Did you know that defensiveness not only causes a cortisol spike, but also releases the powerful enzyme aromatase, and that has an effect on testosterone?

In this show, we’re hearing some more reflections from John Gray—one of my favorite podcast guests ever who always brings the most profound insights—about how to avoid breaking up and instead, reconnect with your partner. You will learn the most common causes that lead to breakups, why marriage statistics are not reliable, what to do when your partner is not happy, and why sexual desire is our strongest drive and of top importance in our relationship. You will also hear great, effective tips for making communication easier with your partner, like how John advises women to “express everything as a preference” since most men just want to be your hero, and as John explains, we have to realize that we are most vulnerable with people we are closest to and most humans don’t like criticism in general. You will also learn what phrase is usually the man’s signal to cease the talking (which, if it continues, will cause the man to get defensive—and this poses problems as it causes a cortisol spike which releases aromatase, and this causes testosterone to convert to estrogen!). 

If you are single or in a relationship, you don’t want to miss this show—you will learn so much that will positively affect your relationships, like why you should never try to change the other person, and why you should never make continued requests or demands, why John says to never speak when you have a negative emotional charge (as a man, but this is good advice for all), and more!



TIMESTAMPS:

Some of the major causes of relationship breakups are suppressed emotions and communication problems. [00:49]

Keep yourself happy.  Do not depend on your partner to make you happy. [03:39]

Ideally, the man wants to feel like the hero, the guy who can come through for the partner and family. [04:55]

It works better when women express things as a preference and compliment your partner for doing things. [08:53]

It is man’s basic nature to solve problems so if you just want him to listen, you need to say that. [09:47]

If a man says, “I hear you,” that is the signal for the woman to stop talking. [10:45]

Don’t try to change the other person. Many women are unaware of how controlling they are. [15:33]

Men: never speak with a negative emotional charge and learn how to make a graceful exit. [19:51]

Men can take the time away to reflect on their contribution and see what triggers there are. [21:41]

Learn to validate the women’s challenges. [29:46]

What techniques can the male learn to deal with emotional disturbances or relationship conflict? Number one: live your life so you don’t have to say “I’m sorry” so often. [30:43]

You don’t have to get defensive, men. Execute the desired behavior.  It doesn’t mean you are caving in. [32:32]

You must understand relationships as a 80-20 proposition. [36:52]

The number one most attractive thing a partner can do is watching your partner excel from a distance. [39:39]

Remind yourself there are times when it’s not your problem to solve, but you can be supportive. [41:00]

Sex spikes testosterone. [42:42]



LINKS:
Brad Kearns.com
Brad’s Shopping page
B.rad Whey Protein Isolate Superfuel - The Best Protein on The Planet! Available in Two Delicious Flavors: Vanilla Bean and Cocoa Bean
NEW: B.rad Superfruits - Organic Freeze-Dried Exotic Fruit Powder! Natural Electrolyte Hydration & Energy Powder
Beyond Mars and Venus
Podcast with Dr. Wendy Walsh
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Podcast with John Gray
The Primal Blueprint



Join Brad for more fun on: 

Instagram: @bradkearns1

Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh

Twitter: @bradleykearns

YouTube: @brad.kearns

TikTok: @bradkearns



We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&A shows, emailed to podcast@bradventures.com. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you!

Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, I won’t promote anything that I don't absolutely love and use in daily life:
Peluva: Comfortable, functional, stylish five-toe minimalist shoe to reawaken optimal foot function. Use code BRADPODCAST for 15% off!
Mito Red Light: Photobiomodulation light panels to enhance cellular energy production, improve recovery, and optimize circadian rhythm. Use code BRAD for 5% discount!
GAINSWave: Enhance sexual function with high frequency shockwave therapy. Buy 6 and get one treatment free with code: BRAD
Wild Health: Comprehensive online health consultation with blood and DNA testing, personal coaching and precision medicine. Get things dialed in! Use discount code BRAD20 for 20% off!
Take The Cold Plunge online course!
B.rad Whey + Creatine Superfuel: Premium quality, all-natural supplement for peak performance, recovery, and longevity. New Cocoa Bean flavor!
Online educational courses: Numerous great offerings for an immersive home-study educational experience
Primal Fitness Expert Certification: The most comprehensive online course on all aspects of traditional fitness programming and a total immersion fitness lifestyle. Save 25% on tuition with code BRAD!
Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement

