A lot going on. I posted something on Instagram which was effectively like a manifesto. If you remember in uh Jerry Maguire, he kind of just had like a mission statement, and some people in the comments after what I wrote said what happened, and truthfully, nothing happened. I just took stock in some of the things that I say here and on social media, some of the things that I do, and I wanted to kind of own my side in the street and be accountable. I wanted to be accountable because the reality reckoning has been something that I've brought up about the exploitation on reality TV, and it keeps going deeper as I have Rachel on and then I have Ninion and we talk about discrimination, and we talk about women, and we talk about Watch What Happens Live. And I'm a very analytical person, and it really has become very clear in being away from the Housewives for so long, what I really feel about it, and what I really do feel about it, is that it is an environment designed to pit women against each other, for women to rip each other apart. Watch What Happens Live is a show, but in the beginning it has been very successful at having women demoralize each other. And it's very crafty and creative because the way that the show is produced and executed, Andy is the host, and he will ask provocative questions, so he remains clean, but he will ask a provocative question like he recently asked who is the most overrated housewife? It literally is designed just to get someone to trash someone else, So it's always off of him. The stink is always off him, and callers will ask a question of a guest saying, so, Hi, what did you think of when Bethany did that thing? So that person will have to say something bad about Bethany or Nini or Ramona or anyone. And I really don't blame the person sitting in the chair. They are there because they want to promote whatever they're promoting and themselves, and it is a clickbait environment. So the show has been successful on the backs of like one hundred and fifty to one hundred and eighty women that leave that night and then have to live with tweets and articles and hate by bloggers because they will say something provocative and it's never the question that is questioned, it's always the answer that is questioned. The answer and the clickbait comment is always what gets the person into trouble and what has made many many housewives dislike each other without even having met each other, because it perpetuates women gossiping and talking badly about other women for a profit. So one example is that a woman on The New Housewives, which doesn't do well, it gets a couple hundred thousand or like three or four hundred thousand viewers a week and really needs the press. A woman on that show who's not relevant yet, well, who's new. So by definition, you're not that relevant and you're on a show that has ARCD and is on the back end. I mean basically watch what Happens live and The Housewives is like a nightclub at two o'clock in the morning. It basically has peaked, and it's like, you know, at two o'clock in the morning, it's when people's Misscara is running, their eyelashes are coming off of their face, and it gets a little sloppy. And so if you have someone who's on The New York Housewives now in a post successful era, they're gonna want to squeeze that sponge for any amount of liquid they can squeeze it for and you can never blame them. You cannot blame the talent because they need the relevance, the fame. It's why they went on the show. It's why I went on the show yesterday. I did this manifesto and sort of mission statement saying I own my part in the swamp. I was in the middle of the swamp. I capitalized on the swamp and not until I walked away from it for years now. I mean I've left twice, and I walked away from a new show on Bravo last months ago because I just didn't want to be in the environment which was tempting. So I walked away now three times because I realized that I was also gross, and I was gross for even contemplating going back being involved, because I just was making excuses for what this medium was, because I was still capitalizing on the medium, and even going on Watch What Happens Live to promote what I was doing or whatever I was promoting, was still being part of that machine. And so the last time I was there, yes, I went on the show and it was very obvious to the viewers that there was an ambush. And Jeff lewis who I really do like and who I had a nice conversation with about it afterwards, and who I don't blame because he too is talent on the show, trying to make a living, trying to promote what he's promoting, and part of this machine, and he was asked very provocative questions and really came for me, as Andy came for me related to Rewives, a show that is definitely not about bashing people. It's about breaking down episodes of a show that I was part of, of a franchise that I was part of, and relating it to modern day issues. Could be menopause, could be infidelity, could be divorce. And Andy came for me in the media, but as someone who thought they wore his friend on some level. Andy didn't come to me directly to tell me what he thought of the show that I was doing. He went out and talked about it in the media publicly, and I think it boomeranged on him because it was several weeks of bad pr for him in saying that he trashed it. And of course I'm entitled to talk about something that I was as much