It's the Perry and Shaunna podcast on the real life journey with you, reminding you that you are ABBA's beloved child and that Jesus has called you into his massive mission to heal the world.

It's the Perry and Shaunna podcast on the real life journey with you, reminding you that you are ABBA's beloved child and that Jesus has called you into his massive mission to heal the world.

And I've been pretty honest about my battle with anxiety, but there was a point when I locked myself in my bedroom and I dialed nine one, and with my hand over the other one, I walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Oftentimes with anxiety is the idea that nobody could possibly understand what we're experiencing. And though the circumstances are different, we all deal with anxiety. We're not as alone as we think, and it helps when we share our stories. Tessa, what started your battle with anxiety and discouragement?

And I've been pretty honest about my battle with anxiety, but there was a point when I locked myself in my bedroom and I dialed nine one, and with my hand over the other one, I walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Oftentimes with anxiety is the idea that nobody could possibly understand what we're experiencing. And though the circumstances are different, we all deal with anxiety. We're not as alone as we think, and it helps when we share our stories. Tessa, what started your battle with anxiety and discouragement?

I think that for me, the seeds were sown when I was very young, but I was very unaware of it. And it was about 20, a little over 20 years ago now when I went through a season of burnout with my job. It was essentially because I had been working beyond my capacity. I had been pressing against both physically and emotionally for a long period of time. I think we all have a certain kind of capacity, and God sometimes allows us a limited period of intense labor, but really, he intends for us to have that biblical pattern of rest and work. And I was pressing against that. So I kind of went through this season of burnout, because for me, that season had become a way of life. And the burnout then gave to anxiety. I had to take some time off work, and then I started asking questions about, well, what if I don't get better? What if this is my life? What if I can't pay the mortgage? You know, things like that. And because I was asking those questions so often, it became a pattern in my mind. And so then the anxiety turned like this general shadow wherever I went. When I woke up, I didn't even have to think about those specific questions. I just felt anxious.

I think that for me, the seeds were sown when I was very young, but I was very unaware of it. And it was about 20, a little over 20 years ago now when I went through a season of burnout with my job. It was essentially because I had been working beyond my capacity. I had been pressing against both physically and emotionally for a long period of time. I think we all have a certain kind of capacity, and God sometimes allows us a limited period of intense labor, but really, he intends for us to have that biblical pattern of rest and work. And I was pressing against that. So I kind of went through this season of burnout, because for me, that season had become a way of life. And the burnout then gave to anxiety. I had to take some time off work, and then I started asking questions about, well, what if I don't get better? What if this is my life? What if I can't pay the mortgage? You know, things like that. And because I was asking those questions so often, it became a pattern in my mind. And so then the anxiety turned like this general shadow wherever I went. When I woke up, I didn't even have to think about those specific questions. I just felt anxious.

Before it became a constant state of being. Did you know that you were dealing with anxiety?

Before it became a constant state of being. Did you know that you were dealing with anxiety?

I think until that point I would have said, oh, I'm worried about this or or this is giving me stress. Like specific moments. And then once that was over, I would be okay. But when I got to this particular point in my life, the anxiety became so deep that it interfered with my sense of peace. It interfered with my sense of well-being. I couldn't pray, you know. I would go for long walks and look at a tree and say, Oh, God made that. And that would be my prayer. You know, I just could not focus like that. So I was in a deep well of anxiety. And it wasn't until I started sort of praying through this and looking at my life that I realized, because when it first started, I thought the problem was external. The problem was my job. The problem was all the expectations that were on me. And while those were real, what I realized was that the anxiety was my response to them. And the very reason that that I was working so hard was because in my younger years, I had experienced rejection. And now I wanted to work so hard and so well that nobody would ever want to reject me again. In other words, I was trying to be so perfect at my job that I could rejection proof my life that nobody would say, you're not good enough or this is not good enough. And so I was trying to rejection for my life. And instead, I landed myself in a hole of anxiety. Because you can't rejection proof your life. Jesus is the one who's accepted you. do.