Brad's Favorites on Amazon

I have a newly organized shopping experience at BradKearns.com/Shop. Visit here and you can navigate to my B.rad Nutrition products (for direct order or Amazon order), my library of online multimedia educational courses, great discounts from my affiliate favorites, and my recommended health&fitness products on Amazon.

Did you know that defensiveness not only causes a cortisol spike, but also releases the powerful enzyme aromatase, and that has an effect on testosterone?
In this show, we’re hearing some more reflections from John Gray—one of my favorite podcast guests ever who always brings the most profound insights—about how to avoid breaking up and instead, reconnect with your partner. You will learn the most common causes that lead to breakups, why marriage statistics are not reliable, what to do when your partner is not happy, and why sexual desire is our strongest drive and of top importance in our relationship. You will also hear great, effective tips for making communication easier with your partner, like how John advises women to “express everything as a preference” since most men just want to be your hero, and as John explains, we have to realize that we are most vulnerable with people we are closest to and most humans don’t like criticism in general. You will also learn what phrase is usually the man’s signal to cease the talking (which, if it continues, will cause the man to get defensive—and this poses problems as it causes a cortisol spike which releases aromatase, and this causes testosterone to convert to estrogen!). 
If you are single or in a relationship, you don’t want to miss this show—you will learn so much that will positively affect your relationships, like why you should never try to change the other person, and why you should never make continued requests or demands, why John says to never speak when you have a negative emotional charge (as a man, but this is good advice for all), and more!
 
TIMESTAMPS:
Some of the major causes of relationship breakups are suppressed emotions and communication problems. [00:49]
Keep yourself happy.  Do not depend on your partner to make you happy. [03:39]
Ideally, the man wants to feel like the hero, the guy who can come through for the partner and family. [04:55]
It works better when women express things as a preference and compliment your partner for doing things. [08:53]
It is man’s basic nature to solve problems so if you just want him to listen, you need to say that. [09:47]
If a man says, “I hear you,” that is the signal for the woman to stop talking. [10:45]
Don’t try to change the other person. Many women are unaware of how controlling they are. [15:33]
Men: never speak with a negative emotional charge and learn how to make a graceful exit. [19:51]
Men can take the time away to reflect on their contribution and see what triggers there are. [21:41]
Learn to validate the women’s challenges. [29:46]
What techniques can the male learn to deal with emotional disturbances or relationship conflict? Number one: live your life so you don’t have to say “I’m sorry” so often. [30:43]
You don’t have to get defensive, men. Execute the desired behavior.  It doesn’t mean you are caving in. [32:32]
You must understand relationships as a 80-20 proposition. [36:52]
The number one most attractive thing a partner can do is watching your partner excel from a distance. [39:39]
Remind yourself there are times when it’s not your problem to solve, but you can be supportive. [41:00]
Sex spikes testosterone. [42:42]
 
