So the reality reckoning. There is an article that just came out in Vanity Fair. A writer named Ann Appeal is writing about what she calls a small corner in this issue of the toxicity and reality TV, and the article basically is through highlighting Ebonie Williams Leah, a little bit about me, a little bit about Jill, a little bit about Sonya, a lot about Bravo and it's production companies, specifically Shed Media, who produced New York Housewives, a lot about that production company and how women's mental health and addiction and drinking and just their rights are violated and not really valued, and that Bravo is trying to now all of a sudden, like close up holes in a boat that have been there for decades, to clean up a mess that is getting out of control with this reckoning. People in the comments will say to me what they've said, You bit the hand that feeds you. Now you're not profiting off this machine, so you want off, so you want to take it down. I could have been profiting. I walked away from a reality show that I had that was basically greenlit this year. I walked away. I have all the receipts, so to my lawyers, and I walked away from the show. So you could tell me a million times that I profited off of this. True, you could tell me that I was part of this, as I said in the article. True, you can't tell me that I'm trying to take down something because I couldn't monetize it. Because I could have gone back anytime I wanted. I was invited to go back anytime I wanted. That's a fact. So come for me. But you can't land it. If you're going to take a shot at this bee, you better not miss. You cannot land it. And the thing is a lot these women in this article, whether it's Ebony or Leah, really Leah. Leah came in fragile with challenges. She came in wu a little bit wounded and this took her out. And there are other people in this franchise, like Brandy, like Danielle, like others who have gone through different traumas, divorces, like a Camille, people that this medium really really profits off of and capitalizes and exploits the really vulnerable aspects in someone's life. Like this person's coming in. They're teetering on falling off the wagon. So let's push her. Let's let's let that will be the most entertaining, or this person's a train wreck going through a divorce and they just got cheated on, so let's exploit that. You know, it's not like an environment that builds women up. It's an environment that really could push you off the edge, or could really empower someone like me who could clean up the floor with all these women, you know, like I was part of it, and as the article says, I guess this might be part of my penance and about this reality reckoning. Now you have a lot of housewives coming out and awkwardly speaking for the realm. You have Leah Black who acted like she didn't understand what I was talking about in doing this. Luanne who also she's had a wonderful, pleasant experience and nothing's ever gone wrong, you know, like not like when they exploited her affairs, or when she went to jail, or when she was drinking, or when that was all on the show, or when people like Candy who are currently employed there saying if there was something wrong that they did to her. She's a strong woman. She can handle herself, and she would say something. Erica Jane saying something very similar. These women aren't helping other women. They all know what we're talking about. We've all seen it. And when the music turns on us and it's bad for us, that's when we get really upset, or when Sonya's taking pills, or when Raquel's go into an emotional health facility. Like only when the music turns really bad on you do you then feel what I'm talking about. But if you could turn it back and get the mute and get the shit to slap on somebody else, and then you can make more money. You don't want to betray the realm and the leaders of this cult because you want to make the money, to come out publicly, to act like they don't know this is happening. It's not true. And I applaud the women who have publicly said that this is important. The Gina from I Think It's Orange County, Garcel Bouvey currently employed by them, Cynthia Bailey often employed by them, like I give them credit for speaking up, Kathy Wakeuiel commenting on my posts and then Anniny leaks, Jill Zarn coming on the podcast, and I applaud a number of people who've called me quietly to discuss what's going on with the and to want help and to say I know I've been perpetuating this, and I know I'm part of it, and I feel like a hypocrite and I'm scared, but I want to talk. I give them a lot of credit. You cannot expect everybody to come forward, but for people to come forward and proactively act like they don't know what's going on, that can be damaging. And Arianna did a post saying like I did a special post at US Weekly, posted about how production only pays for the first two drinks and really being like a good Bravo soldier in coming out to basically make it like vander pumpt Rules has not been fueled by alcohol and fueled by scandal and affairs. You know. I mean, we can't close our eyes, but it doesn't mean it's not happening. Also on the group of people that acted like nothing's going on, as Kate Chastain, there's a theme if you're