Holiday season, So a lot to say about that because people get sad and if there's so much pressure, where are we going what are we doing? Do we get a good enough gift? Are they going to like the gift? How are we going to do the presents for our kids? And you know I have I'm divorced, So it's like when do we do this sort of fake Christmas night and open up the presents earlier but still make it special? And where Santa coming and the shipping and receiving and the packing and the boxing and the wasting of paper and the Federal Express person every day, and it's just like there's a lot that goes on and people do feel sad during the holidays. I mean it's the holidays and people are really going through a lot of pain. And I remember there being there being holidays where I felt alone and like a loser and don't have a family and don't have any place to go. And then if you do have a place to go, people will remind you of where you are in your life and how married you are or aren't or um you know who's married to someone who has a drinking problem or someone who has a substance abuse problem, or who's not married and you know, who's overweight and people are talking about that, who doesn't look good? That's a time to see people. We saw this person of the holidays, they weren't looking good. I saw them over Christmas? What did someone bring to eat? And was it enough? And they came over to our house and they're not going to their house. And last year we you know, the kids are coming and they always go to the in law's house, and why don't they come to our house? And it's just like it's honestly endless grief. Give yourself a fucking break. Think about it. All of that stuff is probably really going to happen to you alone, you know. But of course January is coming, and that's when all your problems are going to get solved. That's when, like you know, a unicorn is going to come in with a tape measure and a green juice and all of your problems will be solved because you're gonna be an equinox in a neon headband doing aerobics January second, no doubt. So give yourself a fucking break because none of that, none of the ship matters. Do what you want to do. Take a breath, relax, drink the water between the drinks. Alcohol is not water. It feels like it is because you just want to drink it, and it feels like it's quenching your thirst. And then you say things you don't mean. You do things you're going to regret. You eat things you don't want to eat, and you feel things that you don't want to feel. So try to control just your emotions and things that trigger your emotions, the sugar, the alcohol, that eating, the conversations. You know, someone says something to you. Take a breath, stand up, take a walk. Clearer minds will prevail. There's no reason to engage. Don't take the bait um, don't overextend yourself financially because it's the holidays and you have to go overboard and you're gonna fix that next year too. I think I don't believe in resolutions. I think they're too extreme. But I do believe in reflection, and that's how realistic changes and evolution happens. I don't believe in resolution, I believe in evolution, so I believe in changing dynamics. I just had a situation where someone spoke to me in a way that has been unacceptable in the past. It has affected a friendship in the past, and I have said that it was unaccept acceptable and it's a reason we didn't speak for a while. Some dynamics start in the beginning. Did they start when you were a kid with a parent, Did they start in high school with a friend, Did they start at work with a coworker, Did they start with a spouse or an in law or whatever it is. But these dynamics make it that people think that they can act and speak in a way that you've always accepted. What if your father or your mother always spoke to you in a certain way, no matter how old you are, and you could be so successful, but you still think it's acceptable for them to speak to that way because that's the way it is, and that's how they are. Oh, he's just angry, he's that's just how he is. It doesn't mean it. Well, I say, don't accept being spoken to or treated in a way that's unacceptable to you. It happened to me that I was with someone that has in the past treated me in a way that is unacceptable, and I didn't accept it. I exited the situation and I just said, it's it's unacceptable to be spoken to this way. And you know, I now learned what gaslighting is. I never know what gaslighting was. Gaslighting is with somebody projects their ship onto you and makes you feel like it's you and you've done something or you're wrong. And when your mind gets organized and clear, certainly not when you've had six strengths. When your mind is organized and clear, you think to yourself, wait a second, I literally didn't do anything wrong, and I literally don't deserve that. And that's when you get organized and you collect and you don't allow it to happen. And and it's very powerful when a person who has been able to act a certain way to somebody gets away with it, and then that person who is effectively it's it's like another kind of bullying, that person just doesn't accept it anymore. It's very very powerful, and it's it's it shocks everything to the core. So don't accept less than what you deserve. I would say what I say to my daughter, which is, you know, thinking before you speak is also because you could be someone could be doing something that is totally inappropriate and totally incorrect, and you could make yourself wrong by the way you react, So just think before you react, and you know, break the chain in dynamics, and that goes for work, that goes for friendships, it goes for family. It's very it's important.

