Let’s be honest—just because we grew up and got married doesn’t mean we left our triggers at the playground. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless game of emotional Whac-A-Mole. In today’s episode, I’m unpacking the hidden childhood triggers that sneak into our marriages, those moments when a look or a phrase sends us spiraling back—defenses up, ready to fight, flee, or freeze. But surely there's a better way.

Here’s what we dig into:


Unpacking Childhood Baggage
We talk about why seemingly harmless comments from our spouse can unleash a flood of old wounds, and how those reactions aren’t just “sensitivity”—they’re well-worn ruts of our childhood stories.


Scarcity Mindset in Marriage
What happens when our knee-jerk belief is that there’s “not enough”—not enough love, attention, or security? I’ll confess the ways scarcity thinking creeps into my own marriage, and the choices I made, both emotional and practical, have started shifting our connection.


Faith and the Hard Work of Healing
Yep, we’re going there. I unpack where faith gets tangled up with those painful places—and why it matters. We talk about inviting God into the ugly-beautiful mess, not just the Instagrammable moments, and why radical honesty is sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do.


Steps Toward Healing—Without Pretending It’s Easy
This isn’t about quick fixes or pretending your marriage is something it’s not. We’ll get real about weariness. About losing hope. About showing up anyway and trying one more time. Because that’s where real change starts: not with grand gestures, but with brave, small choices over time.

Links & Resources:


Take my free quiz: How Connected a Partner Are You?


Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples


Recommended episode: “Unpacking Triggers, Strongholds, & Inner Healing - with Frank Meadows”
Support the Show: Your giving makes a difference!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Let&rsquo;s be honest&mdash;just because we grew up and got married doesn&rsquo;t mean we left our triggers at the playground. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless game of emotional Whac-A-Mole. In today&rsquo;s episode, I&rsquo;m unpacking the hidden childhood triggers that sneak into our marriages, those moments when a look or a phrase sends us spiraling back&mdash;defenses up, ready to fight, flee, or freeze. But surely there's a better way.
Here&rsquo;s what we dig into:
<ul>
<li>
Unpacking Childhood Baggage We talk about why seemingly harmless comments from our spouse can unleash a flood of old wounds, and how those reactions aren&rsquo;t just &ldquo;sensitivity&rdquo;&mdash;they&rsquo;re well-worn ruts of our childhood stories.
</li>
<li>
Scarcity Mindset in Marriage What happens when our knee-jerk belief is that there&rsquo;s &ldquo;not enough&rdquo;&mdash;not enough love, attention, or security? I&rsquo;ll confess the ways scarcity thinking creeps into my own marriage, and the choices I made, both emotional and practical, have started shifting our connection.
</li>
<li>
Faith and the Hard Work of Healing Yep, we&rsquo;re going there. I unpack where faith gets tangled up with those painful places&mdash;and why it matters. We talk about inviting God into the ugly-beautiful mess, not just the Instagrammable moments, and why radical honesty is sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do.
</li>
<li>
Steps Toward Healing&mdash;Without Pretending It&rsquo;s Easy This isn&rsquo;t about quick fixes or pretending your marriage is something it&rsquo;s not. We&rsquo;ll get real about weariness. About losing hope. About showing up anyway and trying one more time. Because that&rsquo;s where real change starts: not with grand gestures, but with brave, small choices over time.
</li>
</ul>
Links &amp; Resources:
<ul>
<li>
Take my free quiz: <a href="https://danache.com/partnerquiz">How Connected a Partner Are You?</a>
</li>
<li>
Get my new book: <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>
</li>
<li>
Recommended episode: <a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/346-unpacking-triggers-strongholds-inner-healing-with-frank-meadows/">&ldquo;Unpacking Triggers, Strongholds, &amp; Inner Healing - with Frank Meadows&rdquo;</a>
</li>
<li>Support the Show:&nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/">Your giving makes a difference!</a></li>
</ul>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

Get Dana's latest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
Get Dana's latest book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>,&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Struggling with communication problems or broken trust in your relationship? Rebuilding Us is your weekly marriage podcast providing the tools and encouragement you need to overcome emotional hurt, rediscover the love you once shared, and rebuild your connection.

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren’t built by avoiding hard seasons—they’re built by learning how to move through them well.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

And be sure to get Dana's new book  Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren&rsquo;t built by avoiding hard seasons&mdash;they&rsquo;re built by learning how to move through them well.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
And be sure to get Dana's new book &nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Let’s be honest—just because we grew up and got married doesn’t mean we left our triggers at the playground.

Healing Old Triggers that Hijack Your Marriage

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/52859ef2-22bc-4509-883e-b4a2014324ac/transcript