making money on this medium and profiting from this realm, you're one of the few people acting like you don't know that this is going on. Matthew Perry passed away. He is another one who's around my age. I watched the first episode of Friends. I remember it, and they were part of our vernacular, our culture. It was such a ground sweeping, iconic success. Jennifer Aniston was all of us. I'm watching her now on the Morning show also, and I'm watching her some of my age. And I've watched Matthew. I've watched Matthew Perry's journey because I know that he had a jet ski accident, got involved in painkillers. I've experienced people who have passed away allegedly because of pain killers and naracan and overdoses and things like that, and it's a struggle, it's a battle. God knows what happened that night, but he played pickaball for two hours and he was in a jacuzzi and got overheated. And I mentioned this because as we get older, we're not as indestructible and we're more vulnerable. And I've had autoimmune issues. I've had pots pots, this thing that many of you educated me on, and I was looking it up. What happens to me personally is I get really dehydrated. I have to constantly drink hydration drinks, and my blood pressure will crash and I'll faint and I've been in a cryo tank and I've fainted, hit the bottom of the tank, like passed out. I've been in a sauna. I don't do this anymore. And my favorite thing is to do sauna and steam and I have one and I don't even use it because I've been in esteem and then come out and then two hours later I faint at dinner, thinking it's because of an allergic reaction, but it's because, you know, my blood pressure has crash, and so you have to know your body. And apparently he was on heart medication. I'm sure he's weakened his heart over all the damage he's done. You know, our hearts are fragile, Our bodies are fragile. We beat them up and we party and we drink and do drugs and eat steak and drink sugar and don't sleep. And you know the young kids are just beating down their bodies. It's glamorized to pound alcohol. It's glamorized to not get sleep. It's glamorized to black out and do an all nighter. And like, we only have one body. And the sadness about him healing and recovering and it's saving his life. And the poor guy is just playing pickleball. And so then he's in a jacuzzi which is so hot, and I'm thinking about he's probably dehydrated. I look this up. Dehydration can weaken your heart. He passed out and he died, and it's just so terribly sad. He was so funny, he seemed so nice. He came out with this amazing book to really talk about his addiction and how it changed his life to be sober. And people who are sober say that that's their number one. It's before family, it's before money, it's before work, it's before God, it's before anything. It's what you have. And so I guess that should just be a message, you know, how we treat our bodies. And it's just so fucking sad. It's just so tragic and so sad. It really is, because it sucks, and it's frustrating when you hear of somebody finally like doing the work and getting to the place and then the goddamn guide dies in a fucking jacuzzie after a pickleball. It's just like not fair. There's this mural that this person Eternal Possessions put on the side of a building in the West Village and so many people sent it to me. It's called mention it All. Apparently this mural artist was on reality shows for years in production, was totally abused. It ruined their life, and they were just putting this up as a message to honor and acknowledge and empower the reality reckoning. And I just didn't feel worthy. I just felt really moving. And it was on this crazy week of mine where I rang the Nasdaq closing bell. Things move so quickly, and things are just little pieces on the board, little marks on the calendar, and not until I get to them do I realized, Wait a second, when was the last time I stopped and really celebrated something that's happening. I'm on three pages of Vanity Fair photographs of me, and it's just like I read it to make sure what it said, and then I move on to like what I'm doing about it. But let's just like sit for a moment and think about the fact that for years, all I would want was to be in Vanity Fair. That's like credible, and all I want is to be on SNL, like that's my dream life. And yes, I've been mentioned and that's been never lost to me, that's one thing I always do revel in. But I go this week to do the closing bell, and I had said to Brinn that she should come because it's super important. And then at the last minute, I said, you know, you have math and I know school is hard right now, and you don't have to come. And I got down. I got to Times Square and I was by myself ringing the bell on behalf of be Strong, and there were lights everywhere I could see Times Square, the windows were open. I was with a few people from my PR team, and I then got exasperated because Brent's school is like thirty five minutes from there, and I was trying to rush and I wanted her to then come because she would have loved it. It was really her too. You know when you taste something and you're just like, I want you to taste this. It's so good. I can't enjoy it unless you taste it. I want you to see