Let's talk about a couple of things. One is New York City. I told you guys about getting hit in the face, and David Spade and Dana Carvey invited me on their podcast. I had been asked by I think Don Lemon and different people some other news network to talk about it, and I just didn't feel like talking about it. But because it's David Spade, who I love, and Dana Carvey, who I admire, and you know, you guys know I love comics, I went on their podcast together to talk about New York and it got into a conversation about New York crime. It was initially going to be about me and getting hit in the face, which was a trend or is a trend, and we started talking about New York crime, and it led me to a whole thought process and conversation with David about a few things I mentioned on his podcast. And no shade to Jerry Seinfeld, who I think is great but a man when the pandemic started, said New York is dead. And Jerry Seinfeld got personally triggered and annoyed and wrote an open letter and I forgot I think it was in the New York Times and basically criticizing this guy and saying he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. New York is not dead, and we're New Yorkers and we're survivors and we're fighters and whatever, and that's true, but New York is kind of dead. And like I was talking to you know, I've been talking about like several New Yorker New Yorkers, and I bought an apartment in New York. So believe me, it's not like I don't want this to be the opposite. And it sounds like I'm a hater and I'm not being but it's taken a real beating. And that guy who wrote that article was right in his prophecy, and Jerry Seinfeld was wrong and saying like it's not dead. I mean, Jerry Seinfeld's right too in saying that New Yorkers are survivors and fighters, but like it's a shit show right now. And so I was talking today to my publicist and her friend knew someone who has held at gunpoint at Duncan Donuts. My daughter's friend was held at gunpoint at Duncan Donuts. Coincidentally, my same friend knew someone who got hit in the head with a face of a brick by a homeless person in New York City. I described being hit in the face. A lot of women are describing that, and my publicist was saying that now she walks and is always on her phone on the street, and now she's like always worried, so like everyone's on alert. And that was something that Dana Carvey brought up, like regardless of whether something does happen, has happened, or is going to happen, we feel like it's going to happen. We are walking around heightened. And I was actually at a drug store in Miami last week. I don't know if it's as bad. I'm sure it's not great, because crime is bad in many places, many cities, but I was in Walgreens just every person that came anywhere close to me I felt was a threat, Like I just I didn't want to be And I just think about my daughter walking up and down the aisles of CBS and thinking life is normal, and it freaks me out because I was also talking about the fact that everything's behind a cage. Like if you go into New York City and you want to get something very basic, it could be miscoua it could be like lotion, cheap lotion, anything, toothpaste, and there's some things that are not locked up, and you're wondering why those things aren't locked up because maybe sometimes they're more expensive. It's just like a random thing, or there are things that are easy for people to steal. I don't know, but easily eighty percent of what I'm looking for is locked up in the store. So the thing is that the system is Fredo. Fredo's the character and the godfather that had no respect, Like the system is not respected. And then you go one layer deeper and you're talking about this and you're saying things like which I said on his podcast. When Juliani was in office, it was the not fucking around Crew, and for whatever reason, whatever he specifically did, the crime was down. And I don't really I was young then and I don't remember, but I know that that was the general sentiment, and that years before that, New York had been pretty grim. In the seventies, New York were scary, Like New York City was a scary place, and we're kind of there now and we need the not fucking round Crew, which has nothing to do with politics. So someone's gotta get in the fucking mix and change this shit, because it's not a joke. The system is not respected. If you go, if you know, you could just walk in and steal whatever you want because you know that there are no consequences. Put your kids in a school where there are no rules. Put your kids in a college, a preschool, any grade and there are no rules because you could get away with anything, do drugs, steal something, do whatever you want. You're not getting caught, You're not getting in trouble. It's not gonna go that great. Last week, I was in Miami and it was taking twenty minutes. I was trying to get into my eyelash error, which was a big failure, and I wanted to put on eyelashes, and I wanted to put on fake eyelashes, and I had fake eyelashes, I think in my bag or I'm I no, I know exactly what happened. The fake eyelashes were locked up unlike this thing, like it wasn't the cage, but like they were, and I rang and I asked somebody, and it was like fifteen minutes later just to get the fucking eyelashes off right, So what did I do? It was in a paper like you know that little circle that hangs on the hook. I ripped open the paper, took the lashes off, and ripped open the glue thing and took them up to the counter to pay for them, like they were out of there. They were like the package was ripped and then went up to pay. It's harder to pay than it is to steal. That's fucked up, so something has to be done. New York is not the same New York is in a way dead. So that article was correct. Like what they meant was new York is dead as we know