Rachel and Renee Ash have bad choices in men in common. The "Love Undercover" star goes Rogue alongside Rachel as they dig into love bombing.
And, how they handle dating and finding love... NOW.
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Row. This is your host Rachel Savannah Lovis. Today we're interviewing Renee from Peacock's first season of Love Undercover. The premise of the show is that the women think they're finding love with ordinary men from abroad. Little did they know all five men were actually famous soccer players. Renee fell for England's Jamie O'Hara, a manager, radio host and former player. By the end of the season, these two look like they had a picture perfect love story, but that's exactly where their story ends. Renee now claims that a week after filming, she learned that Jamie's profession wasn't the only secret he was keeping.
Hi.
Renee, Hi, I'm good.
It's been chaos, as I'm sure you've experienced, but yeah, I'm excited to talk with you.
Yeah, let's get into it. Okay.
So you did this reality TV show called Love Undercover, and basically the goal was to strip away these guys fame and celebrity status of being professional soccer players in the UK and Mexico and other parts of the world, correct in hopes of finding a genuine romantic connection. What were you told exactly about the men before filming the show? And how did you get pitched the show? What was that whole process for you?
So when I got Cass, I was like the last person cast and everything happened really quickly. And so they told me top notch guys international, all the women from America.
Five guys, five girls, no competition.
Yeah, they were like, these are like ten out of ten, Like, trust me, you want to be here because the Prince of Spain could be waiting for you, wink renee, And I was like, you know what, Princess Bain sounds good.
But they also made it seem like within the five guys, five girls, like there is a match for you.
However, the one that you make the most connection with, that's who you'll end up traveling with.
Okay, interesting, Okay, So they kind of pitched it like it's five guys, five girls, there's no competition, but in reality, they brought in five new girls, like right after the introduction with the original five girls, and.
Then right after that it was five more girls.
So I really like put the guys in an environment that I feel like would almost mimic real life because girls fling themselves at them, and just like.
I was alerted every time because me and Jamie had a connection from the start, and so he would tell me that new girls were coming.
So I didn't really feel that.
I had competition because me and him were we clicked right away.
We've seen that, Like, it seemed like you guys were pretty solid throughout the whole thing. He narrowed it down to you, like quicker than all the other guys, and it seemed like you were able to like form a connection during that time that you had together while the other guys were still trying to figure out and make up their minds and all that nonsense.
Yeah, I was chilling. We were mom and out of the house. Yeah.
So, and you mentioned a few times like Jamie reminded you of your ex and what was it? Yeah, Okay, tell me. I want the update. I want to know where those red flags accurate?
What was it?
He is a copy and paste.
Jamie is more calculated, still a love bomber, still a gas lighter. And I know those words are so overused, but it's true to when you're dealing with a narcissistic person. Love bombed me like no other. Their copy and paste of each other. Like I said, Jamie's more calculated, the other one just says a little less acoid.
Oh that's sad to hear, really, because I was kind of like rooting for you guys, and I wanted to believe like it was a genuine connection, and I'm sure a part of it was genuine, but.
Maybe not the case.
I feel like guys who do love bombing, gaslighting, all that stuff not in the public eye get away with it so much more. And basically, I'm sure you received like the same amount of like death threats and like based off.
Of a ball story.
And in my previous relationship, nobody wanted to listen to me, and nobody wanted to listen to the truth. And to the day, it's still a false story, and it just feels very frustrating, and like me talking about it now with Jamie, does it feel good.
It's kind of changed.
I'm sorry to hear that, because I was wondering too, because there was a point I was watching you have a conversation with Jamie and then it cuts to your interview and you're like, I don't know, I'm picking up on something like is he love bombing me? And I was like, dang, little does this girl know that he is this famous, rich guy who I'm sure like if they make it to the end, he's gonna love bomb this sh out at her. And it would be so confusing too, because it's like, is this is this love bombing or is this just your lifestyle?
For me?
I was like, also, like the rich thing for him, what was played up a lot. Miss thing for him was played up a lot. Maybe he had his time in the tabloids like ten years ago.
But you can go as anybody in the UK and they'll be like, huh who.
Or if they do know him, it's a UK footballer and they're like, how do you end up with him?
