Ever shared something vulnerable and immediately wished you could take it back? That sinking feeling has a name: the vulnerability hangover. Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist Dr. Leslie John joins Danielle to unpack the surprising science of self-disclosure, why we often regret what we don't say more than what we do, and how revealing a little more, at work, in dating, and in friendship, can actually deepen trust, strengthen relationships, and change the way we connect. In this episode Dr. John shares:


Why we regret what we hide more than what we reveal
The science behind trust and human connection
How to know if you're oversharing—or simply being honest
Why vulnerability feels so uncomfortable
The psychology of revealing secrets
How social media has changed the way we share our lives
The difference between authentic vulnerability and performative sharing
Why revealing a little more can improve your relationships
The "Goldilocks Principle" of self-disclosure
How to have difficult conversations without saying too much
What to share on first dates (and what to save for later)
How vulnerability can make you a better leader at work
Why you should only list a few personality traits on your dating profile.
Why reciprocity is the key to building deeper friendships
Practical advice for overcoming the fear of opening up
How to tell if someone is revealing to connect, or revealing to perform.
Why relationships should be built "like a fire," slowly, one reveal at a time.
The biggest first-date red flag: skipping straight to trauma dumping.

Dr. John’s Book Recommendations: Difficult Conversations and Unreasonable Hospitality

Grab a copy of Dr. John’s book, Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, here.

Follow Dr. John on Instagram.

Ever shared something vulnerable and immediately wished you could take it back? That sinking feeling has a name: the vulnerability hangover. Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist Dr. Leslie John joins Danielle to unpack the surprising science of self-disclosure, why we often regret what we don't say more than what we do, and how revealing a little more, at work, in dating, and in friendship, can actually deepen trust, strengthen relationships, and change the way we connect. In this episode Dr. John shares: 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why we regret what we hide more than what we reveal</li>
<li aria-level="1">The science behind trust and human connection</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to know if you're oversharing&mdash;or simply being honest</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why vulnerability feels so uncomfortable</li>
<li aria-level="1">The psychology of revealing secrets</li>
<li aria-level="1">How social media has changed the way we share our lives</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between authentic vulnerability and performative sharing</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why revealing a little more can improve your relationships</li>
<li aria-level="1">The "Goldilocks Principle" of self-disclosure</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to have difficult conversations without saying too much</li>
<li aria-level="1">What to share on first dates (and what to save for later)</li>
<li aria-level="1">How vulnerability can make you a better leader at work</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why you should only list a few personality traits on your dating profile.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why reciprocity is the key to building deeper friendships</li>
<li aria-level="1">Practical advice for overcoming the fear of opening up</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to tell if someone is revealing to connect, or revealing to perform.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why relationships should be built "like a fire," slowly, one reveal at a time.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The biggest first-date red flag: skipping straight to trauma dumping.</li>
</ul>
Dr. John&rsquo;s Book Recommendations: <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/difficult-conversations-how-to-discuss-what-matters-most-bruce-patton/0b50c34f473b90e9?ean=9780143137597&amp;utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=cpc&amp;utm_campaign=%7Bcampaignname%7D&amp;utm_content=6443417794&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gad_campaignid=16235479093&amp;gbraid=0AAAAACfld41liPkuuZ4IvJqlh_lSYYdlp&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjw1bvTBhBbEiwAzbP8L4fSgCFQ2NoA7St15sKzs8rI6A4r9_-1ebg87zGYnLh6eY8ubdMUehoCClUQAvD_BwE">Difficult Conversations</a> and <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/unreasonable-hospitality-the-remarkable-power-of-giving-people-more-than-they-expect-will-guidara/21c4f9caebded909">Unreasonable Hospitality</a>
Grab a copy of Dr. John&rsquo;s book, Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/revealing-the-underrated-power-of-oversharing-leslie-john/e5ff80949232136e?ean=9780593545386&amp;next=t&amp;&amp;utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=cpc&amp;utm_campaign=dsa_nonbrand&amp;utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D&amp;utm_term=aud-1721779758455:dsa-19959388920&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gad_campaignid=12440232635&amp;gbraid=0AAAAACfld40BrOS1xpnAL6efZNYWZMgFF&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQjwg5zTBhCLARIsAP2AFU7CXgRr32nvtlO2qkFlKbwdEYa4wko-HMHKntm_R6K0ghQSLwZG-5YaAtY8EALw_wcB">here</a>.
Follow Dr. John on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/proflesliejohn/?hl=en">Instagram</a>.

There are celebrity interviews, and there are life-changing conversations. On Question Everything, you get both. Journalist Danielle Robay has a rare gift: she makes people feel safe + seen enough to tell the truth. Every week, she draws out the stories the world's most fascinating people rarely get to tell– the heartbreaks, the risks, the controversies, the beliefs they had to unlearn to become who they are and every now and then, their thoughts on the Bravoverse. You'll come for their story. You'll leave rethinking your own.

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Danielle is also the creator of the bestselling QUESTION EVERYTHING card game series, which has sparked connection in thousands of living rooms around the world, and the co-executive producer and host of Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, alongside Reese Witherspoon. Dubbed "The Queen of Questions," she brings both heart and rigor to every conversation — a background in political science, a Gloria Steinem Fellowship, and a mentorship under Larry King, whose legacy of curiosity and connection she's carried forward across more than 8,000 hours of interviews with icons from Taylor Swift to Malala Yousafzai.

There are celebrity interviews, and there are life-changing conversations. On Question Everything, you get both. Journalist Danielle Robay has a rare gift: she makes people feel safe + seen enough to tell the truth. Every week, she draws out the stories the world's most fascinating people rarely get to tell&ndash; the heartbreaks, the risks, the controversies, the beliefs they had to unlearn to become who they are and every now and then, their thoughts on the Bravoverse. You'll come for their story. You'll leave rethinking your own.
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Danielle is also the creator of the bestselling QUESTION EVERYTHING card game series, which has sparked connection in thousands of living rooms around the world, and the co-executive producer and host of&nbsp;Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, alongside Reese Witherspoon. Dubbed "The Queen of Questions," she brings both heart and rigor to every conversation &mdash; a background in political science, a Gloria Steinem Fellowship, and a mentorship under Larry King, whose legacy of curiosity and connection she's carried forward across more than 8,000 hours of interviews with icons from Taylor Swift to Malala Yousafzai.

QUESTION EVERYTHING

Behind every headline is a person + a deeper story. Question Everything with journalist Danielle Robay cuts through social media buzz to uncover the voices, ideas, and cultural moments that shape how we see the world. Each week, she asks bold questions that challenge assumptions and reveal the nuance behind the narratives, inviting you to look closer at the world, and at yourself. Because there's always more to the story.
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Danielle is also the creator of the bestselling QUESTION EVERYTHING card game series, which has sparked connection and conversation in thousands of living rooms around the world. She's also the co-executive producer (alongside Reese Witherspoon) and host of Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club. With her signature curiosity—dubbed "The Queen of Questions"—and a background in political science, Danielle brings both heart and rigor to every conversation. A Gloria Steinem Fellow and mentee of Larry King, she's carried forward a legacy of curiosity and connection, interviewing icons from Taylor Swift to Malala Yousafzai in more than 8,000 hours of elevated conversation.

Oversharing: Are You Doing Too Much or Too Little of It? with Dr. Leslie John (Harvard)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/399d48b4-d2ca-4d0a-ae75-b4a901581a7d/transcript