Every morning the Half-Assed Morning Show is joined by the "Assman" himself, Randy Shaver, to talk about sports and whatever random topics that happen to come up that day.
NFL free agency is out of control. SGA hit a new milestone. Entertainer C Willi Myles.
The Tourney was an all-timer. We now have TWO Folignos on the Wild. Wolves had a clunker.
Shaver is a travelin' man. Timberwolves are on a heater. Tourney Time.
Youth sports are way too expensive. RIP Lou Holtz. Vikings are getting desperate.
Important anniversary at the State Hockey Tournament. Someone on the show takes boner pills. Timberwolves stumbled into a win.
A cat will straight up eat your pecker. The Jack Hughes tour continues. Ejected before a debut.
All-time bad jerseys. Wild are going through a cooler. Everything is OK Alarm.
Pigs and Wolves got big wins. A familiar face back with the Wolves. Edina made Sportscenter.
The Pigs are finally back in action. Gopher hockey is in the tank. Joey Chestnut is coming to town.
The US Hockey team partied their balls off. Kirk Cousins is coming home. Brad has a butler.
High schools that produce the most pro athletes. Savannah Banana Split. Reaction videos.
All we do is win gold medals in hockey. The Wolves crapped their shorts. Vikings tragedy.
Shirtless Hillbilly Olympic Update. The Wolves are back. Leaf blowers can kill ya.
Quinn Hughes has a creepy look on his face. Nothing good to report on the Twins.
We finally catch up with Marcus Foligno. The Twins are a disaster. A familiar face is back with the Wolves.
Top 10 hardest sports. The NBA went ahead and played an All-Star Game. Cheating in curling.
The Twins are finally doing something right. The smelly kid in class. The Puppy Bowl crushed.
Timberwolves head into the break with a win. Top 8 Olympic movies of all time. Twins are getting the band back together.
Announcing you cheated on your girlfriend on national TV. Running straight into another man. Best baseball promo ever.
HAMS turns 27. C Willi Myles hangs out with us. The Wolves actually remembered how to play defense.
The Super Bowl happened. The Wolves hit a new low. Coughing is so hot right now.
Lindsey Vonn is going to ski with a torn ACL. NBA trade deadline is approaching. We got Marcus Foligno sick.
The Wolves should make the damn trade. The Pro Bowl has been dead for years. Sports the US has the most gold medals in.
Wild sports weekend. Unbreakable NFL records. Freezing your peener off for love of the game.
The Wolves had a huge win. Giannis watch is on. People don't care about the Winter Olympics.
Super Bowl fun facts. Big trade deadline approaching for the Wolves. Taking a lime scooter from MPLS to St Paul.
The Wolves are in free-fall mode. The Super Bowl matchup is set. Jay Cutler.
The Wolves are in a slump. Championship Sunday in the NFL. The Twins actually signed a pitcher.
Hockey Day Minnesota will be cold as balls. A ref actually apologizes for a bad call. Trade deadline coming for the Wolves.
The Pigs lost a heartbreaker. The Wolves wet their pants. Hottest QB combos in the NFL.
Wild NFL weekend. ANT was snubbed as an All Star starter. Indiana won the Natty.
The Pigs got pumped. ANT is out. Nudity in Teen Wolf
Anthony Edwards is the coolest guy alive. Sean Payton is a dick. Getting sworn at by Stone Cold is a badge of honor.
Marcus Foligno makes his first appearance on the show in 2026. The Wolves beat some ass in Milwaukee. Gophers lose a heartbreaker.
The Wolves are shorthanded in Milwaukee tonight. Gross toe injuries.
The NFL was mental over the weekend. The Wolves game Sunday night was crazy. Insane LeBron stat.
The Wolves won four in a row. Crazy 4th quarter in college ball. Soccer is officially more popular than baseball.
Nobody cares about the NCAA football playoffs. NIL money is all the rage. Best possible Super Bowl matchups.
The Wolves whooped up a batch. The Gophers got a big win over Iowa. We want a 1997 Gopher reunion.
Taking your pants off during the Olympics. Those stubborn Swedes. The FREAKING Iowagians.
The Vikings and Packers played a JV game. The NFL playoff picture is set. The US World Juniors run ended with a thud.
We chat with Andrew DePaola for the last time for the season. Purple Pick Em. KG is back!
Moose joins the show for his regular visit. The Chicago Bears might play in Indiana. Pohlads made a shuffle.
Our guy Marcus Foligno returns from injury. Should the Vikings trade Justin Jefferson? Random jerseys.
The Twins actually spent some money. The Wild are in action tonight. Private plane nightmares.
JJ McCarthy actually played decent! ACL injuries everywhere. Pooping your pants on the field.
Andrew DePaola makes his weekly appearance. Another listener takes a crack at Purple Pick 'Em. Old-ass QBs.
Michigan head coach scandal. A former Wolf got arrested. The Oklahoma City Thunder are annoying.
Talking through a used condom. $31 chicken sandwich. 3-year old chess prodigy.