Wow? That's interesting? Okay? Do you think that they were playing up?
Like all of the guys, I think a few of them are substantial, successful notable, like they've earned what they have. Some of them were played up a little more, but you know, I mean one comes from like a really notable family in football.
The other one one of them is also.
He's like younger and also figuring out his career and like, it's hard competing.
With so many athletes to make it in that world.
But I can I'll just speak on my experience, like hmm, nobody's following him around with pop grunty.
Okay, So that scene was kind of I mean, there was a scene where like you guys were walking into the restaurant and like the.
Paper you look at his interview and he's like, oh no, this is me and my wife again.
Like, bro, I'm to be sure you.
Call them on yourself.
Yeah yeah, Oh my gosh, do you I mean, do you regret choosing him over somebody else?
I don't regret it.
I have become good friends with some of the other guys, and I think that he was my final lesson, because you know how universe in life keeps throwing you lessons until you learn it.
I think he was like.
The last lesson I needed to be like, this is not the type of man to go for.
Yes, I love to hear that.
So what were the lessons that you needed to learn with this relationship and looking back on your past relationships, the patterns and just like what you've overcome now moving forward in your dating life.
Well again, I'm gonna use these two words like to really look out for love bombing and gad sighting and when someone comes off.
Really strong in the beginning.
There's a difference between coming on strong, and there's a difference between coming on strong strong, like to an extent where it's not normal. And that's like a very easy sign that somebody is love bombing you and just like picking up on like certain behaviors and the way he talks. And I didn't get to see his confessionals, and that's like more of the true him, and so what I was getting wasn't that personality. But as soon as cameras were off, we would be out in London, and I just like would pick up on like certain things you say, or like how he would treat people at restaurants.
And that's also like not cool and like.
My thing is and I'm sure you say this as well, like living in a life when these men have to talk about what they have or how much money they have or what they own they don't have it, or like how famous they are, and seeing looking back seeing him talking about how famous he is and this and that, and like it really corresponds to my ax, talking about like oh my god.
We're doing this and we're doing that and.
All these spealse promises. That's a huge sign, like no matter how little or big these I'm going to do this with you and that with even that with you. That's another sign. And I also feel like it's so important to pay attention to how people treat everyone.
I learned that lesson too.
Unfortunately, I bet yeah, And I feel like it was going pretty fast.
And he didn't ask you to be his girlfriend. He was just like, you're my girlfriend.
Yeah, And so I'm like, this is not the proper way to ask somebody to be your girlfriend.
Yeah.
He said our first I love you off camera, and so they had they had us redo it when I met his kids, And I also thought that.
Was a really not good move as a dad.
To introduce like this girl from La you met on a show to your kids on camera. That scene didn't make it into the stuff, but like not a good dad move, Like you're throwing your kids into a reality show and having them meet this girl you met less than a month ago. And then would ask me if I'm like, well to watch them when he has to work afterwards, like once I moved in and I'm like, yeah, that's fine, but like they barely know me.
It's like immediate mom, stepmom. R.
Also, I would never be like, Hi, call me your mom.
I'd be like, I'm more of a friend to you, like let's hang out with tiktoks and play video games. But I just thought that that was a huge red flag to like immediately introduce me to your kids on camera.
It's just a little shady.
Are you dating now?
Am I dating now?
It's really hard because I want to change. I'm working on changing what I'm attracted to and getting away with what I'm comfortable with, which is like loud, wild, big personality love vombing, because to be honest, like why wouldn't I evolve for that? Like, of course I'm very insecure, but I'm also very confident at the same time, So I'm.
Like, why wouldn't you love me right away?
Because I'm fall really fast in heart if I'm really into somebody, So dating's meant interesting because I'm like, there's nobody that's like immediate sparks, but I'm trying to like give it a go with the slow burn.
But I also still want somebody.
Kind of in my world of like you know, kind of the world we're in of like kind of public and high profile. But also maybe I don't need that. Maybe I just need like a really sweet finance guy.
I don't know.
My mom's friend is like, just did a nerd? The nerds are the best.
I think that's the way to go.
I know. I'm like, but like I want someone that I'm attracted to, you know, like it's this.
Whole it's just like a mindset.
Yeah, totally. Would you ever go for a construction worker?
