity, strengthening an already-good marriage, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast will help you create a healthier, more connected, Christ-centered relationship.
New episodes are released every Tuesday. Follow&nbsp;Rebuilding Us and begin your journey from conflict to connection.
Let the rebuild begin!
Get Dana's latest book <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Let’s be honest—just because we grew up and got married doesn’t mean we left our triggers at the playground.

Healing Old Triggers that Hijack Your Marriage

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/52859ef2-22bc-4509-883e-b4a2014324ac/transcript