Holiday season, So a lot to say about that because people get sad and if there's so much pressure, where are we going what are we doing? Do we get a good enough gift? Are they going to like the gift? How are we going to do the presents for our kids? And you know I have I'm divorced, So it's like when do we do this sort of fake Christmas night and open up the presents earlier but still make it special? And where Santa coming and the shipping and receiving and the packing and the boxing and the wasting of paper and the Federal Express person every day, and it's just like there's a lot that goes on and people do feel sad during the holidays. I mean it's the holidays and people are really going through a lot of pain. And I remember there being there being holidays where I felt alone and like a loser and don't have a family and don't have any place to go. And then if you do have a place to go, people will remind you of where you are in your life and how married you are or aren't or um you know who's married to someone who has a drinking problem or someone who has a substance abuse problem, or who's not married and you know, who's overweight and people are talking about that, who doesn't look good? That's a time to see people. We saw this person of the holidays, they weren't looking good. I saw them over Christmas? What did someone bring to eat? And was it enough? And they came over to our house and they're not going to their house. And last year we you know, the kids are coming and they always go to the in law's house, and why don't they come to our house? And it's just like it's honestly endless grief. Give yourself a fucking break. Think about it. All of that stuff is probably really going to happen to you alone, you know. But of course January is coming, and that's when all your problems are going to get solved. That's when, like you know, a unicorn is going to come in with a tape measure and a green juice and all of your problems will be solved because you're gonna be an equinox in a neon headband doing aerobics January second, no doubt. So give yourself a fucking break because none of that, none of the ship matters. Do what you want to do. Take a breath, relax, drink the water between the drinks. Alcohol is not water. It feels like it is because you just want to drink it, and it feels like it's quenching your thirst. And then you say things you don't mean. You do things you're going to regret. You eat things you don't want to eat, and you feel things that you don't want to feel. So try to control just your emotions and things that trigger your emotions, the sugar, the alcohol, that eating, the conversations. You know, someone says something to you. Take a breath, stand up, take a walk. Clearer minds will prevail. There's no reason to engage. Don't take the bait um, don't overextend yourself financially because it's the holidays and you have to go overboard and you're gonna fix that next year too. I think I don't believe in resolutions. I think they're too extreme. But I do believe in reflection, and that's how realistic changes and evolution happens. I don't believe in resolution, I believe in evolution, so I believe in changing dynamics. I just had a situation where someone spoke to me in a way that has been unacceptable in the past. It has affected a friendship in the past, and I have said that it was unaccept acceptable and it's a reason we didn't speak for a while. Some dynamics start in the beginning. Did they start when you were a kid with a parent, Did they start in high school with a friend, Did they start at work with a coworker, Did they start with a spouse or an in law or whatever it is. But these dynamics make it that people think that they can act and speak in a way that you've always accepted. What if your father or your mother always spoke to you in a certain way, no matter how old you are, and you could be so successful, but you still think it's acceptable for them to speak to that way because that's the way it is, and that's how they are. Oh, he's just angry, he's that's just how he is. It doesn't mean it. Well, I say, don't accept being spoken to or treated in a way that's unacceptable to you. It happened to me that I was with someone that has in the past treated me in a way that is unacceptable, and I didn't accept it. I exited the situation and I just said, it's it's unacceptable to be spoken to this way. And you know, I now learned what gaslighting is. I never know what gaslighting was. Gaslighting is with somebody projects their ship onto you and makes you feel like it's you and you've done something or you're wrong. And when your mind gets organized and clear, certainly not when you've had six strengths. When your mind is organized and clear, you think to yourself, wait a second, I literally didn't do anything wrong, and I literally don't deserve that. And that's when you get organized and you collect and you don't allow it to happen. And and it's very powerful when a person who has been able to act a certain way to somebody gets away with it, and then that person who is effectively it's it's like another kind of bullying, that person just doesn't accept it anymore. It's very very powerful, and it's it's it shocks everything to the core. So don't accept less than what you deserve. I would say what I say to my daughter, which is, you know, thinking before you speak is also because you could be someone could be doing something that is totally inappropriate and totally incorrect, and you could make yourself wrong by the way you react, So just think before you react, and you know, break the chain in dynamics, and that goes for work, that goes for friendships, it goes for family. It's very it's important.