I think until that point I would have said, oh, I'm worried about this or or this is giving me stress. Like specific moments. And then once that was over, I would be okay. But when I got to this particular point in my life, the anxiety became so deep that it interfered with my sense of peace. It interfered with my sense of well-being. I couldn't pray, you know. I would go for long walks and look at a tree and say, Oh, God made that. And that would be my prayer. You know, I just could not focus like that. So I was in a deep well of anxiety. And it wasn't until I started sort of praying through this and looking at my life that I realized, because when it first started, I thought the problem was external. The problem was my job. The problem was all the expectations that were on me. And while those were real, what I realized was that the anxiety was my response to them. And the very reason that that I was working so hard was because in my younger years, I had experienced rejection. And now I wanted to work so hard and so well that nobody would ever want to reject me again. In other words, I was trying to be so perfect at my job that I could rejection proof my life that nobody would say, you're not good enough or this is not good enough. And so I was trying to rejection for my life. And instead, I landed myself in a hole of anxiety. Because you can't rejection proof your life. Jesus is the one who's accepted you. do.

There was a time when I felt so insignificant that my core motivation was, I will prove that I have value.

There was a time when I felt so insignificant that my core motivation was, I will prove that I have value.

I love the way you put that. I will prove that I bring value. And I think for me, it was more that I will ensure that I have enough value that you will not walk away. You know you will not abandon me, you will not reject me. And so I think that's a wound. When it's the wound that's running your life, you're going to get into trouble when it's the wound that's directing your life rather than God. You're going to get into trouble. And unless I had gone through this pit of anxiety like Joseph, God allowed me to fall into this pit. It was too deep to pull myself out. And the journey wasn't pretty. Like the journey for Joseph wasn't pretty. But unless I had fallen into this pit, I would not have been aware that I had that wound and that the wound was running my life.

I love the way you put that. I will prove that I bring value. And I think for me, it was more that I will ensure that I have enough value that you will not walk away. You know you will not abandon me, you will not reject me. And so I think that's a wound. When it's the wound that's running your life, you're going to get into trouble when it's the wound that's directing your life rather than God. You're going to get into trouble. And unless I had gone through this pit of anxiety like Joseph, God allowed me to fall into this pit. It was too deep to pull myself out. And the journey wasn't pretty. Like the journey for Joseph wasn't pretty. But unless I had fallen into this pit, I would not have been aware that I had that wound and that the wound was running my life.

I don't I don't think we ever see the pit as a gift. But if the pit is what reveals what is true and leads us into our healing, it truly can be a gift in disguise.

I don't I don't think we ever see the pit as a gift. But if the pit is what reveals what is true and leads us into our healing, it truly can be a gift in disguise.

Absolutely. If you look at Joseph's life, what you realize is God is the whole time leading Joseph into that position where he can then set and protect his his people from destruction and also bring them into Egypt where they need to become a people. Obviously, later that becomes itself a problem and they have to be set free, but they need to be in Egypt for a season in order to grow larger and in order to become the people that they become. So every pit, every yoke of slavery, even the jail, all of the years, over a decade of pain that Joseph goes through, is actually one step at a time, drawing him closer to his destiny and to who he's meant to be and to what he's meant to do. So I think God definitely uses the pits in our lives, even when they are so painful.

Absolutely. If you look at Joseph's life, what you realize is God is the whole time leading Joseph into that position where he can then set and protect his his people from destruction and also bring them into Egypt where they need to become a people. Obviously, later that becomes itself a problem and they have to be set free, but they need to be in Egypt for a season in order to grow larger and in order to become the people that they become. So every pit, every yoke of slavery, even the jail, all of the years, over a decade of pain that Joseph goes through, is actually one step at a time, drawing him closer to his destiny and to who he's meant to be and to what he's meant to do. So I think God definitely uses the pits in our lives, even when they are so painful.