this. I can't enjoy it unless you see it. So I was having hard time enjoying it. Paul wasn't bust and I didn't ask him to come. He you know, he he would have absolutely come, and I was not. I was like exactly, it felt like New Year's even Times Square, and I just wanted my daughter to get to me, and I missed her in the crowd, and then she was freaking out because she was feeling guilty and she was realizing how big it was. And I was sending her pictures and she was texting my assistant, and I wasn't present. I wasn't paying attention to what was going on. I was acting like I was paying attention, but inside my body, I was like, oh my god, I'm alone and I'm doing this alone, and I wish my daughter was here, and I was just having displaced anxiety. It was not proportional to what was happening. It was like my whole life gathered and crystallized in this one moment. But then I also had unleashed something. So she was trying to get to me, So she was going to get in the car and go the opposite direction to Times Square when we were going to after this, go all the way back uptown to get her to leave the city. So I was then preoccupied by that. My assistant was trying to take pictures of me trying to talk to Brinn. I was trying to be present. I was trying to listen to what the people were saying there. And I get up and the can explodes and it's all this confetti and all these people are cheering because and then we're in Times Square and my name and name or in this giant much bigger than billboard because it goes the whole side of a building. And it's like the culmination of his career. And I didn't even make a big deal enough about it even to invite people I work with or share it with anyone. I was just like, didn't want to inundate anyone or pose to come to Times Square. And when it was done, I I crumbled. I broke down. I cried for hours. When I mean, it took me out. I was having anxiety, I couldn't sleep, my eyes were swollen. It took me out for two days. I just I said it was the closing bell, but it was a wake up call. It was just like, let's make meaning out of things. I felt so entirely alone. I've always been an insular person. I've always been someone who just likes to be alone and processes alone and id eights alone and works alone. And I, you know, I just it just really hit me. It was extremely bad, powerful. And this guy who's on the stock market, I think he's in the New York Stock Exchange. His Instagram is something like Einstein of Einstein of Wall Street, and he reached out. He said, he went, he's been on Wall Street for years and he's like a little fame. He's got one hundred and something thousand followers, and I guess he had a picture of me when I came to the Stock Exchange to do I think it was Cheddar or a show, and he messaged me and he said I had the exact same experience. It was like a culmination of my career and only certain people get to ring the bell and they gave me the honor, and he said I felt entirely alone, and he was like, I'd love to do a duover for you with you, and it was just like really sweet, even just him reaching out. And then my good friends reached out, people I work with, like a lot of people were like I would have comment. It was just really meaningful. I just wasn't ready to talk right away, and now I've started to connect people about it. It was sort of embarrassing and it was like just like a loser. It was extremely me, you know, so dramatic. So what I want to say is there were many people that reached out. Many moms are reached out saying we strip ourselves, we do for everybody else, and we don't take time to celebrate and you are worthy. And they're saying that they are worthy. And because I don't know if I felt worthy, I don't. Sometimes it feels like it's all you know, the Emperor has no closed imposter syndrome. It wasn't happening at that moment. But just overall, thank you to all the people that reached out to me and felt that. And I don't want them to feel it for me. I want them to feel it for them. I shared it on social media and not because I need them to feel it for me. They were feeling it for themselves, like they were feeling it in their own lives and they needed it. And that's the beautiful power of social media when you can help someone who really needed it in their own life because they don't feel alone. So while I spend a lot of time alone, when there's these big things that I really feel and think, I do want to share them because I want people to feel not alone and women are so powerful and never before have I been connecting to women so strongly, frankly, since I left the show. The show of housewives, when you're surrounded by women, is the worst environment to support other women. It's not designed for that. It's designed to protect yourself, fight for your own and not embrace other women. And since leaving, I'm this leader for all these women that call me every day crying and texting and need support and need help. That reality reckoning is that the environment of Bravo has broken so many women down that already were on their way out. They walked and they're broken down, thinking this was going to lift them up, and this took them out of the knees even lower. And now they're trying to make sense of it and pick up the pieces

