Vacation sex is different. Number one, it's existent, it exists, it occurs, and number two, like it could occur with frequency, like oral sex, you know, missionary sex, just vacation sex. And I went on a vacation with Paul to Miami, and like we're not really Miami people. I've been going to Miami my whole life, and I've been there over a hundred times, but like, I don't think of myself as a Miami person because it's nightclubs and it's like for hotshots and it's action and everyone's out in like a purple ferrari and like wearing no clothes and mesh and whatever. But like we're action adjacent, so we like to go there and go to like we would go to a beza and have the best fucking time because we go to dinner at eight o'clock. No one's going to dinner, go to the shops, eat the good foods, stay at the hotels and just like why like people watch, like leave dinner when people are coming, you know, just do things upside down. So we're like that in Miami, we're going to dinner at seven o'clock. We did it. We went to the cool restaurant. I wore my great outfits. I went to the pool, leave the pool, get up for beach walk at seven in the morning, have breakfast at eight o'clock, and be like leave the pool at noon, and everyone's waking up and getting there to like day drink and like Douche douche douche music. Like we're not those people, but we participate and we like it because it's like action adjacent. So like in Miami, we went to Miami and we're in a hotel room and I'm just like initiating sex and Paul his heart is stopping. He's like, what's going on. We're getting an apartment here. He's wearing like, you know, a Versachi shirt button down. He has zero chest hair. Literally, he has two chest hairs. Often I'm like, oh my god, you're so hairy because he has two chest hairs. No exhaction. No, he's quarter Japanese. He has two chest hairs. So I'll be like, oh my god. So Paul's wearing like a giant gold watch, a Versachi shirt down to his navel, a gold chain, and we're having sex in the middle of the day. He's like looking at real estate listings. He's calling himself Tony Montana. He's never tried to drug in his life. He's a different person now because we're doing like vacations, So vacation sex is just different. It's all that I have to say. I've decided that at restaurants where like you're like beggars. You go to a hip restaurant and you like you're like, Hi, yeah, no, is there is there any chance I could just like a no, like pecans like no, like sugar pecans, like can I can I try the dressing? And you're like begging. It's like you know all the elements of what's in the restaurant. You know that, like it's not one of those shake your own salads at the airport that's already made, so you know they have a rouge law, and you know they have already chocks because you saw it somewhere else. You also know it's forty dollars for a fucking pasta, and you're just like, hey, is there anyway you could like and I realize we're beggars. You're like paying and you're a beggar, and like you just feel like the whole time you're just like Hi, yeah, no, and someone comes up like, Hi, what kind of water would you like? And I'm like, I'd like wet water, and I don't need like overpriced like twenty dollars, like they're like sparkling water. Like no, I'll take club soda, like no one's marketing club soda because it doesn't like you can't mark up the bill for twenty dollars for club soda. So I just you feel like a loser. You're like a club soda and I'll just have like water, just water, h two ol, It's just like that is it liquid? I'd like it over ice? Thank you so much? And is your ice made of perie beauxent if I like need to get perier, like I'm putting perie over like shitty water ice like water faucet ice, So like what are we fucking doing? Don't ask me about the sparkling water. Don't ask me if I'd like bottled water. Don't do it like I'd like to come into be like we are not bottled water. People like that's just not who we are. But anyway, so then we go through that moment and that same person you just want to ask that same person if we could get like a drink. You're here, like it's gonna be it's liquid. Can you just be a liquid person? You came up. We don't need like a second part, like got the liquid person, who's got the sparkling water? Just the water conversation, and then we have to have a I hate transacting, anyone who knows my fucking hate transacting. I don't like, can I get your room key? And you want a towel and you want another towel and you want to like no, I don't want all these conversations, so we have to have a water conversation that I don't want to have to begin with. So then we're like, no, could just because it's short, nay. Also like you're trying to get it as quick as you can, so they think it's part of the water program, which they don't. Oh