If we can, we want to avoid the pit of anxiety. But can we? Is it even possible?

If we can, we want to avoid the pit of anxiety. But can we? Is it even possible?

I think that's such a great question, Shauna, and I don't know the answer to that except to say if you can avoid it, of course. Absolutely. Particularly if you walk in Christ. I think the Lord will definitely help us avoid unnecessary pits. But because we live in a fallen world, there are certain things, certain things done to us, certain choices we have made that create those pits and they are there. And so if you cannot avoid it, then navigate it with Jesus, because that's really what I found was that's the hope. Like, I don't want anyone who's right now battling discouragement or anxiety to sort of feel like, oh my word.

I think that's such a great question, Shauna, and I don't know the answer to that except to say if you can avoid it, of course. Absolutely. Particularly if you walk in Christ. I think the Lord will definitely help us avoid unnecessary pits. But because we live in a fallen world, there are certain things, certain things done to us, certain choices we have made that create those pits and they are there. And so if you cannot avoid it, then navigate it with Jesus, because that's really what I found was that's the hope. Like, I don't want anyone who's right now battling discouragement or anxiety to sort of feel like, oh my word.

Like, yeah, I should have done this or I should have done that.

Like, yeah, I should have done this or I should have done that.

You know, because when you navigate it with Jesus, Jesus's whole intention is not only to pull you out of this pit, but is to use it for good in your life. We just came out of Holy Week and Easter and all of that, and when I was reading all of those verses, there's a verse when Jesus needs that colt of a donkey in order to ride into Jerusalem. The words he says to the owners of the donkey is the Lord has need of it. Now I want to say this to you. I mean, because this is so profound. The Lord has need of something in your life, because there are going to be moments in your life when Jesus is going to come to you and say, the Lord has need of it. And before that moment, think of all the preparation that went into that call to being born, that Colt didn't just suddenly appear out of nowhere. They looked after the mother. They, you know, the birthing, the feeding, the all of that work went into all of that sacrifice, went into it until they came to this moment when Jesus said, the Lord has need of it. So whatever you're going through is probably leading to a moment. God is preparing you for a moment when Jesus is going to come to you and say, there's something in your life, and the Lord has need of it. There's some courage, there's some trust, there's some knowledge, there's some wisdom, there's some patience. There's some faith. And the Lord has need of it.

You know, because when you navigate it with Jesus, Jesus's whole intention is not only to pull you out of this pit, but is to use it for good in your life. We just came out of Holy Week and Easter and all of that, and when I was reading all of those verses, there's a verse when Jesus needs that colt of a donkey in order to ride into Jerusalem. The words he says to the owners of the donkey is the Lord has need of it. Now I want to say this to you. I mean, because this is so profound. The Lord has need of something in your life, because there are going to be moments in your life when Jesus is going to come to you and say, the Lord has need of it. And before that moment, think of all the preparation that went into that call to being born, that Colt didn't just suddenly appear out of nowhere. They looked after the mother. They, you know, the birthing, the feeding, the all of that work went into all of that sacrifice, went into it until they came to this moment when Jesus said, the Lord has need of it. So whatever you're going through is probably leading to a moment. God is preparing you for a moment when Jesus is going to come to you and say, there's something in your life, and the Lord has need of it. There's some courage, there's some trust, there's some knowledge, there's some wisdom, there's some patience. There's some faith. And the Lord has need of it.

That reminds me of Mary. I mean, she had to surrender what she thought her life was going to be like for what God had for her. And her response was, May it be to me, as you have said?

That reminds me of Mary. I mean, she had to surrender what she thought her life was going to be like for what God had for her. And her response was, May it be to me, as you have said?