Oh no, not this again.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I think I can't now. I think I've put that too much.
Like the construction worker thing was like so blown up that I just don't think it's in my cards. Yeah, Like all respect to construction workers, they do work really hard.
I was just thrown into the show thinking there was the prince there.
Yeah, I think you like mentioned that too.
You're like, what if there's you know, the Prince of Dubai here, whatever it was, And that's funny that they like fed you that little seed.
Well, like I wouldn't mind being with the prince, Okay, I wouldn't mind being a princess.
So are you in therapy to like work on overcoming your own personal stuff or where are you at with your healing?
I use that show therapist. Yeah, me and her were tight.
Oh you had a show therapist.
Yeah.
The great thing about reality shows is that I don't know about yours, but they provide you with a show therapist.
I think you're like mine and mine did not.
But that is reassuring to me because that something that has been lacking in the reality TV world, having a therapist on set, and that's been part of the conversations I've been having with different creators and different production companies and just like knowing that that is something that is in need and it's good to know and have that feedback that these shows are now implementing.
Yeah.
No, I got really lucky. The woman that I worked with was amazing. Definitely in mental health. Has been at an all time low over the past week because the man that I'm dealing with, it's like I was so in love and it's so fun and beautiful to watch, but at the same time, it's like really hard to watch and really sad to see how happy I was. And then you know, in the last week him coming at me and sending me really really rude, appalling texts and with me speaking my truth, which this isn't like a scandal outing situation. This is just me speaking my truth to empower myself, to empower other women who have been through something similar, to empower anybody who can relate and also answer fans questions because I get DM's comments non stop every day, and I.
Didn't want to do it on my own platform.
I wanted to do it in a generalized manner, so like in an article where it's like you can look it up, you can read it. Here's nothing but the truth. And of course he denied everything, because what is he going to do. I'm telling the truth of all the wrongdoings he did to me.
Of course he's going to deny it.
But just getting those texts and also kind of the PTSD of putting out an article like this, it kind of brought me back to the past of when I was in my early twenties and got really upset and he did with my boyfriend and at the time and outed it in a very impulsive way, and it created such a big scandal, like I didn't expect that from my past relationship, and when I brought our relationship to light, it just gave me kind of PTSD of that. And then on top of it, him texts Jamie now texting my mom and saying horrible things and then gathering just in case I need it, all the proof I have from I have like what I call my British family in the UK. They're like family to me. And when I was navigating leaving his house and going back into London and getting accommodations and he was being the opposite of a gentleman, my British family stepped in to kind of help me out and be like, Jimmie, you just blindsided her. She's here for you, She extended her stay here because you asked her to move in, and now you're unwilling to take care of her. He screamed at them. He hung up on them. People with bad intentions will always ruin it for themselves, and so that's exactly what he's doing.
In his karma is just NonStop.
I feel like he's a very miserable person that has to act out in really discussing ways to have some sort of fulfillment.
And I feel really about that for him.
How long after cameras went down did problems start really arising?
So his energy shifted.
I took him to an event because I was asked to move to London, so I already started setting up, like what can I do for work here? I'm gonna start meeting other influencers here. I took him to an event and energy shifted almost immediately. Day after cameras ended, I had a talk with him and I was like, I'm freaking out, and if I get weird, it's not because you.
Even though we've known each other such a short time.
I love and adore you, but this is a huge, huge move for me, and like, I don't know what I'm gonna be doing here and my family's there, but just know I do want to be here, and I'm just communicating everything. So if I do start to get weird, it's not you, and you know where it's coming from.
And his response was he held me.
He said, I've got you forever, and if anything, you want to go see your mom, I will get you a plane ticket to go see her, but just grab more stuff and come right back. And had conversations with my mom about how he's always got me, has my best interest and like he's a sense of stability for me.
How do you say all those things?
Day after that, that's when his energy started shifting, and it lasted truly about six days of me living with him until he broke up with me and said that there's so much more to his life that I don't know about.
Come to find out, there's a girl that was waiting for him.
Stop and he was telling everyone that it wasn't a dating show. He's just going to go do this show get money, and I have the proof, like this man can't deny it.
So it's just really unfortunate.
That he fooled us, all fooled me and like took my heart and my emotions into it without care of how it would affect me. And I'm not the only one that he does this too.