yes, someone else will be by soon to take your drinks. Why water is a drink? What if I'm only a water drinker? Then this is my big drink. I want a lemon in my water or club soda that's my cocktail. Why can't we just do it all at the same time, you're like begging, like they're rushing away and you're hungry. They're rushing like they're rushing with it. No, No, we're just gonna take your water order. There's someone else will come over for that thing. Okay. So then like you're hungry too, but you're not like ready for the commitment of the main thing. But you're like not eating since lunch. It's many hours and probably like, can we just get something? I hear his voice change, Hike is the beast. We can get some things for the table, like with his furrowed brown he's like tears coming to his eyes. He's like, Nos, he's asking for someone because he's a fucking beggar. So he's like could be yeah, And then they're like, hi, your server, we have to take the whole we have to take the whole order at the same time, What the fucking arbitrary rule is that? Why why it's not sushi? Why why can't we just like I don't know, I don't I'm not doing one thing, and I'm gonna be like, hi, like one order of French fries. I'd like a steak. Later on, we're gonna get the bait. I'm gonna get the baked Alaskan And then come around and circles and start ordering a case of DA and some other fucking things. I get it. We just want to let's just do some appetizers now, Is that okay? No, it's not because you're a fucking beggar. It's like honestly, and then Jesus Christ, it's not the pandemic anymore. Which where the scam of like you packing your own food, you want to take something to go, Well, it was a sixty eight dollars, RUBI like you want some of it to go? Like it's your body and your choice. It's a very expensive meal. They just throw a box on the on the table, so degrading, Like I don't have the right like tools for this job. You know what I mean? You took my utensils away. Now I'm like shaking my plate like I'm wearing a white dress. I'm like shaking my plate over that weird cardboard box. It's not it's not the black plastic thing that has the clear plastic over to steal it shut. It's like that weird like Lego or GOMMI fucking brown plastic box. It like folds in, so stuff is gonna leak through the corners. So you're trying to like shake pasta, and it's not gonna like shimmy in right, it's gonna like get on the corners, which is going in your car. I'm gonna get on your dress. And so like then you're trying to shut it and you can't shut it because they fucking bought the cheap oat to goat containers. Can you just have good to go containers? It's degrading enough. I want to stack it. I want it to go in a bag, and I don't want clam sauce on my fucking car carpet. Is that possible? So you're begging and then like they give you this like porn bag of like it's a black plastic or like a like it's our pleasure to serve you when it's fucking not, you know it's not. And then you're like carrying out this like plastic bag. It's gonna like cut off your circulation, gona twisting circles on your wrist, and like you don't get like mister Chow gets the fucking award for the greatest mister who has a very expensive upscale Chinese restaurant. They give you a shopping bag. It looks like you went to like a very expensive more than Victoria's secret, because it's like more firm. It's not like paper and it's gonna rip. It's like a very beautiful like it could be Gucci bag. It's gorgeous, like you're proud to walk out with your to go food. So to go containers and bags need to fucking get with the program. Mark, I'm coining the phrase I own it, it's mine. If somebody else says it, you fucking give it the credit that it deserves. Like Paris Hilton said that's hot and Christian Siriano said hot mess. It's their phrases. Ozempa rexic is mine. It's gonna be a thin. I already heard, you know. I talked about ozempic every day ending and why because now there's a new thing. I know two thing, guys. They just decided to get ozempic to just fucking like quick. It's like a binge diet. They're gonna do it for a week then go off. How fucked up? Fuck everyone who said it wasn't gonna go sideways. This thing is going sideways. Oh, Zempa exix thin. People who get a quick prescription, they can afford it. They inject themselves. They don't eat for a week, and then they jump the fuck off. They use it like intermittent fasting, except it's like weeks at a time, like some you know people fast from Like, by the way, what the fuck fasting? The I'm intermittent fasting. I stop eating at eleven o'clock and I start eating at eight. That's called sleeping. You fucking weirdo, Like people are so weird. So people are gonna, oh, Zemba exic, and they're not gonna fast, They're gonna fucking naughty for a week and