LINKS:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://bradkearns.com/podcast-index/">Brad Kearns.com</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.bradkearns.com/shop/">Brad’s Shopping page</a></li>
<li><a href="https://a.co/d/731gssV">B.rad Whey Protein Isolate Superfuel - The Best Protein on The Planet! Available in Two Delicious Flavors: Vanilla Bean and Cocoa Bean</a></li>
<li><a href="https://a.co/d/epLtwgg">NEW: B.rad Superfruits - Organic Freeze-Dried Exotic Fruit Powder! Natural Electrolyte Hydration &amp; Energy Powder</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Mars-Venus-Relationship-Complex/dp/1953295134/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1689887538&amp;sr=8-1">Beyond Mars and Venus</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bradkearns.com/2022/02/22/dr-wendy-walsh-free-couples-therapy/">Podcast with Dr. Wendy Walsh</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Hardback/dp/B00FKYFXEE/ref=sr_1_2?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.DFt1vy39EdCgoS9FplAosNimve7IJE2nCYkKhPPVDfrKD3V2f0xTqlce3sudDIMvobktOeUXMGXd-HId42KYVu0lL9ntdcEpBX7N_uNnv5RJZkyao_yPFSFGfllvXo42ITF8x5iYokwm_y5wjvf2lIDdUr_Pv_mi1q2sLLVY64CR1fcrloaklsZA0Qk_PKAVoqsi6Z2PLl_Ls2JcXCcISus8ZcJ4z4x9dq67JjLihEBU7JvBmxQsTx6qg4nnLcDFVisHwFpxojwph1pRedhHo8y4N2F2er0gGvLY8WavBwc.FSWtDUkV3ato3KSxaUlyB02Hq3TU-HTlMySH7t0tO44&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;hvadid=662948257195&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvlocphy=9031175&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=9670982326729070577&amp;hvtargid=kwd-423659947098&amp;hydadcr=27915_14512635&amp;keywords=man+from+mars+woman+from+venus&amp;qid=1723395721&amp;sr=8-2">Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bradkearns.com/2024/06/04/john-gray-sex-hugs-and-rock-solid-relationship-tips-how-couples-can-regain-lost-magic-quickly/">Podcast with John Gray</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Blueprint-Mark-Sisson/dp/193956347X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1YKONUSHPDWC1&amp;keywords=The+Primal+Blueprint&amp;qid=1649291364&amp;s=books&amp;sprefix=the+primal+blueprint%2Cstripbooks%2C126&amp;sr=1-1">The Primal Blueprint</a></li>
</ul>
 
Join Brad for more fun on: 
Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/bradkearns1/">@bradkearns1</a>
Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/bradkearnsjumphigh">@bradkearnsjumphigh</a>
Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/bradleykearns">@bradleykearns</a>
YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4XXEoULD0AiiuPHdRw-Efg">@brad.kearns</a>
TikTok: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@bradkearns">@bradkearns</a>
 
