With the premiere of season 11 imminent, Rachel revisits a few lingering issues that have yet to be resolved.
This is Rachel Go's rogue.
This is Rachel Savannah Levis, and you're listening to Rachel gos rogue. I'm here with my iHeart producers. They're asking me the tough questions that you.
Guys really want to know. So let's get into it.
So let's get into one that is we hear repeatedly, Rachel, you don't own it. You keep playing the victim. How do you respond to that?
Look, there's two separate instances here. There is the fair and the cheating and the line. There's another part where I have been assaulted and harassed and threatened, and my life had become completely unmanageable and so out of my control that it has impacted me in a way that I couldn't even fathom. And you can be two things at once. You could be a perpetrator where you are making these mistakes and taking accountability for those actions, and you can also be a victim of manipulation, a victim of assault, a victim of harassment, and both of those things can happen to the same person at the same time.
I'm doing my very.
Best to take accountability. I've done everything that I possibly could to.
Change my behavior. And learn from my mistakes.
And I'm not trying to play the sympathy card so that you guys could forgive me for my past indiscretions.
That's not my motive.
I'm just putting this all out there so you guys could be more educated on the the choices that I made and the reasonings behind them, and how this has impacted my life, and how I'm moving forward to be a better person and hopefully make change.
Did you give Graham to a kill shelter? Can you explain that.
I did not give Graham to kill shelter. I gave Graham over.
To a breed specific dog rescue.
This was after I put him in training to work on those issues, and I tried to get him rehomed with a different family, a different foster family, but because he had bitten so many different people that were caring for him, the rescue needed more money to get a new trainer, because this trainer didn't want to work with him anymore. And so that's how this whole thing came about, which we went into in chapter one.
Can you specify how many people he bit before and took him there?
In the trying to get rehomed, he attacked another dog. He attacked the foster that he was staying with and the foster's grandchild, and he attacked that foster. Clearly that wasn't a good fit. He bit my mom, He bit the trainer who was working with him.
He bit the.
New owner and the owner's husband or wife. I don't know the specific people, but I know that two people were bit and that's why he was returned. And you know, like, I don't want this to sound like, oh, of course he was gonna be hours away of being euthanized.
Well, first of all, that's not true.
And second of all, I had no intention of putting Graham down, Like, if anything, I wanted him to live. I just didn't want him to be with James and the Golden Doodle Rescue that Graham was under the care of promised to keep it confidential, but they broke that confidentiality when they reached out to vander Pump Dogs for a donation, and they could have reached out to us for a donation. We just weren't aware of the circumstances. We weren't getting updates on him or anything. They even said that it would take four months to get him rehabilitated before rehoming him, and so we just didn't even think that they were going to rehome him so quickly. But they could have reached out to us for money and we would have happily given them money to keep working with Graham.
So Sheena has said that she put you up in her apartment for free and took care of you when you didn't have anywhere to go. Can you shed some light on that.
Shina did not put me up at her apartment for free. I sub letted her apartment. She wanted to keep her la apartment while she was living in her house in San Diego with her family with broken her baby, and this was also during the pandemic. So she had this COVID rate on her apartment and she wanted to keep it, but she didn't want to be paying such a large sum of money each month when she wasn't even using it. So she knew that I was in a place where I was looking for somewhere to live, and she offered for me to stay at her place at a discounted rent rate, and so I paid my low rent every month plus utilities, and.
I also cat sat for her cat who had.
It was a procedure where they had to pump her cat with mercury, and because the baby couldn't be exposed to the mercury, she needed someone to look after this cat. So I it was like, I'll look after her, like it's not a problem. So it worked out pretty well for both of us. But of course now she's saying that I lived there rent free, but it seems to be that I live free and Sheena's mind.
Another cast member recently said in her podcast that you were a fan of the show. Can you explain or tell me that story?
Oh?
Yeah, I don't want to offend any fans out there, because you guys are incredible. I just didn't watch vander pump roles. I didn't know what it was when I met James, and then I started looking into it because my friends told me and he told me about it, and I did some research. I didn't watch all the episodes, but I.
Wasn't a big reality TV viewer.
I started watching The Kardashians with James because James liked the fact that Kanye was on, and you know, like it.
Was entertaining to tune in.
But I didn't take it super seriously, and I know our friend group likes to watch Love Island, and so that was one of the shows that I started watching post filming.
But I really.
Didn't quite know what the show was and it was definitely naive to that. But no, I wasn't a fan.
People think you masterminded this whole thing. What is your response to that.