then jump back onto food, go out, go away on vacation and going to CenTra Pa. I'm eating shake freed every day and I'm enjoying my life. Go to Coachella, get drunken ey cheeseburgers, and then I'm doing ozempic for a week, or Moonjaro or kill them on draw kill kill a Moonjaro and Ozemba exic. You heard it here, don't fucking steal it, or steal it and give me credit, like the skinny margarita that I invented that everybody says, and I never get the credit. And I'm the one who says, credit seekers don't get credit, so that's probably why I'm not getting credit. Can we discuss? Can we discuss why planes have a goddamn window in between seat rows, Like sometimes it's shimmied where it's closer to the person, like a person has their own window, and then there's like a weird hybrid window that's sort of mine and sort of theirs. It's just asking for a fucking argument. It's just asking for a fucking argument like that person and it's past agabat. It's like more like you need a lawyer, We need like a mediator on the plane, because it's more it's closer to them. But the glare of the sun it provides is on me. The real estate of the sun and the light that it provides is eighty five percent mine. The handle of it is eighty five percent theirs. So I sometimes when someone's sleeping out a sneak my hand and like shut. I'm like, they're not gonna care, and they're already sleeping, and why didn't they want to shut anyway if they had intention of going to sleep, And maybe they're those sleepers that can just sleep on their own or they have eyemasks. I don't fucking know. I don't live with them, I didn't pack with them. I don't give a good fuck, and I don't have a lawyer. But I'm shutting that shit because if a window is in my eyes and I'm gonna like have sun in it, it needs to shut. But it gets tricky, I'll just like stick my hand up and like take liberty and shut it. I haven't gotten fucked. Sometimes you get into a little fight with someone passag or someone will like put it up like this, like they need it up a little warm. I'm like, the sun is still in my eyes. Someone said to me, oh, well, we're gonna pass that soon, like we're in the clouds. We're gonna come out soon. I'm like, oh the fuck are you? Like Al Roker? Now, I know I'm an angry woman and it comes to playing conduct and it's not checking by my window. I'm a violating contact with the light, like singing my corneas. Forget it.

Vacation sex is different. Number one, it's existent, it exists, it occurs, and number two, like it could occur with frequency, like oral sex, you know, missionary sex, just vacation sex. And I went on a vacation with Paul to Miami, and like we're not really Miami people. I've been going to Miami my whole life, and I've been there over a hundred times, but like, I don't think of myself as a Miami person because it's nightclubs and it's like for hotshots and it's action and everyone's out in like a purple ferrari and like wearing no clothes and mesh and whatever. But like we're action adjacent, so we like to go there and go to like we would go to a beza and have the best fucking time because we go to dinner at eight o'clock. No one's going to dinner, go to the shops, eat the good foods, stay at the hotels and just like why like people watch, like leave dinner when people are coming, you know, just do things upside down. So we're like that in Miami, we're going to dinner at seven o'clock. We did it. We went to the cool restaurant. I wore my great outfits. I went to the pool, leave the pool, get up for beach walk at seven in the morning, have breakfast at eight o'clock, and be like leave the pool at noon, and everyone's waking up and getting there to like day drink and like Douche douche douche music. Like we're not those people, but we participate and we like it because it's like action adjacent. So like in Miami, we went to Miami and we're in a hotel room and I'm just like initiating sex and Paul his heart is stopping. He's like, what's going on. We're getting an apartment here. He's wearing like, you know, a Versachi shirt button down. He has zero chest hair. Literally, he has two chest hairs. Often I'm like, oh my god, you're so hairy because he has two chest hairs. No exhaction. No, he's quarter Japanese. He has two chest hairs. So I'll be like, oh my god. So Paul's wearing like a giant gold watch, a Versachi shirt down to his navel, a gold chain, and we're having sex in the middle of the day. He's like looking at real estate listings. He's calling himself Tony Montana. He's never tried to drug in his life. He's a different person now because we're doing like vacations, So vacation sex is just different. It's all that I have to say. I've decided that at restaurants where like you're like beggars. You go to a hip restaurant and you like you're like, Hi, yeah, no, is there