Today's episode is like a master's course on communication in relationships. We're breaking down Dr. John Gottman’s famous concept of the “Four Horsemen” — four destructive communication habits that can quietly ruin even the strongest relationships if left unchecked.

Drawing inspiration from the dramatic imagery of the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Gottman identifies Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling as the signs that a relationship is headed for disaster. But here’s the good news: each horseman has an antidote — and today, I’ll show you exactly how to use them.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in repetitive conflicts, silent stand-offs, or resentment, this episode is your roadmap to break the cycle and rebuild trust, respect, and connection — one conversation at a time.

Key Takeaways:
✅ The Four Horsemen explained: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling
✅ How to recognize them in your marriage or relationship
✅ Proven antidotes to each destructive habit
✅ Encouragement to transform conflict into connection

🔗 Resources Mentioned:


Dr. John Gottman’s research on the Four Horsemen


Free guide: How to Become "The Ultimate Couple"


Related episode: It’s Not You, It’s Me — The Power of “I” Statements

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Today's episode is like a master's course on communication in relationships. We're breaking down Dr. John Gottman&rsquo;s famous concept of the &ldquo;Four Horsemen&rdquo; &mdash; four destructive communication habits that can quietly ruin even the strongest relationships if left unchecked.
Drawing inspiration from the dramatic imagery of the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Gottman identifies Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling as the signs that a relationship is headed for disaster. But here&rsquo;s the good news: each horseman has an antidote &mdash; and today, I&rsquo;ll show you exactly how to use them.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt stuck in repetitive conflicts, silent stand-offs, or resentment, this episode is your roadmap to break the cycle and rebuild trust, respect, and connection &mdash; one conversation at a time.
Key Takeaways: ✅ The Four Horsemen explained: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling ✅ How to recognize them in your marriage or relationship ✅ Proven antidotes to each destructive habit ✅ Encouragement to transform conflict into connection
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
<ul data-start="1630" data-end="1807">
<li data-start="1630" data-end="1682">
<a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/">Dr. John Gottman&rsquo;s research on the Four Horsemen</a>
</li>
<li data-start="1683" data-end="1734">
<a href="https://danache.com/ultimatecouple">Free guide: How to Become "The Ultimate Couple"</a>
</li>
<li data-start="1735" data-end="1807">
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/358-stop-pointing-fingers-shifting-blame-try-i-statements-instead-sweet-repeat/">Related episode: It&rsquo;s Not You, It&rsquo;s Me &mdash; The Power of &ldquo;I&rdquo; Statements</a>
</li>
</ul>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Today's episode is like a master's course on communication in relationships. We're breaking down Dr. John Gottman’s famous concept of the “Four Horsemen” — four destructive communication habits that can quietly ruin even the strongest relationships if left unchecked.