a part of as he was. He actually never got dirty in it. I actually got dirty in it. So it backfired on him because he became a housewife. He took the bait, and he kind of publicly said something, said several things negative against me, and then he tried to double down on his own show and do it again because it is his own show and he's protected there. It also backfired because the audience thought that he and Jeff had ambushed me. Andy Cohen has built a fortune and bought beach houses on the backs of like one hundred and eighty women. And what I said in my statement was that we get filthy while he remains clean and gets filthy rich, and that maybe I am biting the hand that feeds me, and maybe that hand deserves to be bitten. But most importantly that I have to think about the things that I say and the way that I say them, and I have to find the line between my opinion and the medium machine and what it feeds me, and that I need to err on the side of the human being. So if I'm talking about the Kardashians or Taylor Swift dating or the Royals, I have to err on the side of the human being, and I have to hold back a little. And maybe Neneleak's was right when she said what she said, and she said that she's keeping it seventy five percent because many of the opinions that I form are truly formed because of the media machine and what we are fed by the media machine. And when people say I want to hear your take on X, they're not thinking about how it's going to affect me. And my take on X maybe based on off of clips that I've seen on Instagram and TikTok and read in the paper, and they're designed to provoke, and so I've taken the bait. So I'm taking stock in my own life and the things that I say and the power that I have an influence. And I am changing because i want to be a good example for my daughter. And I'm not going to say whatever I think and feel anymore, not because I'm afraid, but because I'm responsible. And this reality reckoning and my part in reality TV, I'm taking it seriously. It keeps me up at night, and I've opened Pandora's box and I take responsibility for it and I own it, all of it. And when I think about an environment like watch What Happens Live and a housewife being asked a question designed to come for me that was previously discussed in a dressing room A bout me. I don't blame I don't hate the player, I hate the game instead. Andy Cohen is a person who is basically just a crossing guard, directing different people to say bad things about each other and to say things that will be clickbait fodder to live in the media for the next couple of weeks, because otherwise, why would someone who has the benefit of having a talk show ask Oprah Winfrey, one of the most accomplished, intelligent women to ever walk this earth, who could have won the election to be President of the United States. And his big question that he decides to ask her is if she's dipped in the Lady pond or Anderson Cooper his friend who's been to Afghanistan and reported and spent weeks on end in places like Ukraine and been all over the world risking his life, and Andy decides to ask him about a dick pic because Andy is only built to utilize other people to get pressed for himself, and it's worked because it's like that guy on sixth Avenue that moves all of those cups around in circles and you're not really knowing where anything's going, you don't really realize where it's coming from. You don't really realize that when he asks Rayleioda rest in Peace, a question about who is the worst kisser in Rayoda says Sigourney or something about breath or cocaine or something that Andy laughs, and the stink isn't on him. The stink was on Raioda and embarrassing him and getting him to say something that he normally wouldn't have said, and embarrassing Sigourney Weaver, who had nothing to do with it and didn't sign up for any of this and isn't being paid by Bravo or this machine. But the show and the environment is designed for women to bash and trash each other. And I no longer care if you think I'm a hypocrite for saying it, because, in the same way that Kim Kardashian started her career in a sex tape sixteen years ago, I started on The Housewives probably sixteen years ago, and yes I went back, that was probably almost ten years ago. I'm allowed to grow and evolve as a woman, as a mother, as a parent, as a philanthropist. I'm allowed to see the air of my ways on my own, not because anyone told me, not because I got canceled. I make more money now than I did when I was on The Housewives. I make a lot of money by saying what I think. I feel a personal human responsibility to walk the walk and talk the talk, and I had the courage to stand up and start the reality reckoning. So it's going to become very clear in the coming weeks and months what's really happening and what really goes on behind the scenes. And the reason that Andy Cohen can't himself comment and can't himself say that he thinks I'm irrelevant or name me when he says a hypocritical housewife, which I am not a housewife, a term that is from the fifties and also sets women back one hundred years and demoralizes them. I am not a housewife. As a grown woman who has my own career, my own career, my own money, my own philanthropic effort, I'm allowed to say whatever I want, and I can say Andy Cohen's name as many times as I want. But Andy Cohen, because the network that employs him is under tremendous legal