What is etiquette in the modern age? In this episode of Question Everything, Danielle speaks with with two modern etiquette authorities: Elaine Swann, the expert the New York Times calls “The Emily Post of the Digital Age,” and Sarah Jane Ho, Netflix host and host of the Mind Your Manners podcast, as well as an Eastern wellness expert. Together, they unpack how we have lost decorum, what’s actually going on with our social skills, and why “just be yourself” might be the worst advice we’ve ever normalized. From dating, weddings, and group chats to social media, power, and belonging, this conversation is a sharp, funny, and deeply human look at how to move through the world with more confidence, clarity, and grace. In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why etiquette isn’t dead—but why it feels more confusing than ever
Have we lost decorum?! And why?
Why “just be yourself” became bad advice in a socially complex world
Solution to our social skills feel rusty after the pandemic and life online
How social media and digital life changed the rules of behavior
The hidden rules of modern dating 
What’s actually considered rude now
The wedding etiquette arms race and what couples really owe their guests
Who pays the biggest social price for bad manners (and why)
The difference between being polite and being a pushover
How to set boundaries, tell the truth, and still be gracious
The small habits that make people feel respected, comfortable, and at ease

Book Links (via Bookshop.org — always support independent bookstores):

Mind Your Manners by Sara Jane Ho

Elaine Swann’s Book of Modern Etiquette by Elaine Swann

 

Follow the Guests:

Sara Jane Ho — Instagram, TikTok

Elaine Swann — Instagram, TikTok 

 

Learn More:

Elaine Swann’s Etiquette School: The Swann School of Protocol

Sara Jane Ho’s Personal Care Brand: Antevorta 

 

Book Recommendations

Book recommendation from Sara Jane Ho: Manifest Now By IDIL Ahmed 

Book recommendation from Elaine Swann: Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

What is etiquette in the modern age? In this episode of Question Everything, Danielle speaks with with two modern etiquette authorities: Elaine Swann, the expert the New York Times calls &ldquo;The Emily Post of the Digital Age,&rdquo; and Sarah Jane Ho, Netflix host and host of the Mind Your Manners podcast, as well as an Eastern wellness expert. Together, they unpack how we have lost decorum, what&rsquo;s actually going on with our social skills, and why &ldquo;just be yourself&rdquo; might be the worst advice we&rsquo;ve ever normalized. From dating, weddings, and group chats to social media, power, and belonging, this conversation is a sharp, funny, and deeply human look at how to move through the world with more confidence, clarity, and grace. In this episode, you&rsquo;ll learn:
<ul>
<li>Why etiquette isn&rsquo;t dead&mdash;but why it feels more confusing than ever</li>
<li>Have we lost decorum?! And why?</li>
<li>Why &ldquo;just be yourself&rdquo; became bad advice in a socially complex world</li>
<li>Solution to our social skills feel rusty after the pandemic and life online</li>
<li>How social media and digital life changed the rules of behavior</li>
<li>The hidden rules of modern dating&nbsp;</li>
<li>What&rsquo;s actually considered rude now</li>
<li>The wedding etiquette arms race and what couples really owe their guests</li>
<li>Who pays the biggest social price for bad manners (and why)</li>
<li>The difference between being polite and being a pushover</li>
<li>How to set boundaries, tell the truth, and still be gracious</li>
<li>The small habits that make people feel respected, comfortable, and at ease</li>
</ul>
Book Links (via Bookshop.org &mdash; always support independent bookstores):
<a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/mind-your-manners-how-to-be-your-best-self-in-any-situation-sara-jane-ho/3a6bb1a2a6e81ddb?ean=9780306832833&amp;next=t&amp;&amp;utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=cpc&amp;utm_campaign=dsa_nonbrand&amp;utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D&amp;utm_term=aud-1187518993648:dsa-19959388920&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gad_campaignid=12440232635&amp;gbraid=0AAAAACfld42-Iw60lD0wrbJIRHUI82nBf&amp;gclid=CjwKCAiAs4HMBhBJEiwACrfNZWzDPIgx_hKOoN4q2Gi2dGtZiO9fn4wSglBj2D2uzTHFeKqlTTXN5BoCdiwQAvD_BwE">Mind Your Manners by Sara Jane Ho</a>
<a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/elaine-swann-s-book-of-modern-etiquette-elaine-swann/48542d7187db7da5">Elaine Swann&rsquo;s Book of Modern Etiquette by Elaine Swann</a>
&nbsp;
Follow the Guests:
Sara Jane Ho &mdash; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/sarajaneho/?hl=en">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@sarajaneho?lang=en">TikTok</a>
Elaine Swann &mdash; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/elaineswann/?hl=en">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@elaineswann">TikTok</a>&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Learn More:
<a href="https://swannschool.com/">Elaine Swann&rsquo;s Etiquette School: The Swann School of Protocol</a>
Sara Jane Ho&rsquo;s Personal Care Brand: <a href="https://antevortalabs.com/collections/shop-all">Antevorta</a>&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Book Recommendations
Book recommendation from Sara Jane Ho: <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/manifest-now-idil-ahmed/4d76da1e51bbe299?ean=9781732388505&amp;next=t&amp;">Manifest Now</a> By IDIL Ahmed&nbsp;
Book recommendation from Elaine Swann: <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/safe-people-how-to-find-relationships-that-are-good-for-you-and-avoid-those-that-aren-t-dr-henry-cloud/974b7721334c3166?ean=9780310345794&amp;next=t&amp;">Safe People</a> by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Behind every headline is a person + a deeper story. Question Everything with journalist Danielle Robay cuts through social media buzz to uncover the voices, ideas, and cultural moments that shape how we see the world. Each week, she asks bold questions that challenge assumptions and reveal the nuance behind the narratives, inviting you to look closer at the world, and at yourself. Because there's always more to the story.
——
Danielle is also the creator of the bestselling QUESTION EVERYTHING card game series, which has sparked connection and conversation in thousands of living rooms around the world. She's also the co-executive producer (alongside Reese Witherspoon) and host of Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club. With her signature curiosity—dubbed "The Queen of Questions"—and a background in political science, Danielle brings both heart and rigor to every conversation. A Gloria Steinem Fellow and mentee of Larry King, she's carried forward a legacy of curiosity and connection, interviewing icons from Taylor Swift to Malala Yousafzai in more than 8,000 hours of elevated conversation.

QUESTION EVERYTHING

The Social Rules Everyone Broke (And Why We’re All So Awkward Now)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/de7a42ae-a9c7-4ecd-a86a-b3e800005ebc/transcript