I'm so sorry to hear that you It's sad.
But it's also a learning lesson at the same time, and another way to connect with other women and like kind of be a voice for people who maybe don't have the courage to talk about it or maybe going through it silently, or maybe need to hear about it from someone who like they've seen both through it publicly.
I'm so happy that you're here on Rachel Goes Rugu because that's been my whole mission with sharing my story and this whole public experience and how difficult that has been.
To go through.
But also it's not even I mean, it goes so much deeper because these are like real feelings that you have for this person and it's an attachment and it's your real life.
Yeah.
That's what people don't understand because both of us are on a TV show and it's treated like, oh, it's a show.
Oh you're a character, but no, this is my life.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Do you talk about that with your your therapist that they assigned you with.
Yes, so I haven't since the show ended. Like they gave us a certain amount of appointments with her.
I used all of them for sure, like I needed her.
But now I've just been kind of, to be honest, I've been in a little bit of a depression, like just with all of it kind of blowing up at once and then still being dismissed. And the thing is with this type of manner, this type of person, is you're not going to get an apology and you just have to accept that you're not going to get clarification, and that's just something you have to accept.
So I'm assuming you watched the entire thing through again, right.
I had to watch it multiple times because my friends want to watch it with me, my mom wants to watch it with me, and I kind of sensitize myself. But also it's such a good show that I didn't mind watching it over and over, Like I'm so impressed by it.
It is an entertaining show, for sure, but I'm sure it's difficult, like reliving that now and having people DM you and have you been getting like support online.
It's the first time I've had like tons of support online and it makes me so happy. And people keep asking me like, oh, were your dms filled with men? And I'm like, no, they're filled with women, And I couldn't be happier.
I love that and I love that and it's.
Extra special for me because it's like my experience is now being validated and heard and women are understanding it, and it's it's a different group of women than before. These are like more mature women and women who have maybe been through more experience and get it. And yeah, no, I couldn't be happier than Like the zupporedum receiving is amazing.
That's so amazing.
Yeah, I can relate to that too, And it's so just like heartwarming and feeling like you have a purpose in life. When people approach you and say, like you sharing your story has helped me get through my experience and I can relate to you so much, and it's just like it is the best feeling because I think, specifically with someone who has narcissistic characteristic traits and has these patterns of like gaslighting, you feel like you're invisible, you feel like you're crazy, you feel like you're wrong, you're really second guessing your reality. And so when you're able to voice that to other people and then it's it's reflected and received back to you, it's like, oh my gosh, I actually am not I exist and other people can see me, and I'm like, this is real.
So in the past week and I'm sure you've experienced this with what you went there, Like they again narcissistic behavior. They make you feel like, wait, am I crazy? Because I feel crazy. But when you discuss and even just show people what's being said by this person, it's so validating for people to reach out to me and you both It's like it just makes you feel like, Okay, so it wasn't me, it was him having the narcissistic characteristic's gaslighting you into thinking you're the problem and thinking you're crazy, and so that's also part of I've been struggling with the past week. But the support is just worth it, I think, because what's the point of like being in this world and having these horrible experiences if you can't share them and like.
Help other people. That was the goal of the show. Like, I truly had an amazing time. I fully fell in love. It was a time of my life.
But well, I think something good came out of it then, even though it had to come with its own set of pain and challenges and like it wasn't what you were expecting going into this reality TV experience, but now you get to share your story and connect to others.
And I think.
Also the people that criticize us talking about our experiences don't they don't understand because they haven't been through it. And so for that, it's like you're you're very lucky that you don't understand what we're talking about. But it's like we're not being in this victim role. I feel like it's more of an empowerment role of like sharing our experience.
To connect with others. So I just wanted to throw that out there.
Yeah, and that's what I've learned, Like from anyone who throws any hate on the internet, like who has the time for that?
First of all? And second of all, I always.
Wish them like whether I rarely respond to it, but like if I do, I'm like, I don't know what's going on in your life, but like, if you need to DM me so you get some support in what you're going through, I feel sorry for you because the type of person that would go out and comment something so rude, there has to be something that they're struggling with on their own. And again like criticizing us for like speaking on the truth. Luckily this time, maybe I've gotten a few comments that I haven't really paid much attention to, but like it truly comes from a place of empowerment, And I've had a lot of conversations with the people in my life to get to a point.