We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&amp;A shows, emailed to <a href="mailto:getoveryourselfpodcast@gmail.com">podcast@bradventures.com</a>. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you!
Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, I won’t promote anything that I don't absolutely love and use in daily life:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://peluva.com/?sscid=91k7_1q58j" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://peluva.com/?sscid%3D91k7_1q58j&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0AUDXoSdWPX_Ciu3aYkZgb">Peluva</a>: Comfortable, functional, stylish five-toe minimalist shoe to reawaken optimal foot function. Use code BRADPODCAST for 15% off!</li>
<li><a href="https://www.mitoredlight.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.mitoredlight.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3yB4vB7v9Poi3yXqxwGAz3">Mito Red Light: </a>Photobiomodulation light panels to enhance cellular energy production, improve recovery, and optimize circadian rhythm. Use code BRAD for 5% discount!</li>
<li><a href="https://gainswave.com/brad/">GAINSWave:</a> Enhance sexual function with high frequency shockwave therapy. Buy 6 and get one treatment free with code: BRAD</li>
<li><a href="http://www.wildhealth.com/brad" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.wildhealth.com/brad&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1708294722427000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0neG9pETMXwq8aIYaHiSSw">Wild Health</a>: Comprehensive online health consultation with blood and DNA testing, personal coaching and precision medicine. Get things dialed in! Use discount code BRAD20 for 20% off!<a href="https://bradkearns.com/cold-plunge/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bradkearns.com/cold-plunge/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw27DgKhjBJfGIMO3NtOPzQ0"></a></li>
<li><a href="https://bradkearns.com/cold-plunge/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bradkearns.com/cold-plunge/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw27DgKhjBJfGIMO3NtOPzQ0">Take The Cold Plunge online course!</a></li>
<li><a href="http://bradnutrition.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://bradnutrition.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3apw1dYkrVMPM-KjVKpCcO">B.rad Whey + Creatine Superfuel</a>: Premium quality, all-natural supplement for peak performance, recovery, and longevity. New Cocoa Bean flavor!</li>
<li><a href="https://bradventures.thinkific.com/collections" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bradventures.thinkific.com/collections&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1KeAmB6wYGR3eDWYt8u7Ua">Online educational courses:</a> Numerous great offerings for an immersive home-study educational experience</li>
<li><a href="https://www.primalhealthcoach.com/brad/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.primalhealthcoach.com/brad/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2vUrRhcuAvTXFcj8wSH8bW">Primal Fitness Expert Certification</a>: The most comprehensive online course on all aspects of traditional fitness programming and a total immersion fitness lifestyle. Save 25% on tuition with code BRAD!</li>
<li><a href="https://bradkearns.com/mofo/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bradkearns.com/mofo/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0KmIx_5nS8Hn8DUqcyyAXv">Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO):</a> Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement</li>
</ul>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/4CCAC4F3-30B1-4459-8312-32EB4121B3D6?ingress=2&amp;visitId=d1dce474-2c5c-4ded-9955-c651e670f542">Brad's Favorites on Amazon</a>
I have a newly organized shopping experience at <a href="http://BradKearns.com/Shop" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://BradKearns.com/Shop&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1694035602925000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2lTUZJbyIoAHm8ftaBtnHA">BradKearns.com/Shop</a>. Visit here and you can navigate to my B.rad Nutrition products (for direct order or Amazon order), my library of online multimedia educational courses, great discounts from my affiliate favorites, and my recommended health&amp;fitness products on Amazon.

Join Brad Kearns, New York Times bestselling author and champion triathlete, Speedgolfer, and masters high jumper, in pursuing peak performance with passion throughout life. Enjoy memorable insights from leading experts on diet, fitness, peak performance, personal growth, relationships, happiness, and longevity. Brad’s “Breather” shows provide step-by-step tips you can implement right away to improve your life. Let’s explore beyond shortcuts, hacks, and crushing competition to laugh, have fun, appreciate the journey, and not take ourselves too seriously. It’s time to B.rad!

Join Brad Kearns, New York Times bestselling author and champion triathlete, Speedgolfer, and masters high jumper, in pursuing peak performance with passion throughout life. Enjoy memorable insights from leading experts on diet, fitness, peak performance, personal growth, relationships, happiness, and longevity. Brad’s “Breather” shows provide step-by-step tips you can implement right away to improve your life. Let’s explore beyond shortcuts, hacks, and crushing competition to laugh, have fun, appreciate the journey, and not take ourselves too seriously. It’s time to B.rad!

Brad Kearns, NY Times bestselling author and Guinness World Record athlete,  offers a fun and diverse mix of interviews with leading authors and health experts, and "Breather" shows for peak performance and personal growth

The B.rad Podcast

Join Brad Kearns, New York Times bestselling author and champion triathlete, speedgolfer, and masters high jumper, in pursuing peak performance with passion throughout life, without taking ourselves too seriously! You'll learn from experts on diet, fitness, peak performance, and personal growth, and enjoy Brad's brief "Breather” shows where you get simple, actionable tips to improve your life right away. Let’s explore beyond hype, hacks, shortcuts, and sciency talk to laugh, have fun, and appreciate the journey. It’s time to B.rad!

Join Brad Kearns, New York Times bestselling author and champion triathlete, speedgolfer, and masters high jumper, in pursuing peak performance with passion throughout life, without taking ourselves too seriously! You'll learn from experts on diet, fitness, peak performance, and personal growth, and enjoy Brad's brief "Breather” shows where you get simple, actionable tips to improve your life right away. Let’s explore beyond hype, hacks, shortcuts, and sciency talk to laugh, have fun, and appreciate the journey. It’s time to B.rad!

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