So the reality reckoning. There is an article that just came out in Vanity Fair. A writer named Ann Appeal is writing about what she calls a small corner in this issue of the toxicity and reality TV, and the article basically is through highlighting Ebonie Williams Leah, a little bit about me, a little bit about Jill, a little bit about Sonya, a lot about Bravo and it's production companies, specifically Shed Media, who produced New York Housewives, a lot about that production company and how women's mental health and addiction and drinking and just their rights are violated and not really valued, and that Bravo is trying to now all of a sudden, like close up holes in a boat that have been there for decades, to clean up a mess that is getting out of control with this reckoning. People in the comments will say to me what they've said, You bit the hand that feeds you. Now you're not profiting off this machine, so you want off, so you want to take it down. I could have been profiting. I walked away from a reality show that I had that was basically greenlit this year. I walked away. I have all the receipts, so to my lawyers, and I walked away from the show. So you could tell me a million times that I profited off of this. True, you could tell me that I was part of this, as I said in the article. True, you can't tell me that I'm trying to take down something because I couldn't monetize it. Because I could have gone back anytime I wanted. I was invited to go back anytime I wanted. That's a fact. So come for me. But you can't land it. If you're going to take a shot at this bee, you better not miss. You cannot land it. And the thing is a lot these women in this article, whether it's Ebony or Leah, really Leah. Leah came in fragile with challenges. She came in wu a little bit wounded and this took her out. And there are other people in this franchise, like Brandy, like Danielle, like others who have gone through different traumas, divorces, like a Camille, people that this medium really really profits off of and capitalizes and exploits the really vulnerable aspects in someone's life. Like this person's coming in. They're teetering on falling off the wagon. So let's push her. Let's let's let that will be the most entertaining, or this person's a train wreck going through a divorce and they just got cheated on, so let's exploit that. You know, it's not like an environment that builds women up. It's an environment that really could push you off the edge, or could really empower someone like me who could clean up the floor with all these women, you know, like I was part of it, and as the article says, I guess this might be part of my penance and about this reality reckoning. Now you have a lot of housewives coming out and awkwardly speaking for the realm. You have Leah Black who acted like she didn't understand what I was talking about in doing this. Luanne who also she's had a wonderful, pleasant experience and nothing's ever gone wrong, you know, like not like when they exploited her affairs, or when she went to jail, or when she was drinking, or when that was all on the show, or when people like Candy who are currently employed there saying if there was something wrong that they did to her. She's a strong woman. She can handle herself, and she would say something. Erica Jane saying something very similar. These women aren't helping other women. They all know what we're talking about. We've all seen it. And when the music turns on us and it's bad for us, that's when we get really upset, or when Sonya's taking pills, or when Raquel's go into an emotional health facility. Like only when the music turns really bad on you do you then feel what I'm talking about. But if you could turn it back and get the mute and get the shit to slap on somebody else, and then you can make more money. You don't want to betray the realm and the leaders of this cult because you want to make the money, to come out publicly, to act like they don't know this is happening. It's not true. And I applaud the women who have publicly said that this is important. The Gina from I Think It's Orange County, Garcel Bouvey currently employed by them, Cynthia Bailey often employed by them, like I give them credit for speaking up, Kathy Wakeuiel commenting on my posts and then Anniny leaks, Jill Zarn coming on the podcast, and I applaud a number of people who've called me quietly to discuss what's going on with the and to want help and to say I know I've been perpetuating this, and I know I'm part of it, and I feel like a hypocrite and I'm scared, but I want to talk. I give them a lot of credit. You cannot expect everybody to come forward, but for people to come forward and proactively act like they don't know what's going on, that can be damaging. And Arianna did a post saying like I did a special post at US Weekly, posted about how production only pays for the first two drinks and really being like a good Bravo soldier in coming out to basically make it like vander pumpt Rules has not been fueled by alcohol and fueled by scandal and affairs. You know. I mean, we can't close our eyes, but it doesn't mean it's not happening. Also on the group of people that acted like nothing's going on, as Kate Chastain, there's a theme if you're