I definitely didn't mastermind this. I think I fell into this situation and just didn't know how to handle it. The thought has crossed my mind, like did Tom mastermind this? He is known to self produce and all he has is this show, and the success of the show equals longevity in his career. He's over forty now and this is his life. This is his main income. When we did have conversations about like how is this going to play out, he said like one of the pros is that can be together next season. And so not to say that he's the mastermind behind it. I think he had his motivation behind it. That really escalated the situation. Whereas if it wasn't a reality TV show and we weren't all filming, I don't know if it would be like this. I wonder you say he's forty, you say all these things about Tom, did you actually see a real future with him? Okay, So this is interesting because when I worked in my therapy, I realized that when you're choosing men, specifically unhealthy men, it is this younger version of yourself choosing these guys to try to get some wound healed, some like something to add up within you.
And so when that registered in my mind, I was like, oh, my God, and.
Her child chose Tom, this forty year old Like no, I'm like, no, honey. When it all played out, a lot of his character came forward, and Oh, the way that he would talk to my parents, it just seemed like a James two point zero situation. And I won't allow that in my relationships anymore. I think family is really important. And I know I said in the past that, like, I don't want to be like my mom, but my mom is an incredible woman who is very caring and she wants the best for me, and she's a mama bear in the way that like I am her baby, and she she just hates everything that's happening right now. That I had to learn my lessons on my own, you know, being in that rebellious era of your life, wanting to make your own mistakes. You know, I'm learning the hard way.
So we saw you have an anxiety breakdown on air after the discussing the James.
Right, Oh yeah, what.
Do people not know or understand about that?
They? No one understand that I was really hungover the next day and I had anxiety. I think that conversation that I had with the girls in the car was more of a vulnerable type of conversation that you would normally have with close, trusted friends, and I knew in the back of my mind that these are not safe people for you to bear it all too. And as I was telling them the story of me planning to break up with James, and how I had intentions of like leaving the ring box on the counter when he got back from Europe, and that all of my stuff was going to be gone, and how I felt like that would be the safest way for me to break.
Up with him.
I didn't go into the details of why we were breaking up and why couldn't be with him anymore, and only a few people know that story. And it was also at a time where like I didn't want to tell the world because I didn't want to ruin his life. I think that's what really brought on that panic attack, because I wanted to say these things. There was more to that story, and I was holding myself back and overthinking everything and knowing that this isn't a safe place. That anxiety built up so much so that like I couldn't breathe, I felt faint, I couldn't see, like and I just started hyperventilating. It was a go pro car scene, so they captured all of that. I was able to take a break right after that because we pulled into this restaurant stop, which just reinforced that these are not safe people. You shouldn't be with these people right now, because they were like eating on their own and I didn't feel like a welcoming vibe, like it felt like, oh God, she's still here, like kind of attitude. And as we got to Tahoe and Charlie met up with us, and we were supposed to.
Stay there for a few days with the group.
You know, I was ready to put what was said behind us, and the girls were talking about it, filling Charlie in and kind of mocking me and you know, poking at me, and one of the producers pulled me aside and said like, hey, you're letting these girls pick on you right now. I think you should really speak up for yourself. And I'm like, I'm so tired right now, like I can't, like I can't do it. And he was like, well, you know, it's just a critical of Laala to be saying that she doesn't trust you around her man, because like she cheated with James. If anyone can't trust anybody around their man, it would be her, right, And I.
Was like, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
And so you know, I was trying to take this direction and say my piece to stand up for myself, and.
I think it.
I mean, looking back, I'm like, oh god, Like I could barely even get the words out because I was so brain dead from the night before, so physically exhausted from not having enough sleep and just feeling this pressure that I need to, you know, like I need to live up to this.
Part of me.
That's not allowing people to bullame me anymore, not allowing their opinion of me to influence my opinion of myself, and like really standing up for myself. But it wasn't done in a way that was empowering to me. It was prompted by an outside force and not something I would normally say in that instance.
Even though it was a good.
Point for sure, Charlie felt uncomfortable staying there. She said, I really really want to go back to LA and I was like, dude, I don't blame you.
I want to go back there too. This isn't fun. And so we.
Stayed up talking all night about it, and she's like, how do we get home? Like how do we get out of here? And it's like we should just like tell producer we're leaving. We're not staying, like this isn't a good environment and we're going. And so the producers were like, no, no, no, you said you were gonna stay. And Charlie's like, I drove all the way out here in my least car and I just got here and I want to leave and that's how bad I want to leave. And eventually Charlie was like, look, they're not gonna listen to me, Like you have to convince them. It's on you, like, Raquel, please do this for me. And so they said, fine, you can leave, only if you tell the girls that you're gonna go meet up with the guys at Guy's Night and I'm like okay. And then they said, and tell Laala that you think that she's just jealous of you because you were the one that's got with Oliver, not her, and that he chose you. And I was like okay, but then you promise we can leave, Yes, yes, then you can go. So I was like fine, anything to leave. If I was in that instance without production there, I would just say like, hey, you know, thanks for inviting me here. I feel really uncomfortable. I'm still feeling tired and hungover from that night in Vegas, and Charlie and I just don't feel comfortable.
We want to go home, but thanks for inviting us.