siege for more than one hundred people that have been treated unfairly and poorly. So Andy Cohen is not allowed to say anything about me, because I'm sure that his mommy and daddy have told him from NBC that he's not allowed to speak about me. But anytime that Andy Cohen wants to come and talk to me, he's welcome to come and talk on my podcast, because we've talked on many of his vehicles, and I've been used for ratings and for numbers and for clickbait ad nauseum. So he's welcome to come do it here because just in the way that he thought that he was the only person allowed to talk about and exploit the housewives, he's not the only person that has a platform for people to speak on. So he's welcome here anytime to debate me on any aspect of the reality reckoning. And deep down inside he knows that what I'm saying is correct. And I thought I didn't like many of these women. I used to blog about episodes that are edited and produced where women are drinking and exhausted and it's stressful and you've said something you regret and you're in your head and you're on a trip and they make you film every minute of the day on a trip, and then you're exhausted, but you have to do it the next day. And you often feel like if you're not in a scene, they're going to be talking about you. So you then you're drinking because you just want to relax, and you say things that you shouldn't be saying aka Kelly Dodd in Ireland, and you're being pushed alcohol, whether it's not by the whether it's by the producers or by the other castmates. Alcohol seems like a really good idea and it's a recipe for disaster, And then you put yourself on the front lines and you say things that make people despise you because people think that's who you really are. And I used to blog about people on other shows like at Jersey and think certain things about them. But if everything I'm Housewives is not a reflection of who I am by any stretch of the imagination, why would it be a reflection of who they are? And then we're crossing over in the franchise and doing talk shows and saying things about each other based on things that have been said about us. I blog about Teresa, Teresa instantly hates me. Teresa's on a talk show, Andy asks her a question, she says something bad about me. She doesn't even know me. I then say something bad about her. I don't know her, I don't really know. I have never spent time with Nannie until she sat down for several hours at my house and I enjoyed her the way that I would enjoy meeting someone at a business conference or at a cocktail party, and we would start texting and being friends. I used to love Lisa Rina. We were friends. I liked her, I respected her. I thought she was so down to earth and real. When I stopped liking her is when I saw what the machine of the Housewives did to her. I was good friends with Kyle for years. Yes, we went in, we went out, But I felt differently about her after seeing the machine, seeing the social media, seeing how different people react to fame, seeing her differently, seeing how she was portrayed on the show, seeing how she handled the fame. That's not necessarily Kyle, that's Kyle inside the machine, or as they call it on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, the bubble. So I have a different relationship with Kyle now because on watch What Happens Live Kyle's asked by of course, not Andy, someone else who you know doesn't want Andy to get dirty. They'll do the dirty work. They're gonna get the clickbait too. And she's asked, why did you unfollow Bethanana Instagram? It's a provocative question. Why not ask Kyle about her travels, her marriage, her kids, anything interesting? But no, The questions are always designed for a woman to trash another woman, a poll designed for one person to win and one person to lose, and the words in nine leaks I said what I said, I'm doubling down. I'm tripling down. I'm out here now naked. And while Andy is playing checkers every night, having women trash each other on his show, I'm here playing complicated chess. So I'm right here anytime. In addition, there are many Watch What Happens Live clips and moments that have been rinsed from the internet. I don't see any of the bad things I've done rinsed from the internet. So Brinn came with me to watch What Happens Live. They're not allowed out in the audience. She stayed in the dressing room. She got dressed up, and that was the night that Jeff Lewis and myself were on I really like I like Jeff Lewis. I have a good history with him. I've always enjoyed him, and I think he crosses the line but rides it, and I just I just intrinsically, instinctively like him. Now. I know he's close to Andy for years, and I don't know how much of that as show friends and show business, but we had a really nice conversation before the show started, and he kind of came in and was firing at me once the show started, and it did feel like a firing squad. Andy too was firing off at me, And what I found interesting about it was that Andy texts me all the time and had so many opportun unities to tell me what he had felt about Rewives, but he really did save it for the headlines for his show, and I thought our relationship transcended that. In fact, I have so many very private texts between Andy and myself that I will never divulge because I have a code about sharing information or secrets or texts, and I am a vault. Anything I've said about Andy