Of like, Okay, this is empowering me.
Like this isn't me feeling sorry for myself because I get scared of feeling that way.
But those aren't my intentions.
But are you dating and have you have you changed your type?
I have I've taken a year off of dating to work on myself and like, so did I realize, Yes, you took a year off.
That's awesome.
And now that I'm you know, getting back out there and meeting new people. I met someone who I had awesome communication with and he was very like emotionally intelligent and emotionally regulated, and it just didn't work out. I've kind of been seeing somebody else and it's been fun and like a flame and very and he's just so sweet, like so kind, and like that's you know, like it really does make a difference.
It's so important.
Like even the littlest things, especially for us who have been through like people who treat horribly, were like, oh my god, you went out and got my coffee order.
It is so sweet.
Yes, yes, I know. I explain it to my friends.
I'm like, you know, emotionally regulated, and I'm like, Jesus, sounds so silly, Like this is like this, you know, standard stuff that you would deserve, like as basic like you know, basic benchmarks for relationships.
But yeah, it's true.
When you've been through relationships that have been toxic and abusive and secretive, you lose a part of yourself to that person, and by that point you're already so attached that you're not thinking logically and it's just painful for me.
I forgot who I was, and I remember thinking in one of my relationships, like, wait, what's my personality? Like do I have a personality? Because you're just so wrapped up in their craziness and they isolate you from your friends and everything that makes you use so that you're stuck to them in their little breadcrumbing web of horrifictness. Yeah, is it hard for you to be with a sweet guy and find him exciting.
It's hard for me to be with a sweet guy and like think of it as like a serious, long term thing, Like I don't see him as my husband.
Right because I've been attracting since I took a lot of time off to work on myself, I've been attracting like the sweetest guys and I'm just like I appreciate all of this so much, Like it's so sweet, but like I can't see myself marrying you exactly.
I know.
So it's like finding you know, like I think maybe we need to experience that.
And this is all uncharted territory, so I have no clue. But my theory is.
I think we need to like experience that sweetness and that that other side of the spectrum in order to like find a good balance.
Yes, agreed, but also.
Like you see, oh who's a good Well this is all Instagram based, so you never know what's going on behind closed doors.
But there's like a few people that I follow.
And I'm like, their relationship is just so sweet, Like this guy goes above and beyond in the like littlest and the biggest ways, and the woman is like the public figure you're in the face, and the man is like not.
Public at all.
Like, so I think me and you need some more private guys that are just like sweet, supportive.
Yes, I think so too. I feel like we have a lot in common.
LA is not a place to find a husband.
No, I agree.
I was so ready to live in the UK. I was loving it.
Well, would you consider doing that now? Oh?
Absolutely?
LA will always be home to me. My whole family is here. I've grown up here.
But like, I'm so down to live in Europe with a European man like Romantic.
It seems like none of the couples from the show have survived. Do you think it's possible to find a genuine connection while dating on a TV show.
It's unfortunate that none of them survived. It's really sad.
But who did survive was the girls, Like we are so tight, we talk every day.
I do think it's possible.
Again, It's just everybody has to go in with the right intentions and like goals is Molly May and Tommy Fury from Love Island UK, Like they are now pregnant and they are so cute, So like, if that is not proof that it's possible, I don't think it is.
That's very true. Yeah, Mollie is a sweetheart, so cute.
So you do keep in touch with the girls from the show, and like some of the guys.
Yeah, I talked to a couple of the guys, but the girls are main priority. We chat NonStop. And I'm going to Jacqueline. Me and Jacqueline since the show, I have traveled all around the world together, and I'm going to see her next week actually, and We're doing like a little event in her hometown and I've met her family before and so I'm just going to spend time with them and me and her, like we all created such a special bond on the show.
Yeah, but I really think that there needs to be.
A show where the finalists are the are the ones that men come in and date.
Oh yes, let's do a little swap and have the girls that were paired up with these guys.
We're not Yes, we're all down.
Oh fun.
When it comes to the show, why do you think none of the other relationships worked.