is there any chance I could just like a no, like pecans like no, like sugar pecans, like can I can I try the dressing? And you're like begging. It's like you know all the elements of what's in the restaurant. You know that, like it's not one of those shake your own salads at the airport that's already made, so you know they have a rouge law, and you know they have already chocks because you saw it somewhere else. You also know it's forty dollars for a fucking pasta, and you're just like, hey, is there anyway you could like and I realize we're beggars. You're like paying and you're a beggar, and like you just feel like the whole time you're just like Hi, yeah, no, and someone comes up like, Hi, what kind of water would you like? And I'm like, I'd like wet water, and I don't need like overpriced like twenty dollars, like they're like sparkling water. Like no, I'll take club soda, like no one's marketing club soda because it doesn't like you can't mark up the bill for twenty dollars for club soda. So I just you feel like a loser. You're like a club soda and I'll just have like water, just water, h two ol, It's just like that is it liquid? I'd like it over ice? Thank you so much? And is your ice made of perie beauxent if I like need to get perier, like I'm putting perie over like shitty water ice like water faucet ice, So like what are we fucking doing? Don't ask me about the sparkling water. Don't ask me if I'd like bottled water. Don't do it like I'd like to come into be like we are not bottled water. People like that's just not who we are. But anyway, so then we go through that moment and that same person you just want to ask that same person if we could get like a drink. You're here, like it's gonna be it's liquid. Can you just be a liquid person? You came up. We don't need like a second part, like got the liquid person, who's got the sparkling water? Just the water conversation, and then we have to have a I hate transacting, anyone who knows my fucking hate transacting. I don't like, can I get your room key? And you want a towel and you want another towel and you want to like no, I don't want all these conversations, so we have to have a water conversation that I don't want to have to begin with. So then we're like, no, could just because it's short, nay. Also like you're trying to get it as quick as you can, so they think it's part of the water program, which they don't. Oh yes, someone else will be by soon to take your drinks. Why water is a drink? What if I'm only a water drinker? Then this is my big drink. I want a lemon in my water or club soda that's my cocktail. Why can't we just do it all at the same time, you're like begging, like they're rushing away and you're hungry. They're rushing like they're rushing with it. No, No, we're just gonna take your water order. There's someone else will come over for that thing. Okay. So then like you're hungry too, but you're not like ready for the commitment of the main thing. But you're like not eating since lunch. It's many hours and probably like, can we just get something? I hear his voice change, Hike is the beast. We can get some things for the table, like with his furrowed brown he's like tears coming to his eyes. He's like, Nos, he's asking for someone because he's a fucking beggar. So he's like could be yeah, And then they're like, hi, your server, we have to take the whole we have to take the whole order at the same time, What the fucking arbitrary rule is that? Why why it's not sushi? Why why can't we just like I don't know, I don't I'm not doing one thing, and I'm gonna be like, hi, like one order of French fries. I'd like a steak. Later on, we're gonna get the bait. I'm gonna get the baked Alaskan And then come around and circles and start ordering a case of DA and some other fucking things. I get it. We just want to let's just do some appetizers now, Is that okay? No, it's not because you're a fucking beggar. It's like honestly, and then Jesus Christ, it's not the pandemic anymore. Which where the scam of like you packing your own food, you want to take something to go, Well, it was a sixty eight dollars, RUBI like you want some of it to go? Like it's your body and your choice. It's a very expensive meal. They just throw a box on the on the table, so degrading, Like I don't have the right like tools for this job. You know what I mean? You took my utensils away. Now I'm like shaking my plate like I'm wearing a white dress. I'm like shaking my plate over that weird cardboard box. It's not it's not the black plastic thing that has the clear plastic over to steal it shut. It's like that weird like Lego or GOMMI fucking brown plastic box. It like folds in, so stuff is gonna leak through the corners. So you're trying to like shake pasta, and it's not gonna like shimmy in right, it's gonna