Just B Rant: Splitting the Afflecks

Published Jan 11, 2024, 5:00 AM

Bethenny shares what will most likely be a very polarizing observation and opinion about J.Lo and Ben Affleck.  Which side will you fall on? …and what does it mean for their relationship? 

Plus, Bethenny reveals more from her holiday getaways!

Does anyone else find Jennifer Lopez so much more interesting because of Ben Affleck, Like she's the big, mega, glittery, shiny pink diamond star, right, But for some reason, he's that to me in their relationship, like he's the one behind lurking in the shadows that for that reason, my eyes are all on him, just his unbothered misshaven zero fox, dispassionate, unflappable, usually persona that seems really authentic, the Boston of.

It all, the Duncan of it all.

You know, he's that guy in college that just doesn't give a shit that the girls like because he's like half a mess. I just love it and it's so intriguing, and I know firsthand, like I know firsthand that since they were broken up, that he was always the one that got away, And it really is an amazing story that they're back together. And I'm sure it's flawed and imperfect, just like every relationship, particularly in our fifties, Like that's when you really realize that every relationship has issues and is flawed and requires therapy and work, and it's just like a different mold than when you're young and everything is supposed to be so pristine and perfect and fairy tale. And so when the road doesn't take you right on that fairy tale, you give up because it takes so many years to realize as an adult that with divorce and kids and imperfections and careers and loss and money and in that case, addiction and all that, that like life is just beautifully flawed. And I've heard a lot of people talk about that. I recently heard Neil Patrick Harris comment on his secret to marriage, which is kind of saying that, like, if you think it's going to go in one direction, then that's not for you. Like the secret to success is that it's not necessarily success, that it's imperfect, and that you have to ride the roller coaster, which was something in the movie Parenthood. There was a movie Parenthood, a Ron Howard movie with Steve Martin and a bunch of great actors, and the grandmothers explaining that she likes the roller coaster and she's kind of, you know, it's an analogy.

To life, like that the life is life is a roller coaster.

And so Neil Patrick Harris was talking about the secrets to his eighteen year relationship and basically, you know, letting us know that it's imperfect. And recently Pink was talking about her relationship and the twists and turns and when she got together with her husband, how she didn't know anything about commitment or honor in relationship or probably fidelity. And you know, they've been on the road together and it's a choice. You just made that choice. So j Lo and Ben kind of are imperfect. And I like that you sometimes see them seemingly argue on the street, even though they're probably not really arguing. I saw Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn recently in an interview saying basically the same thing, that like, you're gonna cry, you're gonna laugh, you're gonna hate each other, you're going to swell, you know, together, and then you're going to pull apart. And I think it's the people that have all these high expectations and think that it's supposed to be perfect and it's supposed to be easy. They're the ones that fail and the ones that realize that success is knowing that a relationship will be fraught with heartache and some failure, and that it's about commitment and stick to itiveness if it's what you want and if you're on the same path and if it's a common goal and if you want to be sitting on the bench next to that person, you know when you're lucky enough.

To be in your eighties.

It's really that. So there's something about the ben and Jen of it that I really like. Like I'm just more interested in her now because of him, which is interesting. She's always been the peacock, but to me, he's the peacock for me in the relationship. I'm just always watching what scruffy, you know, sloppy imperfectness he's throwing out there.

I just like it.

I just think it's also completely hilarious and ridiculous that now he's a recovering addict, she's with him.

She's never been a drinker.

Now she has an alcohol brand, and now she's doing tequila shots on the Golden Globes red carpet. It makes no sense, like either she's doing the shots because she wants to prove that she drinks, because she's selling a cocktail or it's just a great time to start drinking when you're in a relationship with someone who's an addict, which almost ruined their career even though you never drank.

And that was one of your main secrets.