is an observation and a feeling. It's not proprietary secrets between us, whether it's about money or other housewives. I don't fight dirty, I fight clean, like it's all above board. So I felt that Andy really was saving what he felt about rewives for ratings, and that bothered me because it felt like an ambush. He was saying things to me on his show that he hadn't said to me anywhere by text. The only thing he ever said to me by text was I'm glad to see you embracing the housewives when I told him I was doing rewives. Then on his radio show, in many interviews, and then on his Watch Happens Live show, Andy took the bait like a housewife and created the bait to take a shot at this beat, and he did miss. And the audience, for the most part, a couple of haters, but for the most part, the audience really felt that it was an ambush. I am so used to being in that firing squad on that show, because that show is a mudpit where you go to that show with the intentions of promoting something and being filthy for the next two weeks with provocative clickbait questions and polls designed to have you get into trouble by saying something you're going to regret. It is by design, the producers, the callers, the guests. Everybody's peppered, and Andy remains clean. So on that day, I remember Theresa had just gotten fired upon and made to look unintelligent, and she was in the dressing room and we had a chat. And then after I returned from my segment, I came back in and Brim was like, Mama, I didn't like that he was mean to you, Like she really didn't like it. She felt that everybody was ganging up on me and bully me. To be perfectly honest, I didn't really entirely notice, like I'm so used to it, but it felt that way when I was on the show. I felt ambush. But I'm very good under pressure. I'm good when under fire. I had one reunion where everybody knew that everybody was coming in with their own gun. And on that reunion I helped Luwan get paid for the reunion without attending, and she would have been the only ally I would have had. And yet because she was in a bit of trouble personally and emotionally, I helped her get exempt from the reunion and still get paid and get her rehab helped paid for her, and I took it on. I'm I was raised at the racetrack and an abusive environment. It hurt me for my daughter to just be hurt. She felt hurt. She was like, I thought that was your friend, Mama, And you know, it's like, there are no friends. This is show business, not show friends. And many people have asked me if that was really the nail and the coffin that allowed me to say how I really feel about Andy. Sometimes you're not even really sure how you feel about something or someone because you're just so used to that dynamic. And when that dynamic either pays you or you're scared to shut a door because you may want to enter back into it because it's a vehicle for media, or you get to go back on that show and promote something, or one day you'll get paid millions of dollars and you'll have to go on one of those Ultimate Girls trips because you have no other source of income and you're desperate, you've lost everything. Like these weird rainy day thoughts happen in your mind. You just don't see that there's any reason to burn a bridge or close a door. Why would you, And that's what a lot of people are thinking, because people in the entertainment industry and society at large, and in corporations and in pretty much every business are afraid because they just don't want to get cancer, even if it's within their own smaller circle. And I've always been one to be unafraid. And for a while, I've felt that this was a cesspool. I just felt hypocritical because I was saying it about something I was part of, and I just kept dipping my toe in until the water was a little warmer. And then one day I was like, I'm all the way in the pool and there's really no turning back. I don't think Andy's inviting me over for a Tupperware party anytime soon. And I think I didn't realize how I really felt. And I didn't realize until hearing from all of the horror stories of people from reality television and Bravo specifically, that I got more courage and hearing the people that have called the lawyers and told their stories about racism and discrimination and things that like I didn't really think about and really believe. I kind of rolled my eyes, thinking these people are just disgruntled and I saw Niini not as the character with the sound bites, but I saw Nini as a I saw Jill as a person and as a woman, and I saw Rachel as a person and a woman. And a lot of these people, even Kelly Dodd who said negative things about me, Tamor who said negative things about me, they're women, their mothers, and they're part of this machine. And I can't blame them for their participation. I genuinely can't. And they all know that what I'm saying is true, even the ones protecting the round making a lot of money right now, pretending that there they have blindfolds on it that they can't see around them. They know I'm right. I know I'm right. I am completely certain that every child who was exploited on Bravo television has to live that for the rest of their lives. I'm right. So it's easy to be vocal when you know you're right. So that's where I stand, because sometimes being right doesn't mean you have the courage to do it. And once I rip the band aid off, I'm out here naked. So I'm naked, but I'm right.