Absolutely. And I think when that moment comes, the Lord has need of it. Most of us who love Jesus, it's like it's just this incredible blessing. But as you're working toward it, because Jesus very rarely tells his children You're going through this because this will be the fruit, and I will have need of that fruit. He doesn't give you the plan ahead of time because he's building trust in you. In glassmaking, there's something called the glory Hole. It's that very, very hot furnace in which you put the glass to make it molten. When you go through the glory hole of life and you feel all molten and droopy, and you feel like I'm about to fall in the on the floor and be destroyed, there's a purpose to it. I took a class in glassmaking, and one thing I realized was I was so in invested in this molten glass because I was not going to drop it. But as long as it was attached to me by the rod, that glass was safe. And it was going to be what I made it. So that's the thing. As long as we stay attached to Jesus while we're going through the glory hole, then we will get to the other side.

Absolutely. And I think when that moment comes, the Lord has need of it. Most of us who love Jesus, it's like it's just this incredible blessing. But as you're working toward it, because Jesus very rarely tells his children You're going through this because this will be the fruit, and I will have need of that fruit. He doesn't give you the plan ahead of time because he's building trust in you. In glassmaking, there's something called the glory Hole. It's that very, very hot furnace in which you put the glass to make it molten. When you go through the glory hole of life and you feel all molten and droopy, and you feel like I'm about to fall in the on the floor and be destroyed, there's a purpose to it. I took a class in glassmaking, and one thing I realized was I was so in invested in this molten glass because I was not going to drop it. But as long as it was attached to me by the rod, that glass was safe. And it was going to be what I made it. So that's the thing. As long as we stay attached to Jesus while we're going through the glory hole, then we will get to the other side.

Tessa, someone listening is in the pit right now. What should they stop doing or what should they start doing?

Tessa, someone listening is in the pit right now. What should they stop doing or what should they start doing?

That's exactly the question you ask is, you know, Lord, okay, I'm in here, but what are the right steps that you want me to take in this situation? I think when you are in that position, you are really primed to hear lies from the enemy, to hear lies from your own brokenness, from your wounds. Your wounds will lie to you and for you to believe them, because you're often in a place of discouragement when you're in the pit. And so, like you mentioned, Mary, you mentioned, uh, how how Mary has to navigate this, but the word that Gabriel uses to describe Mary is highly favored when he greets her. So this is who she is. This is in the eyes of the Lord. She's highly favored. Now, I don't know about you, but if you were to tell me I am favored, or I'm highly like. If you're the favored kid, what does that mean? You get the biggest piece of the pie. You get the best treatment. You get the best seat on, you know, you get to watch what you want. Like, that's what highly favored means. But you look at Mary's life and what you see is, well, first of all, highly favored means, oh, uh, I'm going to be pregnant and I don't have a husband. And by the way, my betrothed is thinking about divorcing me and setting me aside because, you know, he thinks I've been unfaithful. Now God takes care of that. But the next step is now I'm very large with child, and now I have to travel probably by foot. But whatever it is, whatever the means of travel is, it's not going to be very convenient. It's not going to be very easy. Well, surely not that I'm pregnant. God is going to give me a four star hotel. No, I'm going to go into a manger to give birth. This does not look like highly favored.

That's exactly the question you ask is, you know, Lord, okay, I'm in here, but what are the right steps that you want me to take in this situation? I think when you are in that position, you are really primed to hear lies from the enemy, to hear lies from your own brokenness, from your wounds. Your wounds will lie to you and for you to believe them, because you're often in a place of discouragement when you're in the pit. And so, like you mentioned, Mary, you mentioned, uh, how how Mary has to navigate this, but the word that Gabriel uses to describe Mary is highly favored when he greets her. So this is who she is. This is in the eyes of the Lord. She's highly favored. Now, I don't know about you, but if you were to tell me I am favored, or I'm highly like. If you're the favored kid, what does that mean? You get the biggest piece of the pie. You get the best treatment. You get the best seat on, you know, you get to watch what you want. Like, that's what highly favored means. But you look at Mary's life and what you see is, well, first of all, highly favored means, oh, uh, I'm going to be pregnant and I don't have a husband. And by the way, my betrothed is thinking about divorcing me and setting me aside because, you know, he thinks I've been unfaithful. Now God takes care of that. But the next step is now I'm very large with child, and now I have to travel probably by foot. But whatever it is, whatever the means of travel is, it's not going to be very convenient. It's not going to be very easy. Well, surely not that I'm pregnant. God is going to give me a four star hotel. No, I'm going to go into a manger to give birth. This does not look like highly favored.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it is highly favored because highly favored sometimes comes with trouble. So I want to tell you right now, if you're starting to believe because you've been in the pit for a while, that God does not care for you, that somehow Jesus has set you aside, that you're less than his other children, that for whatever reason, you are the forgotten one. I want you to remember this. You are highly favored because you belong to God. So do not forget that you are favored because highly favored and trouble often walk through the door at the same time.