It's called who the hell knows? Well, we're back in the swing of it with twenty twenty four. I do feel more renewed than usual. I think it's also getting older and wiser and just realizing what's important. But this was definitely a positive holiday. It made me want to slow down, It made me grateful, It made me really appreciate being in the moment with my daughter, loving travel. I have so many different New Year's resolutions, which is great because I usually have none. I usually don't believe in them, but I just feel that I'm in the spirit of just wanting to do better and be better. And I would say that I want to work less. That means working smarter, not harder. It doesn't mean just sitting around. It just means sometimes we flap our wings and get our feathers all ruffled and get crazy over things we don't need to and exhaust ourselves and we don't really get more dumb that way. In fact, we just exhaust ourselves. So just to work more efficiently, I was impulsive over the holiday season. I first took my daughter on a trip snowboarding, which was planned, but then just in the moment realizing how much I had worked this year and how I just felt like I wanted to reward myself and her and just be present and be grateful and do something really special for us. I just said, let's just go you and I to somewhere that is clear water. And we ended up going away to Turks and Caicos, and I've never really planned a trip like the day before. In that manner that was really special, and it was kind of like I was celebrating my success and being able to do that beforetune enough to do that, and that I really am about the experience of my daughter more than the spoiling.

I refuse to have a spoiled.

Child, and I'm very much on the case of keeping her in line and trying to keep her grounded despite the amazing opportunities that life with me as a mother does provide.

We were an Aspen.

I saw the first lunch that Brennan and I had, or one of the first lunches, we ran into Kyle's daughters. Farah Alexia Portia wasn't there. Sophia was there, and it was really nice, Like it's just crazy to run into Farah, who's a grown woman who was engaged and has a business and is successful, and that I really did know when she was four years old. And I can picture her with her little short, cute little haircut, giggling and thinking I was so funny. When she was four, she used to giggle at me because I used to be just as crazy as I am now with Kyle, and like I was the entertainment committee.

And I just remember Farah in.

The back seat of Kyle's big, gigantic Mercedes, like a like a big boat that choose to drive, which was just funny even then, and Sarah was in the back seat and we used to laugh, and we were in our twenties, and I think my car at the time was a Ford Probe, and oh my god, I remember Kyle and I like just going out to nightclubs and I remember meeting more Reese and it's just crazy to hang out with Farah and then her sisters, and I really like all of them. They honestly are sweet, They're charming, they're nice girls. They were so sweet to Brin like, they have a good energy. It's infectious. It made me proud of Kyle as a mom. Like I just I like it. I love when I'm an Aspen and I run into Kyle and the girls because it's like not labs or New York BS, which means probably housewives, BS.

And entertainment industry.

It's just like seeing them in Aspen is just a different element. It is superficial because it's Aspen, and Aspen has a superficial aspect, but in a very fun and the best possible way. And so I just like when I see Kyle and like, it's just about us as women and how many years we've known each other and the history, and you know, we both have our guard ups sometimes in life because we've both been in this space and we've been on different sides of it. And she's stayed in this genre for such a long time, and as a veteran, and I was, you know, in and out and fickle and flippant and obviously rebellious about it. I was there earlier than her, but she's stayed much longer, and we just come from different sides of it. But we have a history long before that, which I find interesting. And I think that when we're in the nonsense of the media and Instagram and TV shows and talk shows and press and nonsense, then it can get into our head. But when it's just us and we see each other, we always really care about each other, connect with each other, and definitely trust each other.

Like I always am moved by the.

Fact that I know that Kyle trusts me no matter what. There's nothing she wouldn't tell me. And you know, over the years since we were in our twenties, there's probably almost nothing she hasn't told me.

And I'm of vault. That's one thing everybody knows.

And I've said this over and over again, like there are people that I've been on the Housewives with that I definitely do not care for that. I know things about that I would never share, and things about Andy and the entertainment industry and the powers that be, And.

I'm just old school with that.

I'm not one of these people that would ever show someone's texts or dms, Like I don't believe in that. I don't believe in screenshotting something someone sent you. I just have like a code that is just very very old school, maybe growing up at the racetrack. Maybe you know, I don't fuck around and snitches get stitches. So yeah, and we know a lot on each other and to that end, Mauricio was also in Aspen, and it was nice to see him. And I'm just, you know, like, what goes on between someone and their spouse of several decades is really no one else's business. Yes, they're on reality shows, Yes they've chosen this path of entertainment. Yes they live in LA Yes they're an Aspen and so people speculate about them. But I am definitely moved by the fact that they have a history together and that they together have raised these amazing girls, and that they as a unit despite all the individual elements that unit is comprised of, they are a family unit, whether now traditional or non traditional, which for a long time, I haven't really believed in traditional that much. I think it's evolved and changed so much because people are realizing that they just want to be happy and find their own happiness, and people have to be on their own journey while realizing that they're in relationship with someone else who's on their own journey. So it's sometimes hard for everyone's journey to align, and sometimes you get off the road and get back on and you know, have differences or find each other again, et cetera.