A lot going on. I posted something on Instagram which was effectively like a manifesto. If you remember in uh Jerry Maguire, he kind of just had like a mission statement, and some people in the comments after what I wrote said what happened, and truthfully, nothing happened. I just took stock in some of the things that I say here and on social media, some of the things that I do, and I wanted to kind of own my side in the street and be accountable. I wanted to be accountable because the reality reckoning has been something that I've brought up about the exploitation on reality TV, and it keeps going deeper as I have Rachel on and then I have Ninion and we talk about discrimination, and we talk about women, and we talk about Watch What Happens Live. And I'm a very analytical person, and it really has become very clear in being away from the Housewives for so long, what I really feel about it, and what I really do feel about it, is that it is an environment designed to pit women against each other, for women to rip each other apart. Watch What Happens Live is a show, but in the beginning it has been very successful at having women demoralize each other. And it's very crafty and creative because the way that the show is produced and executed, Andy is the host, and he will ask provocative questions, so he remains clean, but he will ask a provocative question like he recently asked who is the most overrated housewife? It literally is designed just to get someone to trash someone else, So it's always off of him. The stink is always off him, and callers will ask a question of a guest saying, so, Hi, what did you think of when Bethany did that thing? So that person will have to say something bad about Bethany or Nini or Ramona or anyone. And I really don't blame the person sitting in the chair. They are there because they want to promote whatever they're promoting and themselves, and it is a clickbait environment. So the show has been successful on the backs of like one hundred and fifty to one hundred and eighty women that leave that night and then have to live with tweets and articles and hate by bloggers because they will say something provocative and it's never the question that is questioned, it's always the answer that is questioned. The answer and the clickbait comment is always what gets the person into trouble and what has made many many housewives dislike each other without even having met each other, because it perpetuates women gossiping and talking badly about other women for a profit. So one example is that a woman on The New Housewives, which doesn't do well, it gets a couple hundred thousand or like three or four hundred thousand viewers a week and really needs the press. A woman on that show who's not relevant yet, well, who's new. So by definition, you're not that relevant and you're on a show that has ARCD and is on the back end. I mean basically watch what Happens live and The Housewives is like a nightclub at two o'clock in the morning. It basically has peaked, and it's like, you know, at two o'clock in the morning, it's when people's Misscara is running, their eyelashes are coming off of their face, and it gets a little sloppy. And so if you have someone who's on The New York Housewives now in a post successful era, they're gonna want to squeeze that sponge for any amount of liquid they can squeeze it for and you can never blame them. You cannot blame the talent because they need the relevance, the fame. It's why they went on the show. It's why I went on the show yesterday. I did this manifesto and sort of mission statement saying I own my part in the swamp. I was in the middle of the swamp. I capitalized on the swamp and not until I walked away from it for years now. I mean I've left twice, and I walked away from a new show on Bravo last months ago because I just didn't want to be in the environment which was tempting. So I walked away now three times because I realized that I was also gross, and I was gross for even contemplating going back being involved, because I just was making excuses for what this medium was, because I was still capitalizing on the medium, and even going on Watch What Happens Live to promote what I was doing or whatever I was promoting, was still being part of that machine. And so the last time I was there, yes, I went on the show and it was very obvious to the viewers that there was an ambush. And Jeff lewis who I really do like and who I had a nice conversation with about it afterwards, and who I don't blame because he too is talent on the show, trying to make a living, trying to promote what he's promoting, and part of this machine, and he was asked very provocative questions and really came for me, as Andy came for me related to Rewives, a show that is definitely not about bashing people. It's about breaking down episodes of a show that I was part of, of a franchise that I was part of, and relating it to modern day issues. Could be menopause, could be infidelity, could be divorce. And Andy came for me in the media, but as someone who thought they wore his friend on some level. Andy didn't come to me directly to tell me what he thought of the show that I was doing. He went out and talked about it in the media publicly, and I think it boomeranged on him because it was several weeks of bad pr for him in saying that he trashed it. And of course I'm entitled to talk about something that I was as much