Just B Rant: Super Rant

Published Feb 14, 2024, 5:00 AM

Bethenny tackles the Super Bowl! Get her post game take on Travis and his potential future plans with Taylor…as well as her deep insight into Mama Kelce’s behavior. 

Oh my god, Travis Kelsey's mom is grabbing the ziplock bag. Okay, the money's flowing all the way downwards. Like Travis Kelsey's neighbor in the cul de Sac is gonna be grabbing a ziplock bag. So Donna Kelcey, Travis's mom, walks into the stadium with a tote bag with a ziplock box coming out of it. She's got fucking plastic in her purse, She's got you know, cling, She's got plastic in her purse, not her credit card, but ziplock plastic. She's got a box of clothes ziplock bags, and she's got pizza in another bag that she's holding. Because I know the photographer that took the picture. I'll bet you dollars to donuts. I know the photographer because he's that photographer. He pays celebrities to show up at supermarket holding you know, silk, chocolate milk or you know eitos yogurt or good dive of chocolate, and like the magazines will buy it because we want the pictures of the celebrity. So we've got Travis Kelcey holding a zip block bag of cold fucking pizza. Travis Kelcey is about to win the Super Bowl in a custom because you know, he didn't buy that secret suit off the rack. In a custom outfit had to cost five g's minimum could be ten g's for that outfit just because of his size. Also, whatever that outfit is is normally five thousand, it's ten thousand for him because he's a car that you have to pay extra for to wash. He's an oversized vehicle. So now Travis Kelsey's walking in in a luxury bag, leather, gorgeous bag. I don't know what brand it was, but you know it was ten K and his outfit's ten K. But his mom is bringing him cold pizza to the stadium in the ziploc bags. And I feel offended because I live and die by ziploc bag. I was publicly on national television on the Housewives with my bathing suits, my bikinis organized and kept together in ziploc bags. I don't see a fucking contract. I don't see anyone wanted to take my picture of my purse with ziplock bags coming out, and I use ziplock bags on the regular. I have been public about a pouch lifestyle. I separate everything by pouches. Want to protect your iPad, stick it in a pouch. Want you want to not fuck up the inside of your purse. Stick all that makeup in a pouch. You want to protect your sunglasses, but you don't want to have a big enough You know you don't have a purse big enough to put the big sunglass cage. Put in a pouch, in a sunglass case, put it in a pouch. But Donna Kelcey is cashing in in the smash and grab job. She's got cold pizza for the most famous football player in the country right now, and he's gonna eat cold pizza. Fucking spark steak. We'll send a woggy you deep tissue truffle oil massage steak right to the stadium. Are you kidding me? There's every steakhouse, Every famous steakhouse in the world is in Vegas. Salt Bay. He'll fucking do an exfoliating salt scrub on a cow, then kill it, then then cut it up for its meat and bring it to Travis Cow. Actually, Salt Bay will salt exfoliate and do a salt scrub on a cow. Walk that cow on a leash into the stadium show the cow to Travis at halftime, ask him what part of the cow he wants? Does he want it? Deep massage? Does he want it? Hot stone massage? Does he want it? Uh to be? What a shiatsu massage? What kind of massage do you want on your cow? Okay, great, we're gonna take it. We're gonna kill it in the wild. Then we're gonna cut it up, and then we're gonna and Salt Bay chef is gonna cook it. I don't think you're gonna be eating fucking pizza out of ziplock bag, Travis Kelcey. But no Donna kelce cashing in and grabbing the ziplock bag. Get it while it's cold, Ladies and gentlemen, Viva Las Vegas. Like now what we expect Travis Kelcey to be poised and delicate? All I want to know is what Travis and Taylor are wearing to the megala. And you know what, she's best friends with Blake Lively. She's got the sickest fashion mentor ever. I think about that because people do criticize Taylor for her style. Maybe Blake is gatekeeping her fashion. I don't know, but Blake is my favorite, and her fashion is my favorite, and her mecchal looks up chef's kiss. So she could be the fact she and Ryan Goslin can be the fashion mentors to Travis and Taylor. You heard it here. I'm going. I'm going to the Mech Gala. Get ready with me to go to the mech Gala. Okay, couples hitting their prime in their fifties. I'm watching Ben Affleck. She's having fun with him. She was in one of the commercials with him. J Lo. He's having fun, like he's making fun of the fact that he was sitting at the table at the award show with her and seems miserable. Like they're leaning into the humor. They're having an emotional and a humor glow up. Ben Affleck and j Lo in their fifties are in their humorous prime as a couple. Like they're elevating each other. They're having a humor personality glow up together. It's the same thing that's happening with the Beckhams. Like David and Victoria Beckham are not taking themselves too seriously. They're in their fifties, they're having an emotional or high forties. I don't know. They're emotional glow up together. It's like an entertainment humor glow up, not taking themselves too seriously. You know, Jayla has always been like a diva and perfect, and Victoria Beckham is like not smiling and perfect, and she and Dave Beckham seemed perfection. And it's just like, I'm loving these couples together, like all boats rising with the tide. They're more flawed. They're letting you into something not their real personal lives, but they're letting you into something humorous. They're letting you be part of the joke. They're talking about something you made fun of them for. They're leaning into something you would make fun of them for. If Victoria Beckham was just sitting there saying I grew up poor and then you thought about the fact that her father had a Rolls Royce or somebody came out that went to high school with her and on TikTok decided to do a video about that, she'd be canceled. Instead, they're laughing. Her husband's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You grew up with the Rolls Royce. They're joking about it. Ben probably was miserable at the awards dinner. But it's their own fucking relationship. But it's their own business. So instead, what's happening is they're leaning into it and Ben's making fun of it in the name of Duncan Donuts. In the name of donuts, Ben is taking a piss out of himself. He's from Boston, he doesn't really give a good fuck. He's having fun. They're both having fun. I'm obsessed what other couples are having emotional, humorous glow ups. As an older couple,

Rants with Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel tells it like it is. RANT Definition: speak or shout at length in a wild, impassio 
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