Finding Love Without Losing Yourself (Single AF Series) – with Mandy Hale




For singles looking for love, the dating scene can be a doozy. Online dating is at an all-time high, and while many singles are out here interviewing spouses, others are quite content in “situationships” that lead to nowhere. The Single Woman, herself, Mandy Hale is on the podcast today and wants to help you singles to find love without losing yourself. Her latest book, Don’t Believe the Swipe: Finding Love Without Losing Yourself isn’t just a dating manual; it’s a self-love manual for single people. Mandy is a New York Times Best-Selling author and social media powerhouse. She has appeared on Oprah’s Lifeclass Tour, spoken at Women of Faith and TD Jake’s Woman Thou Art Loosed!



Mandy shares candid dating stories that will leave you bewildered at the brazenness of some of her suitors. But she seems to take it all in stride. She’s been doing this dating thing long enough to know that not every connection is a love connection, and she’s okay with that. Mandy reminds us that dating is supposed to be fun; it’s supposed to be a way of learning about people and yourself. Thus, she knows how to help singles recover from the constant pressure of what she calls “the swipe.”


Don’t Believe the Swipe


Mandy explains that the swipe is the incessant pressure put on singles to measure their worth by their relationship status. If a single woman is worried about why she isn’t being matched with more people on the online dating apps, or if a single man is focused on the next woman while in a relationship with someone else, they’re believing the swipe. Dating can be very superficial, and singles can find themselves getting too caught up in their heads, wondering why they’re being ghosted or rejected. They can internalize other people’s reactions to the point of beginning to feel negative about themselves.



Dating isn’t just about being matched with someone. It’s about learning to love yourself and being confident in who you are. That’s what finding love without losing yourself is all about.


Reclaiming the Joy of the Single Life


We’ve talked about finding joy in the single life on other podcast episodes, namely the episode on In-Between Relationships. There is nothing wrong with being single. Not. One. Thing. Instead of constantly searching for “the one,” Mandy encourages singles to focus on being the one, but not for someone else. Be the one for you. Enjoy this stage of your life. Cherish it. The Apostle Paul says in I Corinthians 7:7, “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others” (The Message).



Churches can help singles to feel more comfortable and connected, and both Many and I had some great ways to make this happen.


The Intimidation Factor


If you are a successful, confident, single woman, you’ve maybe heard a man tell you that you’re “intimidating.” Mandy dedicates and entire chapter in her book to this topic, and we also addressed it at length on the podcast. In a nutshell, a guy telling a girl she’s intimidating is an excuse. “If a guy is truly meant for you, nothing is going to be able to keep him away,” Mandy says. With that in mind, it should take some of the pressure off of finding love. Ladies, you are not too much. You do not need to dumb yourself down, dim your light, or commit any other acts of sacrifice against yourself. If a man can’t handle your awesomeness, tell him to keep it moving.



This was a great conversation with Mandy, and I’m grateful to have had her on the show!


Notable Moments in the Podcast




[9:15]: An in-depth definition of “the swipe”



[15:25]: Instead of asking if he/she likes you, do you even like him/her?



[20:42]: Finding joy in the single life



[23:04]: How churches can do better at celebrating single people



[28:29]: The myth of the intimidation factor



[36:20]: What keeps a man away if he’s into you



[37:00]: Some modern dating definitions


Links Mentioned in this Episode




Mandy Hale’s Website



Follow Mandy (@TheSingleWoman) on Instagram and Twitter



Purchase Mandy’s Book: Don’t Believe the Swipe: Finding Love Without Losing Yourself



Register for My Upcoming Boundaries Workshop





SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT

To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

Finally, please leave a rating and a comment on Apple Podcasts to let me know how this podcast is helping you and your relationships. I’m always open to guest suggestions and how I can make the show even better!

Finding Love Without Losing Yourself (Single AF Series) – with Mandy Hale
 
For singles looking for love, the dating scene can be a doozy. Online dating is at an all-time high, and while many singles are out here interviewing spouses, others are quite content in “situationships” that lead to nowhere. The Single Woman, herself, Mandy Hale is on the podcast today and wants to help you singles to find love without losing yourself. Her latest book, Don’t Believe the Swipe: Finding Love Without Losing Yourself isn’t just a dating manual; it’s a self-love manual for single people. Mandy is a New York Times Best-Selling author and social media powerhouse. She has appeared on Oprah’s Lifeclass Tour, spoken at Women of Faith and TD Jake’s Woman Thou Art Loosed!
 
Mandy shares candid dating stories that will leave you bewildered at the brazenness of some of her suitors. But she seems to take it all in stride. She’s been doing this dating thing long enough to know that not every connection is a love connection, and she’s okay with that. Mandy reminds us that dating is supposed to be fun; it’s supposed to be a way of learning about people and yourself. Thus, she knows how to help singles recover from the constant pressure of what she calls “the swipe.”
 
Don’t Believe the Swipe
Mandy explains that the swipe is the incessant pressure put on singles to measure their worth by their relationship status. If a single woman is worried about why she isn’t being matched with more people on the online dating apps, or if a single man is focused on the next woman while in a relationship with someone else, they’re believing the swipe. Dating can be very superficial, and singles can find themselves getting too caught up in their heads, wondering why they’re being ghosted or rejected. They can internalize other people’s reactions to the point of beginning to feel negative about themselves.
 