a part of as he was. He actually never got dirty in it. I actually got dirty in it. So it backfired on him because he became a housewife. He took the bait, and he kind of publicly said something, said several things negative against me, and then he tried to double down on his own show and do it again because it is his own show and he's protected there. It also backfired because the audience thought that he and Jeff had ambushed me. Andy Cohen has built a fortune and bought beach houses on the backs of like one hundred and eighty women. And what I said in my statement was that we get filthy while he remains clean and gets filthy rich, and that maybe I am biting the hand that feeds me, and maybe that hand deserves to be bitten. But most importantly that I have to think about the things that I say and the way that I say them, and I have to find the line between my opinion and the medium machine and what it feeds me, and that I need to err on the side of the human being. So if I'm talking about the Kardashians or Taylor Swift dating or the Royals, I have to err on the side of the human being, and I have to hold back a little. And maybe Neneleak's was right when she said what she said, and she said that she's keeping it seventy five percent because many of the opinions that I form are truly formed because of the media machine and what we are fed by the media machine. And when people say I want to hear your take on X, they're not thinking about how it's going to affect me. And my take on X maybe based on off of clips that I've seen on Instagram and TikTok and read in the paper, and they're designed to provoke, and so I've taken the bait. So I'm taking stock in my own life and the things that I say and the power that I have an influence. And I am changing because i want to be a good example for my daughter. And I'm not going to say whatever I think and feel anymore, not because I'm afraid, but because I'm responsible. And this reality reckoning and my part in reality TV, I'm taking it seriously. It keeps me up at night, and I've opened Pandora's box and I take responsibility for it and I own it, all of it. And when I think about an environment like watch What Happens Live and a housewife being asked a question designed to come for me that was previously discussed in a dressing room A bout me. I don't blame I don't hate the player, I hate the game instead. Andy Cohen is a person who is basically just a crossing guard, directing different people to say bad things about each other and to say things that will be clickbait fodder to live in the media for the next couple of weeks, because otherwise, why would someone who has the benefit of having a talk show ask Oprah Winfrey, one of the most accomplished, intelligent women to ever walk this earth, who could have won the election to be President of the United States. And his big question that he decides to ask her is if she's dipped in the Lady pond or Anderson Cooper his friend who's been to Afghanistan and reported and spent weeks on end in places like Ukraine and been all over the world risking his life, and Andy decides to ask him about a dick pic because Andy is only built to utilize other people to get pressed for himself, and it's worked because it's like that guy on sixth Avenue that moves all of those cups around in circles and you're not really knowing where anything's going, you don't really realize where it's coming from. You don't really realize that when he asks Rayleioda rest in Peace, a question about who is the worst kisser in Rayoda says Sigourney or something about breath or cocaine or something that Andy laughs, and the stink isn't on him. The stink was on Raioda and embarrassing him and getting him to say something that he normally wouldn't have said, and embarrassing Sigourney Weaver, who had nothing to do with it and didn't sign up for any of this and isn't being paid by Bravo or this machine. But the show and the environment is designed for women to bash and trash each other. And I no longer care if you think I'm a hypocrite for saying it, because, in the same way that Kim Kardashian started her career in a sex tape sixteen years ago, I started on The Housewives probably sixteen years ago, and yes I went back, that was probably almost ten years ago. I'm allowed to grow and evolve as a woman, as a mother, as a parent, as a philanthropist. I'm allowed to see the air of my ways on my own, not because anyone told me, not because I got canceled. I make more money now than I did when I was on The Housewives. I make a lot of money by saying what I think. I feel a personal human responsibility to walk the walk and talk the talk, and I had the courage to stand up and start the reality reckoning. So it's going to become very clear in the coming weeks and months what's really happening and what really goes on behind the scenes. And the reason that Andy Cohen can't himself comment and can't himself say that he thinks I'm irrelevant or name me when he says a hypocritical housewife, which I am not a housewife, a term that is from the fifties and also sets women back one hundred years and demoralizes them. I am not a housewife. As a grown woman who has my own career, my own career, my own money, my own philanthropic effort, I'm allowed to say whatever I want, and I can say Andy Cohen's name as many times as I want. But Andy Cohen, because the network that employs him is under tremendous legal