But it is highly favored because highly favored sometimes comes with trouble. So I want to tell you right now, if you're starting to believe because you've been in the pit for a while, that God does not care for you, that somehow Jesus has set you aside, that you're less than his other children, that for whatever reason, you are the forgotten one. I want you to remember this. You are highly favored because you belong to God. So do not forget that you are favored because highly favored and trouble often walk through the door at the same time.

Hmm.

Hmm.

So, standing on the truth of our identity that we are highly favored because we belong to him, made in his image, loved by him, adored by him. Those are the things that we can grab onto and that we can start doing. What do we need to stop doing to turn the tide?

So, standing on the truth of our identity that we are highly favored because we belong to him, made in his image, loved by him, adored by him. Those are the things that we can grab onto and that we can start doing. What do we need to stop doing to turn the tide?

Absolutely. So, you know, one thing is, as you said, is know the truth about ourselves. The second thing is know the truth about God. How are you looking at God? That may not be true. So if you have believed any lies about God, you need to remove those. They may be stumbling blocks toward you, receiving the comfort that you need right now in the Bible, we're told that Jesus is called the Consolation of Israel. Well, we've been grafted into Israel through Jesus Christ, so that promise is for us as well. He's supposed to be your consolation right now. And I know if you're going through anxiety, if you're going through fear, that you need consolation. So you need to be close to Jesus. But if they are stumbling blocks that are preventing you from being close to Jesus, you need to remove those stumbling blocks. So for me, one of those stumbling blocks was that I was listening. Well, I was allowing my wound to run my life. I was allowing that. So for you, your wound, your stumbling block might be something else. It might be self-pity. It might be a discontentment. It might be jealousy, it might be anger, it might be resentment, or that you're very judgy, you know, whatever it is that that you're blocking and those things, you don't need to judge yourself about those things. You need to understand the root of them, how you got there. And you need to allow Jesus to break through. There's a verse, Micah two three, where Jesus in some of the translations is called the breaker. He's the one who comes through before them and they can't follow through. He's the breaker because he breaks through. He breaches through whatever blocks your way to get to know the breaker in your life.

Absolutely. So, you know, one thing is, as you said, is know the truth about ourselves. The second thing is know the truth about God. How are you looking at God? That may not be true. So if you have believed any lies about God, you need to remove those. They may be stumbling blocks toward you, receiving the comfort that you need right now in the Bible, we're told that Jesus is called the Consolation of Israel. Well, we've been grafted into Israel through Jesus Christ, so that promise is for us as well. He's supposed to be your consolation right now. And I know if you're going through anxiety, if you're going through fear, that you need consolation. So you need to be close to Jesus. But if they are stumbling blocks that are preventing you from being close to Jesus, you need to remove those stumbling blocks. So for me, one of those stumbling blocks was that I was listening. Well, I was allowing my wound to run my life. I was allowing that. So for you, your wound, your stumbling block might be something else. It might be self-pity. It might be a discontentment. It might be jealousy, it might be anger, it might be resentment, or that you're very judgy, you know, whatever it is that that you're blocking and those things, you don't need to judge yourself about those things. You need to understand the root of them, how you got there. And you need to allow Jesus to break through. There's a verse, Micah two three, where Jesus in some of the translations is called the breaker. He's the one who comes through before them and they can't follow through. He's the breaker because he breaks through. He breaches through whatever blocks your way to get to know the breaker in your life.