like get on the corners, which is going in your car. I'm gonna get on your dress. And so like then you're trying to shut it and you can't shut it because they fucking bought the cheap oat to goat containers. Can you just have good to go containers? It's degrading enough. I want to stack it. I want it to go in a bag, and I don't want clam sauce on my fucking car carpet. Is that possible? So you're begging and then like they give you this like porn bag of like it's a black plastic or like a like it's our pleasure to serve you when it's fucking not, you know it's not. And then you're like carrying out this like plastic bag. It's gonna like cut off your circulation, gona twisting circles on your wrist, and like you don't get like mister Chow gets the fucking award for the greatest mister who has a very expensive upscale Chinese restaurant. They give you a shopping bag. It looks like you went to like a very expensive more than Victoria's secret, because it's like more firm. It's not like paper and it's gonna rip. It's like a very beautiful like it could be Gucci bag. It's gorgeous, like you're proud to walk out with your to go food. So to go containers and bags need to fucking get with the program. Mark, I'm coining the phrase I own it, it's mine. If somebody else says it, you fucking give it the credit that it deserves. Like Paris Hilton said that's hot and Christian Siriano said hot mess. It's their phrases. Ozempa rexic is mine. It's gonna be a thin. I already heard, you know. I talked about ozempic every day ending and why because now there's a new thing. I know two thing, guys. They just decided to get ozempic to just fucking like quick. It's like a binge diet. They're gonna do it for a week then go off. How fucked up? Fuck everyone who said it wasn't gonna go sideways. This thing is going sideways. Oh, Zempa exix thin. People who get a quick prescription, they can afford it. They inject themselves. They don't eat for a week, and then they jump the fuck off. They use it like intermittent fasting, except it's like weeks at a time, like some you know people fast from Like, by the way, what the fuck fasting? The I'm intermittent fasting. I stop eating at eleven o'clock and I start eating at eight. That's called sleeping. You fucking weirdo, Like people are so weird. So people are gonna, oh, Zemba exic, and they're not gonna fast, They're gonna fucking naughty for a week and then jump back onto food, go out, go away on vacation and going to CenTra Pa. I'm eating shake freed every day and I'm enjoying my life. Go to Coachella, get drunken ey cheeseburgers, and then I'm doing ozempic for a week, or Moonjaro or kill them on draw kill kill a Moonjaro and Ozemba exic. You heard it here, don't fucking steal it, or steal it and give me credit, like the skinny margarita that I invented that everybody says, and I never get the credit. And I'm the one who says, credit seekers don't get credit, so that's probably why I'm not getting credit. Can we discuss? Can we discuss why planes have a goddamn window in between seat rows, Like sometimes it's shimmied where it's closer to the person, like a person has their own window, and then there's like a weird hybrid window that's sort of mine and sort of theirs. It's just asking for a fucking argument. It's just asking for a fucking argument like that person and it's past agabat. It's like more like you need a lawyer, We need like a mediator on the plane, because it's more it's closer to them. But the glare of the sun it provides is on me. The real estate of the sun and the light that it provides is eighty five percent mine. The handle of it is eighty five percent theirs. So I sometimes when someone's sleeping out a sneak my hand and like shut. I'm like, they're not gonna care, and they're already sleeping, and why didn't they want to shut anyway if they had intention of going to sleep, And maybe they're those sleepers that can just sleep on their own or they have eyemasks. I don't fucking know. I don't live with them, I didn't pack with them. I don't give a good fuck, and I don't have a lawyer. But I'm shutting that shit because if a window is in my eyes and I'm gonna like have sun in it, it needs to shut. But it gets tricky, I'll just like stick my hand up and like take liberty and shut it. I haven't gotten fucked. Sometimes you get into a little fight with someone passag or someone will like put it up like this, like they need it up a little warm. I'm like, the sun is still in my eyes. Someone said to me, oh, well, we're gonna pass that soon, like we're in the clouds. We're gonna come out soon. I'm like, oh the fuck are you? Like Al Roker? Now, I know I'm an angry woman and it comes to playing conduct and it's not checking by my window. I'm a violating contact with the light, like singing my corneas. Forget it.