making money on this medium and profiting from this realm, you're one of the few people acting like you don't know that this is going on. Matthew Perry passed away. He is another one who's around my age. I watched the first episode of Friends. I remember it, and they were part of our vernacular, our culture. It was such a ground sweeping, iconic success. Jennifer Aniston was all of us. I'm watching her now on the Morning show also, and I'm watching her some of my age. And I've watched Matthew. I've watched Matthew Perry's journey because I know that he had a jet ski accident, got involved in painkillers. I've experienced people who have passed away allegedly because of pain killers and naracan and overdoses and things like that, and it's a struggle, it's a battle. God knows what happened that night, but he played pickaball for two hours and he was in a jacuzzi and got overheated. And I mentioned this because as we get older, we're not as indestructible and we're more vulnerable. And I've had autoimmune issues. I've had pots pots, this thing that many of you educated me on, and I was looking it up. What happens to me personally is I get really dehydrated. I have to constantly drink hydration drinks, and my blood pressure will crash and I'll faint and I've been in a cryo tank and I've fainted, hit the bottom of the tank, like passed out. I've been in a sauna. I don't do this anymore. And my favorite thing is to do sauna and steam and I have one and I don't even use it because I've been in esteem and then come out and then two hours later I faint at dinner, thinking it's because of an allergic reaction, but it's because, you know, my blood pressure has crash, and so you have to know your body. And apparently he was on heart medication. I'm sure he's weakened his heart over all the damage he's done. You know, our hearts are fragile, Our bodies are fragile. We beat them up and we party and we drink and do drugs and eat steak and drink sugar and don't sleep. And you know the young kids are just beating down their bodies. It's glamorized to pound alcohol. It's glamorized to not get sleep. It's glamorized to black out and do an all nighter. And like, we only have one body. And the sadness about him healing and recovering and it's saving his life. And the poor guy is just playing pickleball. And so then he's in a jacuzzi which is so hot, and I'm thinking about he's probably dehydrated. I look this up. Dehydration can weaken your heart. He passed out and he died, and it's just so terribly sad. He was so funny, he seemed so nice. He came out with this amazing book to really talk about his addiction and how it changed his life to be sober. And people who are sober say that that's their number one. It's before family, it's before money, it's before work, it's before God, it's before anything. It's what you have. And so I guess that should just be a message, you know, how we treat our bodies. And it's just so fucking sad. It's just so tragic and so sad. It really is, because it sucks, and it's frustrating when you hear of somebody finally like doing the work and getting to the place and then the goddamn guide dies in a fucking jacuzzie after a pickleball. It's just like not fair. There's this mural that this person Eternal Possessions put on the side of a building in the West Village and so many people sent it to me. It's called mention it All. Apparently this mural artist was on reality shows for years in production, was totally abused. It ruined their life, and they were just putting this up as a message to honor and acknowledge and empower the reality reckoning. And I just didn't feel worthy. I just felt really moving. And it was on this crazy week of mine where I rang the Nasdaq closing bell. Things move so quickly, and things are just little pieces on the board, little marks on the calendar, and not until I get to them do I realized, Wait a second, when was the last time I stopped and really celebrated something that's happening. I'm on three pages of Vanity Fair photographs of me, and it's just like I read it to make sure what it said, and then I move on to like what I'm doing about it. But let's just like sit for a moment and think about the fact that for years, all I would want was to be in Vanity Fair. That's like credible, and all I want is to be on SNL, like that's my dream life. And yes, I've been mentioned and that's been never lost to me, that's one thing I always do revel in. But I go this week to do the closing bell, and I had said to Brinn that she should come because it's super important. And then at the last minute, I said, you know, you have math and I know school is hard right now, and you don't have to come. And I got down. I got to Times Square and I was by myself ringing the bell on behalf of be Strong, and there were lights everywhere I could see Times Square, the windows were open. I was with a few people from my PR team, and I then got exasperated because Brent's school is like thirty five minutes from there, and I was trying to rush and I wanted her to then come because she would have loved it. It was really her too. You know when you taste something and you're just like, I want you to taste this. It's so good. I can't enjoy it unless you taste it. I want you to see