Yes.

Yes.

Tessa, what's a scripture that has acted like an anchor point for you when you were in the pit of anxiety?

Tessa, what's a scripture that has acted like an anchor point for you when you were in the pit of anxiety?

You know, anchor points. That word came for me because I was taking a class in archery. I was doing some research, and I needed to learn how that worked. And the class on archery, what I learned was, because I'm only five feet tall, I'm kind of wimpy. And so when you're doing archery, you're draw hand is continuously drawing and your left hand is holding the bow and you have to hold it straight after a while, when you keep doing this again and again and again, your muscles will literally start shivering. This is not good for Aim.

You know, anchor points. That word came for me because I was taking a class in archery. I was doing some research, and I needed to learn how that worked. And the class on archery, what I learned was, because I'm only five feet tall, I'm kind of wimpy. And so when you're doing archery, you're draw hand is continuously drawing and your left hand is holding the bow and you have to hold it straight after a while, when you keep doing this again and again and again, your muscles will literally start shivering. This is not good for Aim.

When your hand is shivering and your muscles are shivering.

When your hand is shivering and your muscles are shivering.

When I first came into my lesson, I noticed there were arrows in the ceiling in the wall everywhere and I was like, what are arrows.

When I first came into my lesson, I noticed there were arrows in the ceiling in the wall everywhere and I was like, what are arrows.

Doing in this room?

Doing in this room?

About an hour I started realizing, oh, that's what happens because your muscles are shaking so much, your arrows go wide. But they taught me something. If you rest your draw, hand your fingers of your draw hand. As you're pulling the string, you can rest it on something that's called the anchor point. It can be your. For everyone, it's different. And you have to figure out what that is. It can be your chin. It can be your cheek. It can be your neck. When you rest it now, there's somewhere steady on your body. No matter how unsteady you are, at least one part of you stops shaking and it helps you. And I started hitting the arrows at least into the target, which is really important. So I started realizing that I needed things like that, something very quickly that I could rest on And in internalizing verses in a deeper way, because all of us know some verses in our heads. But bringing that to a place that as soon as I say that verse, I know what that means and I can rest on it. There's a verse in Deuteronomy seven where the Israel is about to enter into the Promised Land, and God says to them, you will not conquer them all at once, but little by little. And I'm sure the Israelites are like, well, why? Little by little, God, like I won and all at once. Answer please, can we just conquer them all at once? But God gives them an answer. God says the reason is there are wild animals, and if you conquer them all at once, you're no match for the wild animals. So there's something besides the enemy that they're facing. There's something even worse right behind them. And they need to do this little by little, or that something worse is going to get them. So one of my, um, really verses that I kept coming back to was little by little because, you know, I was praying for this. It took about two years for me to really come out of that depth of anxiety to a place of stability. And so you can bet that I kept praying for those all at once prayers a.

About an hour I started realizing, oh, that's what happens because your muscles are shaking so much, your arrows go wide. But they taught me something. If you rest your draw, hand your fingers of your draw hand. As you're pulling the string, you can rest it on something that's called the anchor point. It can be your. For everyone, it's different. And you have to figure out what that is. It can be your chin. It can be your cheek. It can be your neck. When you rest it now, there's somewhere steady on your body. No matter how unsteady you are, at least one part of you stops shaking and it helps you. And I started hitting the arrows at least into the target, which is really important. So I started realizing that I needed things like that, something very quickly that I could rest on And in internalizing verses in a deeper way, because all of us know some verses in our heads. But bringing that to a place that as soon as I say that verse, I know what that means and I can rest on it. There's a verse in Deuteronomy seven where the Israel is about to enter into the Promised Land, and God says to them, you will not conquer them all at once, but little by little. And I'm sure the Israelites are like, well, why? Little by little, God, like I won and all at once. Answer please, can we just conquer them all at once? But God gives them an answer. God says the reason is there are wild animals, and if you conquer them all at once, you're no match for the wild animals. So there's something besides the enemy that they're facing. There's something even worse right behind them. And they need to do this little by little, or that something worse is going to get them. So one of my, um, really verses that I kept coming back to was little by little because, you know, I was praying for this. It took about two years for me to really come out of that depth of anxiety to a place of stability. And so you can bet that I kept praying for those all at once prayers a.

