What if the biggest challenge in your relationships isn't finding the right person, but understanding the person doing the choosing? This week on QUESTION EVERYTHING, relationship therapist and bestselling author Vienna Pharaon joins Danielle to unpack the hidden wounds that shape our dating lives, relationships, and marriages. From the five core origin wounds we all carry to the surprising reason we keep repeating the same patterns, Vienna explains how childhood experiences quietly influence who we're attracted to, what we tolerate, and why some relationships feel impossible to leave. Together, they explore the difference between chemistry and compatibility, why awareness alone isn't enough to create change, how emotional maturity transforms relationships, and the questions healthy couples ask that most people avoid. Plus, Vienna shares her thoughts on modern dating, reality TV relationships, betrayal, healing, and the one question everyone should ask themselves about their childhood. In this episode, you’ll also learn: 
Why Vienna believes most relationship problems start long before we meet our partners
The five core wounds shaping your dating patterns, relationships, and marriage
How childhood experiences influence who you're attracted to and why you stay
The surprising reason we often choose familiarity over healthy love
Why awareness alone isn't enough to break unhealthy relationship patterns
How to identify whether you're choosing someone from love or from a wound
The hidden connection between shame, emotional immaturity, and defensiveness
Why people-pleasing and shape-shifting can sabotage your relationships
How childhood attachment wounds show up in dating and long-term partnerships
Why emotionally mature couples handle conflict differently
The relationship questions healthy couples ask that most people avoid
Vienna's take on Love Island, Love Is Blind, and what reality dating shows reveal about modern relationships
Why "if they wanted to, they would" isn't always true
Vienna weighs in on Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet's romance and why she thinks they’ll last 
The one childhood question that could completely change how you understand yourself and your relationships

 

Make sure to check out Vienna’s book The Origins of You, and follow her on Instagram @mindfulmft 

What if the biggest challenge in your relationships isn't finding the right person, but understanding the person doing the choosing? This week on QUESTION EVERYTHING, relationship therapist and bestselling author Vienna Pharaon joins Danielle to unpack the hidden wounds that shape our dating lives, relationships, and marriages. From the five core origin wounds we all carry to the surprising reason we keep repeating the same patterns, Vienna explains how childhood experiences quietly influence who we're attracted to, what we tolerate, and why some relationships feel impossible to leave. Together, they explore the difference between chemistry and compatibility, why awareness alone isn't enough to create change, how emotional maturity transforms relationships, and the questions healthy couples ask that most people avoid. Plus, Vienna shares her thoughts on modern dating, reality TV relationships, betrayal, healing, and the one question everyone should ask themselves about their childhood. In this episode, you&rsquo;ll also learn:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why Vienna believes most relationship problems start long before we meet our partners</li>
<li aria-level="1">The five core wounds shaping your dating patterns, relationships, and marriage</li>
<li aria-level="1">How childhood experiences influence who you're attracted to and why you stay</li>
<li aria-level="1">The surprising reason we often choose familiarity over healthy love</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why awareness alone isn't enough to break unhealthy relationship patterns</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to identify whether you're choosing someone from love or from a wound</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden connection between shame, emotional immaturity, and defensiveness</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why people-pleasing and shape-shifting can sabotage your relationships</li>
<li aria-level="1">How childhood attachment wounds show up in dating and long-term partnerships</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why emotionally mature couples handle conflict differently</li>
<li aria-level="1">The relationship questions healthy couples ask that most people avoid</li>
<li aria-level="1">Vienna's take on Love Island, Love Is Blind, and what reality dating shows reveal about modern relationships</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why "if they wanted to, they would" isn't always true</li>
<li aria-level="1">Vienna weighs in on Kylie Jenner and Timoth&eacute;e Chalamet's romance and why she thinks they&rsquo;ll last&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">The one childhood question that could completely change how you understand yourself and your relationships</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Make sure to check out Vienna&rsquo;s book <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-origins-of-you-how-breaking-family-patterns-can-liberate-the-way-we-live-and-love-vienna-pharaon/de96bb9e57bacf53?utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=cpc&amp;utm_campaign=dsa_nonbrand&amp;utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D&amp;utm_term=aud-1721779758455:dsa-19959388920&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gad_campaignid=12440232635&amp;gbraid=0AAAAACfld42Ez4yXDTGD_1HxLkCQ7UgN9&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjw9NjRBhATEiwA_p2J8edUOeok0-YQvZrDSGS2d9ee-Oy7Hvd0wB0bhvkXKEjuo9qQLODAjRoClWcQAvD_BwE">The Origins of You</a>, and follow her on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/?hl=en">@mindfulmft</a>&nbsp;

Behind every headline is a person + a deeper story. Question Everything with journalist Danielle Robay cuts through social media buzz to uncover the voices, ideas, and cultural moments that shape how we see the world. Each week, she asks bold questions that challenge assumptions and reveal the nuance behind the narratives, inviting you to look closer at the world, and at yourself. Because there's always more to the story.
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Danielle is also the creator of the bestselling QUESTION EVERYTHING card game series, which has sparked connection and conversation in thousands of living rooms around the world. She's also the co-executive producer (alongside Reese Witherspoon) and host of Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club. With her signature curiosity—dubbed "The Queen of Questions"—and a background in political science, Danielle brings both heart and rigor to every conversation. A Gloria Steinem Fellow and mentee of Larry King, she's carried forward a legacy of curiosity and connection, interviewing icons from Taylor Swift to Malala Yousafzai in more than 8,000 hours of elevated conversation.

QUESTION EVERYTHING

You Will Marry the Wrong Person (Couples Therapist Vienna Pharaon)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/0e33a538-1149-428b-be4a-b474007abd90/transcript