Every morning the Half-Assed Morning Show is joined by the "Assman" himself, Randy Shaver, to talk about sports and whatever random topics that happen to come up that day.
We share stories about Joe Senser. Every team is in action this weekend. ICP fans vs Wild fans.
We catch up with Moose and talk about the Avs series. The Wolves sucked. The Twins bullpen also sucks, but not as bad as the Wolves.
The ManBearPigs might be in trouble. We ain't scared of the Spurs. Tallest NBA players of all time.
The Wolves aren't afraid of the Spurs. Everyone needed a heater after Wild game 1. Bad Girl of the PWHL.
The Wolves are in trouble. The Wild have their PIVOTAL Game 5 tonight. Twins got back on track.
Good and bad news for the Wolves. Twins are officially in a slump. Pigs even the series.
Denver disrespected greatness. The Pig got a big one. Tossing a rotisserie on the ice.
The Wild game went late. Wolves have a big one tonight. DRAFT DAY!
Both playoffs series are coming back to Minnesota even. Twins get the Mets for three. Blowing a No-Hitter.
The Pigs whooped some ass. The Wolves need to get it together. Brock is retiring.
Pigs are playing mind games with the Stars. A wonderful blow. Most dongs given up.
Marcus Foligno previews the playoffs. Randy and Brad are mad at the Wolves. It's not always naked pool parties at Target Field.
Strangest baseball injuries of all time. Wrestlemania weekend is upon us. Nobody believed in us.
Star Search grand prize winners. Drunk contract signings. Getting hit in the FACE.
The next round of The Masters. The Wolves Round 1 playoff opponent is set. Statue unveiling gone wrong.
Twins own ABS. The Pigs dumped one in Dallas. The Wild signed a Viking.
The Twins are the hottest team in baseball history. JV Wolves. Randy's Masters leaderboard.
Our coworker Marcus Foligno scored a goal. Traditions that are unlike any other. Top 10 baseball players to never get a ring.
Hail to the Victors. The Wolves are heading in the wrong direction. Mouth of the South.
Brad is jacking off. You can't please everyone...unless you're Sasha Grey. No power at Target Field.
Being a grandparent rules. The Wild got a big win. Top 10 longest dongs of all time.
The Twins game was a disaster. Stone Cold can do anything. Quinn Hughes is a weird dude.
The Twins couldn't get anything going. Worst athlete acting performances. Timberwolves get bad injury news.
Twins manager makes MLB history. Update on the spouse bracket. North Star history.
Nebraska embarrassed themselves. The Twins dumped one on Opening Day. Olivia Dunne the equestrian.
The Sweet 16 is here. Snot Otters. A headline Nick can't even read because it's too disgusting.
Gopher hockey fans are PISSED. Stroll down memory lane with the SuperSonics. MLB Opening Day
Entertainer C Willi Myles joins the show. Byron Buxton with his pants down. Christian effing Laettner.
We are down to the Sweet 16. NFL players got clowned on by the flag football team. Opening Day is almost upon us.
Brackets are already getting busted. The Wild point streak is over. Collapsed lungs are a bitch.
Gopher hockey cleaned house. 100 bottles of cologne on the wall. Wolves keep winning without ANT.
Marcus Foligno makes his return to the show. The US dumped another World Baseball Classic. Wolves won without ANT.
Entertainer C Willi Myles. Randy still has diarrhea. US in the WBC final.
Randy has diarrhea. Athletes that effed their career on a single play. St Cloud State hockey legend Marty Mjellei.
Janel Klein makes her triumphant return. The Vikings have a new quarterback. Wolves need a slump-buster.
The Wolves are in a slump. Valentine's Day Massacre. Gopher men's sports end with a whimper.
83 points in an NBA game from an unlikely player. Making it in the Outdoor News. Wolves had a no-show.
NFL free agency is out of control. SGA hit a new milestone. Entertainer C Willi Myles.
The Tourney was an all-timer. We now have TWO Folignos on the Wild. Wolves had a clunker.
Shaver is a travelin' man. Timberwolves are on a heater. Tourney Time.
Youth sports are way too expensive. RIP Lou Holtz. Vikings are getting desperate.
Important anniversary at the State Hockey Tournament. Someone on the show takes boner pills. Timberwolves stumbled into a win.
A cat will straight up eat your pecker. The Jack Hughes tour continues. Ejected before a debut.
All-time bad jerseys. Wild are going through a cooler. Everything is OK Alarm.
Pigs and Wolves got big wins. A familiar face back with the Wolves. Edina made Sportscenter.
The Pigs are finally back in action. Gopher hockey is in the tank. Joey Chestnut is coming to town.
The US Hockey team partied their balls off. Kirk Cousins is coming home. Brad has a butler.
High schools that produce the most pro athletes. Savannah Banana Split. Reaction videos.
All we do is win gold medals in hockey. The Wolves crapped their shorts. Vikings tragedy.
Shirtless Hillbilly Olympic Update. The Wolves are back. Leaf blowers can kill ya.