Lot along the way.

Lot along the way.

Jesus was teaching me there little by little. And so find those verses that will speak to you that you can lean your weight on and bring them deeper by spending a lot of time.

Jesus was teaching me there little by little. And so find those verses that will speak to you that you can lean your weight on and bring them deeper by spending a lot of time.

We all want the God of the miraculous to just immediately move in our lives, just in a moment. And I've seen God do that, and I am so grateful for it. But I've also seen that there's something pretty miraculous and wonderful about a God that sees you through long seasons. Talk about what you learned from it being a long journey, rather than it being a short journey.

We all want the God of the miraculous to just immediately move in our lives, just in a moment. And I've seen God do that, and I am so grateful for it. But I've also seen that there's something pretty miraculous and wonderful about a God that sees you through long seasons. Talk about what you learned from it being a long journey, rather than it being a short journey.

I love how you put that, Shauna and I think that will preach like we should just sit on that because it is true. There is a fruit to the long seasons. When God sees you through one step at a time, rather than immediately, that you cannot get in the immediate answers. So one of the things that God did to me was he increased my capacity for a number of things. He increased my capacity for trusting him because I had no strength to lean on anymore. The only way I could get through it was to wholly throw the weight of my life on him. And I would never have learned that if I hadn't gone through what I went through, through that depth. So he increased my capacity for trust. He increased my capacity to know him as father, the one who provides for me. The weight of my life was not on me. The weight of my provision was not on me. I learned he was my provider, and when I came to the other side, What I realized was, in general, my capacity to do the work that he had set aside for me, because at that point I was working in the church, I was working in women's ministry, and it was a it was a job that had a lot of requirements. And, um, it was hard. I won't say it was joyful, but it was hard. But if you had given me what, what he has entrusted me with now, which is much bigger, I would have just gone splat under the weight of that. I would not have been able to carry it. But by going through that season, little by little, he added to me the strength and the fortitude I needed for this life so I can live this life now with joy and not go splat under the weight of it.

I love how you put that, Shauna and I think that will preach like we should just sit on that because it is true. There is a fruit to the long seasons. When God sees you through one step at a time, rather than immediately, that you cannot get in the immediate answers. So one of the things that God did to me was he increased my capacity for a number of things. He increased my capacity for trusting him because I had no strength to lean on anymore. The only way I could get through it was to wholly throw the weight of my life on him. And I would never have learned that if I hadn't gone through what I went through, through that depth. So he increased my capacity for trust. He increased my capacity to know him as father, the one who provides for me. The weight of my life was not on me. The weight of my provision was not on me. I learned he was my provider, and when I came to the other side, What I realized was, in general, my capacity to do the work that he had set aside for me, because at that point I was working in the church, I was working in women's ministry, and it was a it was a job that had a lot of requirements. And, um, it was hard. I won't say it was joyful, but it was hard. But if you had given me what, what he has entrusted me with now, which is much bigger, I would have just gone splat under the weight of that. I would not have been able to carry it. But by going through that season, little by little, he added to me the strength and the fortitude I needed for this life so I can live this life now with joy and not go splat under the weight of it.

Yes.

Yes.

I mean, Joseph and all that he went through, it was all to prepare him to save a nation. But I'm sure he wasn't thinking that as he was going through it when he was in the pit or when he was in prison. He probably wasn't thinking, you know what? God's really shaping my character through this.