Dating isn’t just about being matched with someone. It’s about learning to love yourself and being confident in who you are. That’s what finding love without losing yourself is all about.
 
Reclaiming the Joy of the Single Life
We’ve talked about finding joy in the single life on other podcast episodes, namely the episode on <a href='https://realrelationshiptalk.com/34-in-between-relationships-becoming-confident-gaining-clarity-single-af-series-with-videllia-and-melissa/'>In-Between Relationships</a>. There is nothing wrong with being single. Not. One. Thing. Instead of constantly searching for “the one,” Mandy encourages singles to focus on being the one, but not for someone else. Be the one for you. Enjoy this stage of your life. Cherish it. The Apostle Paul says in I Corinthians 7:7, “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others” (The Message).
 
Churches can help singles to feel more comfortable and connected, and both Many and I had some great ways to make this happen.
 
The Intimidation Factor
If you are a successful, confident, single woman, you’ve maybe heard a man tell you that you’re “intimidating.” Mandy dedicates and entire chapter in her book to this topic, and we also addressed it at length on the podcast. In a nutshell, a guy telling a girl she’s intimidating is an excuse. “If a guy is truly meant for you, nothing is going to be able to keep him away,” Mandy says. With that in mind, it should take some of the pressure off of finding love. Ladies, you are not too much. You do not need to dumb yourself down, dim your light, or commit any other acts of sacrifice against yourself. If a man can’t handle your awesomeness, tell him to keep it moving.
 
This was a great conversation with Mandy, and I’m grateful to have had her on the show!
 
Notable Moments in the Podcast
 
[9:15]: An in-depth definition of “the swipe”
 
[15:25]: Instead of asking if he/she likes you, do you even like him/her?
 
[20:42]: Finding joy in the single life
 
[23:04]: How churches can do better at celebrating single people
 
[28:29]: The myth of the intimidation factor
 
[36:20]: What keeps a man away if he’s into you
 
[37:00]: Some modern dating definitions
 
Links Mentioned in this Episode
 
<a href='http://mandyhale.com/'>Mandy Hale’s Website</a>
 
Follow Mandy (@TheSingleWoman) on <a href='http://instagram.com/thesinglewoman'>Instagram</a> and <a href='http://twitter.com/thesinglewoman'>Twitter</a>
 
Purchase Mandy’s Book: <a href='https://mandyhale.com/books/'>Don’t Believe the Swipe: Finding Love Without Losing Yourself</a>
 
Register for My Upcoming <a href='http://danache.com/workshops'>Boundaries Workshop</a>
 
 
SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT
To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-relationship-talk/id1528234628'>Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href='https://podcasts.google.com/search/real%20relationship%20talk'>Google Play</a>, <a href='https://open.spotify.com/show/3c4eI4A4bDw7rrHCZbiEzb'>Spotify</a>, <a href='https://www.stitcher.com/show/real-relationship-talk'>Stitcher</a>, <a href='https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-real-relationship-talk-70625882/'>iHeart Radio</a>, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.
Finally, please leave a rating and a comment on <a href='https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-relationship-talk/id1528234628'>Apple Podcasts</a> to let me know how this podcast is helping you and your relationships. I’m always open to guest suggestions and how I can make the show even better!

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

Get Dana's latest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
Get Dana's latest book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>,&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again—even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?

Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope—and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.

After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren’t built by avoiding hard seasons—they’re built by learning how to move through them well.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and what it takes to move forward.

Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid—or unsure how—to have.

You’ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.

Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.

But broken doesn’t have to mean beyond repair. We’re rebuilding what life tried to break.

Welcome to Rebuilding Us. 

And be sure to get Dana's new book  Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Ever wonder if your marriage can feel close and alive again&mdash;even after disappointment, disconnection, or broken trust?
Rebuilding Us is a Christian marriage podcast featuring honest conversations about marriage, connection, and faith. Hosted by relationship expert, speaker, and author Dana Che, each episode provides biblical relationship advice and practical tools for couples who want deep, authentic connection and real hope&mdash;and enough humor to make the hard conversations a little easier.
After 27 years of marriage, Dana knows that strong relationships aren&rsquo;t built by avoiding hard seasons&mdash;they&rsquo;re built by learning how to move through them well.
Whether you&rsquo;re struggling with communication, recurring conflict, emotional distance, rebuilding trust, infidelity, or simply wanting a deeper connection with your spouse, Rebuilding Us will help you understand what&rsquo;s really happening beneath the surface&mdash;and what it takes to move forward.
Through solo teaching, real-life stories, and conversations with insightful guests, Dana brings warmth, wisdom, candor, and humor to the conversations couples are often afraid&mdash;or unsure how&mdash;to have.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to move from conflict to connection, rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, and grow together through every season of marriage.
Because relationships can get messy. Trust can be broken. Connection can fade.
But broken doesn&rsquo;t have to mean beyond repair. We&rsquo;re rebuilding what life tried to break.
Welcome to Rebuilding Us.&nbsp;
And be sure to get Dana's new book &nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;

Finding Love Without Losing Yourself (Single AF Series) – with Mandy Hale
 
For singles looking for love, the dating scene can be a doozy. Online dating is at an all-time high, and while many singles are out here interviewing spouses, others are quit...