siege for more than one hundred people that have been treated unfairly and poorly. So Andy Cohen is not allowed to say anything about me, because I'm sure that his mommy and daddy have told him from NBC that he's not allowed to speak about me. But anytime that Andy Cohen wants to come and talk to me, he's welcome to come and talk on my podcast, because we've talked on many of his vehicles, and I've been used for ratings and for numbers and for clickbait ad nauseum. So he's welcome to come do it here because just in the way that he thought that he was the only person allowed to talk about and exploit the housewives, he's not the only person that has a platform for people to speak on. So he's welcome here anytime to debate me on any aspect of the reality reckoning. And deep down inside he knows that what I'm saying is correct. And I thought I didn't like many of these women. I used to blog about episodes that are edited and produced where women are drinking and exhausted and it's stressful and you've said something you regret and you're in your head and you're on a trip and they make you film every minute of the day on a trip, and then you're exhausted, but you have to do it the next day. And you often feel like if you're not in a scene, they're going to be talking about you. So you then you're drinking because you just want to relax, and you say things that you shouldn't be saying aka Kelly Dodd in Ireland, and you're being pushed alcohol, whether it's not by the whether it's by the producers or by the other castmates. Alcohol seems like a really good idea and it's a recipe for disaster, And then you put yourself on the front lines and you say things that make people despise you because people think that's who you really are. And I used to blog about people on other shows like at Jersey and think certain things about them. But if everything I'm Housewives is not a reflection of who I am by any stretch of the imagination, why would it be a reflection of who they are? And then we're crossing over in the franchise and doing talk shows and saying things about each other based on things that have been said about us. I blog about Teresa, Teresa instantly hates me. Teresa's on a talk show, Andy asks her a question, she says something bad about me. She doesn't even know me. I then say something bad about her. I don't know her, I don't really know. I have never spent time with Nannie until she sat down for several hours at my house and I enjoyed her the way that I would enjoy meeting someone at a business conference or at a cocktail party, and we would start texting and being friends. I used to love Lisa Rina. We were friends. I liked her, I respected her. I thought she was so down to earth and real. When I stopped liking her is when I saw what the machine of the Housewives did to her. I was good friends with Kyle for years. Yes, we went in, we went out, But I felt differently about her after seeing the machine, seeing the social media, seeing how different people react to fame, seeing her differently, seeing how she was portrayed on the show, seeing how she handled the fame. That's not necessarily Kyle, that's Kyle inside the machine, or as they call it on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, the bubble. So I have a different relationship with Kyle now because on watch What Happens Live Kyle's asked by of course, not Andy, someone else who you know doesn't want Andy to get dirty. They'll do the dirty work. They're gonna get the clickbait too. And she's asked, why did you unfollow Bethanana Instagram? It's a provocative question. Why not ask Kyle about her travels, her marriage, her kids, anything interesting? But no, The questions are always designed for a woman to trash another woman, a poll designed for one person to win and one person to lose, and the words in nine leaks I said what I said, I'm doubling down. I'm tripling down. I'm out here now naked. And while Andy is playing checkers every night, having women trash each other on his show, I'm here playing complicated chess. So I'm right here anytime. In addition, there are many Watch What Happens Live clips and moments that have been rinsed from the internet. I don't see any of the bad things I've done rinsed from the internet. So Brinn came with me to watch What Happens Live. They're not allowed out in the audience. She stayed in the dressing room. She got dressed up, and that was the night that Jeff Lewis and myself were on I really like I like Jeff Lewis. I have a good history with him. I've always enjoyed him, and I think he crosses the line but rides it, and I just I just intrinsically, instinctively like him. Now. I know he's close to Andy for years, and I don't know how much of that as show friends and show business, but we had a really nice conversation before the show started, and he kind of came in and was firing at me once the show started, and it did feel like a firing squad. Andy too was firing off at me, And what I found interesting about it was that Andy texts me all the time and had so many opportun unities to tell me what he had felt about Rewives, but he really did save it for the headlines for his show, and I thought our relationship transcended that. In fact, I have so many very private texts between Andy and myself that I will never divulge because I have a code about sharing information or secrets or texts, and I am a vault. Anything I've said about Andy