I mean, Joseph and all that he went through, it was all to prepare him to save a nation. But I'm sure he wasn't thinking that as he was going through it when he was in the pit or when he was in prison. He probably wasn't thinking, you know what? God's really shaping my character through this.

And the truth is, I cannot tell you because I'm mature enough to know that truth, that God is shaping my character. I actually think about that, but I cannot tell you how many times I've said, Lord, I'd rather just be a doorkeeper at the house of the Lord than go through any more of this. Like I'm good. I'm good now. Like, don't make character any better. Just make life easier. We go into that place where we're like, I know I'm. I'm imperfect. Just cover me by the blood of the lamb and just take me as I am. But please don't make my character any better as the price right now is too high. But that is part of the process of learning to lean on God. The strengthening cannot come without the glory hole. The strengthening cannot come without you melting to the very core of your being, so that on your own you cannot stand. And you need through and through to the marrow of your bones. You need Jesus to hold you up. It's seasons like that that teach us who he is. Not just who we are, but who he is.

And the truth is, I cannot tell you because I'm mature enough to know that truth, that God is shaping my character. I actually think about that, but I cannot tell you how many times I've said, Lord, I'd rather just be a doorkeeper at the house of the Lord than go through any more of this. Like I'm good. I'm good now. Like, don't make character any better. Just make life easier. We go into that place where we're like, I know I'm. I'm imperfect. Just cover me by the blood of the lamb and just take me as I am. But please don't make my character any better as the price right now is too high. But that is part of the process of learning to lean on God. The strengthening cannot come without the glory hole. The strengthening cannot come without you melting to the very core of your being, so that on your own you cannot stand. And you need through and through to the marrow of your bones. You need Jesus to hold you up. It's seasons like that that teach us who he is. Not just who we are, but who he is.

There's someone listening right now who is so in the middle of the journey, and they need rest for their soul. And they just need they need truth and they need encouragement. And I'm wondering if you would just pray over them right now.

There's someone listening right now who is so in the middle of the journey, and they need rest for their soul. And they just need they need truth and they need encouragement. And I'm wondering if you would just pray over them right now.

I would be delighted to. Oh Heavenly Father, how you treasure that person, how you deeply love the one who's going through the midst of their pit, whether it's discouragement, whether they're so anxious, whether they don't know where their bread is coming from tomorrow, whatever it is that they're going, Lord. However broken they are, however shattered they are. I ask right now that you press your hand round about them, that they may feel and experience your consolation, that they may know there's coming that time where you are increasing their capacity for joy, for hope, for life, where you are breaking the broken patterns in their lives. Help them right now to trust you, to lean on you, and to know, oh Lord, that you care for them. I ask Jesus that as much as possible, you make this season go by quickly, and that they will get to that place where they can. When you say to them, the Lord has need of it. They'll have. That is beautiful, Jesus.

I would be delighted to. Oh Heavenly Father, how you treasure that person, how you deeply love the one who's going through the midst of their pit, whether it's discouragement, whether they're so anxious, whether they don't know where their bread is coming from tomorrow, whatever it is that they're going, Lord. However broken they are, however shattered they are. I ask right now that you press your hand round about them, that they may feel and experience your consolation, that they may know there's coming that time where you are increasing their capacity for joy, for hope, for life, where you are breaking the broken patterns in their lives. Help them right now to trust you, to lean on you, and to know, oh Lord, that you care for them. I ask Jesus that as much as possible, you make this season go by quickly, and that they will get to that place where they can. When you say to them, the Lord has need of it. They'll have. That is beautiful, Jesus.

Thanks for letting Mary and Shawna walk the real life journey with you. The content from the podcast comes from their live show Gary and Shawna Mornings on 89.3 Moody Radio, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Reach out to us by texting 800 968 8930. And please subscribe.

Thanks for letting Mary and Shawna walk the real life journey with you. The content from the podcast comes from their live show Gary and Shawna Mornings on 89.3 Moody Radio, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Reach out to us by texting 800 968 8930. And please subscribe.