I think that the guys didn't necessarily, not all of them, but some of them didn't come in with the intention of actually following through. And I think once it came down to the reality of the location distance, and not all of them were let's just pretend Jamie was genuine. Not all of them were like me and Jamie were like I was down to move and he had me move into his house.
Not all of them were all on that level.
And so I think that they tried it out and then just like cordially, went their separate ways. Yeah, it's been messy since the show, Like some girls that didn't make it so far really really want to be involved still and have gone after the guys and I'm like, this is sisterhood, Like what are you doing?
Geez? They need to like pick up cameras.
I'm telling you. The drama that happened after the show is like, I could, I couldn't. That would be insanity, insanity. It's so unfortunate that we haven't got to a reunion.
Yeah, I know, I feel like you guys should have a reunion for sure. That would be really fun.
All the fans want it, all of us want it. I don't see why we can't do it.
If you could see Jamie now in a reunion setting, what would you say.
I have nothing left to say to him.
I really don't like he can go on and on and on as much as he wants. And I've said my piece, I've said my story. I know the way he acts, I know the way he moves, I know that he's trying to convince himself that he's the good guy. And like, honestly, my mom would probably come in and have some words with him.
If you have nothing to say to Jamie in this fantasy reunion that we're playing in our heads, what would you say to the other guys or the other girls, Like, how do you think some of those conversations would go down?
I have no problems with the guys. We're cool. Some of the girls, I think.
I would just let Brittany start it because she's good at that. And then and I mean that in the best way, Like Brittany's just so real and like really doesn't care what people think, and she will just give it to you straight.
If you are behaving oddly, she'll speak.
Her mind on it. And if you're being dirty to her, she will. But she is a very sweet girl. So I'm hope this doesn't come off in a different way than I'm meaning it, and then I'd probably get excited and start in. And there has just been such messy situations where like there are some pick me girls in there that like really won't let the guys go, or like really won't let the show.
Go, which like from the Final five Girls or.
No, no, no, Final five Girls are cool. We're all like, all right, when are we seeing each other next? Like we all just love each other.
The show is the show.
We're excited about it, of course, but like we're not stuck on these guys, and we're not stuck on like trying.
I don't know how to say this.
Yeah, yeah, I no, I I think I understand what you're saying.
There are literally some girls that are posting memes about making fun of the fact that none of the couples lasted till the end and they left early on, and I just think that's.
Like, what are you doing? Why?
It's just icky and weird and paired with some actions that they've also done.
I'm just not a fan, Like, really, you're gonna.
Talk bad about the final five girls when some of you gave hand jobs in a pool in front of everybody.
I don't know, I'm trying not to be rude, but like, come.
On, yeah, yeah, yeah, for real.
Okay, So I feel like some of the guys handled crashing the girls' final interview to tell them the truth and to break the news that they're actually famous football players, and Sebastian just like really did not the way he set it up. He was like, all right, it's time to tell her the truth because you know, I owe her that much, or like however he phrased it just did not come across well because he's like breaking these girls hearts and he's like, and I'm a professional athlete and like really rubbing it in.
Gosh, this is awful.
Maybe he's the one who like really rubbed it in. He's like, I'm a famous footba yeah.
Yeah, and he would like laugh about it. Yeah, oh man.
But none of them wanted to do it. They all felt really awkward doing it. I I'll stick up for them in that sense. So when one of them felt too awkward, they would send Jamie because he has no problem being like famous.
Well that tells you something.
Oh my gosh, what is one thing that you think people get wrong about you?
From the show?
I was painted as like a very what's the opposite of genuine, like shallow, money hungry. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but like, see you next Tuesday. And I think that it's hilarious that first people comment like I hated you at first and then you became my favorite, which I think is hilarious because I'd.
Probably hate me as well.
But I think that my story arc it goes really nicely because you really do get to know me and that I'm very very much a genuine person and like money can only make you so happy if you're not with the right person, then it's not fun. Like I fall in love with personality, and I fell in love with somebody who was an ad salesman with three kids who lived in a village. And so I think that I'm misunderstood by the way that I speak because I'm very sarcastic and I make a lot of Dirk jokes, and I come off as shallow and as a lot more.
Dizzy than I really am.
Like I think and overthink non stop, and I'm very aware of what's going on, and I'm very emotionally intelligent, and I don't think I come off that way when you first meet me.