it, and it is a shell of its former self. It is not the same new York. She is suffering, and she needs help, and somebody needs to get involved, and somebody. We need the not fucking around crew. Now, I am my daughter anywhere she is like, wait a minute, had you get there? What time is it was a dark did? Like wait a minute? No? I sent her every story to the point where I'm annoying. I'm like, no, this person just got I don't you don't want to scare your kids, You don't want to freak them out? What do I do scare my kid? Freak her out? Like I'm choosing fear. I want to instill fear in her because my alternative is pain and death, like and crime. So like, this is what we're dealing with. The choices of my daughter are instill fear or she's walking through the streets of Manhattan thinking everything's normal. I don't want this life, and I don't want this life for her. I really don't want this life for her. I want her out of the city. I got an apartment there as a necessary evil, and I feel no problem saying a necessary evil. But the city's not what it used to be in any way, shape or form, and I would like whoever the version of the Not Fucking Around Crew is. I don't give a fuck if it's Mickey Mouse, Donald Dunk or Hello Kitty. I just want someone in there that's gonna crack skulls. It does not have anything to do with whether you're a Democrat or a Republican. If you want to be safe and the girl the producer just told me on this podcast after I said this, thinking it was too much, they said, every single girl in New York City is buying a taser. My daughter has has pepper spray, and one of those alarm things. She's she had it since she was twelve. I just would like to say I love Kristen Wig. I've met Kristin Wig, I've texted with Kristien Wig. I just love Kristen Wigg. This is just a Kristen Wig appreciation post. So this is a kW a quap. It sounds like some bad venarial disease. But it's a Christen Wig appreciation post. Why because she looks better than she ever has. She s had some sort of work and this is not a shame and this is not a criticism, and this is not anything. Whatever she's done, it's been great. She looks fresh, she looks good, she's like looks happy, she's aging beautifully, and she looks better than she's ever looked. I saw Palm Royal. It was good, not great. I don't care. I saw it because of her. I'm team Wig and I just feel like she's in her glow up era. I just I'm liking it. And I'm just all in about Christian make and she's brilliantly talented, hilarious Hall of Fame humor, like really just a different breed of comic. Because it's like giving Carol Benett, and I love Lucy like if I were a comic, I'd be that breed of comic, like you know, and I just, I think, just a whack job lunatic and just so leans in with her whole body to the characters. And so I'm fully teamed Kristen right now. I have been always, but like really liking where she is in her life right now

Let's talk about a couple of things. One is New York City. I told you guys about getting hit in the face, and David Spade and Dana Carvey invited me on their podcast. I had been asked by I think Don Lemon and different people some other news network to talk about it, and I just didn't feel like talking about it. But because it's David Spade, who I love, and Dana Carvey, who I admire, and you know, you guys know I love comics, I went on their podcast together to talk about New York and it got into a conversation about New York crime. It was initially going to be about me and getting hit in the face, which was a trend or is a trend, and we started talking about New York crime, and it led me to a whole thought process and conversation with David about a few things I mentioned on his podcast. And no shade to Jerry Seinfeld, who I think is great but a man when the pandemic started, said New York is dead. And Jerry Seinfeld got personally triggered and annoyed and wrote an open letter and I forgot I think it was in the New York Times and basically criticizing this guy and saying he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. New York is not dead, and we're New Yorkers and we're survivors and we're fighters and whatever, and that's true, but New York is kind of dead. And like I was talking to you know, I've been talking about like several New Yorker New Yorkers, and I bought an apartment in New York. So believe me, it's not like I don't want this to be the opposite. And it sounds like I'm a hater and I'm not being but it's taken a real beating. And that guy who wrote that article was right in his prophecy, and Jerry Seinfeld was wrong and saying like it's not dead. I mean, Jerry Seinfeld's right too in saying that New Yorkers are survivors and fighters, but like it's a shit show right now. And so I was talking today to my publicist and her friend knew someone who has held at gunpoint at Duncan Donuts. My daughter's friend was held at gunpoint at Duncan Donuts. Coincidentally, my same friend knew someone who got hit in the head with a face of a brick by a homeless person in New York City. I described being hit in the face. A lot of women are describing that, and my publicist was saying that now she walks and is always on her phone on the street, and now she's like always worried, so like everyone's on alert. And that was something that Dana Carvey brought up, like regardless of whether something does happen, has happened, or is going to happen, we feel like it's going to happen. We are walking around heightened. And I was actually at a drug store in Miami last week. I don't know if it's as bad. I'm sure it's not great, because crime is bad in many places, many cities, but I was in Walgreens just every person that came anywhere close to me I felt was a threat, Like I just I didn't want to be And I just think about my daughter walking up and down the aisles of CBS and thinking