this. I can't enjoy it unless you see it. So I was having hard time enjoying it. Paul wasn't bust and I didn't ask him to come. He you know, he he would have absolutely come, and I was not. I was like exactly, it felt like New Year's even Times Square, and I just wanted my daughter to get to me, and I missed her in the crowd, and then she was freaking out because she was feeling guilty and she was realizing how big it was. And I was sending her pictures and she was texting my assistant, and I wasn't present. I wasn't paying attention to what was going on. I was acting like I was paying attention, but inside my body, I was like, oh my god, I'm alone and I'm doing this alone, and I wish my daughter was here, and I was just having displaced anxiety. It was not proportional to what was happening. It was like my whole life gathered and crystallized in this one moment. But then I also had unleashed something. So she was trying to get to me, So she was going to get in the car and go the opposite direction to Times Square when we were going to after this, go all the way back uptown to get her to leave the city. So I was then preoccupied by that. My assistant was trying to take pictures of me trying to talk to Brinn. I was trying to be present. I was trying to listen to what the people were saying there. And I get up and the can explodes and it's all this confetti and all these people are cheering because and then we're in Times Square and my name and name or in this giant much bigger than billboard because it goes the whole side of a building. And it's like the culmination of his career. And I didn't even make a big deal enough about it even to invite people I work with or share it with anyone. I was just like, didn't want to inundate anyone or pose to come to Times Square. And when it was done, I I crumbled. I broke down. I cried for hours. When I mean, it took me out. I was having anxiety, I couldn't sleep, my eyes were swollen. It took me out for two days. I just I said it was the closing bell, but it was a wake up call. It was just like, let's make meaning out of things. I felt so entirely alone. I've always been an insular person. I've always been someone who just likes to be alone and processes alone and id eights alone and works alone. And I, you know, I just it just really hit me. It was extremely bad, powerful. And this guy who's on the stock market, I think he's in the New York Stock Exchange. His Instagram is something like Einstein of Einstein of Wall Street, and he reached out. He said, he went, he's been on Wall Street for years and he's like a little fame. He's got one hundred and something thousand followers, and I guess he had a picture of me when I came to the Stock Exchange to do I think it was Cheddar or a show, and he messaged me and he said I had the exact same experience. It was like a culmination of my career and only certain people get to ring the bell and they gave me the honor, and he said I felt entirely alone, and he was like, I'd love to do a duover for you with you, and it was just like really sweet, even just him reaching out. And then my good friends reached out, people I work with, like a lot of people were like I would have comment. It was just really meaningful. I just wasn't ready to talk right away, and now I've started to connect people about it. It was sort of embarrassing and it was like just like a loser. It was extremely me, you know, so dramatic. So what I want to say is there were many people that reached out. Many moms are reached out saying we strip ourselves, we do for everybody else, and we don't take time to celebrate and you are worthy. And they're saying that they are worthy. And because I don't know if I felt worthy, I don't. Sometimes it feels like it's all you know, the Emperor has no closed imposter syndrome. It wasn't happening at that moment. But just overall, thank you to all the people that reached out to me and felt that. And I don't want them to feel it for me. I want them to feel it for them. I shared it on social media and not because I need them to feel it for me. They were feeling it for themselves, like they were feeling it in their own lives and they needed it. And that's the beautiful power of social media when you can help someone who really needed it in their own life because they don't feel alone. So while I spend a lot of time alone, when there's these big things that I really feel and think, I do want to share them because I want people to feel not alone and women are so powerful and never before have I been connecting to women so strongly, frankly, since I left the show. The show of housewives, when you're surrounded by women, is the worst environment to support other women. It's not designed for that. It's designed to protect yourself, fight for your own and not embrace other women. And since leaving, I'm this leader for all these women that call me every day crying and texting and need support and need help. That reality reckoning is that the environment of Bravo has broken so many women down that already were on their way out. They walked and they're broken down, thinking this was going to lift them up, and this took them out of the knees even lower. And now they're trying to make sense of it and pick up the pieces