ReWives ReRant: The Run-Ins

Published May 24, 2023, 4:00 AM

Find out what happened when Bethenny recently ran into a slew of Real Housewives. She reveals what they talked about and tries to determine whether or not it was truly an coincidental meeting or not. 

Plus, insider details on Sonja and Luann’s Welcome to Crappie Lake Trailer and Kim and Kroy’s custody battle.

Okay, So I just watched the Crappy Lake trailer. I didn't know that it was out, and before I watched it, this is exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking, I'm excited. I'm excited for Sonya. It makes sense, you know, the Lucy and Ethel and Shit's Creak of it all, which it's sort of like a reality version of Shit's Creek and the name even being Crappy Lake. It's cute and clever and creative. I don't know who produced it, but I like the concept. I just watched the trailer. I don't know what I think. I kind of wasn't laughing but wanted to be like Sonia. I recognize Sonya in this role like I like it. I like her in this role. I think she's kind of the star of it. I don't see Luanne in this role in a weird way. I don't know who else would be in this role, but like Luanne does crazy things that make you laugh at her, which is comedy, you know, but she's not funny, like she doesn't she's not really funny intentionally. Sonya is funny, like she'll say funny things. So I don't know what I think they put a lot in that trailer. It looks like a good idea, but it definitely seems like it's like a Simple Life, which did well. And I don't know if I actually thought Simple Life was funny. So I root for them. I hope it does really really well. It seems like it's a great idea, and yeah, I'm rooting for them. I just didn't laugh at the trailer, like I really will enjoy a real Housewives trailer. I kind of was like not laughing but wanting to laugh, Like it was like saying, hm, that's funny, but not laughing. So I wish them. I hope it does really really well. I think it's a great idea, a great name, a great concept. I think Sony is really funny and wacky. I just in that trailer, I don't know. I feel like there's too much storyline being Forrester. I don't know. I can't really place it, but I can't wait to hear how it does. This is Rewives, so this is a rerant. So we talk about housewives, and I talked about Kim and Kroy a couple of times because their divorce is reminiscent of antics that happen in divorces that hold up divorces, that are very costly, that seem like a good idea in the moment, and that are side shows. So apparently Kim is asking Croy to get drug tested. Now, that's fine if that's been something that she has expressed having an issue with before that's ever come up in their relationship. But if you've been married to someone for years and you've multiple children and you've never brought up drug use and they want them drug tested because now all of a sudden you're fearing that they're an unfit pan that's a reach that a judge can smell that a mile away. That's an antic that's a side show. Judges don't like side shows. Judges are focused on getting the case off their desk and the main show, and people are always focused on emotion and what their partner did. The judge is unlikely unless I don't know the background, which I don't. If Kroy has had a history of drug abuse or that's been something that's been discussed in their marriage, there's a chance that the judge could issue a drug test. But I would be betting that a judge is not going to ask for a drug test. On KROI if that has not been a historical problem or complaint, because it has not been affecting the parenting, all of a sudden, now this is the first time that we're breaking up. Now you're going to discuss just doesn't totally track. Kanye all of a sudden took issue with Northwest being in all of this social media after years of her being on a reality show and being in the most fame thirsty parent dynamic that any child could ever be in. It doesn't track. It's a reach. So it seems like Kim wanting a drug tist test on Croix that she's never asked for before is a reach. Asking for soul custody out of the gate after you've never had any problems, never had child Services get involved, never arrested somebody, never a real problem, and a marriage is also a reach. Judges want parity for parents. Judges want kids to be with both parents. Judges want not what's best for the parent, and not what the parent desires, and not with the parents' emotions and public dramas dictate. Judges want what's best for the child, which is a good relationship with both parents. There's no way that the judge is going to say sole custody and visitation unless one party is doing something very fucked up. It doesn't seem like anyone is the inferior parent. And certainly a reality show not going to show the whole thing. And certainly there are things that could be bad about Croy that you never saw because it was really more Kim's show, and she has to have these crazy antics to be the more crazy one, and she's the crazy wife and it's her show, and she's the humorous one and she gets the ratings. So we don't know what's really going on. But soul custody with visitation is a snowball's chance in hell, and a drug test on Croy, if in fact we've never heard about drugs in their relationship before, is also a snowball's chance in hell. These are theatrical antics to create a side show that are bothering the individuals that they want to sling shit to the other party, and in this case it