$25 for a new life, and the need to be nudged. Should we not be driving from dead centre? Tradwife sippy cup fertility mug. The fear of looking like a pile of lymph leads Jacqueline to thrilling appointments with specialists, and then on a designer men’s shoe chase. An IV drip and a B12 shot in the ass—ring me up! Dreams of a backyard sauna…but will Kate draw the line at cold plunge? Blue eyeshadow for dancing, Black Honey from mother. The poison is the dose, and a decision with a countdown is Jacqueline’s worst nightmare. Energetic exchange when they come for you. Suit by Amazon, shoes by OfferUp, and a life devoted to returns. What you really need is the drum pad and two sticks. 

Mentioned: Yerba Mate, Backcountry, Joanna Czech, Kosha Spa, Environ, Ricari studios, Pause, Renew Sauna, Plunge Magic,  Credo Beauty,  ILIA, Celsius, Ferragamo, The Row