I can relate to that.
I mean, it's very easy for editors to, you know, paint this picture when also, like on the show that I was on, I wasn't very confrontational, so at a certain point I kind of like played into that knowing, which you know, I regret now. But also like and I've said this before on the podcast, like I've I've learned about myself.
A lot more and I have a lot more to speak on now.
And when I'm watching reality TV shows like this, I always take these creative personalities with the grain of salt because I know that it's not quite real and they're probably playing into a certain thing.
And also with the whole like money thing.
Was definitely a point that the producers were trying to convey, and like trying to paint these girls as a certain like gold diggers and stuff.
Like there were a certain amount like me, Jacqueline and Brittany. We're told that these are top notch, like super top notch guys, like super wealthy, amazing, So they had us come in talking about money.
So of course we get painted as the gold diggers.
Uh huh, yeah.
But honestly it's hilarious.
And knowing that Ryan obviously has a tell when he lies and Jamie, it was like an easier.
Thing for him to do.
Do you think that there was some like mistrust early on finding out that he actually the profession that he was saying that he was wasn't in reality of like his actual profession, and like, did that create some distrust.
Talking me, No, because I understood the premise of the show and that it had to be done. I in my it shows him my reveal. I'm like, cool, So you lied to me from the start. That was great, cheers see you later. But no, I understood that was the premise of the show.
But now, like knowing how much he lies in real.
Life, I'm like, oh cool, and watching it back, he's also like me and my mom would watch it together, and she's like, look he's touching his sleeves.
Look he's touching his sleeves.
So like when he lies, he touches his sleeves, or he'll play like with his neck or play with his clothes. Like they all had little telltale signs, Like's.
Voice would go up a few octaves.
Sebastian would just also eyes kind of wide, but just like at some point you would look.
At him and he'd be making faces like they're such bad liars. Lloyd, I don't even know what to say about that one word life.
So he's so hot that like h so indecisive and just so like wishy washy, And one day it's this girl, on the next day it's someone new, and I'm.
Like, that's not a husband material at all.
He's young, he gets girls thrown at him, and so I think it's hard for him to like get his head on straight when he has all that. But I spoke to him recently and he was saying that like he really I don't know if these were his exact words, but like he wants to find someone and eventually have kids. So hopefully this was a learning lesson for him too, to.
Like make a decision totally. I'm sure.
I'm sure it's challenge for him and he's he's got some life lessons from it, and I'm happy that you have too, Like there is something to be said about like putting yourself out there and trying something new and maybe it wasn't what you expected, but now that you have this experience and you are in the public eye, you get to speak on it and and be someone who is an inspiration and relatable for other people.
So I think that's very admissing.
I don't regret it at all.
I had the time of my life, even with the aftermath, Like I still I loved the experience, and I loved falling in love, and I loved being on camera, and I loved every girl I met, and I have this family for life because nobody, nobody understands what we went through together, and so there was so much good that came out of it. And even with the negative situation that came out of it, it is a positive because I.
Finally got my lesson of don't go.
For these guys anymore, so I can like actually start looking at real lasting relationships with like respectful, respectable, nice guys and help other women who have gone through something similar.
So and you're so young, like it kept flashing you know you're only like what are you twenty eight now?
Or are you still twenty seven?
But apparently, according to the Internet, I'm lying about my age. There are entire forums about it. I've learned that I am a vampire and that there's something off.
So, oh oh, what are you on Reddit?
No, I made the mistake. I'm going on Reddit. Don't do it.
I'll do it for your mental health.
This is even on TikTok where I got a comment where it's like something's off. I think she's a vampire.
It's wild.
I was like, that'd be pretty cool if I was.
Oh my gosh, Renee, thank you so much for coming on. Where can the listeners follow you? On your socials?
On both Instagram and TikTok, it's at Renee period ash r E N E E period A s H.
And just to clear this up, Ash is my last name, government given like cool. People try to fight me that that's my last name. I don't know what to.
Tell you that it's such a cool last name.
They're like, there's one thing I got blessed with and it is my name like I.
Do like that. Awesome. Thanks for joining me today.
Thank you so much, Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes grog Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for solusive video content at Rachel Gosrogue Podcast