life is normal, and it freaks me out because I was also talking about the fact that everything's behind a cage. Like if you go into New York City and you want to get something very basic, it could be miscoua it could be like lotion, cheap lotion, anything, toothpaste, and there's some things that are not locked up, and you're wondering why those things aren't locked up because maybe sometimes they're more expensive. It's just like a random thing, or there are things that are easy for people to steal. I don't know, but easily eighty percent of what I'm looking for is locked up in the store. So the thing is that the system is Fredo. Fredo's the character and the godfather that had no respect, Like the system is not respected. And then you go one layer deeper and you're talking about this and you're saying things like which I said on his podcast. When Juliani was in office, it was the not fucking around Crew, and for whatever reason, whatever he specifically did, the crime was down. And I don't really I was young then and I don't remember, but I know that that was the general sentiment, and that years before that, New York had been pretty grim. In the seventies, New York were scary, Like New York City was a scary place, and we're kind of there now and we need the not fucking round Crew, which has nothing to do with politics. So someone's gotta get in the fucking mix and change this shit, because it's not a joke. The system is not respected. If you go, if you know, you could just walk in and steal whatever you want because you know that there are no consequences. Put your kids in a school where there are no rules. Put your kids in a college, a preschool, any grade and there are no rules because you could get away with anything, do drugs, steal something, do whatever you want. You're not getting caught, You're not getting in trouble. It's not gonna go that great. Last week, I was in Miami and it was taking twenty minutes. I was trying to get into my eyelash error, which was a big failure, and I wanted to put on eyelashes, and I wanted to put on fake eyelashes, and I had fake eyelashes, I think in my bag or I'm I no, I know exactly what happened. The fake eyelashes were locked up unlike this thing, like it wasn't the cage, but like they were, and I rang and I asked somebody, and it was like fifteen minutes later just to get the fucking eyelashes off right, So what did I do? It was in a paper like you know that little circle that hangs on the hook. I ripped open the paper, took the lashes off, and ripped open the glue thing and took them up to the counter to pay for them, like they were out of there. They were like the package was ripped and then went up to pay. It's harder to pay than it is to steal. That's fucked up, so something has to be done. New York is not the same New York is in a way dead. So that article was correct. Like what they meant was new York is dead as we know it, and it is a shell of its former self. It is not the same new York. She is suffering, and she needs help, and somebody needs to get involved, and somebody. We need the not fucking around crew. Now, I am my daughter anywhere she is like, wait a minute, had you get there? What time is it was a dark did? Like wait a minute? No? I sent her every story to the point where I'm annoying. I'm like, no, this person just got I don't you don't want to scare your kids, You don't want to freak them out? What do I do scare my kid? Freak her out? Like I'm choosing fear. I want to instill fear in her because my alternative is pain and death, like and crime. So like, this is what we're dealing with. The choices of my daughter are instill fear or she's walking through the streets of Manhattan thinking everything's normal. I don't want this life, and I don't want this life for her. I really don't want this life for her. I want her out of the city. I got an apartment there as a necessary evil, and I feel no problem saying a necessary evil. But the city's not what it used to be in any way, shape or form, and I would like whoever the version of the Not Fucking Around Crew is. I don't give a fuck if it's Mickey Mouse, Donald Dunk or Hello Kitty. I just want someone in there that's gonna crack skulls. It does not have anything to do with whether you're a Democrat or a Republican. If you want to be safe and the girl the producer just told me on this podcast after I said this, thinking it was too much, they said, every single girl in New York City is buying a taser. My daughter has has pepper spray, and one of those alarm things. She's she had it since she was twelve. I just would like to say I love Kristen Wig. I've met Kristin Wig, I've texted with Kristien Wig. I just love Kristen Wigg. This is just a Kristen Wig appreciation post. So this is a kW a quap. It sounds like some bad venarial disease. But it's a Christen Wig appreciation post. Why because she looks better than she ever has. She s had some sort of work and this is not a shame and this is not a criticism, and this is not anything. Whatever she's done, it's been great. She looks fresh, she looks good, she's like looks happy, she's aging beautifully, and she looks better than she's ever looked. I saw Palm Royal. It was good, not great. I don't care. I saw it because of her. I'm team Wig and I just feel like she's in her glow up era. I just I'm liking it. And I'm just all in about Christian make and she's brilliantly talented, hilarious Hall of Fame humor, like really just a different breed of comic. Because it's like giving Carol Benett, and I love Lucy like if I were a comic, I'd be that breed of comic, like you know, and I just, I think, just a whack job lunatic and just so leans in with her whole body to the characters. And so I'm fully teamed Kristen right now. I have been always, but like really liking where she is in her life right now