Volleyball costs $10K now?!?! Pre-season?! Plus: Restaurant Reservations Shenanigans.
Let's discuss kids sports, let's discuss club sports. I was out to dinner with someone who played professional sports in college, like legit, and has multiple children who are athletes. I only have one child who's an athlete. But I'm pretty sure, and I could be wrong. I could be low. I believe that last year the club volleyball was eight thousand dollars. And then there are like all these pluses, meaning your uniforms all this time. How much was Britin's volleyball last year? Eight thousand? Right? Okay, so my daughter's volleyball was ten thousand. Her name is not Gabrielle Reese, Okay, just you know. And why do I know that? Because Gabrielle Reese has been interviewed on this very podcast and their voices don't sound the same and they're not the same height. And I didn't give birth to Gabrielle Reese because she wouldn't fit inside my body. So it was ten dollars for club volleyball. And it's we gotta buy the fucking chairs, we gotta go in there, we gotta like get do the snacks, and whose day is pizza to day? And then you gotta pay for them to fly to fucking France or the passport like it's a thing. Okay, So now I'm speaking to someone else and they have multiple children, so that could mean thirty g's a year for your kids to be in club sports? Like how many people's kids are Simon and Biles. I'm just curious how many people become Olympic professional athletes? How many kids do you know that become Tiger Woods? Not to be negative, and I don't mean to be rude, I'm not gonna tell Brenda's I don't think she's going to be a professional volleyball player. I really don't. So like I feel like, what would you spend on your child knowing they're not gonna be a pro? Like I wouldn't. I'm gonna spend more than five hundred dollars for activities, but like ten grand plus plus plus I am. I am a wealthy woman who's frugal but like has nice things. I still think it's insane. So someone else was saying to me that they think it's kind of a scam. And addition, now you fucked me on the ten thousand. Guess where else I got fucked? You want to hear? Now I'm minding my own business, just living my summer. Not gonna wear white after Labor Day. I'm following the rules. It's a memorial day, it's Labor Day. I'm gonna wear red, white and blue. I'm going to enjoy my summer. Fourth of July, we're gonna barbecue. We're gonna make a cake with red, white and blue. The blueberries, the strawberries. We do all right, Okay, we're doing it right. We're following the fucking rules. Okay, Labor Day gonna be annoyed. We'll drive back, hit gem pop traffic, and then Britin's gonna go to school the next day. School supplies, pencil, case, backpack, you name it. I got it, no problem. Now. My assistant's like, you got to be back on the nineteenth for pre season. What do you talk? What do you what do you do preseason for what we're talking about? Preseason for my chicken breast for Labor Day? What do you mean preseason like pre seasoning? What you gotta go back? We got you gotta go back. You gotta leave your vacation and you're going back home because you're gonna do a week of her going to sports every day and so she's going to the school. She's having lunch in the cafeteria. That's school. I don't care whether what she's learning. She's going to school, she's going to her campus. That's a scam. I am prepared for Labor Day. I can handle that. I've gotten. We've been trained with that our whole lives. Who's snuck this in? Now? It's like the four day work week. It's like the work from home person that refuses to come in. Now, summer's over August nineteenth, and I hear people in the South are going like the tenth what no. I protest. I protest the money. I protest the invasion, the invasiveness. Someone said to me the other day, they're ripping families apart because you got one kid doing club this sport, the other kid doing that club sport. Parents are in different directions. They're getting divorces because they're not seeing each other, because they're driving to different auditoriums and stadiums and convention centers and different sports and different places, fucking other people's husbands because that person is on the same sports team as your kid, and your husband is nowhere near you because he's at the hockey rink at six in the morning with your kid getting snacks doing that. He's fucking the hockey mom. It's ripping us all apart. It's so true. This guy who said this to me was true. It's ripping us apart. Why because it's costing us ten thousand per kid. We're going broke. We're fucking pre seasoning not our food, but we're pre seasoning our children. And now we're not seeing our spouses. So now we're having affairs with sports parents from other sports. No, I protest, no summer ends at Labor Day sports squeeze in, figure it out, and then subsports. If you miss any you're not on the team anymore. President's weekend immediately. No, you're not fucking with my President's weekend. What are you talking about. I've never been more patriotic in my life. It's President's weekend. Some people do sports on Thanksgiving weekend. It's Unamerican. This whole thing is Unamerican, and it's Unamerican. They need like a separate section like you're in the could be an Olympic athlete, gifted child that we see promise in section. You can play sports on Thanksgiving because you're gonna be living in a fifty million dollar house in the Hampton's when you're in when you're older, and you're gonna have much longer summer vacations because your whole life is gonna be a summer vacation. Because you're gonna have a yacht so you can pay on the front end. You don't need Thanksgiving Sunday. You're gonna be rich and a billionaire and you're gonna have spokesperson deals for Nike and Puma. But the rest of you schleppers that are not gonna be Olympic athletes. Enjoy your summer, Enjoy your President's weekend, Enjoy your ten thousand dollars. You're gonna need it. You're not gonna be Tiger Woods or some own Biles or Gabrielle Reese. Deal with it. Oh my god, let me tell you something drives me fucking crazy. Walk up to a restaurant five point forty five at night, No kidding, I'm an early dinner girl, especially with brain. We're hungry, we're going, we put our cute outfits on. We're dressed for each other. They were on a romantic date with one another, and we don't care, and we go we want to sit down, we want to eat. That's it. We go places it's empty. We could go to any restaurant in the country. We can get into Nobu Carbone, we could get into freaking four Charles Prime. Why because we're going for the Blue Plate Special, the Blue Hair Blue Plate Special. Show up to the host of Stand five forty five on a weekday and the hostess, Hi, do you have a reservation? No, we don't. I think we might have. But the name, Okay, what's the name? Mickey Mass and Donald Duck? I don't remember. Okay, do you know the name? You know what name? I know? Four hundred tables. It's a fucking empty stadium. Right here. I see two people that are ninety seven years old, each like eating and shore out of a bowl with a spoon, like we're good, Like we don't have to do that, and then like, okay, but do you remember what it was? I don't know. I don't know what it was. I don't know. Look at the hieroglyphics in front of you. I don't know what it was in But it's irrelevant because no one's here. I don't like this. This is why I bought an apartment in New York City again, because it feels like going to a hotel transacting. Hi, can I get your room key? Hey? What time? Oh no, we have check in, but it's checkout is at that time? Oh? Hi, you want to call us because we're going to send you some ice in two hours. Like I don't like transacting, and I don't like when, like we have to talk too long to the host to stand about something that's irrelevant, Like what do you mean there's nobody's city. She's like, oh yeah, it doesn't matter. Fuck your fuck reservations. It's five forty five. You get a prize, and you get a prize. Sit down. I don't know why. It's like a grating thing. It's like when someone says, what's your water preference? What? What's yours? A water preferences that I pay thirty six dollars for a bottle of water that is from a toilet bowl in a green bottle. That's what I am, the label, that's that's what i'd like. I'd like that bottle. I mean, I just want water and I just want to sit down a five forty five. I'll be a great old person that can marry Larry David When he's one hundred and seven years old. You're welcome. Don't do to be to be a done to be after