It was fun while it lasted and then left, but instead, of course, it had to be something more dramatic than that. So of course they also like after that whole ride back from Tahoe to la They're like, you have to film immediately.
You can't.
You can't go home and sleep, you have to go to this guy's night. I'm like, okay, I'll go to the guys' night, and like, what's the worst that can happen? So, you know, Charlie and I walk in and who's the brightest eyed Bushy tailed to see me.
Who is so thrilled that I just walked in other than Tom Sandoval.
And it's such be us too, because I heard somebody say like, oh yeah, Tom definitely knew. Producers definitely told Tom that Charlie and Riccall were about to walk in, like he was ready for that scene. And I'm like, God, damn it, he fooled me. Like I thought he was actually genuinely happy to see me. I was like, oh my god, this is what it feels like to actually be appreciated and feel like you're welcomed in a room and feel like somebody wants you there, like the stark contrast. But then later on finding out that he was acting and that wasn't fully genuineugh. But you know, we had a conversation that I remember that night. People were asking me like, oh, where are we going after this? And I said, oh, I'm going wherever Tom Sandival goes, And they had that on my mic pack, like they have that audio. And I didn't say it as a way to be like, oh, I'm going wherever Tom's sand of all goes, like I'm gonna like intervene, I'm gonna put myself in the middle of this no, like I was feeling like this person actually cares about me, and he's like down to hear my side of the story. And we went to Saddle Ranch across the street with our friends. When I talked to him and explained everything that happened that trip, it was like the whole world melted away, Like the only person that I could see was him and nobody else. And he was listening to me, like actually listening to me and understanding the situations that I was in and that like producers were intervening and telling me to say certain things that I normally wouldn't actually say, and he understood that, like he had been there before. You know, There's a video that surfaced that one of our friends took because they were in the car ready to leave Saddle Ranch and they were waiting for us, and I guess they pulled up right in front of us, and Tom and I were sitting on the curb right outside of Saddle Ranch.
We're just talking and talking and talking.
Away, and these friends took a video and they started doing like a voice over of what we were saying to each other, and it was actually pretty funny, and I was like, oh, my gosh, you should send that to Ariana. That's hilarious. And then someone somewhere was like, oh no, no, maybe not because it seems cool. But then it also seemed like, wait, is this cool or is this not cool? Because it seems like you guys are really like your faces are really close to each other and you're having an in depth conversation.
Nothing happened that night.
It was just like this stark contrast between being belittled, being bullied, being harassed for having fun in Vegas on a girl's trip, being exhausted, and like being welcomed into this room where I felt wanted and then somebody actually hearing me out and hearing what I'm saying and understanding and relating and all of those things. Is like something switched in me where my priority became this is something that I need in my life, this is something that's lacking, and this is something that is going to help me survive through the rest of the season, and that took first priority above everything else.
When it was announced that you went into a treatment facility, people said that your three month in patient treatment was a PR stunt or that you really weren't in a treatment center, but you were at the spa. Tell us about that and how that made you feel well.
First of all, my privacy was violated when somebody in the trauma therapy center we were in the same group together. I came in that week and she was leaving that week, and I think she accidentally texted a friends saying, oh, you wouldn't believe who was in the meadows with me, Raquel from vander Pump Rules, And that got screenshotted and sent out to the press, to the media somewhere, It got somewhere, and then stories started circulating. Oh, no, she's not at a mental health facility, she's not at a treatment center.
She's at a spa.
And oh yeah, she's at this place called Miravelle in Arizona.
So people were like, Rakhal's.
At miraval with Tom's handival of course, like she's not a trauma therapy center, she's not doing that.
No, she's at a spa. And we know for a fact. It's the update. And there were updates. Oh my god, the updates.
Every single hour of every single day. It seemed like there was a new update. But yeah, that update at the time was people knew for a fact that I was at a SPA and not a treatment facility, and I think other cast members were saying that I was, and NBC, Bravo, and Evolution, the production company that produces Vander Pumper roles, all knew that I was actually at the Meadows and there was paperwork to prove it. They did nothing to prevent that rumor of ME being at a SPA from flourishing. In fact, they actually perpetuated it by bringing it on to Andy ks Watch What Happens Live. Andy said, I was highly must have been highly medicated at the reunion because I had no emotion, and so I guess Andy Cohen was prompting his guests asking them, do you think Rakala is actually at a mental health facility or is she actually at a SPA and just further perpetuate that rumor that I was at a SPA even though they knew actually for a fact that I was not.
And all of.
The commentators who said that they knew for a fact that I was at a SPA have never come forward and admitted that they were wrong. And I have not received a single apology from any of them, and they're continuing to post and talk about all things Vander pump, including this podcast, even though I know some of them don't even listen to the podcast. They're just listening to the recaps of the people doing recaps of the podcast, which is not all the information, Like there is some juicy stuff in here, you know, like there's stuff that I'm revealing that people higher up don't want you to know. So do your due diligence and listen to the whole podcast