But I just really like that they are away.

As a family unit. You know, they glued to each other every second. No, but they're grown ass women and men with grown ass women children, And I like that they will have a family dinner, and I like that they have.

All this history.

And you do not ever know what's going to happen in life, like you really just don't. Who knows what happens with Kyle Maurice when they're in their eighties and nineties and their kids have their own kids, and Kyle and Maurice have grandkids, Like I just respect and honor the fact that they've been together for multiple decades, also on reality TV, also in LA also in the entertainment industry, with high profile families, and they have nice kids who I like and who I like to run into. So that was something that was really nice for me, just to see Kyle and talk to her. And also for me like I it's very obvious to everyone around me that I just have nothing to prove and there's nothing that anybody has that I want, and there's no money that can buy me, there's no deal that can buy me. I'm really at a place in my life where I'm just doing exactly what I want and Kyle and I were very honest with each other about different circumstances in our lives and careers, and it was just a nice moment. So that just felt like really good and clean and connected. And like I said, I loved seeing Maurice and proud of him and his dancing with the stars and just proud of all of that. And it was also nice to be there with Brynn because Kyle and her daughters love seeing Brynn, and it's just crazy that we both have daughters that, you know, minds my younger, but still, I mean, Portia is only a year or two older than Britain, But you know, I just think there's something about that knowing someone for so long and both of us having daughters. So it was really nice to see them and nostalgic, and I've spent other Christmas Holidays getting to spend time with them, and that was definitely a highlight, as was the Bomby and me trip to Turks and Caicos. And then Paul and I had a really nice grounding trip to Puerto Rico, which is also really meaningful for me because I did I think it was like fifty three planes in and out of Puerto Rico, and I did myself so many missions between rescuing people and rescuing dogs and being in the mountains and seeing people up to their you know, ankles in disgusting, filthy water and they had no electricity and they had no clean water, and it was a real disaster there, and Hurricane Maria decimated that island and they are survivors. And it's nice to see the island, albeit a more privileged part of the island and at a resort, but just see the place in general as a place that's got a spirit and a soul and that is thriving and that you know, I had to intervene with myself and say it's okay to this time enjoy this island for personal reasons and you know, like pleasure versus relief work, and to be proud of Puerto Ricans for being resilient and fighting back and rebuilding and being proud.

That was a nice finish to the vacation.

It was really a very indulgent vacation and I just said, we're doing it.

I'm enjoying it.

And I had so many different aspects to it, Like there was Bret and I and there was cold and there was snowboarding and you know, working out, which I never really do, and like doing something that exerts yourself more. And then there was just pure like three day impulsive indulgence with Britain. And then there was connecting with Paul. And you know, I'm going to travel.

More and I'm going to enjoy more.

And I'm unapologetic about wanting to work less, work differently, work smarter, not necessarily harder. I have a couple of new developments this year, not only in business but in personal and real estate.

I got a place in New York City that I'll tell you guys.

About, and I'm changing locations in the Hamptons for a different lifestyle that I'll tell you guys about. But just kind of really in the era of doing exactly what I want to do and what makes me happy, and sticking with my original resolution of not controlling anyone or anything else besides myself and of course my daughter, and not participating in anything that is soul crushing, like we do so many things for other people out of obligation, and doing things that we don't want to do that are obligations doesn't really serve anyone, certainly, not us, but it doesn't even serve other people because you're not doing it out.

Of authenticity and integrity.

And so to do things out of integrity and with intention, to me is something that is really really important. Doesn't mean you're selfish and running around not doing things for other people. It just means that if you are doing things out of truth and not obligation, you'll just be a happier person, and the contribution of being happier is way greater to society.

Rants with Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel tells it like it is. RANT Definition: speak or shout at length in a wild, impassio 
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