seems like both parties want to sling shit, which is never a good idea and means that this could go on forever if they have maverick cowboy crazy lawyers who are going to do whatever they want, like low hanging fruit lawyers that want fame. Then they're both fucked because the lawyers are going to be doing their own theatrical art in court because they're winning, because they're making money, so they just want the media. They want the press. And if you get a cheap lawyer because they want the fame, you're fucked too, because they're gonna want the fame. So that's a disaster waiting to happen. You want the nerdy, dorky, non famous lawyer that's been successful but that doesn't want the fame. In addition, they're gonna go for maverick shit show lawyers because the lawyers can only benefit by getting the fame. They're not getting money because these two don't pay their bills, They didn't pay their taxes. Why are they gonna pay their lawyers. Historically people don't that don't pay their bills don't pay their lawyers. And another thing that happens, which happened in my situation, is when a party gets fired by their lawyer multiple times because of not being paid or because of antics. That's a disaster too that will hold up a divorce. These are all things you don't want holding up a divorce. Both of them need to shut the fuck up, get a mediator, and get out because it's gonna be millions of dollars that they don't have. I have so many coincidences with housewives, it's amazing. I go to Aspen and I run into Lisa Hawk scene at Matsuhisa, and she comes up and talks to me about my beauty reviews and her vicious, wretched divorce but nowhere near my vicious, wretched ten year divorce. Not that it's a divorce competition, but nowhere near my wretched divorce. And we talk about that. Then I run into Heather on the street for Heather Dubrow from Housewives of Orange County, who I knew when my ex husband's brother wanted to date her, and she was an actress and like just like a you know, regular actress running around LA and we were friendly, like so many of the coincidences happened off camera with me and these girls. And then I see Kyle and Pharah, and Kyle I was friends with a thousand years ago before she met Mauricio with when Pharaoh, who's a grown woman, was four years old and we used to drive her around in the car and she had like the cutest little giggle. Like all these I have, all these crazy Housewives coincidences off camera, maybe they're not coincidences. I mean those were just in another location, so they kind of aren't that. I saw Lisa hawkxeen and again in Miami, where she's from. I said, Teresa, I watched What Happens Live, but we had a long talk about her and Louis and Atlantic City and Sebastian Man of Skulko of all things, and I love the off camera Housewives interactions. Oh my god. I talked about Kim Zolziak. That is I don't want to say that's a gift that keeps on giving. She has kids and a divorce is challenging. I wouldn't wish it on my worst nightmare. Why did she bring her daughters into this world of like I guess you just you mimic your mom. Like my daughter dresses pretty naturally. She's not that into all this stuff. She's pretty down to earth and like maybe that's for me, maybe that's just how she was born. Maybe that's from her influences, her friends, the combination, But like, why would Kim Zolziak want that insecurity for her kids, Like it's obviously insecurity. You know, it's just so much done to yourself and so much filtering, and you can tell when it's insecurity, And why would you do that to your kids? I mean, yes, it's great to look good, it's great to look pretty, but making them think that your looks and how much money glam costs and the daughter's talking about eight thousand dollars a hair in her head and you know how much it's like back to the Erica Jane. It's expensive to be me and it's you know that doesn't wear. It's fifty thousand dollars a month to get this glam and not to mention a stylist and flying them to Dubai and they're going first class, your people, and oh my god, it's being layered. It's so much worse. It's like tabasco on a wound, because this stuff is like it's aging like milk. Watching Kim and her kids and KROI talk about all their money. At least to recent DJA wasn't talking about the hundreds of thousands of dollars she paid in cash and furniture on social media because it didn't exist then so when they went to jail and when they got caught, like it wasn't like ouch. All this is all over social media. Just Kim and Kroy on this show talking about four hundred thousand dollars, breathes like cringe, twenty two thousand dollars, kids birthday party, cringe, eight thousand dollars, a hair in your head, cringe. I mean it's like it's endlessly cringe worthy. It's disgusting, and it's cheating, and it's lying and it's phony, and I don't know what she could possibly say to defend herself. And she's driving school and a range over to drop her kids off. Like, dude, you fucking trade your car in right away for a RAB four. You go get a studio apartment, You may a collpa. You say, I'm disgusting, it's disgusting. I'm turning over a new leaf. You donate to some charity, and you fucking keep it moving, keep it moving. I don't know what to say. It's vial

Rants with Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel tells it like it is. RANT Definition: speak or shout at length in a wild, impassio 
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