is an observation and a feeling. It's not proprietary secrets between us, whether it's about money or other housewives. I don't fight dirty, I fight clean, like it's all above board. So I felt that Andy really was saving what he felt about rewives for ratings, and that bothered me because it felt like an ambush. He was saying things to me on his show that he hadn't said to me anywhere by text. The only thing he ever said to me by text was I'm glad to see you embracing the housewives when I told him I was doing rewives. Then on his radio show, in many interviews, and then on his Watch Happens Live show, Andy took the bait like a housewife and created the bait to take a shot at this beat, and he did miss. And the audience, for the most part, a couple of haters, but for the most part, the audience really felt that it was an ambush. I am so used to being in that firing squad on that show, because that show is a mudpit where you go to that show with the intentions of promoting something and being filthy for the next two weeks with provocative clickbait questions and polls designed to have you get into trouble by saying something you're going to regret. It is by design, the producers, the callers, the guests. Everybody's peppered, and Andy remains clean. So on that day, I remember Theresa had just gotten fired upon and made to look unintelligent, and she was in the dressing room and we had a chat. And then after I returned from my segment, I came back in and Brim was like, Mama, I didn't like that he was mean to you, Like she really didn't like it. She felt that everybody was ganging up on me and bully me. To be perfectly honest, I didn't really entirely notice, like I'm so used to it, but it felt that way when I was on the show. I felt ambush. But I'm very good under pressure. I'm good when under fire. I had one reunion where everybody knew that everybody was coming in with their own gun. And on that reunion I helped Luwan get paid for the reunion without attending, and she would have been the only ally I would have had. And yet because she was in a bit of trouble personally and emotionally, I helped her get exempt from the reunion and still get paid and get her rehab helped paid for her, and I took it on. I'm I was raised at the racetrack and an abusive environment. It hurt me for my daughter to just be hurt. She felt hurt. She was like, I thought that was your friend, Mama, And you know, it's like, there are no friends. This is show business, not show friends. And many people have asked me if that was really the nail and the coffin that allowed me to say how I really feel about Andy. Sometimes you're not even really sure how you feel about something or someone because you're just so used to that dynamic. And when that dynamic either pays you or you're scared to shut a door because you may want to enter back into it because it's a vehicle for media, or you get to go back on that show and promote something, or one day you'll get paid millions of dollars and you'll have to go on one of those Ultimate Girls trips because you have no other source of income and you're desperate, you've lost everything. Like these weird rainy day thoughts happen in your mind. You just don't see that there's any reason to burn a bridge or close a door. Why would you, And that's what a lot of people are thinking, because people in the entertainment industry and society at large, and in corporations and in pretty much every business are afraid because they just don't want to get cancer, even if it's within their own smaller circle. And I've always been one to be unafraid. And for a while, I've felt that this was a cesspool. I just felt hypocritical because I was saying it about something I was part of, and I just kept dipping my toe in until the water was a little warmer. And then one day I was like, I'm all the way in the pool and there's really no turning back. I don't think Andy's inviting me over for a Tupperware party anytime soon. And I think I didn't realize how I really felt. And I didn't realize until hearing from all of the horror stories of people from reality television and Bravo specifically, that I got more courage and hearing the people that have called the lawyers and told their stories about racism and discrimination and things that like I didn't really think about and really believe. I kind of rolled my eyes, thinking these people are just disgruntled and I saw Niini not as the character with the sound bites, but I saw Nini as a I saw Jill as a person and as a woman, and I saw Rachel as a person and a woman. And a lot of these people, even Kelly Dodd who said negative things about me, Tamor who said negative things about me, they're women, their mothers, and they're part of this machine. And I can't blame them for their participation. I genuinely can't. And they all know that what I'm saying is true, even the ones protecting the round making a lot of money right now, pretending that there they have blindfolds on it that they can't see around them. They know I'm right. I know I'm right. I am completely certain that every child who was exploited on Bravo television has to live that for the rest of their lives. I'm right. So it's easy to be vocal when you know you're right. So that's where I stand, because sometimes being right doesn't mean you have the courage to do it. And once I rip the band aid off, I'm out here naked. So I'm naked, but I'm right.